Guy Who’s About To Have The Worst 30 Years Of His Life

I remember drawing this parody around 2012-2013 on Tumblr? This was when Gravity Falls hype was still ongoing. Good times. 

I like to think there's at least one person in the Gravity Falls universe that's obsessed with lost media and old telephone product commercials. Imagine someone updating the lost media wiki on StanCo products and commercials. Trying to link all the different identities of Stan Pines. Only to find out he died in a mysterious car crash that left no body? Imagine the drama, the niche YouTube videos. The concerns for this person who's oddly obsessed over a decade old scam company.

"You are a dumber, sweatier version of him."

Ford and Stan conformed to society's expectations of twins and their individual pursuits throughout their entire lives. Ford is the talented, gifted academic. We know he can play piano extremely well. His abilities aren't restricted to the sciences obviously. In contrast, Stan is demoted as the less intelligent, less gifted twin. In many cases, especially in his father's treatment of him, he's perceived as the dumb twin.

After listening the GF commentary podcast and rewatching the show, we've all come to the general consensus that Stan isn't dumb. Stan can't be dumb. He lacks Ford's academic gifts but is able to recreate the portal using advanced sciences, maths, and etc. This man who didn't finish high school at best is able to understand and recreate the concepts his brother included in his journal.

The more I read and rewatch I can only assume Stan has some kind of learning disability that went undiagnosed. Let's not forget, Stan and Ford were likely born in the 1950s. There were not many resources for children living with dyslexia or adhd or add or any person living outside the "norm." Or he was lazy, felt defeated in trying to make good grades especially after what his dad when he got an F-.

They can never make me like you, Filbrick Elmer Pines. If he has no haters, then I'm dead.

While I don't want to say Ford treated Stan like he was dumb, he treated Stan as if he was less intelligent than him. Stan used to cheat off of his tests in school. We saw that. This behavior is another parallel/contrast between Mabel and Dipper. It highlights how close they are and how well they understand each other.

In Journal 3 Dipper says, "Can be a real friend when she's not doing one of her bits. She's smarter than people give her credit for, and often acts the way she does just to drive me insane."

This isn't to imply their dynamic is perfect. It isn't perfect. There are bumps and a few potholes in the roads, but Dipper always treats Mabel as an intelligent person, knows she sleeps on her own gifts so she can do her bits. The difference between Ford and Stan is that I don't think Ford wanted to accept Stan's gifts and would only begrudgingly internally.

The show doesn't highlight Mabel being treated as the dumb twin. She's treated as the silly twin with more emotional intelligence than Dipper. She can be selfish, but she's also considered more mature than Dipper. Hirsch definitely sees her as more mature in a way to Dipper.

The parallels are simply so beautiful to me. I appreciate how they're not 1:1 parallels, y'know. They can fit in each various slots but serve similar roles for each other.

please look at my new stupid child thank you

Man though you know what makes me sorta sad is when nerdy, “quiet” kids latch on to me during camp and they just talk and talk and talk about a thing they’re into (Skyrim, Pokemon, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, dinosaurs, whatever). And I see the kids just light up when they say something and I can chime in with an ‘oh hey, are you talking about [x]? I love that thing! Tell me more about it.’

Like, their parents will warn me ‘so-and-so is pretty quiet and hard to engage’ but no, man, just listen, your kid is so smart and so into This Thing, they’ll engage like fuck and talk your damn ear off it you let them. Frame it in their damn terms. Or! Just! Listen to them about their Thing! And they will engage with the rest of the material! Because they know you care about them! Amazing!!!

Sometimes, often a lot of the time, the little things won’t fix your trauma. They won’t cure your mental illness. But a lot of the time, they can make the world a bit of a nicer place to live in. And I think that makes them worth doing.

So, go for a walk outside. Feel the fresh air. Feel the sun in your face. Step on a crunchy leaf. Smell the ocean breeze. Listen to the birds. Blow on a dandelion and make a wish. Watch the clouds and notice the shapes.

Do whatever little things bring you joy. They’re worth doing.

My boyfriend won’t stop talking to me about whether or not I would eat Pokémon steaks. We think maybe Mr. Mime steaks would have white meat and ooze a purple liquid. I feel like you’re the only one qualified to tell us more

listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning

luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps

once theyve been safely removed from their inedible surroundings, the larger red spheres are ready to begin working with - its worth noting that the smaller spots on the hands and cheeks also fall into this category, but theyre almost always too small to be considered harvesting by most professionals 

youll want to start by cutting away any flesh thats still directly touching the pale parts; when in doubt, a wider cut is always preferred. better safe than sorry ! one benefit of working with mr mimes is that, along with many others in their typing, their bodies are held together with physic energy and thus dont require deboning

the next part is going to require boiling in a large pressure cooker- some may find it a challenge to to find a pot big enough to host all the parts, so cooking them individually is fine. remember to follow the instructions to the letter

after theyve been removed and dried, an easy way to text if theyre safe to eat is to cut them in half and check the spongy center - a darkened purple core means theyve been boiled long enough, while any lighter, greenish tints means you probably needed a bit more time

once theyre out of the danger range, you can now safely use them in variety of dishes ! their almost mushroom-like texture means they absorb flavors well, and pictured above is one of my personal favorites

THIS guy though, you can just pop em into your mouth whole. its fine

forgive yourself for making the wrong choice during a tough time