Sometimes I Want To Be Stuck In A Homoerotic Relationship Like (insert Popular MLM Ship Here) But Then

google show me this guy wet and whimpering

So so so so excited to go back to work bc it means that I can go back to writing fanfiction on the corporate iPad when there aren’t customers in the store

in the 2000s you got called metrosexual just for wanting tuo fuck the underground,trains

I am s o tired of trying to scroll past this stupid Hyundai advertisement because I see it every four posts and every time it tries to open a new tab in my safari so when I try to google the most efficient way to get my dog to stfu I am instead confronted with 27 tabs of the same Korean ad campaign

L EAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

Lip balm is such a treat

I think my calling in life was actually to be a monk in the 10th century spending all of my free time writing a history book full of propaganda and misinformation and clearly mythological stories but instead I’m in the 21st century with most of human knowledge available at my fingertips and critical thinking training.

Then again the 21st century does have lip balm so. It’s not all bad.

Trying to talk to my mom about the fact that I have bipolar disorder and am still coming off a manic episode and an example I used to try and show her that I am currently Not Feeling Normal is that I went from being a cunt that needs a nap if I don’t get at least 10 hours of sleep to being wired and completely fine after spending 2.5 weeks only getting 4 hours or less of sleep per night

She deadass looked into my autistic eyes and said that’s because my iron levels are (theoretically) leveling out after several years of dealing an bad iron deficiency “so now I have the energy of a normal person”

This feels like when a person comes out as bisexual or nonbinary and their parent is like “well everyone feels that way, you’re not queer”

john wick holding shadow the hedgehog like mary holding baby jesus

Gig, I need to know: thoughts on passwords?

PASSWORDS ARE FOR THE ILL AND THE DYING. I FIND THAT PEOPLE WHO STEAL PASSWORDS ARE AFRAID OF THOSE WITHOUT THEM BECAUSE THEY UNDERESTIMATE THE SHEER POWER OF MY COMPUTER. IT CAN SNIFF OUT A THIEF LIKE A DOG AFTER A SQUIRREL, TAKING THE THIEF’S “NIMBLE” FINGERS WITHIN ITS ELECTRICAL TENDRILS AND SNAPPING THEM IN TWO. I DO NOT NEED PASSWORDS. NEITHER DO YOU

there's actually a secret eighth deadly sin and it's exactly like gluttony except for textile projects