Nero: Are You Going To Apologize For Ripping Arm Off?

Dazai: Wow, you’re so short. You want me to put a few inches in you, slug?

Chuuya: How is half an inch gonna help me?

Ignis: Prompto please promise me you and Noct will not do anything illegal while I'm gone.

Prompto: don't worry Iggy. I promise we will be on our best behavior.

*five minutes later*

Prompto: Wanna go trash Ardyn's car?

Noctis: hell yeah

I just really like the idea of Ardyn in a suit ok

Dazai: *Flirting with Sigma* You still a virgin?

Sigma: Does me getting fucked over by life count as sex?

Nero: I’m trying to find a good song for Vergil’s ringtone when he calls me so I can know it’s him.

Dante: *mutteres* “Fuck you” comes to mind

Funny and/or creepy things Noctis has said.

I should do more funny creepy dialogue more often.

—

Noctis: Oh my god, my dad is coming. Everyone T-pose!

Ignis: Noct-

Noctis: NOW.

—

Noctis: Goddamnit.

Prompto: What?

Noctis: It’s Monday.

—-

Noctis: In this world, it’s fish or be fished.

Ignis: That doesn’t make sense.

Noctis: Fishes like you shouldn’t speak to fisherman like me!

Ignis: Noct.

Noctis: Begone Fishnis! Fishermoctis is on the hunt for Promfish!

Prompto: I’m confused, amused, and a bit unnerved?

—

Noctis: Since you’re all meat and not fat, does that mean if I cut you into thin slices I would feast for weeks?

Gladiolus: Please get that sword away from me.

—

Noctis: Nyx can I eat your hands?

Nyx: Um, no?

Noctis: Fine, your legs. Not like you need them.

Nyx: Uumm, I do?

Noctis: Fine, Earlobe.

Nyx: N- …let me think.

Crowe/Libertus: Nyx!

Nyx: What?

Noctis: Can I eat it or what?

Nyx: Ye- wait, uh No!

Noctis: Assholes.

—

Noctis: Are finger foods made out of fingers?

Ignis: Please put the knife down.

—

Prompto: So Behemoths eat people, so does that mean we’re eating people when we’re eating Behemoths?

Gladiolus: No.

Noctis: Yes.

Gladiolus: Noct, no.

Noctis: Noct, Yes.

Gladiolus: No damnit!

Ignis: Actually, Noctis is correct.

Gladiolus: What?!

Noctis: Told you.

—-

Noctis: I don’t like eyeballs, tastes too squishy.

Ignis: Please tell me you’re talking about grapes.

Noctis: What else would I be talking about?

Gladiolus: Stop calling them eyeballs.

Noctis: They look like them so no.

Gladiolus: Good grief.

Noctis: Also because Ignis won’t let me have real eyeballs so grapes at the closest thing I can have.

Gladiolus: What?!

Noctis: Give me eyes.

Ignis: Again, no.

—-

Noctis: Ignis is my impulse control, so I’m gonna eat your fingers while he’s gone.

Libertus: I don’t know how I got here but somebody untie me!!

—-

Reblog!

#Wakemyson

Ardyn: come on now Prompto dear. Haven't you heard "love is an open door?"

Prompto: NO LOVE IS A CLOSED LOCKED BARRICADED DOOR! *shoving a bed up against a door*

Sigma: Nikolai. Where are you going?

Nikolai: Probably an asylum or the electric chair if I get caught.

Sigma:

Nikolai: Bathroom.

Who would be the one to trick Thief MC into a spar just to pin them or trick them into being pinned by MC?