How Did It Go?

Well... Who spilled the secret? Was it Dave?

That asshole

Mage titles like "Lord of Lightning" or "Child of Darkness" are no different from army nicknames: They're usually based on inside jokes. You didn't realize this until you got one.

Just got of the plane. I could not stop looking at what the guy next to me had between his legs. It was amazing. Sometimes his legs were blocking it so I couldn't see it, but I still tried to peek. Even got a picture:

Obviously a little old with the white hairs, but still a very good boy. Got through the entire flight without moving or even making a sound. I really wanted to pet him, but didn't because of my allergies :(

Oh the struggle is SO real

When you get caught in rain and then realise you genuinely can’t remember the last time it rained

TRANS IS BEAUTIFUL

im obsessed with the idea that gothamites 100% know who all the batkids are, like “ for sure Dick Grayson is nightwing #thebuttsmatch” and they figured out all their identities and who it correlates to, “ofc the newest robin with all the swords is Damian Wayne!!” but they refuse to even consider Bruce and The Batman being the same guy. it just doesn’t make sense?? Brucie Wayne, dressing up as a bat and calling himself vengeance???? as if???? also he’s from bristol???? can’t possibly be Brucie. Like they genuinely believe that Bruce is the father to a whole gaggle of themed vigilantes and just doesn’t know it. Anytime his kids disappear during a gala, he gets a bunch of pitiful looks and he can’t leave bc everyone’s looking at him now??

This actually works into a lot of ppls theories that Brucie is The Batman’s sugar daddy, bc clearly they’re together and co parenting the batkids??

real adult™ tip from a real adult™ with executive dysfunction

do stuff while waiting for other stuff

like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time

waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there. 

waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all

i have a great day until i remember something mildly embarrassing i did twenty years ago and then i freeze on the spot unable to move

My favorite band!

My bf overheard me watching a Drawfee video and said “is that Karina and the white boys”

This is now my new favorite best friend duo