Secrets Of The Girl...

I’ve seen this in Taiwan.

Intermission

Marilyn Monroe, 1960 - captured by Eve Arnold.

You...

Are the master of yourself

Traveling makes you open to new experiences.

Mark Twain loved to travel and once wrote, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” Source Source 2

Broken

I've been broken for a few years now, until I met him. He's kept me from shattering. I'll never be mended, but he is my glue.

I have a bit of a silly thought about puddles. Maybe puddles are a glimpse into another world. You can only see it through water, and once it dries up, the portal into the other world disappears. Maybe this is why natural disasters happen. Maybe someone is jumping into a puddle happily and giddily not knowing they are being a districtive force. Maybe this is why natural disasters happen every once in a while. Perhaps we don’t know our own force. Perhaps, someone is jumping into a puddle and causing chaos on our world. Thoughts?

Beautiful

Diego Gravinese The Duration of Promises Oil on canvas, 180 x 140 cms

Mind over mind

Sometimes the part of my mind that says, “you’re not good enough,” is loud and unrelenting.  It says, “Who do you think you are that you think you can be who you are, do what you do, live the way you do,” so on, and so forth.  But I’ve learned to stand up to it and say, “You are not stronger than my happiness.”  Over and over I say this, sometimes the little voice quiets down in a few minutes, or sometimes it doesn’t, but it never puts me to sleep, because my happiness wins out.

Bringing my halo to the party.

Recently, on June 5th, I turned 40. This is an age I don’t mind, and quite excited about. I thought my 30s was quite exceptional. It made me feel whole and alive that decade. It healed me from my 20’s where I was quite broken and lost. So at age 40 and on, I hope to find more of myself.

Now I know I haven’t updated my tumblr in more than ages, but I’m more of a creeper than a writer that cuts out different letters from magazines and sends it to the lead investigator kind of gal, but I’ve been busy.

I’m married now and have a frickin 4 year old boy! I’m a boy mom! I just want to sit on a bench under the tree for some damn shade!

So, back to my age. When I was 29, I thought I couldn’t possibly make it to 30. I thought I’d cease to exist. I didn’t actually think I’d die or anything, just that some celestial being would just pluck me from existence. So when I hit 30, that morning I felt strange, I was ready for something to happen, only nothing happened.

The only thing that happened was that I got reacquainted with an old friend, who became my boyfriend, who became my fiancé, who became my husband, who became the father of our child.

I used to question why I was so happy. I would subscribe to the saying, “this too shall pass.” Though poetic, was damaging to me.

Now I ask myself, “why not?” Why not be happy? Why not feel love? Why not be hopeful?

Anyway, I’m 40 now, and I’m excited!