Ravus: I Tried To Drown Ardyn In The Fountain Today.

Dante: Verge you kinda remind me of Darth Vader from Star Wars. You know why?

Vergil: Because I am seen as the most feared man in both the demon and human world?

Dante: No. because you’re a deadbeat dad that ripped his son’s arm off you inconsiderate asshole.

Nero: FUCK YOU

I want these motherfucking demons out of my motherfucking city

Probably Dante

Sum up living with Ardyn.

Person: Ardyn, No!

Ardyn: Ardyn, yes!

----------

Person: why are the cops at our door?

Ardyn: It is funny how you are surprised the cops are at our door?

---------------

Person: Did you try to sacrifice me to Ifrit last night?

Ardyn: *hides the knife* now why would I do that?

Kira: You ever get a little voice in your head that tells you that someone is a red flag?

Ais: Which voice?

Kira: Are you- Are you okay?

Sigma: I’ve been noticing that Pumpkin spice is popular around this time.

Nikolai: I mean it’s fine.

Sigma: I can understand coffee, desserts, soaps, and candles…

Nikolai: But?

Sigma: Now they put it in pastas and deodorant?

Nikolai: You forgot chloroform.

Sigma: What?

I turned on the volume to hear it pop. Now I’m disappointed

By plantpotters

Fyodor: While you are here I would like to give you a word of advice. Never under any circumstance should you be alone with Nikolai Gogol.

Sigma: Why is that?

Nikolai: *Appears behind Sigma* You’ll find out later.

Went to the wrong Sesame Street

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

*Chuuya holding injured Dazai in his arms*

Dazai: How sweet. The princess was saved by a dwarf in a stupid hat.

Chuuya: *Drops Dazai into the harbor* Oh no I dropped the princess.

Chuuya: How do we wake him up?

Dazai: True love’s kiss!

Chuuya: What?

Dazai: I kiss him and he wakes up.

Sigma: *Sits up* I’m awake! Don’t kiss me!