Goldenboyrichards - Boys Don't Cry.

chancecunningham​:

WHO: @goldenboyrichards​ & chance cunningham WHERE: the hospital, specifically outside cole’s room WHEN: a day or two after the carnival tragedy

making the decision to come to the hospital after everything that went down at the carnival wasn’t easy. the last thing chance wanted to do was be faced with more trauma that he didn’t know how to process…but what choice did he have? he’d heard that steve was in intensive care because of the injuries he’d sustained, so obviously chance had to go see his friend…plus a few others. 

the first person chance visited was cole. it was no secret that the two boys had never gotten along much. but still. cole had offered chance his flask on the tunnel of love like an olive branch, so when chance found that same flask abandoned in the middle of the carnival after the explosives went off, something possessed him to grab it and return it to its rightful owner. 

chance’s meeting with cole had left him with a lot on his mind. were the two friends? far from it, but maybe they were on their way to something less tense. especially because they had a shared connection with— “adam,” chance said as he exited cole’s room and spotted his friend in a chair right outside the door, “he’s asleep.” chance shut the door gently and let out an exhausted sigh before he plopped down in a seat next to his best friend. 

where did he even begin? “what the fuck were you thinking back at the carnival, man?” he whispered, effectively forgetting half of what he’d just talked about with cole, “are you brainwashed?” chance had never been tactful when his emotions were heightened like this, “or…i mean…yeah, i don’t know, just…what the fuck?” it was high time chance and adam had a talk, and since he wasn’t sure when he’d have him alone again (save for a few nurses walking by), he seized the opportunity.

With how stressed out Adam had been about Cole and about what he’d done at the carnival, he had barely even thought about his other friends. The ones who’d been hurt the worst were in here anyway, and he could check on them and apologize for his fucked up part in everything. But people like Chance, Jack, and Chrissy had slipped his mind a bit. That made him feel like a sort of shitty friend, but he also had some pretty massive concerns here. Like...what if he blacked out again? What could he do to stop it?

After getting back from the cafeteria, he’d taken a break from Cole’s room for a bit, sitting out in the hallway while Cole had a visitor. He didn’t want to bother them. But when Chance exited the room, Adam perked up a bit. It was really nice of Chance to visit his friend while he was in here, in his opinion. “Chance,” Adam greeted back, nodding at the news that Cole had fallen asleep. Good, he needed the extra rest. After being so injured, it would be nice for him to be able to recover a bit while he slept.

Chance’s questions were valid, but Adam didn’t have any idea on how to answer them. What the fuck had he been thinking at the carnival? The truth was nothing. He couldn’t control himself at all. “I don’t know,” Adam admitted quietly, staring at the floor. “It wasn’t...I blacked out, Chance,” He told his best friend, worried he wouldn’t believe him. “I don’t know how, but I swear to God, I wasn’t in control back there.” Maybe he was brainwashed - how else could he explain the blackouts? Adam didn’t know. “I just remember getting off the Tunnel of Love and then waking up to Cole being put in the ambulance. Were you hurt at all?” Adam really hoped not.

scribblcs​:

from the moment a client walked in the room, gabe was on, eyes fixed, watching, and scribbling on his notepad without tearing his gentle gaze away from whoever he was seeing. today? it was adam richards, star football player, golden boy, and recently returned from a forest commune he disappeared into three years ago. he looked antsy, which was expected from small town folk like these. where adam smiled tightly, gabe grinned back warm and open. “good afternoon.” he met him, “i’m dr.gabe, as i’m sure you were told.” he dropped his pen and folded his hands over the notepad. he chuckled softly, “do you want to lay down?” he asked adam, looking around his office. “help yourself to any spot or trinkets around here, you’re welcome to smoke if that’s your sort of thing, i have waters in the other room. don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything, okay?”

he had spent two days sprucing up the place to make it look comfortable, more like a home than an office. there were bean bags and pillows on the floor, a chair, and a large cushioned couch. scattered around the room were plants, quirky incense holders, bookshelves, and a motown record played softly from somewhere in the corner. the floor was covered up with a couple of rugs layered over one another and the blinds were low so to keep the lights from the scattered lamps soft and inviting. gabe took adam’s hand and made a mental note of just how the kid greeted him, “nice to meet you.” he smiled again, then waited for the other to sit down. when he finally looked comfortable, gabe started, “so, adam, how was your day? what did you get up to?” he’d start it off easy, like always.

Mandated therapy to help those who’d been in the ‘forest commune’ adjust felt like a good idea in theory, but bad in practice. After all, who liked being forced to talk about their feelings? Not Adam, at least not with strangers. There was just so much that he knew by now he was supposed to keep to himself. His sexuality, for one thing. But beyond just that, Adam knew that men weren’t supposed to talk about their feelings. He had struggled with that a lot growing up considering how much he wore his heart on his sleeve, but sports had reinforced the idea a lot. Talking about emotions was reserved for Cole, Chrissy or Beth, not a stranger in a doctor’s office in downtown Hawkins. 

“Dr. Gabe?” He repeated, mentally making a note that that must be his first name. Got it. “Oh, um... I guess not?” Adam shrugged. The list of things Gabe was fine with him doing was a little overwhelming at first, but Adam appreciated it. Smoking appealed to him briefly, but he didn’t have any with him. And besides, being an athlete, it wasn’t a good habit anyway. “I think I’m okay. Thank you.” 

The room felt very comfortable, which did ease some of Adam’s concerns. It wasn’t sterile and white like the doctor’s offices he was used to, and there were plants everywhere. His eyes lingered on one near him for a minute - it wasn’t something he was familiar with, but then again, he’d never been a gardener. His mom took care of the flowers at their house. After shaking Gabe’s hand, Adam awkwardly sat down on the couch. He stuck close to the edge, ready to stand back up and make his way back to the door if things got overwhelming. “Um, my day was okay,” He started, glancing at Gabe briefly. “I ran some errands with my mom and took my little sister Cindy to the mall for a bit. Then I came here.” Adam didn’t mind helping his parents out. They were busy, and he liked spending time with Cindy. It meant getting up early, though, and Adam was still tired from spending several days sleeping at the hospital. “How was your day? Am I allowed to ask that?” Adam asked after a second, not wanting to overstep a boundary if it wasn’t okay to ask about Gabe’s life too. 

WHO: Adam & @scribblcs

WHAT: Please talk about your feelings <333

WHERE: Dr. Gabe’s Office

Therapy wasn’t something Adam had any experience with. Neither of his parents had ever seen a therapist that he knew of, at least not while he was growing up. It just didn’t seem necessary, and even now Adam wasn’t sure it was going to be a good fit for him. As much as he was in touch with his emotions, he wasn’t used to sitting around and talking about them with anyone except Cole, Chrissy, Beth or Jack sometimes. Talking to a stranger about his life just felt weird. 

But after everything that had happened with the carnival, Adam knew he probably should visit Dr. Diaz. It had been mandated when they had all begun emerging from the forest commune, but Adam had been successfully avoiding his appointment for awhile now. But with the blackouts? Adam needed someone to help him figure out what was happening, and help him process the idea that he’d done horrifying things whether he meant to or not. 

When he entered Dr. Diaz’s office, he offered the man a tight smile, avoiding his eyes. He wasn’t sure how comfortable he felt opening up to him at this point, honestly. With a glance at the couch in the room, Adam frowned for a minute. “Am I supposed to lay down?” He asked, basing this entirely off of every movie he’d seen with a character laying down and baring their heart to the guy with a notepad. “Um, I’m Adam, by the way.” Adam introduced, although he was sure Dr. Diaz had already been briefed about him or something, just like Peter had been. He stuck his hand out to shake, waiting to follow Dr. Diaz’s lead. 

jackforeman​:

WHO: jack foreman & @goldenboyrichards​ </33 WHERE: the richards’ residence

All that Jack could think about on his drive over to Adam’s house was that he had killed him. Probably with his bare hands, too, or whatever that black thing was that he saw in his head. He didn’t know what to think, or how to feel except betrayal and confusion. This was his best friend, someone he’d gone through hell and back with, and it was Adam’s fault that he had missed three years of his life. Three years of not being with his sisters, of being beside them while they mourned him, no matter where they thought he went. He gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were as white as the hood of his car, his breathing heavy but shaky as he made his way the few blocks to Adam’s house.

He’d waited to do this until Cole was out of the hospital, now knowing what he knew about the two. The past few days had been spent locked in his room with the occasional visit from Jo or Julie until he’d gotten the call from Adam’s sister that he was back at home. There were more important things than demanding answers about something that had happened years ago, especially when it concerned someone who Adam loved.

Jack’s heart was in his throat as he got out of the car, needing a moment to catch his breath before he rang the doorbell to see Adam’s face. It was a sight he hadn’t seen in the flesh since being in the Tunnel of Love despite replaying in his mind, plaguing his dreams since then. The look of determination before Adam had taken him into the warehouse was etched into his memory now, forever. As Adam opened the door, Jack took a step back, forcing a pained smile as he greeted him. “Hey, I heard you were home. Could I, uh … do you have a second? Can I come in?”

Some people were scared of spiders, some were scared of heights. Adam Richards was scared of letting down the people he loved the most. He always had been. Being a people pleaser was in his DNA, constructed out of the burden of being the only son and eldest child in the family. A duty to protect others, keep them safe, had long since been ingrained in him. Hurting someone? Hurting someone went against everything that Adam stood for. In his core, his very being, Adam was destroyed by the thought of hurting another person. It was unthinkable.

Killing Jack? He couldn’t fathom it.

After Jo had gone home a few days ago, Adam had barely left his room. He had known that the blackouts were bad, that they were something he should be scared of. His body wasn’t his when they happened - because Adam would never, ever hurt someone he cared about. But did that really matter? Because Adam had done it. It didn’t matter that it hadn’t been his decision; he had still killed his best friend. His body was more than capable of murder, even if it wasn’t Adam calling the shots. 

When his mom told him that Jack was here to see him, Adam felt nauseous, like he truly might throw up. How could Adam even look at Jack right now? But... how could he not? Jack had every fucking right to hate him - Adam hated himself for what he’d done while blacked out. And if Jack wanted to confront him, then Adam couldn’t and wouldn’t stop it. He shakily walked to the door, opening it and peering at Jack sadly. 

“Yeah, man. Of course,” Adam said, opening it wider and leading the way towards his bedroom. He didn’t want his parents to overhear what he had done. “Jack, I - I’m so sorry. I don’t remember... doing that. And you can say or do whatever you want to me,” He told him after he closed the door behind Jack, nervously stuffing his hands into the pocket of one of the few hoodies Cole and Beth hadn’t stolen from him. “I get it. I’m not really safe to be around right now.” 

jofcreman​:

what happened? the way he opened the door, so non-chalantly, the way his brows drew together in worry, surely feigned concern for her brother, made jo’s blood boil. she flexed her hands, stopping herself short of letting her palm meet his cheek. no, the neighbourhood thought she was insane enough as is. truly, it was only her position at the post that spared her from their neighbour’s open ridicule. because a girl scoring a job like that, she had to have at least an ounce of sanity in her, right? even if she dressed like that and talked like that and behaved like that.  but god, adam richards’ face did look extremely punchable right about then.

her judgement was clouded heavily by red hot rage, jo exhaled deeply through her mouth a couple of times to ground herself. countine one, two, three in her head. as much as she wanted to end him right then and there, she needed to get to the bottom of this. if not for her sake then for jack’s. “jack’s okay. considering.” brows still drawn together, jo scrunched up her nose in disgust. considering she was standing in front of his best friend and presumed murderer. considering he had died at the hands of who he’d trusted most. this wasn’t right. “we need to talk, richards. alone.” and, with her voice lowered and leaning in, she added:  “about the summer of ‘85. remember? when you killed my brother?”

Jo seemed.... angry. With him. And Adam wasn’t sure why. What had he done to Jack? The last time they’d talked had been at the carnival, when Adam had beaten him at Down a Clown, but this was definitely unrelated to that. Before that, it had been when Adam had come out to Jack and told him about dating Cole - but Jack had seemed fine with it! So Adam couldn’t understand what he had done to piss Jo off in the last few days. 

“Considering?” Adam repeated, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Consider the carnival? He hadn’t thought Jack got hurt - he hadn’t seen him in the hospital. But maybe he had been? Maybe Jack and Jo were made that Adam hadn’t come to see him? “Did he get hurt or something?” He asked. And then he got his answer on why Jo was upset with him. 

“I...killed Jack?” Adam repeated, freezing where he stood on the front porch. “No, I didn’t. No,” He shook his head, taking a step back and running into the door. “No, because I wouldn’t...” No, Adam wouldn’t do that. He would never, ever lay a finger on his best friend. But Adam wasn’t Adam when he blacked out, was he? And there was a whole week of his life in 1985 that Adam had no memory of, except for the time he’d nearly strangled Cole. If he had almost done that to the love of his life, what was he capable of doing to his best friend? “Oh my god...” Adam slumped backwards into the house, leaving the door open for Jo to follow. Without being able to stop himself, Adam doubled over the trashcan, throwing up the contents of his stomach at the thought of killing his best friend. His teammate. The guy he’d spent countless nights hanging out with in high school, the boy who’d come over and watch movies with him or join him at parties. The man he trusted more than almost anyone else, and who should have been able to trust Adam too. 

“I don’t remember doing that,” Adam sunk to the floor in his kitchen, tone almost a whisper despite them being alone now. Head in his hands, Adam pulled at his own hair. “I love Jack. He’s my best friend. How could I... how could I do that?” He asked, knowing Jo wouldn’t have an answer. 

jackforeman​:

All Jack could offer Adam was a shrug of his shoulders about the whole thing. Weird was really the only way to describe anything these days. “Yeah, it was. I wasn’t hungover or anything when I got home, so I don’t know. Maybe there was something in what we drank? That couldn’t be right, though–it was all in cans.” None of it made sense, but that seemed to be something the two could agree on, besides that things definitely could have gone worse. Cole and Adam weren’t hurt, and that was all that mattered.

Jack wasn’t really the most socially aware person on the planet, but he knew when something was up, especially when it was with Adam. He’d been so used to his ticks and tells when they played together, so much so that it was almost speechless. Jack knew from the way Adam looked (or even threw a football) how he was really doing. “Yeah, I kind of noticed. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, like, pry at anything when we were at the rock, it just … I know you, and I could tell there was something up between you guys.” Maybe it was the discussion about how they’d left for the woods that set Adam in a bad mood. He’d said that it was something about when they were gone, after all. Did he want to know, though? The word we meant that Cole did know something when he was at Melvald’s, but hadn’t said anything. Maybe that was the reason for Jo and Julie acting so strange, too. “I don’t know, do I want to know?” he asked, letting out a shaky laugh. “Not that you really had a choice, if Cole had told you, but … do you wish you didn’t? If that makes sense.”

Adam frowned at Jack not being hungover and them all drinking from cans. So maybe they could rule drugs out. “This whole thing is so confusing,” Adam replied, rubbing at his forehead with the heel of his hand. He was just glad they’d all made it safely, though and that nothing worse had happened. Adam didn’t think he could process any more bad shit right now, honestly. 

Playing together for years in high school left Adam and Jack very well acquainted. Jack knew Adam, and Adam knew him - he knew that Jack was a good guy, one of the best honestly. And he hadn’t told Jack about Cole before not because he didn’t trust him specifically, just...being open in Indiana wasn’t easy. Adam couldn’t be sure which of his jock friends might turn on him, hurting him or Cole for their relationship. But... Adam and Jack were bonded for life now by whatever had happened to them three years ago. There was no going back from that. “Yeah...there was. There is.” Adam corrected, staring down at his hands in his lap to avoid looking directly at his friend. “We’re...together,” He admitted quietly, having told a grand total of two people that he was gay before now. Cole and Chrissy. It never felt easier to expose that part of himself - but loving Cole was the easiest thing Adam had ever done. He just always had to remember that part when telling someone, to make the confession itself not seem so big. “I wish...” Adam sighed, sitting up straighter and leaning back in his chair. “Honestly, dude, I wish I didn’t know. I wish Cole hadn’t told me,” He admitted finally, not wanting to blame Cole. It wasn’t his fault. The thought itself was just so unthinkable to Adam, and he wished he could have lived in ignorance for longer. “But it’s your choice to make, man. I can’t make it for you.” 

CHRISTOPHER BRINEY, CIS MALE, HE/HIM | who’s that? oh it’s ADAM RICHARDS. i hear they’re 22 and are known as THE GOLDEN BOY around THE FOOTBALL FIELD. they’re known to be COMPASSIONATE AND SELFLESS and CLOSED OFF AND GULLIBLE. some people say they remind them of THE SMELL OF FRESHLY CUT GRASS MIXED WITH DRYING PAINT, THE ROAR OF A CROWD AT THE FINAL WHISTLE, SNEAKING KISSES AT A RED LIGHT AT THREE IN THE MORNING, A SHEEP IN WOLF’S CLOTHING, EVERYONE IN TOWN KNOWING YOUR NAME. they DO NOT believe they died.

THE BASICS

FULL NAME: adam jacob richards

NICKNAME(S): richards, quarterback

AGE: twenty-two

DATE OF BIRTH: october 3rd

HOMETOWN: hawkins, indiana

CURRENT LOCATION: tree commune hawkins, indiana

GENDER: cis male

PRONOUNS: he / him

ORIENTATION: homosexual ( only known by cole and maybe a small amount of other people he trusted ? )

OCCUPATION: former lifeguard at the hawkins pool

THE FACTS

Adam has the most apple pie backstory you can imagine. The eldest of three, he’s always been the dependable golden child. His father is a dentist, a steady job that keeps them on the well-off side of town. His mother was originally his receptionist, but gave that up when she had Adam. For as long as Adam can remember, his mom had been around to take care of him and his little sisters. She was always there to pick him up when he fell, or hold him after a nightmare. He was closer to her than his father, although they had a fine relationship too. His memories of home are happy, filled with family dinners around the kitchen table, singing along to the radio as they drove to church on Sundays, and his family cheering him on every Friday night. Adam loved his family so much.

There’s only one thing that could make him want to leave them behind, and that’s the knowledge that he could never fully be himself in Hawkins. Adam didn’t realize that he was gay until he was in high school - he just thought that maybe the attraction guys described feeling for girls was overexaggerated. Once he met Cole Montgomery, though, everything changed. He pestered Cole to help him with English, relishing their weekly study sessions until things shifted and they began seeing one another romantically. Being with Cole made Adam feel more like himself than anything else in the world did. And while Adam adored his family, he needed to get out of Hawkins in order to be truly happy.

Cole wasn’t the only thing that made Adam want to leave, though. Hawkins itself came with a sort of pressure. Here, he was the Boy Next Door. The Hometown Hero. Every Friday night, Adam was expected to put on his jersey and play his part as the star quarterback, beloved by all who attended their games. And at times, Adam felt suffocated by that. There were so many rules and expectations he had to follow in order to just exist in Hawkins. In order to play sports and be accepted - which Adam wanted - he had to behave and act a certain way. Which is why Adam knew that once Cole graduated, he had to leave with him and go somewhere where no one expected anything from him.

And that was the plan, until the summer of 1985. Things were good, stable, until suddenly Adam was being controlled by the Mind Flayer and was killed at the Starcourt Mall. Adam doesn’t really remember this time; he doesn’t know that he died. It’s all really hazy, honestly. But now that he’s back and people are claiming that he joined a commune in the woods for three years…well, Adam doesn’t know what to think.

THE HEADCANONS

Adam’s always fully embraced his role as a big brother to his younger sisters. He loves them both dearly. While he’s closer to the middle sister just due to their ages (she’s around 18-20), he also loves Cindy, who’s 16 now. He feels bad that he missed out on their lives for the last three years for sure. 

He loves football and sports in general. The comradery of a team, the thrill of people depending on you - that’s so special to Adam. The only part of it he hated was the pressure and expectation to be someone that he wasn’t. He hated the toxicity that could exist in that world, especially the casual misogyny and homophobia. That’s why he always tried to rise above it while still working the system? Like, he couldn’t step too far out of line or call too many things out, but he always tried to stand up against bullying in his own way. 

Adam is just... a very genuine person. He’s absolutely a himbo who takes a lot at face value. He’s never understood why people can’t just mean what they say, or have good intentions. Like this man is a Lawful Good through and through. 

School wasn’t easy for this man. He did okay in some classes, but really struggled in others. In order to keep him on the football team, though, I imagine he had tutors in several of his classes. 

Literally he did not know he was gay until he was like 15-16 years old, he just thought that his friends were exaggerating when they talked about girls. Like, he was like “They’re nice. Fine, even. Pretty, I guess.” and then he met Cole and was like “Ohhhh I get it now.” 

He had a girlfriend when he met Cole, and once he realized he liked Cole and wanted to date him, he felt intense guilt at the thoughts of cheating on her. So, either 1) he broke up with her or 2) he kept dating her but told her everything, and she was willing to be his beard. If someone wants that connection, PLEASE lmk because I would love to see either option. 

Truly he always tries to see the best in people. Even those who don’t deserve it. 

He fully had plans with Cole to run away after Cole graduated and Adam 100% was going to follow through. He didn’t love the idea of leaving his family behind, but he needed to be himself and not the town’s Golden Boy. Unfortunately, Adam got flayed by Billy, who he used to work with.

He wasn’t himself the few days before he died. He was a lot meaner and angrier than anyone had seen him before, so that might have raised some red flags for people. Adam was eventually killed at the mall.

While Adam doesn’t think that he died, he does find the commune idea suspicious. After all, he did want to run away, but with Cole. He’s so confused by the idea that he would have left him behind, so part of him is worried that maybe he was brainwashed or kidnapped? He has no clue what to believe when it comes to that, honestly. 

colemontgomeryx​:

Suddenly, unexplainably, Cole had a future again. Since Adam died, he had been aimless and drifting; obviously, he’d moved on in the literal sense– he’d gone to college, gotten promoted, made new friends– but he had not goals or ambition. All of his plans were tied to Adam; he would take whatever job, move to whatever state necessary just to be with him. Losing that felt like losing part of himself. More than he was confused, Cole was elated and relieved. He felt muscles unclench that must’ve been taut for the last three years. Finally, he was whole again. The closest he’d gotten for the last three years was talking about Adam with Max. 

He had so many questions: how was Adam alive? Did he remember the Mindflayer? Why did he think he’d been in a commune? But Adam’s embrace was intoxicating, the feeling of his face in Cole’s hair was bliss– Cole didn’t want to ruin the moment with questions, because what if questioning it made Adam disappear? What if this wasn’t real?

Cole laughed, too; It was classic Adam to crack a joke at a time like this. Cole’s brows furrowed together at Adam’s apologies; he really seemed to believe the commune thing, and Cole hated seeing him so wrecked with guilt. “Adam, no… you didn’t run away. You were dead,” he said, his tone gentle. “And I don’t know how you’re back, but you are.”

Tears pricked up in Cole’s eyes again at the thought of Adam gone, but he pushed the thought aside for now. “And can we worry about the details later?” he asked, meeting Adam’s eyes and pushing hair out of his face like he always used to. Tenderly, Cole cupped Adam’s face and pressed their lips together. Somehow, every kiss with Adam felt like magic– sloppy drunk kisses and rushed kisses in hidden corners alike felt like coming home, and now was no different. Cole leaned into the kiss, holding onto Adam like he was afraid he’d disappear if he let go. He paused, resting his forehead against Adam’s, and breathed: “I missed you so fucking much.”

Adam couldn’t wrap his brain around Cole’s words. There was no way. No way he had... because how could he be here now? If that had happened, why didn’t his family say anything? How could they just not remember? 

They had left his room exactly the same, down to the dirty clothes littering the floor and the half-drunk can of New Coke on his bedside table. At first, when he’d come home and seen that, he’d felt odd about it. Like he was a ghost, returning to the place he’d felt most comfortable haunting. Maybe... maybe there had been some truth to that feeling. But that was just impossible. Right? How could someone be dead for three years, then just come back like nothing had happened? 

Adam stopped that train of thought in it’s tracks. “No, I... no.” He said more firmly, shaking his head again. His hands let go of Cole briefly, only for his balled up fists to scrub at his eyes. “I didn’t die, Cole. I didn’t...” Adam repeated, voice pleading with Cole. Because he didn’t die. He couldn’t. What did that mean if he did? And what did it mean if he didn’t? “I left. I was in a commune. I’m sorry.” Adam repeated, voice breaking on his apology. 

And then Cole was kissing him, and the distress he’d just felt melted away slightly. It wasn’t gone. It was just shoved away to the back of his mind, deep in a dark place where Adam could hold on to it until he felt ready to process something that huge. Adam’s arms returned to Cole, wrapping around him and pulling him close. For the first time ever, Adam didn’t really care that they were in a semi-public place. Mrs. Sanders be damned. He kissed Cole sweetly, making up for the three years they’d been apart as best as he could. Adam ached for that time back, but he would take what he could get now. As they pulled away, Adam leaned his forehead against Cole’s, sighing at how right it felt. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” 

I’m just- I’m tired of trying. I feel like nothing I do is enough.

KEVIN CAN F**K HIMSELF | 1.01 — “Living the Dream”

mmuscles​:

growing up, thad’s family had staff who did the trivial things for them like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, so this little trip to the supermarket wasn’t exactly his idea of fun, or even necessary. his motel room was pathetically barren of anything other than a bottle of wine and some leftovers. he grew tired of having to mingle with townfolk at restaurants each and every time he got hungry, so here he was, begrudgingly picking up some stuff. thad didn’t even know how to cook. his cart was filled with an unappetizing assortment of junk foods and frozen meals. it was worth it to spend some with nancy, he figured. 

sighing, thad pulled his crumpled, chicken scratch grocery list out of his pocket and tried to locate what he had and hadn’t picked out. he was itching to get out of the place, especially after arguing with an employee about melvald’s limited stock. he didn’t understand why the store didn’t carry kale or pate. to him, that was like a bar not having beer. ridiculous. 

right as he was starting to get his bearings, a cart crashed into the back of his ankles, causing him to yelp and snap his head around. he looked at the other with utter disgust, “hey pal,” he began, “i’m trying to grocery shop? do you fucking mind?” he asked. the unaware stranger seemed to be just like everyone else in this town. stupid, reckless, etc. first that moron cole dented his car, then there was that freak on the street with the walkman, and now this wastoid? when was it going to end? he scoffed turning back around, “yeah, i’m sure you’re real fucking sorry…” thad shook his head, then looked back at his list. well, while the other was here, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask, “hey, do they sell like, caviar here?”

Adam flinched as he hit the other person, not usually so clumsy or careless. And typically it wouldn’t matter - the other person would forgive him and move on with their life. But not the guy in front of him. Instead, he seemed really and truly pissed, which Adam felt like was a bit of an overreaction. “I said I was sorry,” Adam repeated, eyebrows pulled together in a frustrated expression. He wasn’t used to this much hostility from anyone, let alone a stranger. 

Adam was ready to move around the guy and get the hell out of here, until he heard the stranger’s question. “What’s...what’s caviar?” He asked, confusion lacing his voice; Adam wasn’t sure he’d ever heard that word before, honestly. “Whatever it is, I doubt we have it here.” It wasn’t like there was another store in town he could suggest, so the guy would just have to suffer or drive up to Indianapolis or something. “But the ramen’s pretty good, not too hard to make or anything.” It was kind of the only thing Adam could successfully make without under or overcooking it. “I can show you were to find it, if you want?”