Honestly I Need Like Fourteen Hours Of Sleep And Three Hours To Wake Up To Function Properly

Ha flat Earthers take that. Scientifically proven the Earth is FIDGET SPINNER. Take your nonsense theories somewhere else, this is truth.

just precisely how bad was 1500s jerusalem at making maps, you ask? well,

The reason I'm not funny is because whenever I think of something funny I laugh uncontrollably and can't get it out

When you've been in your room for days and you're parents get mad and then they threaten to come in and you're just like yep I think it's time to leave now

PRETTY

129/365 - In the back of my head. //

Worlds worst pun

Person: On one hand I think I'll be scared on the roller coaster, but on the other hand it looks pretty fun Me: yes, it has its ups and downs

I’m Mary Poppins y'all!

Yondu, Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 (via dragonfly1302)

😂😂lmao I love yondu

Number four. I'd like to see a man try that.

Male tennis players still feel the need to downplay Serena Williams.

John McEnroe is promoting his new book and couldn’t resist flapping his gums about Serena Williams, the world’s best tennis player and one of the greatest athletes of all time.

Serena Williams has asked John McEnroe to respect her after he stated the 23-time Grand Slam champion would be “like 700” in the world tennis rankings if she played on the men’s tour.

“If she played the men’s circuit she’d be, like, 700 in the world,” said McEnroe, while promoting his latest memoir But Seriously.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t think Serena is an incredible player, and I suppose anything’s possible; maybe at some point a women’s tennis player can be better than anybody.

"I just haven’t seen that in any other sport, and I haven’t seen it in tennis. If she had to just play the men’s circuit, it would be an entirely different story.”

Williams responded on Monday evening, stating: “Dear John, I adore and respect you but please please keep me out of your statements that are not factually based.

"I’ve never played anyone ranked "there” nor do I have time. Respect me and my privacy as I’m trying to have a baby. Good day sir.“

(cont. Telegraph UK) 

Tennis is one of those sports where men repeatedly feel the need to say to women "ok you’re good, but you can’t beat me” as if letting her be good on its own is too threatening to your manhood.  I know this isn’t that important and John McEnroe has always been an obnoxious little shit but I do randomly want to make a few points about comparing women’s athletics to men’s athletics.

Keep reading

More like nine things to make you have an unexpected by confusingly happy exersential crisis

9 things to seriously make you re-consider the entire existence of mankind; a sequel 

Source: Pinterest

What even are birthdays??

Like?? Congrats on surviving another journey around the sun??

I feel uncomfortable when it's not at exactly 50 so...

I feel uncomfortable when the TV volume is not divisible by 2 or 5.