Don't know if you know this but there was a tiktok about these two friends (one boy the other a girl) who went to a hotel in France and absolutely as soon as they came in was a couple pack, I mean like rose petals, towel shaped swans and like champagne bottle with ice romance shit 😭
And ofc the friends the moment saw that ended up laughing so much and honestly this just reminded me of Donna and dick so much for some reason
I have not seen it (please send it to me)
However I can see it
In my minds eye
Donna books the hotel except for once she’s the more sleep deprived one bc Dick fell asleep and is currently napping across her lap. And all the titans follow the cat rule for Nightwing AKA: IF THE BABY SLEEPS ON YOUR LAP IT IS NOW ILLEGAL TO MOVE.
So she’s tryna book a hotel trip on her shitty burner phone since her last real phone blew up (long story but just know it was Roy’s fault) very carefully bc bats will wake up if your heart rate accelerates by 1 beat per minute
And she accidentally books a honeymoon suite
And doesn’t think anymore of it bc she is now going to sleep for a month.
The they go on this slay lil trip to Paris bc Donna and him do a solo field trip once a year added on to the yearly titans field trip. Unlike the titans field trip this has no set it, it’s done when either Donna feels unstable in her identity or Bruce pushed Dick too hard for bludhaven to feel like a safe distance to recenter himself.
So they get there and no one bats (hehe) an eye, they’re both exhausted from the flight and everything end of the world-y that happened before but it’s a nice hotel near the center of Paris and they both wanna knock out
And they walk in and see
Rose petals
Swans kissing
Bottles of champagne with a “for the happy couple”
And they both fuckinf lose it on the floor laughing for a good 10 mins
And then they realize they 100% have to see it through bc not only is this a couples suite Nono this is couples resort.
And so they get into character and instead of goofing off in public and cuddling up to cancel touch starvation in their room. They simply pretend they’re 14 again and remain attached at the hip the whole time.
Cheek kisses, pet names the whole shebang
And they keep getting compliments like “oh my god you guys talk like you’ve know each other your whole lives”
“This is what marrying your best friend looks like”
And so on
They get so much positive reinforcement that Donna and Dick end up in an old argument
Donna: this was nice
Dick: yeah it was
Donna: we should do it again
Dick snorting: what like fake being a couple and stay and an outrageously expensive hotel and eat out weight in butter
Donna: yes except we can’t fake it again we have to do it for real next time or it would be boring
Dick: you’re asking me to marry you
Donna: I’m asking you to marry me
Dick sighing: I will not abandon Bruce and or Gotham if we get married
Donna: WHY NOT?
Dick: HES MY DAD
Donna: HES AN ASSHOLE
Dick: Donna-
Listen I love the ‘dicks being ostracized from his family and self destructs’ trope in fics however
I would like an inverse just once (I could write it but I want this fic to be good so I can enjoy it and I am not the greatest writer) where everyone blows up at him and flat out lays into him and he just goes… okay… if that’s how you feel?
Takes himself off of the patrol routes and rosters. He’s off the emergency calls and his ‘call for city wide emergency’ has been down graded to ‘call for world wide emergency’ he’s no longer on comms with oracle
He stops offering assistance to the other kids teams, doesn’t send info for investigation and doesn’t go within 100feet of Gotham.
Takes himself off the den-mother, baby sitter, trainer for all the younger teams lost that involve any and all bats
In the beginning he vacates his apartment and temporarily moves in with Donna in New York and things are good because of course they are. They’re Dick and Donna a world doesn’t exist where they aren’t okay.
And then his presence in New York leads to a lot of the og core five titans interacting and they realize that they miss each other like hell and start to work together more and more. Until news sites are like ‘teen titans grown up??’ ‘Original titans spotted doing hurricane aid in Florida!’
Because Dick loves his family but he knows when to bow out. And he chose the family he made in the new teen titans.
And then one day one of the bats track him down in nyc and breaks into what is now Dick and Donna’s apartment and are ready to argue that they need him back and need him there for a huge Gotham wide event.
And Dick says ‘sure okay let me get my stuff and we leave in half and hour’ as soon as the first sentence is out
No convincing or begging or asking for money (cough Jason cough)
Dick is patched into their comms and he’s working efficiently except he’s not… acting like himself.
He’s collaborating with whoever they tell him too, no problem, he’s discussing ideal plans and co-ops and teams and how to best get it under control.
But he’s talking to them the way he talks when he’s offering aid to teams he’s not a part of.
Like the hero version of an acquaintance and no one can call him out on it because he’s doing good work. Work that’s on par with his work before this whole fiasco. He explicitly isn’t letting their personal issues affect his work.
He’s speaking but not talking
And Bruce remembers this… he’s probably the only one who does because last time he was the only one included. The last time Dick acted like this is when he first visited Jason and him after he had been fired.
Whenever Bruce was in the room and Dick was forced to speak with him, the conversation never strayed past business casual especially around Jason.
Batman and Nightwing got into screaming matches
Bruce and Dick were strangers
And now they’re back to this, 7 kids later, a million ends of the world stopped, they’ve bled together, cried together and clung to each other in pure relief after they managed to clutch victory.
And Nightwing was treating Batman Inc like a new team stepping onto the scene.
Once they’ve secured everything and managed to keep Bruce from self destructing and making it worse. Dick just leaves and tells oracle that he’ll send over his debrief in 3-5 business days and it was nice working with them.
And then he’s gone
No cave, no manor, no Alfred, no med-bay because Dick doesn’t stay places he’s not welcome.
And after they all talk about that and how weird it was and Bruce reveals Dick did this before when he was Nightwing after Bruce fired, where Dick Grayson didn’t know Bruce Wayne.
And one of the kids asks when he broke and stopped the act and Bruce just says ‘the day he found out Jason died’
And the Batkids kinda freak bc what do you mean?? What is he only going to come back when someone dies? Thats not? There has to be another way?? And Bruce is like yeah no idea sorry (bc he’s helpful like that)
So then Steph the next day resolves to go visit him, Tim isn’t the only professional stalker. And she finds Dick and Donna’s apartment and well it’s daylight and she’s in civvies she’s if she climbs in through the window she might get reported to the NYPD and she doesn’t wanna get arrested or shot to door it is!
And so she goes and knocks and Dick opens the door and just lights up
Something something this is such a nice surprise something something it’s so good to see you.
Dick had taught Donna how to make some of his mother recipes when they were kids. So now whenever they’re together for a long time they cook together.
So Dick who is usually living in a cluttered apartment with no clean dishes and an exclusively grab and go food is now trying to force feed her some of his cooking.
Because he picked up the habit again since he’s the better cook between him and Donna.
And it’s delicious and he wants to catch up and hear everything that’s going on in her life, is she working with new people, dating anyone? How is her relationship with her mother etc etc.
It’s a nice day and she stays late and never confronts him on anything until she sees how long ago the sun set and she needs to get moving.
He hands her paper with his number and makes her promise not to give it to the others or she will lose access to it, he offers to help her on a conditional basis as nightwing but only her, she can call him about the rest if it’s an end of the world or they’re near death and need immediate aid.
And that’s like the fic because the key to winning nightwings assistance is like breathing (optional) but if you’re Dicks family you have to care or else. He’ll love you and help you, when you need it but he won’t tie his life up with yours, he’ll spend his time with people who value his opinion and the person behind the mask.
Anyway cue all the Batkids trying to do what Steph did and fail because they’re neurotic shits who think bonding involves doing casework together or a steak out.
(The next person to crack it is Damian, completely unintentionally he has a fight with Bruce and can’t ask him how the fuck he’s supposed to solve this equation in the new stupid way they’re teaching him no he can’t use the old method they’re supposed to show their work so he pulls up to Dick and Donna’s in a ratty ass hoodie like plz wtf do you mean you work top down explain Grayson- and dicks like awww no problem kid)
Baby
if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this
Random headcanon number 20207483927
-Dick doesn’t spy on his families teams
Because he doesn’t need too
They’ll either tell him what’s happening
Or their teammates will
He’s friends with 80% of them anyway
Jason Todd was honest to god on a team with Dicks Ex who still adores him and starfire /j
No but really Roy and Kori 100% have doxxed Jason’s entire life to Dick Grayson
A) bc I will ignore any canon where these 3 aren’t close
B) Kori has never had a filter ever
C) Dick absolutely has indoctrinated the fab 5 into mission reports and now they feel weird without a debrief
D) Roy would find giving Dick and ulcer over the stupid shit his brother does hilarious
E) Roy would find giving dick and ulcer over the stupid shit HE does so so so fulfilling (revenge)
Damian is on the Titans.
No matter what titans generation of titans it is they’re responding to Nightwings status report request, fully detailed in MLA format with a reference list following APA 7 guidelines
Dick does not have to worry about young justice despite the fact they are very much NOT snitches bc Tim absolutely calls Dick and Doxxes his entire life story to him once a week minimum
(See Tim telling Dick random shit in the comics causing him to lose his balance and fall a compilation Im sure exists)
Both Clark and Wally are on the justice league. Bruce’s every dangerous move is reported to Dick via Clark and all his stupid ones are reported to Dick via Wally.
No matter how weird Dick and Babs relationship (on again, besties, off again, not talking etc) is she’s absolutely telling him either via concise email or 7 hour long sip and bitch session every single thing that happens not for help but bc ughhh wtf is happening.
Now frustratingly the same is not reciprocated
Bc
“Donna or Garth would kill me” -Roy
“*graphic details of sexcapades to distract from question*”-Kori
“Nightwing is busy” -oracle (babs just leaves when asked as a civilian)
“I’m sorry it’s just so hard to not talk to him okay?? He’s so nice” -Jon during supersons
“He’s my friend too, I can tell him what I want” current jon
“Listen he barely talks to me as it is I’d rather he still come to me with issues and insecurities without worrying his father will hear it” -Clark
“If you think I’m saying shit to you, you’re in idiot, if anything was wrong and I told you you’d make it worse go fuck yourself” -Wally
(OG Bruce Wayne hater of titans. him and Roy do fight over this title at the titans new years. Wally thinks Roy lost his place bc he found a new bird to be mad at the bat over so his timeline should shrink. Roy thinks this is bullshit bc now he hates Bruce for reasons of bird^2)
DICK GRAYSON and TALIA AL GHUL coparenting is such a cruel and unusual punishment for both of them but also for damian. I know they don’t do a good job of it either it’s a shitshow in the way typically only brought on by an acrimonious divorce. First time these behaviors have been seen outside of a walmart parking lot weekend custody swap
what is your favorite fic of all time ?
The Nightwing protocol by purple soot
….4…. I don’t wanna talk about it
y’all expose yourselves and take this fanfic test i was just forced to by an irl so now i’m making you too
bungus
the reason I hate the "Tim doesn't trust Dick after Damian/spyral/ric" is because they are besties your honour.
Like there's a post going around that I cannot for the life of me find that says Dick is Tims trusted adult and they are so right fr ong.
Because despite what Fanon believes Dick is a pretty chill guy and people take one look at him and go "let me unload my emotional baggage on you"
There's like a very famous panel (that im too lazy to find or remember the name of the run its in okay don't yell at me) where Tim basically goes "soooo my girlfriends pregnant" and Dick nearly falls off the roof.
Tim is calling Dick for the dumbest shit imaginable to the world ending and so are the rest of the batkids.
so I have taken the Canon that Dick knows if not all but most and generalised it to hell.
-------------------------
Jason has been on a team with like 80% of OG titan members
they're having gossip session
Jason in a war zone dodging bullets with his bat travel mug in his hand: And THEN! Kori and Roy shared this look and you know the look they give you when they're judging you for bat reasons and you're like tell me why you're mad I was raised by a crazy person my normal levels are skewed.
Dick in NYC with a blueberry bagel In one hand, his Turkish coffee in another, just finished meeting up with Donna who gave him THAT exact look: No REALLLLL why are they like that, just tell me which one of the creepy traits I internalised as a child is bothering you.
Jason: omg you get it anyway so I grab the bomb and start playing soccer with it because its round and im bored and starfire takes it away like idk what im doing? bro ive been bombed I know how to work with a bomb..
Dick: hmmm and then what happened
Jason: and then.....
--------------------------
Tim: Dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Dick: yea Tim
Tim: Kon is being a dick
Dick: oh?
Tim: yeah and its really starting to bother me man
Dick who knows Kon is dead and Tim is either hallucinating or drugged to be more susceptible to manipulation and is already on his way: hmm tell me more babybird whys he upsetting my lil brother
Tim about to tell Dick what is a fever dream bc he contracted pneumonia and is loopy off his ass on painkillers:
---------------------------
steph does this more with babs in the hero scene but its just... so easy and totally gets into the habit of it after Dick is her Batman for a bit and now she uses him as her civilian life therapist
Steph on her way back from campus: and then this bitch looks me up and down and pours her coffee cup down my shirt!
Dick on his way back to blud after decking bruce in the face: hold on hold on hold on she did what??
Steph nodding vigorously even though he can't see her: pulls my whole ass sweater away from my body and pours her peats coffee down my goddamn shirt Dick.
Dick: omg she didnt
Steph still nodding: she DID and then I found out from Jonny who found out from Vivian that someone told her I made out with her boyfriend at Leos house party
Dick who has no idea who any of these people are: wait but you were at Leos for like an hour max last week. we has smoothies after.
StepH: exactly so I had proof that I wasn't there and confronted her and went like. I don't want your crusty ass alt white boy whose favourite 'indie' band is the neighbourhood. I dated Tim fucking Drake the OG crusty ass white boy and I don't do repeats
Dick choking on his coffee:
Steph: anyway we are besties now and planning on getting her boyfriend back because apparently he cheated on her with this drop dead gorgeous girl and im high key a lil complimented she thought we were the same person.
Dick who initially called for casework and is actually so happy one of the people he calls siblings is actually like living a life outside of vigilantism: tell me more
Steph: you sound a little teary
dick: don't worry about it
-------------------------
Damian: Richard
Dick: Damian
Damian: so I might be skipping patrol with father
Dick:? what you love patrol??
Damian: and school
Dick: Dames? what's going on:? is everything okay? you can talk to me
Damian: I am volunteering at a hospital
Dick: kid
Damian: Listen before you sAY anything I know what we do is important but I think I can help in another way and -
Dick had brown parents and was training for the olympics at 8, totally knows what its like to have insane expectations and rebel with a day job: kid kid calm down okay? you wanna be a doctor? is that it?
Damian: well? I dont really know but I just? there has to be another way to help people. besides what we do I mean-
Dick: Alfred left me Thomas waynes journals I initially thought they were to bash your fathers head in when he was being stupid but it seems the old man was looking out for us. Wanna take a stab at your other grandpas legacy when you come over next weekend. I'll tell Bruce we patrolled so you get a few more days off.
Damian: you're the best
I write bad Dick Grayson and TMA fanfiction on ao3 follow me @imtired_likerllytiredI literally keep creating and deleting accounts on this hellsite lurker since age 8
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