….4…. I Don’t Wanna Talk About It

This is actually peak omg

the first ever ric grayson x roy harper fic <3 i'm a trendsetter.

As an enjoyer of both as well plz carry on. I just think the difference is hilarious.

I genuinely love how in batfam fanfics….

Dick is like: little D (Damian), Timmy Tim, little wing (Jason) I’m on my way my baby bros!!!

And then in canon….

Dick: *perpetually perturbed by his codependent siblings but knows he’ll never not answer cause who else is gonna pull their dumbassses out the gutter*

Dick now the same age Bruce was when he was adopted, now executing 20 perfect backflips in a row:

Jason, 6 years younger than him with actual magic unable to stand up without joint pain: …what the fuck

Bruce: mhm

Jason: this is so unfair

Bruce: finally we agree on something my boy

Jason tearing up: shut the fuck up

Dick on his hands:

Alfred, grabbing an ice pack: "Honestly Master Bruce, what were you thinking trying to keep up with a ten year old?"

Battinson, impatiently batting away the icepack: "Alfred I'm in my prime--" *all joints crack as he stands up*

Dick, completer of ten back flips in a row: "That didn't sound good."

Kind of ironic how one of Xie Lian's titles is "The god-pleasing crown prince" when the one thing he does consistently without fail is piss off the Heavenly Emperor.

Kori babs sucks ass (too many redheads)

Donnakori however (correct redhead ratio)

Is majestic

bungus

Single parent Dick Grayson on the brain rn

Does anyone have any fics?

I’m not talking about like Dick raising one of the robins im talking about a whole ass child like a baby.

The only canon character I will accept is Mari Grayson but plz

Someone give this man a tiny child.

If any fanfic writers come across this and need convincing I give you.

-Jason comes back from the dead and decides it’s revenge time and it gets ruined bc wtf why does Dick have a 5 year old. Why is the 5 year old adorable? He cannot kill this 5yr olds dad even if he is a dick (lowercase)

- young Tim being an uncle (wtf is he supposed to do here??) and calling Steph bc she knows things and him getting yelled at bc “oh bc I’m a girl ik how to child rear?? Fuck you” this is not why he called her but now he’s too scared to try and clarify.

-Lian and Baby Grayson play dates

-23 yr old Dick has a Baby, he got adopted at 22. Baby is legally Bruce’s grandchild. Bruce is a grandpa at 38 wtf is he supposed to do here. He’s being broody his son is dead! He can’t care about a chil- awwww look they’re smiling at me hiii baby

-Damian and baby Grayson fighting during Bruce time stream vacation. Baby Grayson “well I’m the blood child so there!” Cue Damian violently screaming.

-titans baby sitting shenanigans

-each person who interacts with baby Grayson decides to buy the child their hero merch. This is competition. Dick has about 5 closets worth of baby sized hero merch he doesn’t do laundry for 3 months..

Baby Grayson being a freakishly good acrobat like their dad and scaring everyone (why is the 4 yr old doing a backflip) Batman finally feels vindicated bc everyone knows how hard it was to keep Dick on the ground and not a chandelier now.

Plz send links if anyone has anything like this or writes something I require content and it’s midterms

Ask culture flashbang!!

What’s your favorite Dick Grayson fanfic you’ve written? I’ve dabbled in fanfic but never for DC despite him being my favorite character ever lol

Well my favorite one I’ve written for him that’s published is “on nights like these”

My favorite one I’ve written is coming out in a few days and it’s Dick & Bruce Angst (my drug of choice)

Thank you so much for the question!!!

Random headcanon number 20207483927

-Dick doesn’t spy on his families teams

Because he doesn’t need too

They’ll either tell him what’s happening

Or their teammates will

He’s friends with 80% of them anyway

Jason Todd was honest to god on a team with Dicks Ex who still adores him and starfire /j

No but really Roy and Kori 100% have doxxed Jason’s entire life to Dick Grayson

A) bc I will ignore any canon where these 3 aren’t close

B) Kori has never had a filter ever

C) Dick absolutely has indoctrinated the fab 5 into mission reports and now they feel weird without a debrief

D) Roy would find giving Dick and ulcer over the stupid shit his brother does hilarious

E) Roy would find giving dick and ulcer over the stupid shit HE does so so so fulfilling (revenge)

Damian is on the Titans.

No matter what titans generation of titans it is they’re responding to Nightwings status report request, fully detailed in MLA format with a reference list following APA 7 guidelines

Dick does not have to worry about young justice despite the fact they are very much NOT snitches bc Tim absolutely calls Dick and Doxxes his entire life story to him once a week minimum

(See Tim telling Dick random shit in the comics causing him to lose his balance and fall a compilation Im sure exists)

Both Clark and Wally are on the justice league. Bruce’s every dangerous move is reported to Dick via Clark and all his stupid ones are reported to Dick via Wally.

No matter how weird Dick and Babs relationship (on again, besties, off again, not talking etc) is she’s absolutely telling him either via concise email or 7 hour long sip and bitch session every single thing that happens not for help but bc ughhh wtf is happening.

Now frustratingly the same is not reciprocated

Bc

“Donna or Garth would kill me” -Roy

“*graphic details of sexcapades to distract from question*”-Kori

“Nightwing is busy” -oracle (babs just leaves when asked as a civilian)

“I’m sorry it’s just so hard to not talk to him okay?? He’s so nice” -Jon during supersons

“He’s my friend too, I can tell him what I want” current jon

“Listen he barely talks to me as it is I’d rather he still come to me with issues and insecurities without worrying his father will hear it” -Clark

“If you think I’m saying shit to you, you’re in idiot, if anything was wrong and I told you you’d make it worse go fuck yourself” -Wally

(OG Bruce Wayne hater of titans. him and Roy do fight over this title at the titans new years. Wally thinks Roy lost his place bc he found a new bird to be mad at the bat over so his timeline should shrink. Roy thinks this is bullshit bc now he hates Bruce for reasons of bird^2)

Listen it came to me in a dream don’t yell at me

New years approx 2 hours after midnight

The titans are at Donna’s apartment and all offensively drunk

Dick (most sober) : I’m not doing it

Roy (most drunk): DONT be a coward Grayson

Donna (2nd most drunk): YEAH put on the maid dress Grayson

Dick: THE MAID DRESS ISNT the problem its the fucking thong that goes with it

Wally(speedster metabolism is no match for Dick Grayson and high tech lab equipment more drunk than he’s ever been): oh come on didn’t you give me shit when we were teens for not being “open minded” I didn’t sit through a 5 hour HR presentation on toxic masculinity at 15 for you to back out now

Garth (got high instead, currently flying higher than the moon, out of earths orbit with about 4 pounds of food INFRONT of him): do it do it do it do it

Dick: 1) you know I have no shame around any of you, that is not the issue. I am telling you I. Will. Not. Fit

Donna: damn tbh I thought they put all the dick in your name

Donna: or your personality

Wally: *wheezing*

Dick: listen i will wear the maid dress im not a pussy, I’ll never back out of a dare. IF you let me wear my regular underwear

Roy: deal

Dick goes to Donna’s room to change

Donna: I could’ve sworn I bought the men’s one

Roy: you probably did

Donna: so was he being at bitch cuz if so he has to do the forfeit

Wally: we once dared dick to call slade Wilson daddy in front of Bruce and he did it the next day, you think that THIS is where he draws the line

Garth (has reached zen no thoughts head empty): might still be 2 small, both things can be true *holding index finger up on each and and joining them together in front of his face why crossing his eyes*

Donna in a whisper: is he really that big?

Roy immediately: yes

Donna: you answered that way too quickly

Wally: well we did share a locker room for like 2 decades

Donna: I’m sorry? Did you like compare?? Or something

Garth: noooooooo (honest)

Wally: …occasionally

Roy: idk what yall are on about I just fucked the guy

Donna: YOU DID WHAT???

Garth: ????????????????

Wally: HUH? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN????

Roy realizing this was when they were on the outsiders,very toxic with one another and on opposite paths of self destruction: Okay listen it was a weird time for us, Donna was dead and-

Donna: SO YOU FUCKED THE NEXT BLACK HAIRED BLUE EYED PERSON ON THE TEAM

Garth (still high): wait I was on that team? Why didn’t you fuck me? I have black hair and blue eyes

Wally patting his shoulder in a supportive manner: not enough daddy issues.

Garth: *nods understandingly* ahhhhh

Roy: AS I was saying, it was a weird time I had my whole thing with Cheshire, you were dead which means dick wanted to die more than usual. Anyway it happened I love him but let’s not do that again

Garth: but would you? Like without the toxic would you

Roy: Raw. Next question

Donna *did not need to know this about dick but also mildly impressed* curiosity is man’s greatest sin and as a feminist it’s her job to even that playing field even if it’s cursed knowledge:… so how big is he…

Roy doing the hand size thing you know the one: big

Donna: damnnnn

Garth (still very high has ascended to a 5th dimension can smell colors): the real reason oracle is in a wheelchair

Wally: *falls out of his chair*

Donna: GARTH

Roy: *burst out laughing*