If I Wrote A Zombie Apocalypse Story, Guns And Ammo Would Be Hard To Come By, Because All The Gun Nuts

Spotted Towhees (Pipilo maculatus) look like someone took an American Robin (Turdus migratorius) and tried to make it "edgy."

By Pranav Tadepalli, CC BY-SA 4.0

And they really are edgy little fuckers, too. They'll pull up every single shoot that pokes its head above ground in your garden, and are very clever at getting through barriers. They do not fear humans, not further than you could lightly toss one.

If you find a roadkill or mysteriously-dead towhee in Spring, it's worth its weight in gold, because they are deterred by a corpse of their own species. The next problem is putting it somewhere these ground-feeding birds will notice it, without making it a free snack for the first scavenger that comes along.

The adhd modes of food

1. You ate that burger so fast. You ate that burger so fucking fast and now the whole Red Robin is staring at you god what the fuck

2. You started eating like a normal person, but then you started talking or daydreaming and now the waitress is handing you the check but you’ve still got half a plate of cold fettuccine

3. You were going to go out to eat, but then you saw a video in your YouTube recommendation that drew you towards it like moth to a flame, and now it’s 10 pm and you’ve got an empty bag of tortilla chips in your hand and shame in your heart

4. Mac And Cheese

Overheard last summer in the Downtown Tourist Trap:

(1) "He used, in an hour and a half, a whole can of propane."

(2) (while one of the best-known marimba bands on the West Coast is playing in the park) "There's some odd music over there. Do you wanna come?"

I have successfully resisted the urge to use the phrase "well-placed bazinga" suggestively. You're welcome.

they dont want you to acknowledge this, but a well-placed "bazinga" is actually the funniest and most lethal thing on eartj

New RWD just dropped, so

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

I wish I could work that fast

'I wonder if you'll recognise the feeling.'

Panel redraw!!!! (but collage and paint)

( @comicaurora )

How about hat racing? You can hat race on foot, or with horses or bicycles, or even in convertibles.

Everyone wears the same kind of hat. If your hat blows off or falls off during the race, you're disqualified.

No trying to knock off each other's hats. No adhesives.

if i had a time machine and i wanted to absolutely destroy an ancient emperor or king, i would take them to the shark tunnel of an aquarium. giving them an ozymandias view of their legacy would do nothing, they can see that all empires rot just by looking around them. but the shark tunnel of an aquarium is something they haven’t seen before, something no one has seen before, something magnificent that they could build with technology only slightly out of their reach. they would bankrupt their nation trying to recreate that shark tunnel for themself. their dynasty would collapse within three generations, and, if heaven is on my side, they themself will be eaten by a shark to the delight of generations of historians to come

Perhaps... perhaps Sauron could have become anything he wanted to, anything at all, with all that power, but he chose to become a gigantic glowing red eye simply because he couldn't comprehend that it looked ominous, he thought it looked great, he wasn't intentionally trying to scare or intimidate anyone. He was just that divorced from reality, and nobody dared to tell him otherwise.

Kind of like bureaucracies and corporations that commission terrifying and oppressive Brutalist architecture think it looks "rather nice, actually," because their aesthetics are skewed that far away from how ordinary people see the world... so far that "oppressive," "looming," and "unsettling" seem like positive traits.

Pro tip:

Never confuse the War In the Pacific with the War Of the Pacific.