Dick Now The Same Age Bruce Was When He Was Adopted, Now Executing 20 Perfect Backflips In A Row:

notes app dick and kory again

My friend claims it’s bc he’s such a huge feminist, has read all of the feminist literature books (he’s 6’4 btw)

So now bc he’s such a huge feminist he experiences periods so that he can t r u l y understand women (he’s 6’4 btw)

And I think that’s beautiful

i think anyone who’s interested in dick and bruce’s relationship should read batman/nightwing: bloodborne. even if you don’t read comics like that. even if you don’t care about them. it will change your life. it is one single issue and it will fuck you up for the rest of time i PROMISE. if you don’t know how to get the comic literally just ask me i will give you every link that exists to read it i’ve been spreading the gospel on twitter for months. PLEASE…. issue about dick having to save bruce at potentially the cost of his own life on the anniversary of the graysons dying… i’m sick

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

"I have depression." - character who has been through extensive therapy.

"I feel dead inside all the time and nothing helps!" - character who does like, regular introspective thinking and is aware of the concept of mental health.

"Leave me the fuck alone I'll be fine once I get over my stupid shit." - repressed character.

"It's fine I'm just having an Empty Time. What? Yeah, empty times, you know, when everything is like bzzzzzz in your brain and you don't shower for two weeks. Why, what do you call it?" - ooooughhh now we're talkin

Imagine Dick actually adopted Jason. Like that's so chaotic— especially when Jason comes back from the dead.

12 year old Jason: Hey, Dick? Since I'm adopted by you, does that mean you're my father?

18 year old Dick: ...I'm still too young to called dad so no, I'm just your legal guardian.

Jason: Okay, dad.

Dick, tearing up: Please no.

——————

Jason after resurrection as Red Hood: I am your son.

Dick dating Wally: Tf?????? How would I— JASON?

——————

Bruce: All of you are my sons.

Jason: Technically, I'm your grandson.

Damian and Tim: ?????? What.

Dick: Technically he's right. You've been a grandpa since I was 18.

Bruce: ...Fuck, I forgot about that.

Damian and Tim: WHAT THE FUCK?????

——————

Bruce and Jason arguing:

Bruce: You're grounded!

Jason: TF? You're not my dad, Dick is!

Dick: Please, for the last time, I'm not really your dad.

Jason's dramatic ass: GASPS?! I'M ADOPTED?!

Who the fuck forgot to tell me that humanities and social sciences are fun??? Like I decided to take gender studies for funsies as an elective. YALL?? This shit is so accessible?? And nice???

Like they explain the theories to you in the same book and have references and citations are simple and I don’t need to Google to understand???

They don’t make memorize 500 brain areas and randomly critique capitalism as if it’s like a normal fucking thing that is known and okay and not out there I love you social sciences.

wtf do you mean academia can be accessible and fun and I don’t need to be on 60 milligrams of Ritalin to pass an exam bc my brain can’t focus this is PEAK

Fuck stem this is unfair

The funniest aspect of a child crime fighter is that sometimes they’re going to run into something that makes no sense because they don’t have the life experience. Because they’re nine.

Like Robin runs into a guy who works for The Penguin and the guy just throws his hands up like, “Don’t hit! I’m not an enforcer. I’m an accountant.”

Robin:

Robin, squaring up: I don’t know what that is.

Dick and the fab 5s most recent texts 2 each other and their names for each other (this is canon in my heart)

Dick & Don

Light of my life: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Soul Sister: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Light of my life: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Soul Sister: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Light of my life: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Soul Sister: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Dick & Roy

Reckless idiot ❤️: what are you doing rn

Reckless idiot 💙: dw about it

Reckless idiot ❤️: don’t make me come over there

Reckless idiot 💙: nah fr don’t worry about

Reckless idiot ❤️: I am worrying

Reckless idiot 💙: not your job

Reckless idiot❤️: 100% my job what. are. you. doing

Reckless idiot 💙 is offline

Reckless idiot ❤️: okay can’t tell if this is a work or personal crisis so I’ll bring both duffels or you can hop back on here and tell me wtf is up.

Reckless idiot ❤️: both it is

Dick and Wally:

Hubby: kids birthday is tomorrow

Been there done that: yeah I remember dw I ordered catering to your place

Hubby: marry me

Been there done that: ask your wife

Hubby: she said yes see you in Vegas next Friday

Been there done that: can’t, busy next Friday, Monday?

Hubby: got a little leagues game to watch

Been there done that: hmm next time our schedules r free

Hubby: so never :(

Been there done that: 💔💔💔💔

Dick & Garth

Boy Wonderful: hey are we seeing you tonight?

My common sense: wouldn’t miss it dw

Boy Wonderful: if I have kids and you only show up to birthdays I’d hunt you down

My common sense: if you had kids we’d reform the titans and keep them locked up with you and us forever so we didn’t have to deal with ur dad to see our baby

Boy wonderful: our baby ?

My common sense: the Titans would commandeer the baby, ours now

Boy wonderful: I have a baby = communist uprising got it

Dick Grayson absolutely pulled off the mullet and the suit and we all know it stop lying to yourselves