OMGGTR THERE R SO MANY ENSTARS SMAUS NOW,,, BACK WHEN I WAS QUITE NEW TO THE ENSTARS FANDOM THERE'S THIS

the first thing you say when kaiser picks up your call is, “were you asleep?”

your clock currently reads 2:03 a.m., but with the blinds of your window fully shut, you’re barely able to see your hands in the glow of the digital surface. it’s been a long time since you last had trouble sleeping but you’ve been tossing and turning for hours now, lying on your back and staring at the ceiling, willing the sun to rise.

“uh… no,” kaiser says, voice still groggy. the yawn that escapes into the receiver tells you otherwise though (and your heart softens at the fact that he picked up your call regardless). “what’s wrong, baby?”

“hm, nothing. i just can’t sleep.”

“nightmare?”

“yeah, i dreamt of you.”

“you’re so mean.”

“i’m kidding,” you giggle, turning to your side, imagining him laying right next to you. “i haven’t been able to sleep at all.”

kaiser sighs, his voice then drowned out by some sort of rustling on his end before it’s quiet again. “why don’t you imagine your darling boyfriend holding you close in bed?”

kaiser is criminally good at reading your thoughts actually, but you’ve never once expressed it to keep from fueling his ever-growing ego. letting him know too often would certainly give him an unneeded confidence boost and you’d be the one to suffer the consequences the most—but you figure you can let it slip this one time.

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I LOVE THIS HELLO???????

woa if u r still takin requests maybe nazuna or rei :o?

nazunyan for you (^_−)☆ ty for the request!!

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄

❤︎ — PAIRING: itoshi rin x reader

❤︎ — PROMPT: "wait, don't go, please." requested by ☕️ anon

❤︎ — CW: fluff, hurt/comfort, moody + touch-starved rin

itoshi rin has bad days.

beneath his calm, collected, rational exterior, is a human. someone who feels just as deeply as those around him. although, unlike many of those people, rin isn't so good at expressing said feelings. he bottles them up, fights his battles alone and in silence.

you've noticed that much as long as you've been with him.

which is why you aren't entirely surprised when the slam of a door sounds throughout your apartment—loud enough that you can hear it from your bedroom all the way down the hall. his footsteps are heavy with his approach and you set your phone aside to give him your full attention.

rin nudges the door open with his shoulder, the opposite hand running through his hair in irritation. he drops his duffel bag by the dresser and it hits the floor with a thud as he pulls open the drawers in search of some loungewear. you don't miss the way he fails to greet you as usual, with a kiss on your temple and inquiries about your day.

"hey," you start, watching the man stack a folded pair of joggers on the surface, "welcome home." a beat of silence passes, and then more, enough to tell that you won't be getting any response from him.

"rough day?" you probe, hoping the question will elicit a reply.

and it does, just not the one you're looking for. "i'm getting in the shower," rin tells you, never turning to face you. instead, he steps into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

you sigh at his blatant resistance to talk things through with you, but you're not angry—far from it, actually. you know this routine. he shuts down in an attempt not to take his frustrations out on you and disappears until the stress he's under begins to seep away.

there's no telling how long he'll spend beneath the stream of steaming water but you want to be ready for him when he gets back.

on the other side of the door, in the room where the mirror begins to fog up and the water pelts the tiles, rin stands unmoving under the shower head. an overwhelming number of thoughts are crowding his skull—thoughts of his less-than-ideal performance during today’s practice, thoughts of his stagnant progress, thoughts of inferiority. but most of all, thoughts about how the aftermath of his shitty day was taken out on you are ruthlessly nagging at him.

he shouldn't have done that. you've always told him that you're on his team, by his side, here to help the best you can. and he knows it's true but on days like these, it's hard for him to believe that he can rely on anyone but himself.

until he can convince himself that he deserves any consolation, relief, sympathy from you, rin scrubs away at his skin, soapy blobs running down his body and into the drain.

when he opens the door, rin’s heart feels lighter in his chest upon seeing that you haven’t left. you must have gotten up for a moment though because sitting on the mattress with you is the hair dryer. there's a bowl of fruit on your bedside table, too. the motion at the en suite catches your attention, leading you to drag your gaze up from your phone in favor of looking at rin. you offer him a small smile as you set the device on the surface to the left of you.

“want me to dry your hair?” you reach forward to grab the dryer, waving the appliance to emphasize your question. there's no sign of resentment or bitterness in your voice—it's just as easygoing as it had been when you greeted him.

rin swallows and nods. "sure."

"sit," you instruct him with a finger pointing to the ottoman at the foot of your bed. he wordlessly follows your command, turning around to take a seat on the furniture while your knees dig into the mattress to meet him there.

the hair dryer whooshes to life in your hand, a rush of warm air hitting the back of rin's head and sending damp strands of dark green hair forward. that and the feel of your fingers gently shaking out and separating the strands calms rin to his core. it's nearly enough to make him forget about the unfavorable happenings of his day.

all too soon the sensation is gone and you're sitting back on your calves.

"all done," you tell rin. "get comfortable. i'll put this away."

you sneak off to return the blow dryer to its rightful place in the bathroom and quickly wash your hands before joining rin back in your bedroom. spotting rin resting against the pillows, you round the bed and perch yourself beside him, patting your lap in a silent gesture for him to lay his head there.

the side of rin's face presses against your thighs in the new, relaxing position. the weight of his head is comforting and enough to tell you that the shower helped clear the fog of frustration from his mind. still, you don't want to pressure him into talking about something he doesn't want to share so, instead, you grab the porcelain bowl from your table and pluck an apple slice from the dish. you hold it to rin's lips, coaxing him to take a bite.

he does, a small nibble at first before his incisors break off bigger chunks. you feed him, stealing pieces of the sliced fruit here and there while your other hand runs through the silky strands of hair splayed out on your lap. it keeps up this way until the bowl is empty.

you make a move to get up and rinse the dish out but you don't make it far.

"wait, don't go." rin speaks, his hand shooting out to stop yours from pulling away. his fingers loosen around your wrist but he doesn't let you go entirely, as if he's afraid that you slink away if he does. the next thing he says is much quieter, just above a whisper. "please."

any plan you have to leave the bed dissipates with his words. you fall back into the softness of the pillows behind you, fingernails grazing the nape of rin's neck. teal eyes framed by thick lashes stare up at you. behind them, you're almost sure there's a glint of desperation. you nod. "i won't."

rin takes a moment to collect his thoughts, to formulate the right words.

"i'm sorry," he starts. it comes out slowly, not because he's reluctant to say so but because he wants to be sure you hear him. "for being short with you. i wasn't my best at practice and i made it your problem. i shouldn't have and i'm sorry."

he doesn't look away from you once during his admission, blue-green irises boring into you.

you smile and squish rin's cheeks together, causing his lips to poke out in a pout. your gesture may be silly, but you really do appreciate him saying sorry. "apology accepted. just remember, i'm always on your side. always."

he pulls your hand away and kisses your palm. "i know. and... thank you."

thanks for reading! comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

☆彡 蓮巳敬人誕生祭 - Keito Hasumi birthday event

Yes I am going as far as to host a tiny event for him I know this will get no interaction whatsoever but please let me have my fun ｡･ﾟ･(ﾉД`)･ﾟ･｡ This is an interaction event with Keito ! Please ask or tell him anything :3 Since it’s almost his birthday,, (you can also scold him /hj)

Rules

The basics ! No nsfw or inappropriate questions -w- also please start your ask with a lotus emoji 🪷 to initiate the ask is for this event ! You may send in multiple asks a day just make sure you don’t spam heehe. Your ask will be answered by Keito just to be clear ^_^

→ Example of ask : 🪷 (what you’d like to say to keito !)

End of interaction event : 7th September 00:00 JST !

-;. bachira meguru as your boyfriend!

; fluff headcanons, wc: 1.3k ; warnings: a lil hurt/comfort but not much! ; author's notes: i love u bachira fr + lmk who u want to see hcs with next!

‣ bachira meguru is OBSESSED with you ‣ from the moment he met you, he knew he wanted to be close to you ‣ so he made it happen! ‣ he spoke to you as often as he could, whether it be texting or calling or in person ‣ he is infatuated with everything you do fr ‣ like, u could hiccup on a call, and bachira will be giggling and kicking his feet like 'teehee my s/o hiccupped' ‣ he gets SO GIGGLY when u do anything like ‣ if you guys are on a walk and u purposefully bump his shoulder he's fr twirling his hair and giggling like a schoolgirl ‣ his love language is 100000% physical touch ‣ and he's not shy about it, not even at the start of your relationship ‣ he's always got to be close to you

‣ holding hands & swingin them while you walk kinda thing ‣ he's into playful, fleeting touches ‣ the type to randomly pepper u with kisses ‣ he also bites???? like not in a hostile or sexual way it just ‣ he likes u sm so he bites u ‣ just.. chomp! every now and then ‣ he loves loves loves seeing you ‣ when he does he calls your name and literally SPRINTS his ass out to wherever you are and gives u the biggest hug ever <3

you jump at the sound of a familiar voice calling out your name. whipping around, you see a blur of black and yellow hair hurtling toward you at the speed of light.

before you know it, you're pulled into a tight hug, stumbling back a few paces as you laugh into bachira's hair. you wrap your arms around his head like you're trying to keep him there, grinning into the crook of your neck.

when he finally pulls away, arms still trailing on your waist. his eyes glitter with affection as they look into yours. "i missed you."

you smile. "you saw me yesterday."

bachira shoots you another starry smile and shrugs animatedly: "felt like sooo much longer without you, y'know!"

your heart flutters in your chest and you press your face into his collarbone briefly, before you pull away. his hand finds its place in your own- it fits like it was made for you.

"so," he says, "what are we doing today?"

"ice cream on the pier?"

"you know me so well!"

‣ and for dates: bachira isn't big on casual dates ‣ however, there's this ice cream shop that you're both regulars at! ‣ at least once a week, usually more, in the evenings the two of you meet to grab something sweet and just chill ‣ the two of you sit with your feet swinging off the edge above the water ‣ you each have a new flavor because the place has a rotating menu- you take turns chattering & letting each other try spoonfuls of your ice cream ‣ because of the nature of blue lock & his life path, he's busier than he'd like to be ‣ but trust that he is ALWAYSSSS messaging you ‣ man never leaves u alone ‣ like actually ‣ he ABUSES the 'notify anyway' option when you're on do not disturb ‣ calls you at stupid late hours of night just to prattle on about some stuff that doesn't matter ‣ he's a talker- he loves loves loves speaking with you ‣ his favorite thing about talking to you specifically is that you really seem to listen ‣ his friends nod their heads and play along but they don't get it ‣ you do, and you care- that's one of many things he loves about you ‣ bachira doesn't tell you he loves you often, even though he does ‣ he's got some deep-seated issues highkey LMFAO ‣ you always know he does, though ! it shines through in his little actions and the phrases of adoration he tells you ‣ all his friends/teammates know how much he loves you too ‣ like i said he is OBSESSED ‣ and he lets everyone know ‣ you send him a picture of you doing the most mundane thing? he's shoving his phone in isagi's face saying 'look how cute they are! look! now! here! you're not looking!' ‣ EVERYYYYONEEE is sick of him ‣ 'yes bachira we get it' ‣ but he KEEPS doing it ‣ (his friends are only mildly annoyed- they know how happy u make him so they don't care too much :,) ) ‣ when you're upset: bachira isn't much help ‣ he doesn't really know what to do with your feelings and he's not sure how to help ‣ he really, really wants to but he's at a loss ‣ so he just sits next to you and lets you cling on to him if that's what you want ‣ he'd stay there for as long as you want him, and if it helps, he'll talk to you about inane things that don't matter ‣ he'll talk about the weather and his games today, about isagi and rin's antics, about how dolphins are really good animals, anything that might take your mind off it ‣ he is! perfect! ‣ actually i take it back because ‣ if we're talking domesticity: this man is the best/worst roommate you'll have ‣ does the dishes only if you nag ‣ walks around (almost) naked because he doesn't really care LMFAO ‣ and worst of all he sticks to you like GLUE

"meguru," you scold, "we've gotta go. we're gonna be late."

"but you have to change," he wheedles, arms tethered around your neck as he lets his weight drop to the floor, pulling you down with him.

"and why is that a problem?"

"if you change, then you won't want to come back to bed!"

"yeah. that's the point."

"5 more minutes?" you're basically dragging him along the floor like a mop at this point. you'd kick him if you weren't in love with him.

"bachira meguru." you kick him anyways. he sprawls across the floors like a puddle of water, glaring up at you.

"fine," he sighs, pushing himself up, "fine, fine, fine!"

you extend a hand to pull him up. "c'mon, it'd be rude to be late to kunigami's birthday dinner."

he takes your hand, but tugs sharply- you tumble down onto the bedroom floor on top of him with a huff of air rushing out of your lungs.

"meguru!" he laughs and snakes an arm around you.

"i'm sure kunigami won't mind!"

‣ don't even get me STARTEDDDD on how this guy sleeps. ‣ he fr takes the WHOLE BED ‣ his arms are splayed out in every way possible, his legs too- absolutely starfished as far as he can go ‣ and he's a mfing blanket hog too. ‣ this piece of GARBAGE ‣ you'll have to get your own, but only pull it out once he's asleep- otherwise, he'll take that too ‣ big on c*ddling with you though ‣ he's gotta be touching you in SOME way ‣ typically one of you sleeps with your head on the other's chest, and you swap between positions every so often ‣ he likes it when you mess with his hair <3 ‣ try to put it in braids or pigtails and he'll fall in love ‣ will request you do that regularly LMFAO ‣ this becomes a kind of ritual- on quiet mornings, you'll sit on the edge of your shared bed and he'll be right below you ‣ you brush through his hair and deftly put little braids into it, before sweeping it into whatever style he decides ‣ it's the quiet mornings he shares with you that his love really shines thru- because he can talk to anyone, but it takes a lot of trust for him to let his guard down and be quiet ‣ anyways <3 bachira meguru u are the love of my life!

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣

rainy days with Trickstar heacannons (GN reader)

cws: none

notes: it has been raining a lot. so why not make some hcs??? (i hope someone noticed an NCT lyric as the title)

𝙃𝙤𝙠𝙪𝙩𝙤 𝙃𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙠𝙖

i feel like he’d stare at the sky for a while before realizing that it rained lol

but when it finally started sprinkling, he would pull you by the wrist to go find shelter quickly

you guys settled at a small cafe, ordered some drinks and just chatted while watching the rainfall

if you started to feel cold, he’d give you his jacket cause he’s such a gentleman <3

hokuto would definitely scold you if you decided to go out and play in the rain because bro did NOT want you sick

even if you getting sick meant that he could spend more time with you…

but in case he foresaw that it would rain, you two would just be walking under an umbrella while you hold onto his arm

then suddenly you guys are walking in slow-mo while music starts to play

just like a k drama fr

kidding on that last part… hehe

𝙎𝙪𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙪 𝘼𝙠𝙚𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙝𝙞

you two would definitely play in the rain… it’ll be his idea

subaru would get really excited when it rains too! he likes to look at the pathways and roads that became shiny and glossy from the rain

he’d also try to catch some raindrops on his hands as well

you guys would probably run to the nearest playground and just hang out on the swings while you watch it rain

and maybe even chase each other as well it would be super duper fun

if you didn’t feel like playing out in the rain, he’d probably bring you to a small place with shelter to just admire the precipitation and well… to just talk about idol work and stuff

needless to say, even if you did play in the rain, both of you would definitely get sick and just cuddle and nap to pass time

it was both of your guys’ fault…

he initiated and you agreed

(worth it)

𝙈𝙖𝙤 𝙄𝙨𝙖𝙧𝙖

another guy who would be distracted to realize that it was raining

just when it started POURING

mao would take off his jacket and cover both you and himself with it while just running to his house or a nearby shop

but let’s say you two reached his house

both you and mao would be totally drenched, poor you having no clothes to change into

so… he’d hesitantly offer you some of his own clothes for you to get into while he gives you a hair dryer to blow your hair

mao would also offer you snacks to eat while you both just watch TV or the downpour that caused you to get stuck here with him

if it’s getting late and you didn’t want to go back, there is a chance that he’d let you stay for the night! (my heart can’t take this)

in conclusion, rainy days with mao can be really fun

you two were just stuck to each other for a whole day basically

𝙈𝙖𝙠𝙤𝙩𝙤 𝙔𝙪𝙪𝙠𝙞

makoto would know if it would rain or not

bro always checks the weather before leaving the house istg

if theres more than a fifty percent chance of raining, makoto would bring his umbrella juussttt in case

then the sky started raining 💀

he opened the umbrella quickly while you two continued to walk to your destination where makoto just hold you tight with one arm while holding the umbrella in the other <3

it would be so romantic ngl

(another k drama moment)

once you get to your stop, you two would just carry on with your day as normal while he just wipes his glasses with his shirt because I KNOW there would be some droplets on water that got on the lenses

you’d just admire the no-glasses makoto in front of you

he’d be so confused why you’d just be staring at him lol

10/10 experience i love him

Hiiii! i love ur writings and I've decided to send in a request if you don't mind, can you do one with Sae finding out that his s/o was sent to the hospital because their fever got worse?

Feel free to ignore this request if you want to tho,, Thank you and have a nice day!!

𝐈𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬~

♡ 1.4k words

♡ gn! Reader X Sae Itoshi

♡ Warnings: sickness, hospital, nickname (love)

♡ Summary: Sae is abroad, when he receives a call that your fever has landed you in the hospital 

This was probably the worst time possible to catch the flu, your boyfriend, Itoshi Sae, is thousands of kilometers away, back in Spain for a football match while you're barely able to move with the constant ache in your joints. 

Everything hurts, your nose is clogged, making it almost impossible to take proper breaths, and your body is constantly changing in-between feeling scalding hot and ice-cold. Your fever had been steadily rising throughout the day, and the medicine you took in the morning doesn't seem to be helping at all. You'd do anything to be in Sae's embrace right now, to be comforted by him, to be held by him. 

But you know how he is, focused on becoming the player in the world and probably training non-stop to prepare for the upcoming match. You don't want to call Sae and distract him from his tight schedule, maybe even risking him coming back and skipping the match. You don't want to be a bother to Sae, you don't want to burden him. 

Once evening arrives everything seems to worsen, you suddenly don't even have enough energy to get out of bed anymore, sweating profusely while panicking about what's happening to you. You're scared. 

"You should've called me sooner, you don't look well y/n" your friend says as she sits down on the edge of your bed, the back of her hand carefully placed against your hot forehead. "Your fever is worrying me."

"I'm sorry... I didn't want to bother you..." You mutter quietly, voice hoarse. 

"I'm guessing Sae doesn't know anything about this either." You shake your head in response, the action causing your neck to ache. Your friend huffs, "Y/N, I know you don't want to distract him while he's abroad and training, but I bet he would be pretty upset if he knew that you're keeping the fact you're sick from him." 

You frown, hands playing with the hem of your fluffy comforter. "I just know he's really busy and also kinda stressed right now, I don't wanna add to that with my issues..." 

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sure he wouldn't mind it. But let's focus on getting you back to health for now." Lovingly, she combs a hand through your sweaty hair, and unconsciously you lean into the loving touch you've been longing for since waking up and feeling under the weather. 

"Your temperature is at 40°, we need to get you to a doctor, like immediately."

"I'm fine, besides all doctor's offices are closed now, don't worry about it, I'll just sleep it off." You say with a little shake of your hand, but it's even an immense struggle to lift your arm. 

"You're burning up and can barely breathe, please don't be ridiculous." You can see the worry in her eyes. "I'm driving you to the hospital. No arguing, can you get up?" Of course not, she realizes that the question is redundant, and opts for just carrying you. All of your protests and feeble attempts to reassure her that you're fine fall on deaf ears as you both sit in your friend's car.

You don't remember much of what happened after arriving at the hospital, exhausted and mind in a haze, being examined by doctors, hooked up to monitors and having to stay the night, being placed in a room that's so white it makes your eyes burn, that's all you remember before falling into a deep slumber.

Sae is beyond exhausted when he finally sets foot into the hospital room, a steady rhythm of beeps greets him and for a moment he just stares at your unconscious figure lying in the white hospital bed before he makes his way over to the plastic chair right next to it. Quietly he groans, stretching out his tired limbs, he's been cramped up in a plane seat for hours, taking the quickest flight home he could find, driven by worry, being able to think about nothing but how you're doing. 

Carefully he takes your hand in his, it's much colder than usual, he notes. Gently, his other hand caresses your cheek, taking in your features, looking so peaceful in your sleep. Worry swirls in Sae's stomach, sure he's seen you sick before in your years of being in a relationship, but never has it landed you in the hospital. And on top of that, he knows that you never admit how bad you're actually feeling, always reassuring him that the pain isn't too bad when you injured yourself and never wanting to bother him with your worries and problems. Sure, Sae has a lot on his plate, but it's never too much to not have time to care about you anymore, Sae will always make time for you. 

You groan quietly, eyes blinking open, temporarily blinded by the bright white lights. A warm hand is tightly holding onto yours, and you can tell just by the feel of the calloused thumb brushing against the back of your hand who it belongs to. 

"Sae?" Your vision's still blurry, but you don't need to see, to know that it's your boyfriend who's sitting right next to you. 

"Hey love." He says softly, thumb brushing against your cheek, face feeling much cooler compared to a few hours ago. 

"Are you real?"

Sae snorts silently, "Yeah, I am." 

The sleepy haze is completely gone now, mind solely focused on the fact that he should not be here with you right now. He should be thousands of kilometers away to prepare for his match. "B-but you're supposed to be in Spain!" You exclaim, while trying to sit up. 

Gently, Sae pushes you back onto the pillow, "You shouldn't strain your body, don't waste your energy on this." You frown in response, the way your eyebrows knit together oh so cute in Sae's opinion. "I came back as soon as Ayaka called and told me she brought you to the hospital. I was worried like crazy and took the first flight home and immediately came here." 

Now that he's saying it, you notice how tired Sae looks, eye bags very apparent and hair a bit disheveled. He's still wearing his black sweatpants, and pullover from practice, not having taken the time to change. 

"I'm so sorry, Sae..." You mutter, now too ashamed to meet his emerald eyes. 

"No, don't be. I'm not gonna let you feel guilty about this." 

"But you're going to miss the match." You protest, and he shakes his head, letting out a sigh. 

"So what, you're more important! One match won't make or break my career, besides, I wouldn't have been able to focus on soccer anyway while knowing you're in the hospital." 

"That's why I didn't want you to know, so you don't get distracted." 

Sae exhales loudly, "Don't say that, you're not a distraction...well maybe, but in a good way, but that's beside the point." You can tell that Sae's struggling to convey his emotions, your thumb softly stroking his as reassurance to keep going. "You're incredibly important to me, so I don't care about flying back here at the ass crack of dawn, missing the game or not getting any sleep. I just wish you would've told me. I know you would be pretty upset if I would do the same. You're not burdening me, because I love you, and when I tell you, I was worried out of my mind. Now move over." 

Sae takes off his shoes and then lies down next to you, pulling you against his side, careful with the cables and iv connecting to you. Your head rests on his toned chest, his arm holding you close to his body, Sae's comforting warmth engulfing you. 

"I'm really glad you're here, I missed you." 

Sae hums in response, hugging you even closer, "I missed you too, a lot." 

His warmth seeps into every crevice of your body, and you feel whole again, maybe it's the painkillers they gave you, or maybe it's Sae's comforting embrace, but suddenly the uncomfortable ache in your joints is gone, the pain replaced with a feeling of contentment. 

Sae makes sure you have everything that you might need during your stay in the hospital, he brings you some of his clothes to wear (he claims they are more comfortable than yours), books, and your tablet, so you can keep yourself entertained and even your favorite snacks. He disregards all worries of getting sick himself and simply focuses on being there for you, on comforting you. 

A/N: Ahhh thank you for the request anon!! You're so sweet, I'm glad you like my writing <3 The way I literally have thought about this scenario in the past-

I really love the idea of Sae just dropping everything to be with his s/o when they need him

He's a soft boy, he would do that, I just know it <3

empty can

genre: hurt, comfort

character: itoshi rin

A/N: i dont even watch blue lock bruh but HELLOOOO theyre all so fine so let me write ooc fics pleeeeessse.. i got reminded of the kdrama so take an its ok to not be ok inspired blurb :3

it was cold.

when did it start raining? the concrete is wet.. you’re slipping over your own steps. the shoes you held on your left were dripping too. it’s still really cold.

since when was rin so mean?

well, he was always a little cold to everyone, but it always felt different when you were with him. the way his tense shoulders relax slightly around you, the way his voice goes quieter and slower when speaking to you, the way….

his words replayed in your head as you walked down the empty side walk on the freeway.

‘you don’t know anything about me so don’t act like it. you’re so loud all the time but you don’t even know how you feel towards me.’

oh well, maybe he wasn’t as gentle to you as you remembered. maybe he was always that mean and you were a little too loud.

‘you won’t understand me until the day you die.’

maybe you were silly to think that there was a chance of him liking you a little too, even if that just meant tolerating your presence. he was right— it’s not like you liked him because you knew everything about him.

‘you’re like an empty can, just loud and empty inside.’

fuck, when did it get so cold? the biting winds and heavy rain were starting to take a toll on your body. the bright sky that initially welcomed your grievances had quickly turned into a sea of stars, silently watching over your lonesome self. you’ve been walking for a while— it hurt.

he was right. you are empty. being rejected by him didn’t hurt but the fact that he’d never chase after you like you did to him was a realization that made you fucking nauseous. were you so unlovable?

it was loud too. the dark horizon stretched for miles and not a single soul was accompanying you. so why was there a car racing down the road behind you?

“y/n!”

it was him. you stopped in your pathetic tracks and stopped to watch him rush out of the driver’s seat towards you. he was fumbling an umbrella in his hands but rather than using it, he opened it and held it over your head uselessly. your gaze remained on his hand.

“you.. it’s.. really late y’know..?” his words were breathless and strained. his voice was never like this with you before. he was trembling too but.. that was probably from the rain. “please just.. get inside the car.”

his shoulders were tense and rigid. his statements were rushed and urgent. this rin was new.

“are you okay?”

“w..what?”

“you look stressed. and you shouldn’t be out here at this time.. why are you here, rin?”

you desperately wanted to look at his face; what expression did he have on right now? what was he feeling? but it felt difficult to even be near him.

“stressed? i’m.. god. y/n please.” he was still shaking you noticed. “please.”

there was a lighthouse nearby and it’s soft light slowly turned in the night. you never knew how emotional rin could get.

“rin, ì don’t know what you want from me.”

“please..”

the pavement you two stood on began to be washed over by a yellow glow and everything that was shrouded by the night was now visible. you looked up at rin’s face and he met your gaze with his own. his usual jade eyes were glassy and his lower lashes were wet, and you knew it wasn’t rain.

oh.

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i don’t..” now you knew he was shaking with fear and regret. “don’t get sick out here. you can yell or hit me, just not out here.” you watched his chest fall and rise quickly before you felt his hand grab your shoulder. he was pleading for your forgiveness.

“just come back with me.. okay..?”

“did you chase after me?”

he rested his head on your shoulder.

“i just.. was scared. and i missed you. or.. i.. i wanted to apologize. i didn’t mean it. i’m the one who doesn’t understand their own emotions. even right now, i don’t know what i’m saying. all i know is you and the fact that you’re out here soaked and alone and.. it’s my fault.”

itoshi rin was sobbing on your shoulder.

“i’ve never understood myself around you. you make me feel like.. the moon quietly watching the violent waves. and sometimes it’s the other way around like.. like right now. i’ve never..”

you felt your heart hurting and you touched his back. never did you think he’d be the one running after you. the emptiness that filled you all day started becoming engulfed by rin’s embrace and tears. the lighthouse shifted and you two were once more left in the dark. you closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“are you driving me back to your place..?”

rin let go of you and gave you a look of hope. he wrapped his pinky around yours and gently tugged you to follow him into his car.

“yeah. stay with me for the night. i’ll take care of you.”

maybe you were a little empty. but you knew that comforting feeling in your stomach as you stared at his back and hand guiding you, and you knew that he felt it too.

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