A Porcupine’s Halloween Present (+ Original Sound Effects)

where is the boothill ace content

Hahah okay here’s a better video I know I sound out of breath, my tea was ready and I had to run into the kitchen to turn off the stove. PROOF

gojo, or as the mortals called him, hades, had a problem.

he’s had no issues with women, none whatsoever. being part of the big three meant that with his title (and riches) people flocked to get his attention.

and sure, years ago he didn’t care about who’s attention he was on the receiving end of. he had no feelings attached when it came to this sort of thing.

but he feels helpless now.

and he knows he can’t do anything to solve it.

the meadows were warm with a breeze summer could bring. the gods were known for their temperament, so the humans cherished what they could.

your mother was known for bringing their harvest and crops, and you watched from the fields with your nymph friends as the flowers bloomed and blossomed.

gojo watched from afar as you laughed with your girls, your head tilting back as you covered your mouth.

you were perfect and unattainable.

and not because he was the certain god of death that everyone feared, or because you were a devout follower of artemis. but because your mother swarmed off any man who dared approach you. and gojo understood, men were vile and filthy creatures.

but he was no man.

you look up suddenly, to where he was, eyes scrunching as you look from across the field, squinting to see if there was a certain sense of difference around there.

“my lady? what’s wrong?” one of the nymphs asked worriedly after you went silent.

you purse your lips, seeing nothing near the trees, just rows and rows of flowers.

you shrug, looking back at them as if nothing happened.

“nothings wrong,” you wave off, smiling, “must’ve been the wind.”

you look back to the flowers, some yellow, some pink, but one lone red that swayed with the breeze.

strange, you thought, that wasn’t there before.

you go back to talking, laughing along with their stories as you try not to think about the flower,

and gojo, the god of the underworld, tries not to think about you.

one thing about satoru gojo is that he's a freak.

he'll try anything once, and then three more times for good measure. anything! as long as it ends with him emptying his balls, prefer on or inside of you, he's a very happy man to entertain your weird requests.

this, though, is too weird!

"you want to have vanilla sex?" he gawks at you.

you're laying back on his bed, bare and smiling up at him as he climbs over you. he's hard, sure, but he's not flooded with the excitement of your usual ideas.

"why don't i put the collar back on?" he suggests tapping the tip of your nose. "oh! or we could play with those candles again... or you could make me squirt... no? roleplay? anal? some music, at least?"

you shake your head, and if you weren't so damn cute satoru might be more upset than he is. "you know," you start, "plenty of couples have plain sex regularly. i just want to feel you."

"we aren't like most couples," he grimaces. "im the strongest. and you're the sexiest. i don't think she's physically capable of having boring sex with you, baby."

"stop calling your dick a she," you stare up at him. "please? you said you'd try anything."

satoru kisses your lips gently, as boringly as he can do without getting too worked up. you are naked underneath him, after all. "i said that hoping you'd propose pegging me. or letting me put that dildo of yours down your throat while i—"

"just fuck me," you whisper.

and because satoru is secret a lover before he is a freak, he complies. with a gentle nod and a few seconds to line himself up with you, he pushes inside and lets you lock your legs around his waist before he starts a gentle pace with you.

it feels good, of course, it's you. but there's something sweet to the way he fucks you— no, makes love to you, that isn't there when gags and blindfolds and candle wax are in the way. it's just you and him, eyes locked as he becomes whole with you in the most intimate way possible.

he realises, when your eyes flutter shut and you pull him impossibly closer to whisper sweet nothings in his ear, that he might just like boring sex.

"i love you so much," he coos. "like having you like this. just us. god i love you, baby. i think i needed this."

the two of you cum in sync with eachother. you shake and tighten around his cock and he spills into you with sweet moans that sound a little more raw and vulnerable than they usually do. he kisses you silly, peppers his lips all over your face until you're laughing underneath him.

and he pulls back to look at your face, and nods to himself. you smile, and push his white hair out of his face with a gentle tilt of your head.

"what's that look for?" you ask.

and that's when you notice the tears welling in his eyes. the tremble of his lip as he recognises a million different feelings at once. and with a sniffle, and a shaky breath, he grins.

"let's get married."

Who are we fighting for?  Hufflepuff, we’re the guys who know our stuff  Who are we flying for?  Hufflepuff, if necessary we’ll play rough  Who are we fighting for?  Hufflepuff, we’re the ones that are nice and tough!!

GO GO, GO BADGERS, GO GO, GO BADGERS!!

@emerald-wolfe your just jealous of my mighty Hufflepuff pride!!

HBP: How did Harry not realize the hand writing in the Half-blood Prince's potion book was the same as the hand writing he had spent 5 years reading off a black board?

#because Harry’s a stupid bitch that’s why

#For the main character of such a good book series #He really is a dumbshit #Ooh what is this long skinny broomstick shaped package? #ITS A BROOMSTICK NO WAY

#Slytherin house is a snake #heir of slytherin can talk to snakes #HMM I WONDER WHAT’S IN THE FUCKING CHAMBER OF SECRETS #MAYBE IT’S A FUCKING CHIHUAHUA #see this is why he’s not in ravenclaw

LOVE THIS

It got better.

Just an amazing 200 years old secretary cabinet

@fall out boy thanks for inventing the 4th of july

Murphy’s law, applied to fanfics.

- The fic starts out great, nice style, language, captivating summary. It’s unfinished and has been abandoned since 2013.

- The fic is complete, nice style, language, tons of kudos speak for themselves. It’s about your NOTP.

- The fic is about your OTP,  it’s complete, it’s kinky as hell. The plot is absolutely dumbass.

- The plot sounds great, it’s about your OTP, it’s complete. The characters are horribly OOC.

 - Everything is perfect in this fic, starting from the first letter and ending with the last full stop. It’s exactly 800 words long.

- The fic’s word count is a six-figure number, it’s about your OTP, characters are compliant with your head-canon. It’s dull and boring as seven hells.

- The beginning is enthralling, everything’s great, the plot, the style, it’s long and it’s even about your OTP. It features something that makes you close the tab as soon as you open it, like father/daughter incest or mpreg or some other squicky thing. 

- Everything is perfect in this fic, the length, the characters, the language, the style, you forget you’re reading fanfic, thinking it’s a masterpiece of true literature, you cry tears of joy and write a huge review full of gushing love and then rush to the author’s profile to read every other thing they’ve written. It’s their only work.

Remember When?

Remember when you saw that trailer, and you thought “I’m gonna go see that movie”?

Remember when you passed by that book, and you thought “I’m gonna read that book”?

Remember when you saw that sneak peek, and you thought “I’m gonna watch that TV show”?

Remember when you walked into that theater, seeing what would grow to be your favorite movie for the first time?

Remember when you sat down on that couch, preparing to read the first sentence of the book that would soon crush your heart?

Remember when you auto tuned that show, unaware that this would soon become your life?

Remember when you watched the credits roll across the screen, in time with the possible tears rolling down your cheeks?

Remember when you read that last paragraph, and closed the book to sit in awe, sadness, wonder?

Remember that first season finale, the finale that tore apart your insides and left you with the worst cliffhanger?

As the final movie, the final book, the final episode draws near, do you remember those days, the days before the movie, before the book, before the show?

Do you remember when you fell in love?

—– Dedicated to the Gravity Falls fandom, who just went through a heart-wrenching finale. To the Maze Runner fandom, who waits in anxious dread for their final movie. To the How To Train Your Dragon fandom, who waits in reserved silence for the third movie to destroy them. And to all fandoms, anywhere, everywhere, that have experienced the pain, longing, loss, happiness, excitement, and joy of being a part of something incredible.