Sigma: Nikolai Seems More Active Than Usual.

Fyodor: I have been meaning to talk to you alone, Nikolai.

Nikolai: That’s great! I’ve been meaning to have a chat alone with you too!

Sigma: *walks by* Keep it in your pants, both of you!

Sigma: I’ve been noticing that Pumpkin spice is popular around this time.

Nikolai: I mean it’s fine.

Sigma: I can understand coffee, desserts, soaps, and candles…

Nikolai: But?

Sigma: Now they put it in pastas and deodorant?

Nikolai: You forgot chloroform.

Sigma: What?

Cor: Prompto, I need you to sign this. It's very important for the Lucis.

Prompto: *starts to sign it* so what is it? A treaty? A petition for something?

Cor: *takes the paper* adoption papers. You're now my son. *walks away*

Ais: *cornering Kira* I plan on making you scream

Kira: *panicking remembering the other night* As in kill me or have sex with me?

Vere: whatever makes him cum faster

Atsushi: Why did you cut my leg off!?

Akutagawa: Because you made me mad!

Atsushi: All I said was “Do you want ramen tonight?” And then you cut my leg off!

Akutagawa: I don’t want ramen I want pork buns!

Atsushi: Then tell me like a damn human being not some damn rabid animal! This is why you don’t have any friends!

Nero: I'd give my right arm to find out who my parents really are

Vergil: Wish granted

Vergil: *rips off Nero's right arm*

Vergil: I'm your father

Ardyn: who made the "hate Ardyn fan club"?!

Noctis: Almost everyone in this room

Ardyn: I have done nothing to deserve this.

Noct: you helped kill my father and plunged the world into darkness.

Ignis: you tried to kill Noctis and made me go blind.

Prompto: you imprisoned and tortured me.

Ravus: you annoy me and stabbed my sister.

Regis: you destroyed my city

Gladio: you tricked so many people.

Lunafreya: you angered the Astrals.

Alice: You enslaved my people.

Iris: you let Caligo kill Jared.

Loqi: you make fun of my height.

Aranea: you traumatize children.

Nyx: you keep screwing up my training

Clarus: and you keep stalking all of us.

Ardyn: you all hold grudges.

Prompto: some of that you did three months ago.

Nikolai: I’m not horny.

*Sees Fyodor and Sigma*

Nikolai: Most of the time….

Prompto: I just noticed we are all Disney princesses. None of us have mothers and things have happened to us.

Noctis: please no singing

Ignis: if anyone sings, I'm crashing the regalia and killing us all.

Cor: Prompto we need to talk about your problem.

Prompto: *in his pile of chocobo plushies* what problem?