Ordinary Business | I. Sae

OMGGTR THERE R SO MANY ENSTARS SMAUS NOW,,, BACK WHEN I WAS QUITE NEW TO THE ENSTARS FANDOM THERE'S THIS ONE NATSJME SMAU I ENCOUNTERED (it doesn't have chaps yet during that time) WHEN I WAS READING NATSJME X READER FANFICS HELFLF IM SO HAPPY THERE R NEW OTHER SMAUS NOW TOO

✎Regret, love and death

Itoshi Rin, Itoshi Sae, Michael Kaiser x g/n!reader

Summary: The bllk boys break up with you not knowing you're terminally ill and they meet you again but this time you're dying right in front of them.

Warning: Angst, no fluff, breakup and breakdown, death, grief

A/n: this is super cliche ik but this has been on my mind for months now, it's time i actually write about it. Listening to ditto while making this. I tried to make it g/n so bear with me

Itoshi Rin

"Stay in the middle, like you a little"

Itoshi Rin who left you months ago after a stupid argument he wishes he could've prevented. He tells himself that he doesn't need you anymore and that he'll never open up his heart again.

Itoshi Rin who gets mad when he sees happy couples, he swears it's anger and jealousy but it's mostly confusion and betrayal. He believed that it was your fault that he became this vulnerable but he willingly gave his heart to you.

Being a professional athlete like Itoshi Rin it's common to regularly get some injuries here and there so he visits the hospital.

He waited patiently right outside his clinic, an earbud in one ear and he listened to the environment around him. Squeaky wheelchairs, cries from a hospital room nearby and patients conversing in daily chit-chat. The line at the clinic was taking too long so he decided he'll go next time; but something caught his eye. The soles of his shoes clack on the marble floor at the empty hallway and the music he's listening to but he hears the faint beating of a heart monitor. Then, he sees your name in one hospital room.

He couldn't believe his eyes. There was a folder attached loosely on the door, your name written in lazy cursive and numerous descriptions he couldn't understand. Rereading and rereading the name on the folder over and over again, his eyes narrowed as he decided to look over to the glass window at the door; he saw you. Rin doesn't understand why you were here and why the folder was marked "terminal— confined" . The writings are too messy for him to understand but his heart beats loudly through his body like a gong.

He tries to convince himself it's probably someone else but he knew you too much to know that the one stuck in that wrinkly hospital bed was you.

He has to go, he has to but he doesn't. He takes a deep breath and opens the door. You open your eyes as you realize your peace was disturbed from the loud creaking of the door. You scrunch your nose and blink your eyes as you take a look at the figure standing at the side of your bed, it was Rin.

"You… why are you here?" He whispered, you could barely hear him but he stared down at you with pity, anger, grief— you don't know.

"I should be the one asking you that." Your voice was muffled by the oxygen mask strapped to your head as you sat yourself up and looked up to him, he tried to avoid your gaze as he looked over to the IVs inserted into your wrists, wires everywhere he was sure he almost stepped on one.

Rin furrowed his brows in irritation, all this pent up anger from the break up bursting all at once, "What the fuck happened to you?"

You gave him a weak smile, "A week before we broke up… I was diagnosed with a heart disease. I couldn't tell you what happened to me, then we fought but I was too scared and stressed I broke things off."

Rin breathes raggedly, fear and guilt flooding his senses; wondering why he was such an idiot to leave you.

"Will you get better?"

You smile again at his stupidity, you know he's seen the document attached at the door saying 'patient in hospice' but Rin wants to hear it from you, he wants you to confirm his thoughts. Maybe even deny it so he'll feel better. You feel tears drip down your arm as you watch him shaken like he's seen a ghost.

"I won't, so go now."

Rin wants to pour out all his emotions, everything welling up inside his heart— the thoughts brewing in the depths of his heart that ate him alive from the time you were seperated but he holds himself back.

His knees buckled and his strength prior to this incident dissipated into nothing as he held onto his remaining resolve. Like the coward he always was, he leaves and never comes back… but he will come back to you eventually; with a chrysanthemum in hand this time and a fresh black suit he picked out.

Itoshi Sae

"Don't want no riddle, Say it, Say it back"

Itoshi Sae who visits Japan for the first time in months, only going back to renew his passport.

It wasn't his intention to pass by your old friend group in public, he eavesdropped on their mindless conversation then they started talking about you.

Itoshi Sae listens to their conversation, getting some details about you. Hearing that you got confined somewhere and that there was no one to take care of you other than the nurses and hospice workers stationed at your room.

Itoshi Sae who tries to keep that newfound information out of his mind but the thought of you being confined in a hospital is making his heart race. Not in love nor from the butterflies he used to get when talking to you— no. He couldn't stop thinking of you. He promised to himself to never interact with you, avoid every single thing that reminded him of you but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

Itoshi Sae who visits the hospital and asks where you are, pretending that he was a visitor to the nurses was easier than he thought.

"Are you asking about that patient?"

He nodded, the nurse was stupid enough to fall for his charms as she sent him the directions to your room. Sae knows what dangerous game he's playing, if he comes back to you again then it defeats the purpose of avoiding you forever like he promised himself but he still goes.

It was a nice afternoon, birds chirping and he saw little children from the nursery running around in the hallways with toys in their hands. He mentally prepared himself for what he was about to see, turning away from your hospital room for a moment before entering.

His eyes softened for a moment when he laid his eyes on you, you were reading a book— an eerie one at that. Sae raised an eyebrow when he noticed that you didn't hear him enter, what if you were deliberately ignoring him? He was sure you were but he didn't catch your attention until he stepped closer to your bed, a shadow looming over you as you slowly looked up to him.

The two of you stare at each other for what it felt like forever, he's still looking at you like that. Love in his irises but there's a tint of melancholy.

You could see Sae saying something to you, you tried to read his lips but his words fell on deaf ears.

Sae was getting irritated on why you didn't respond but you took the white board that was resting on your bedside table. He patiently watched you write something on the board, clack, clack, clack.

'Im deaf. I can't hear you.'

Just months ago you were fine but he gets more ill with worry when his mind starts to drift and wonder what could've happened to you when he left you here all alone.

You erased the writing on the board, giddily like a child as you handed him the board next, signaling him to also write you something.

The athlete hesitated for a moment before grabbing the board off your hands, writing something hastily. He feels like if he wasted any more time he'll lose everything— but he knew that he already did the moment when he called it quits months ago.

'What happened', he wrote on the board, streaks of ink staining his palm but that's the least of his worries.

You sat up in a more comfortable position before opening the drawer, taking a clipboard, medical documents clipped to the board. Sae reads the papers, his throat starts burning and he feels tears building up in his eyes. He flips through the papers, information about your condition printed on the tiny pieces of paper as he reads through everything.

You couldn't understand what he was muttering under his breath but you were sure it was something… the way he bit his lip to hold back the tears and the way his hands got sweaty as he scanned the board.

Sae loved many things, you, soccer, coffee and the beach. There was something about hospitals that made him uneasy. Hospitals correlated to injury and death— a big no no for him. But as an athlete, a pro one at that it's not surprising that he regularly visits the hospital for nutrition advice or medicine. Though… this one was his worst visit yet. He told himself that he won't ever cry or love you again, that's why it's 'Sae loved' but he realizes he still loves you. Even though you're stuck on the hospital bed, sickly and dying, your arms littered with scars from the tubes that go in and out your skin and maybe the way you look so frail and skinny now compared to what you looked like months ago; he still loves you. He realized that in this moment he's always going to be looking for you the way you pathetically looked for him in the hospital, wishing he was there after you two broke up.

At least now the gods were merciful enough to grace you with his presence for the last time, even in this situation you still smiled at him like he deserved to see that again.

Itoshi Sae who visits you again tomorrow before you pull off the plug, Pain plastered on his face as he holds you tightly. He broke his promise.

To you, to never hurt you.

To himself, to never love you again.

Michael Kaiser

"Oh say it ditto, Can't wait till the morning, So say it ditto"

Michael Kaiser pretends he's fine after the break up and to distract himself from the pain, he dates other people— looking for someone who can fill the void you carved in his heart, looking for you.

Michael Kaiser who still wears the cardigan you bought him, giving him solace and comfort when he curls up in his bed alone, wishing you were there with him.

You and Kaiser didn't break up on bad terms, more like a confusing and neutral breakup. He told you he was done and you didn't beg him to stay, after all he neglected you for his selfish desires. He's like an icarus who has flown too close to the sun, his ego representing the melting wax wings of icarus— it burned your skin and melted your patience.

Michael Kaiser still stalks you in his other account you forgot that existed. He wouldn't admit it but he patiently waited for an update on your account.

Michael Kaiser who stalks your account and finally sees something. Your parents' post talking about you being stuck in the hospital.

Michael Kaiser doesn't cry, he can't. Images on the posts ingraining— burning itself in the deepest parts of his brain then it triggers something in him. Confusion.

He doesn't know the exact details of your situation but he's too curious to scroll past the post.

Michael Kaiser who gets a cab and arrives at your hospital, like a man with no shame he looks for your room.

It was nighttime and the hospital was uncannily quiet, he wasn't sure why but the guard was doing a terrible job at guarding the entrance of the hospital. Kaiser walks past the sleepy guard, ignoring the thumping sound of the guard falling on the floor as he makes his way to the lady on the desk.

"What brings you in here, sir?"

He pushes up his glasses, "I'm looking for my lover, [patient name]", he says boldly, lying through his teeth but he knows it's the only way they'll let him in.

"Give me a minute," the nurse starts flipping through the hospital log book, "They're at room 405, third floor."

Kaiser nods, thanking the nurse as he takes the elevator.

'ding' Kaiser enters the elevator, checking his watch while waiting for it to arrive at the third floor. The elevator was dimmed and it looked like a scene straight from horror movies, another old lady in a wheelchair strolls to the elevator.

"What's a handsome young man like you doing in the dead of the night here?" The grandma says in a hoarse voice, grey hairs covering her face as she holds onto both her wheelchair and fruits.

Though Kaiser is an asshole, a liar, he naturally had a soft spot for children and the elderly. "I'm here for my… lover" he doesn't know what gave it away but the older woman noticed the hesitance in his voice.

The grandma nodded at his reply, 'ding!'

"I guess this is my stop." Kaiser stepped out of the elevator, waving goodbye to the elderly woman and ambled in the hallway.

The scent of disinfectant invaded his nostrils, though the smell gets more diverse as he passes by different hospital rooms. He hears people screaming and crying at the room to his left and the other room dead silent, as if a corpse inhabited the room to his right.

Sweat starts trickling down his forehead when he counts the hospital room's numbers and realizes he's getting closer to yours. 'shit, shit, shit' his mind spiralling into madness, anxiety as he braces himself for what he's about to see.

His legs started to feel like jelly as his feet dragged him in front of your hospital room. A feeling of uncertainty, something he never felt again after breaking up with you.

Months ago when you two broke up he wondered if maybe you'd crawl back to him, like a child who ran away but comes home again the day after, but you didn't.

The door pulled open as he made his way inside, the lights were turned off but the sound of humming took him by surprise.

"I can hear you, you know."

Oh, that voice. That voice that could soothe him on days like these, your voice so gentle he thinks it's a sweet melody, a lullaby so sweet it would bring the devil down on his knees begging and repenting for forgiveness if he ever heard your voice.

The German boy doesn't come forward, only staring at your disheveled figure on the bed, waiting for death themselves to take you away from your misery.

"Have you eaten yet?"

Your fingers traced the lamp before finding the switch, making a flick sound as the soft illuminating glow lights up the room. You nod as you sit up, hugging yourself as you find comfort in the bandages that wrapped around your body.

"I'm sorry." It was the first time he's ever said this to you in ages, he wished he said this to you back then, he wishes that he was there for you.

Maybe he was the devil, cruel and mean, strong yet so weak. His knees buckled as he let out a choked sob, his fears that builded up couldn't hold in much longer as tears streamed down his face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kaiser says in between his sobs, the prideful man being broken down into a pathetic, crying mess.

Your fingers fiddled together in anxiety, you always had that stupid habit of yours when in distress. As much as you couldn't forgive Kaiser— he's too weak, too vulnerable for you to ignore.

Still Kaiser was shameless but not too shameless to go even a few inches closer to your bed, his mind racing— thinking that everything is all his fault as his heart rate goes up.

"Why should I? We're not even together." His chest tightens, if anyone could see him right now they'd think he's a fucking idiot— crying over the dying lover he left to rot in the hospital? Piece of shit.

"Yeah I know." He tries to calm himself down but he knows it's useless when you pick up on his uneasy behavior.

Kaiser wanted to ask you, 'let's get back together?' or maybe 'please forgive me' because he's a shameless prick but it's the first time he doesn't let his pride take over his senses.

He grieves right in front of you, your eyes never leaving his as his body language is signaling you, begging you to say something but it's better that you didn't.

He has all the time in the world to grieve for you after all, he's a shameless, selfish man… isn't he?

Notes: hell nah i'm sorry if there was so many grammar mistakes and stuff this isn't really proofread and i'm thinking of opening requests so like uh what do you guys think should i open requests

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡

OO6 : mall encounters

FILID・✦ prev : m.list : next

SYPNOSIS : [Name] doesn’t trust her dating choices… she’s gotten involved with several losers in a row, and she swore that she's taking a break from love. Oh shoot! Tartaglia jumps into the frame and publicly proclaims that he has a huge crush on the theater arts major! Can Childe change her mind or will [Name] forever be stuck in her "men are all idiots." phase?

NOTES : next chapter is gonna be written 🫡

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me omw to read angst fics after ranting to ppl on kokobot about how miserable my life is

to the moon & back — iii. girlfriend

alhaitham x gn!reader

prev. | masterlist. | next.

CW — reader being heartbroken, angst to comfort

"He likes her, he definitely likes her."

"No, he's doing this because he's just nice."

"He's literally going on a date with her today."

The inside of your mind was having an internal war arguing about whether or not Alhaitham did like Nilou back.  You really didn't have to worry about this and yet, you've been overthinking. Your thoughts were so intense that it disturbed you with your concentration in class.

Once class was over, you immediately met up with Kaveh to hang out in his dorm.

"I don't get why you're suddenly hanging outnwith me again. You usually hang out with Alhaitham all the time." He emphasises on the words whilst walking with you.

"Yeah... But he's busy going in a date right now."

Kaveh looks at you with concern. "I see. Well, would it make you feel better if—"

"What if we spy on them?" You cut Kaveh off, leaving him shocked.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I completely trust Nilou, of course. But what if something happens?"

"Y/N, you're going too far with this. The two are definitely just hanging out."

Something inside of you said it wasn't that. However, you decided to take Kaveh's word and stay with him.

So here you were now, cuddling with Kaveh as both of you were gossiping about people in school. The two of you were interrupted when you heard the door open revealing Alhaitham, smiling slightly.

"Why are you smiling? That's creepy." Kaveh asks.

"Nilou asked me if she can be my girlfriend."

Kaveh could feel your figure shaking from anxiety. "What did you do?” You ask.

"I agreed.

That was it. That was your breaking point and Kaveh knew it. "Congrats but we were in the middle of something before you barged in."

"Alright, my apologies. I'll go retire for the night."

And with that, he went inside his room. Tears slowly fell down your eyes as Kaveh rubs circles on your back. "There, there. Let's go to my room and talk there instead, alright?"

You nodded as you followed him.

Once you sat down, you let out the sadness you've been holding over the years. Fortunately, Kaveh's walls were soundproof.

"I-if I'm being *hic* honest, I've been i-in denial for y-years. I d-don't get why I like him! He's arrogant and *hic* cold!" Your sobs made Kaveh realise, you were really into Alhaitham. Just when he thought he had a chance, this new information comes to punch him in the gut.

"Oh, Y/N. I know it hurts. But you'll have to let him go. You're gonna do well without that crush on him. You have have us, your friends. You have me."

You cry harder as you buried your face into his chest. He had nothing more to say but to just be there for you.

Cause after all, that's what a good friend would do.

You, Alhaitham and Kaveh were playing in front of Alhaitham's grandmother's house.

The sun was high up in the sky and the wind was blowing through your figures.

"Hey Y/N, who would you wanna marry in the future?" Kaveh asks, showing you his toothy grin.

"Huh?"

"Idiot, that's a stupid question!"

"What does 'marry' mean?" You ask, making the two other children look at you in disbelief.

"When two adults stay together forever!"

"Ewww I don't want to stay forever with any of you!" You stick your tongue out as you ran away.

"Y/N! Wait for us!" Alhaitham and Kaveh chases you down until you halt on a hill.

"No! I don't want to get stuck with you both forever!"

"That's not what Kaveh meant!"

The three of you were bow sat on the trunk of the hill, breathing heavily from the distance you three ran.

"I'll just make it easier! Who do you like the most? That will just say who you want to marry."

You were clearly confused with the questions. However, you've thought of it for a second and you've come to the conclusion.

"I choose Alhaitham."

The two were shocked, of course.

"Him?! You are mean!"

"Kaveh, don't shout you'll make them cry." Alhaitham then turns towards you and said, “Go on, continue.”

“I choose you cause you make amazing pita pockets! I would choose Kaveh as well because he taught me how to draw the moon but I love pita pockets!”

Kaveh could still remember that memory from his childhood. It was just ironic how even now, you’d still choose Alhaitham over him.

He looks down to see you sleeping softly in his arms after crying for an hour straight. He felt horrible. As much as he liked you, it hurts seeing Alhaitham having the opposite feelings for you.

sypnosis ; as best friends, it was your duty to support alhaitham no matter what. however, when he starts dating your roommate, things change.

🖋 # list : @danseidol @annathea-annoona @imkaaayy @baelloraa @yuyudoesdrugs @makimakimi @synchronised-beat @dxstopiaa @mmm-alhaitham @luminescent-light @starryeyedkoko @rains-mae @itonashi @deathkat657 @akagism2 @theblueblub @menenene0 @burningstarfishdonut @xiaossocksniffer <3

©2023 iamfakeu, do not copy :)

bf texts with rin !

character/s: rin

warnings/notes: this is the first smau i'm posting so pls be nice >:(((

masterlist

likes and rbs are appreciated! requests for smaus are opened 🫶

you caught my favs crying:

: ̗̀➛ favs featured: denji, diluc, rin, and itadori

o(*≧▽≦)ツ darling’s note: i just wanted to hug all of them writing this. they deserve so much more, ugh... to comfort the misunderstood/undeserving character. hopefully the grammar is ok, i am also half asleep BUT i really wanted to post tonight <3

now playing: anniversary of an uninteresting event - deftones

denji from chainsaw man:

dean's note: this gif... so much pain

after being almost murdered a couple times, denji wanted to give up on finding someone. maybe it was for the best, sighing, walking by couples on the busy streets. slouching while strolling down the streets. with his luck, he just had to run into someone. bumping their hot drink all over him, denji was about to curse this stranger out. although the pain was minimal considering what he's experienced before.

"oh jesus, i’m so sorry!" denji looks up to see you, oh dear… maybe giving up wasn’t an option anymore. the way the sun hit your skin, your look of pure concern and care that he’s only ever seen little to none in his life. you reached out to him with napkins. "i should’ve seen you shit" second point was that you were taking responsibility. most people blamed him in some shape or form. it was his fault all the time.

"don’t worry about it, i should’ve watched where i was going." denji sighs. you lightly started to pat his chest with the napkin. getting as much as you could out of his shirt.

that’s how it started. a friendship that blossomed into romance. he had confessed first, denji was always so upfront with you. another thing you love about him. aki even likes you. believing you were a positive influence on the man. 

"denji, you’re early" you open the door. someone ripped and stained denji's usual uniform. "it’s not my blood. don’t worry," he said, chuckling lightly to hide his exhaustion. "are you okay?" you ask him, denji just walks towards you, letting his body fall into your grasp. "just tired," rubbing his back, the comfort bringing warmth to denji’s heart. 

"come on, i’ll get you a fresh change of clothes," you say as you kiss his forehead. he nods, walking to the shower. coming out of it, he sees you. standing there, laying down in the clean, warm blankets. signaling him to come to you on the couch. 

"you wanna talk about it?" you ask, brushing his knotted up hair. he relaxes in your touch. "devils shit, seeing people die, i don’t know if i want to think anymore," denji confessed, makima always left a sour taste on your tongue. the moment you saw her, you told yourself that she was not good news. 

"just tired of thinking about what i want, who i want to be, and what’s next," he deflates in your arms. "i’m sorry, bub," you say, kissing his forehead. "i love you, and if you ever need anything, i’ll be happy to help."

love?

"you love me?" denji turns his body. you widen your eyes. "i said the l word, didn’t i?" you didn’t hear anything till you saw him covering his eyes. sobbing into his forearm. "denji? i’m so sorry i-" 

"you mean it?" denji’s red eyes looked into yours. smiling, embracing his cheeks. "i put it on my life," you say softly as you kiss his lips. his tears rolling down his face. "i love you too. i love you so fucking much," he was happy… for the first time, he felt this was real. something in his life was real and his own.

diluc from genshin impact:

dean's note : i am seriously running out of diluc gifs

diluc and you weren’t exactly close. you two worked well together, and that was the only reason you two got assigned mission after mission together. his rough hands grip the sword while you cover his back. you two shared rooms at motels; the silence between the two. you turned your body, letting yourself fall into a deep slumber. 

"please…don’t!" you open your eyes, getting up, thinking someone was intruding the two of you. the room was clear, nothing was touched. another yell came from the left side of the room. noticing it was diluc causing the noise.

"don’t! i promise i’ll be stronger!" he half yells and half mumbles it. lashing around his bed. you get up, pressing your weight on his arms. holding him still. you say his name, it wasn’t working. whimpers of fear fill your ears. guilt builds up in your stomach, feeling hopeless about stopping this nightmare from happening. "diluc!" you yell his name. he opens his eyes, overpowering you. almost throwing you across the room. 

"what? what happened?" he looks around, his eyes stung and wet liquid fell down his cheeks. was he crying? "did someone attack us?" diluc stood up, looking for his claymore. 

"no. we are fine; you just had a nightmare, you started crying" you hunched over, holding your stomach. "oh. i didn’t mean to throw you across the room. " diluc walks up to you, lifting your shirt. a new bruise was forming on your stomach. "don’t worry about it. how are you?" you ask him, sitting back on your bed. 

"just fine. i don’t know what came over me," diluc’s adrenaline died. letting his thoughts slow down and realize what had just happened. the nightmare was still vivid in his mind. diluc sees you doing something with a candle. "why are you lighting a candle?" diluc sits up, glaring at your shadowed figure. "nightlight, just thought it would be comforting," you turn to lie on your back. "there’s no need. i am not an infant," diluc turns his body toward you. 

"well then. it’s for me," you lied, letting diluc grumble a little before accepting the new foreign light in the room. closing your eyes, you heard diluc shuffle.. and then move his sheets. "you’re going to keep me up if you keep moving like that," you snicker, diluc stopping. 

"my apologies, i just can’t rest easy," he whispers. you shift over in your bed. "you want to sleep in mine?" you ask. afraid of either getting hit by his pyro or getting the silent treatment. 

"i shouldn’t. it’s fine" you get up. he shouldn’t? he wanted to? you pat the empty side of your bed. "come on, don’t worry, i won’t bite," diluc hesitates but gets up. grabbing his pillow and blanket. 

"thank you, i apologize again," diluc undoes his hair tie, his fiery red hair invading your side of the pillow. he takes a deep breath, thankful for the small nightlight in the corner of his vision. 

"don’t worry about it. it’s what partners are for."

rin from bluelock:

dean's note: quickly learned all my friends hate rin 💀😒 they just don't GET HIM LIKE I DO!

"fucking leave then! huh is that what you want to hear?!" rin tells you. fighting over small things. who did the dishes, who didn’t take out the trash, and things not worth this much energy. you stood in front of him. rin was always a hard person to love. he told you every night that you were free to go. leave him, like everyone else in his life. 

every yelling match was one-sided. you were so fucking patient with him. standing in front of him while he hashed it out on you. the instant regret washed over his face when he was done. "are you ready to talk?" you ask, holding his hand. rin nods, pressing his head into your chest. 

"i’m a dickhead," rin says, turning his back to you, the soft blankets wrapped around him. the glass of water you filled every night for him. the cold aura around him, you press a kiss on his neck. he stiffens but quickly relaxes into your touch. "what do you see in me?" rin whispers, hoping that you didn’t hear it. your hand softly holds his. hands of his wrapped perfectly in yours. 

"what do i see that you can’t?" you press another kiss on his back. rin shakes his head, gripping the blanket. "i’m just a tool, a fucking idiot," he says, starting to genuinely shake, twisting himself into a state of panic. you wrap your arms around him. pressing his back to your chest. 

"you feel that?" you ask, the faint heartbeat of yours. rin nods. "this heart is yours and only yours," rin says, falling to sobbing in your arms, the shock written on your face. hearing the man’s voice crack, you pat his head. soft sobs into the blanket continue to fill the room. 

it scared rin to allow someone to be close to him, even to love him. when you love someone, you show them your flaws, your perfections, and your most vulnerable moments. having one person know that about him terrified him. what would you do when you found out more about him? 

how could someone love him? 

"i love you rin," you breathe in the crook of his neck, rin cries, nodding his head. finally he agreed to your love, wanting himself to let go and allowing you to take care of him. 

"i'm scared," rin whispers. how much could love control him? would he fall in love with you so deeply that you would be over soccer? what is rin if not a soccer player?

rin feels your legs start to tangle in his. your soft voice in his ear. maybe you were worth so much more. rin sighed in your arms. rin felt for the first time he deserved something good in his life. something that wasn’t revenge.

“i’ll be there every step of the way rin” you press a kiss on his forehead.

"thank you," his gratitude shined for the first time. kissing your lips first, while you wipe his tears away. 

itadori from jujustu kaisen:

dean's note: SPOILERS for shibuya incident

"what have i done?" itadori is hunched over. vomiting what felt like his guts. he looks up to see you kneeling down. caressing his back, "yuji?" you looked at him with so much care. how could you look at him with so much love? he was a monster that caused so much misfortune to anyone near him. 

"you’re alive?" itadori’s lips quiver. you nod and smile. "yeah, i managed to escape the blast," rubbing his back. itadori sighs. you grabbed him, helping him up. "come on, looking at that won’t make you feel better," you whisper. turning around from the enormous crater in the city. 

"how do you keep loving me? i’m just a murderer," itadori looks down, he slouches his back like a wet dog in the rain. "i love you because you’re you. i’ll share your sins with you, yuji. i’ll be your partner in all this shit," you grip his shoulder. your eyes didn’t lie, full of love you still had when you first started dating the man. 

"i’ll be as guilty as you are. i’ll carry your sins alongside me" you say, gripping his hand. itadori looks up at you. gripping your shirt, pressing his head into your chest. "you shouldn’t have to do that, you deserve-"

"i deserve you." you raise his head. squishing his cheeks, the scars on his face, the marks of sukuna that remind you that it would only get harder from this point. that life wouldn’t be simple anymore, like you two hoped. "i love you, yuji," you say, tearing up. seeing your loved one in so much pain, both physically and mentally, only made you want to run away with him. to hide him from the cruelty of the world. the need to protect him. 

"i love you too," itadori sobs into your chest. you held him closer, allowing him to feel vulnerable around you. "let it out, baby.. i’m here, don’t worry. you won’t lose me," you whisper, itadori’s loud cries fill your ears. a mix of despair and love for you. 

"i’m so sorry. please don’t leave me," itadori yells, his body shaking in your grasp. "i didn’t mean to be a burden, i’m sorry." he can barely talk, just pleading and begging for forgiveness from you and everyone around him. 

"shh. breathe yuji. one in one out.. one in one out" you never imagined you would be standing in an empty alleyway with him. having him fall apart in your arms, the busy streets suddenly died to complete silence. it was eerie, but with Itadori, you felt safe. you felt at home.

JEALOUS MAO ?!? I CAN SEE MAO LIKING YN TBH ..

¡! ❝ REDAMANCY .. ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [10] is it natural? ❞ | m. list | prev. | next

natsume sakasaki x reader smau

warning(s) : cussing, affectionate bullying, gingers, the word “sexy” used one (1) time, kaoru hakaze is a menace, koga jumps out a window

╰┈➤ synopsis  ❝after yumenosaki academy resident magician and eccentric sakasaki natsume asks you to “go out with him”, you immediately shut him down. so why is he dedicating a song to you at a switch concert? and why are people whispering about you being the cutest couple?❞

ੈ✩₊˚TAGLIST : @miihai @nattchu @ikasaeki @zephestia @1072v @drihihihi  @homonatsume @lialibrary  @hugs4shizu@mikctp@emikoisdead  @ara-arashi@disa-ster  @tjjjrsj @solemn-soliloquy  @bxkugzo // ask/comment to be added/removed! (if you’re in bold i can’t tag you)

Think? More like...

pairing ➤ Tsukinaga Leo x gn!s/o

genre ➤ fluff + angst with comfort

tw ➤ brief mention of 'checkmate' story

word count ➤ 431

a/n before reading: just a self-indulgent fic

Tsukinaga Leo thinks that he's in love with you.

.

Maybe it was the way you would help him come up with new song ideas.

The two of you would be sitting on the floor of an empty classroom, waiting for any inspiration to strike. Sometimes, even the King himself can't come up with any ideas but that wasn't a problem because that's when you come in! Leo can't help but admire the way you could come up with many ideas and even thought about passing his title down to you. One thing that he would never tell you is that most of the songs that he composes are about you. Having you around him influenced him into writing songs about wanting to protect what's important to him - you.

Or maybe it was the way you were the only one who could keep up with his eccentric and childish personality.

You would allow him to latch himself onto you whenever he saw you, softly laughing to yourself while you tried to pry him off you. Of course, that never worked but you didn't seem to mind. Instead, you would remain completely still, listening to him ramble on and on about his day or the new song ideas he has, patiently waiting until he finally felt satisfied.

Or maybe it was the way you were always by his side, especially when he was at his lowest. He could never forget the time you visited him every day and managed to get him to start taking care of himself.

"How are you feeling Leo?"

No answer.

You sighed. "I understand if you're not willing to talk to me but just remember that you're important to me."

No answer.

"I'll get going now," you said softly. "Take care of yourself, alright?"

Wait. Leo wanted you to stay. He didn't want you to leave him.

He grabbed your hand before you could get up from the floor. Finally, he raised his head to look at you.

"Don't leave me, please…" he sobbed, eyes brimming with tears. He held onto your hand even harder, as if you would disappear if he ever let go.

Leo felt your other hand caress his cheek and allowed himself to relax.

"I'll always be at your side, no matter what."

Upon hearing your words, he allowed himself to let all his pain out, knowing that you would make him feel better later.

Ever since that day, Leo felt grateful to have you in his life and can't imagine one without you.

.

Yeah, he's definitely in love with you.

ʸᵒᵘⁿᵍᵉˢᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿˡʸ ⁱᵗᵒˢʰⁱ ˢⁱˢᵗᵉʳ !!

being the youngest itoshi sibling includes...

having to deal with the constant conflict between your two brothers. you love them both and they love you too, but sometimes it's impossible to see how they love you because of how much they are caught up in football. especially when rin decides to go after sae and make it his goal to defeat him.

crying yourself to sleep to cope with the fact that your brothers are constantly ignoring you for football. it's even harder after rin leaves for blue lock, and sae is still in italy. it gets to the point you're not sure if they're your brothers or strangers because of how sudden the disconnection was.

trying to keep in touch with both of them but sae only ever reads you on read, and rin got his phone taken away for the blue lock project, so you're left alone.

you remind yourself that these were the people who used to give you piggyback rides on demand, shared their snacks with you, treated whatever injuries you had from running around, fended off bullies for you, and were as great as older brothers could be. hell, you've forgotten when things went wrong.

standing at the doorway shocked when rin comes home for the two week break he received from blue lock. of course, you went to his game against sae and cheered both of them on from the stands, but you didn't do anything to garner their attention. you were scared of them more or less. and now, seeing rin an arms distance away from you struck fear into your veins that you couldn't utter a word to him.

you forgot what type of person he is, especially after the change he went through when sae left for good. and the realization hurt you a lot.

but you didn't dare to cry in front of him. he might get annoyed by your sudden emotional attitude and leave again, so you left him at the doorway and went to your room to cry your heart out.

but you didn't know that rin was waiting for your eyes to light up like fireworks and pamper him with hugs and questions of his time in blue lock. however, all he got was you tearing up and leaving him at the door without a single word.

it's then he realizes that he changed too much after what happened between him and sae that you weren't sure who he was. even when he stood in front of your room door and hearing you cry your eyes out, he couldn't do anything because he didn't have the right to comfort you after leaving you alone.

the loneliness you had to bear was too cruel for you, rin thought, but he couldn't act upon it because what right did he have to suddenly act like a proper older brother when he had all the time in the world before to prevent you from being scared of him. you're only eleven-years-old, so what could he expect from you except this?

sae is notified of this development when rin miraculously texts him and says, "y/n's scared of us."

let me tell you that this man swore he felt his heart fall out of ass after seeing that. it doesn't matter if he was in the middle of practice, a game, or just chillin at his hotel room, his blood will turn cold.

he will also book the quickest flight to japan as soon as he is available too, so he could talk to rin face to face about it.

of course, they're still on horribly bad terms with each other, but that's not the problem because you're more valuable than some rivalry.

when rin tells sae how you reacted upon seeing him at home, sae literally wants to pull his hair out for not bothering to text you at least hi or good morning or something to let you know that he still cared and wanted to let you know that he was still alive.

and the whole thing eats both of them alive because they don't know how to apologize for shit. they want to, they really do, but they can't think of anything to help you forgive them for treating you like you didn't exist.

sae knows that he's the last person on earth you should forgive, but he can't help but hope that you're still the kindhearted little sister you were and have mercy on his heart. (ironic because he didn't have any of yours.)

rin shares the same thought, but doesn't have as much hope because he's been living in the same house as you up until the blue lock project. he thinks that he doesn't deserve your forgiveness and wouldn't even blame you if you start hating him for everything.

however, whether or not you choose to forgive them, they'll do their best to be considerate of you. sae promises himself that he'll answer all your texts, memes, or whatever you send him with at least an emoji, and rin determines himself to spend some time with you before he had to go again.

former nicknames for sae: nii-san, sae-sae, sae-nii, my hero, and best friend.

former nicknames for rin: nii-chan, rinnie, rin rin, my savior, and bestie.