We Played Mouthwashing!

"I think I'll do some drawing today!"

Cat:

November came in like the first freeze of winter. Beautiful, but cold and frustrating. I didn't take time to prepare for the change of autumn into winter. I didn't concern myself with the shortening of days and the long stretches of night. This led me into a whirlwind of panic and November clung to me like ice.

December won't be "my month", but it will be a collection of days I will work through bravely. I will continue to move forward and I know I will trip and stumble, but I have to keep my head up and I can't let those moments hold me back.

So I hope all of you welcome this final month of 2024 and all of its challenges. I hope you hold onto the happy memories of this year and use them as your strength while we coast into the next.

It is December 26th, 2024 and I have fully filled two journals I've owned since at least 2019. From front to back they are filled with random things that crossed my mind, notes of my interests, and things I never felt safe to share.

I am proud of filling them. Proud they are no longer blank pages. Excited to start in the next.

I have learned so much about myself since I started my journey of self discovery and self love in September. I am such a unique, smart, and thoughtful individual, but I am sure everyone says that about themselves. There's so much I have to learn about myself and so much I want to accomplish. I have to work on how I set and approach goals, but that's a challenge I welcome.

I am starting to slowly understand myself and I am so excited to meet me.

Leriff by @aerynnyx! Thank you again for this cute little guy for @notleriff.

My Values.

What do you hold sacred/value above all else? How do these values translate to actions and our daily lives?

Love To love is in the nature of all things. Everything seeks to be loved and all also give love, whether it be to another being or an object. It is love that creates. Without love, we are solitary; alone. Nothing is meant to exist alone. Communication, time shared together, gift giving, physical touch.

Nature If the natural world suffers, all do. It is by the grace of the Earth, itself, that we are able to live. By neglecting nature and all that exists within it, we are erasing not only our future, but the future of the planet. Maintaining gardens for pollinators, picking up trash, creating less waste.

Kindness We exist in the same plane and each of us has our own struggles. There is no need or reason to make someone's existence more difficult. A little bit of kindness can change someone's existence. Volunteering, saying thank you, helping someone else reach a goal.

Creativity To create is to bring about life. Art, literature, music, food, and theater all represent life and experiences. I believe we all desire to create, to express ourselves in various manners through different mediums, to leave a bit of ourselves with others so that we might exist in diverse ways. Writing, cooking, putting on makeup.

Remember to reevaluate values and actions at the turn of the year!

Perhaps I am starting too many things at once.

I wish to find my place in my spirituality, but at the same time I wonder if my heritage would offer me anything. I am half Mexican/half Caucasian, but I was raised Caucasian and had little to no contact with my Hispanic family after the age of 3. Because of this... I know nothing about my Mexican bloodline.

I do not know anything about the culture, the beliefs, the celebrations, very little about the food, and I can barely speak Spanish. I want to get in touch with these roots, also. Part of me feels that I am too late, however, and pushes back against it.

How do I even start? Where do I begin? Do I postpone my spiritual journey and focus on my heritage instead? I am overwhelming myself, as I often do, and these past two weeks have been rather awful... it's all compounding and I don't know what to do to get back on my feet.

When the neighbor's cat comes running to welcome you home, walks you to the door, then tries to come in with you. I am the Cat Lady. I guess I got adopted.

I feel very overwhelmed.

While researching and trying to learn, I have discovered there are many paths in paganism that I feel would fit me. But I cannot be all of them at once, can I? I see many people saying "take what fits and work with that!" but I have always been very structure abiding. I want something that is laid out for me plainly and guides me. I need something that is set and allows me to follow a plan.

I feel a bit anxious. I do not want to cause offense, I don't want to do things "wrong", and though the community seems to believe there "is no wrong way", I am not imaginative enough to create by myself.

I am causing myself stress over trying to find peace.

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.

Leriff Anduion (@notleriff) and Yurah Tsukino by amaipetisu