Thank You For Clearing This Up! I Always Assumed It Was To Make Themselves Feel Better About Venting

Vampires in Space

The earth was destroyed. We're talking blown to smithereens and is now a bunch of space rubble destroyed. Obviously, all living things were killed in this cataclysmic event.

Except for you, an immortal vampire who cannot die.

Set adrift without a drop of blood and nothing but the cold void surrounding you, you float in a sort of stasis; painfully alive but forever starving and helpless to change it. It seems the vast emptiness is all that will comprise of your eternity.

Until your path is interrupted by a ship, and you dare to hope that maybe you aren't as alone as you thought.

holy shit

when sherlock said “taking your own life. interesting expression, taking it from who? once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. your own death is something that happens to everyone else. your life is not your own, keep your hands off it.” i almost cried

He pulls the thin strands of his hair up into a messy bun, feeling the sparse follicles crunch like corn husks in his grip.

He looks at himself in the mirror, his face pulled taut by the Hello Kitty scrunchie struggling to grip his almost non-existent locks, and his complexion a cheeto dust orange.

It was clear in that moment. He was not like other ex presidents.

Teamwork makes the dream work

We got you buddy

Damn I had no idea The Real Housewives of Michigan were so based! Get it, Susan! You take your gay son to soccer practice in your Chrysler Pacific and you hold your head up high when you pass out the rainbow sugar cookies during this month's pta meeting. What a queen🙌

When Music Stopped Being Enough Spoilers

I'm as down bad for them as they are for each other😗❤️

So I've been telling my mom that twilight ain't shit for YEARS! I've been telling her how all the characters(yes including Charlie) are trash and how Jacob is just as toxic as the rest of the triangle due to the assault. I've been telling her Stephanie did realize she had created a monster and still doesn't. I told her how it pushed problematic themes onto its audience and how it had heavily racist and misogynistic undertones. On and on I ranted!

Well this morning my mom comes to me and seems surprised by something. She tells me that she was watching some people on tik tok and YouTube respectively and they brought up some points about twilight that she had never thought about. So I watched the videos and of course it was ALL THE POINTS I HAD ALREADY MADE MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT! One of the guys she watched was even a critique I HAD BEEN WATCHING FOR YEARS!

Now when I say that twilight is problematic and Jacob's a rapist in the making I'm being dramatic but when some random guy on the internet says it she's like

The lesson here kids is parents don't listen to a damn thing you say. Those fuckers tune you the hell out.

Me filtering out kinks I don’t like on AO3. 

"are you perturbed with me" works well I think. Try being upset when you say/hear the word 'perturbed' unironically used in a sentence.

They should make a "are you mad at me" that is taken neutrally and informationally every time and doesn't make everything worse when you ask it