Thank You For Tagging Me @imlovelace

Forgive me for all the things I did, but mostly for the ones that I did not.

- The Secret History by Donna Tartt

the secret history changed my brain chemisty

whether it was for the better or the worse, we will never truly know

'My God! A whole minute of bliss! Is that really so little for the whole of a man's life?'

- White Nights by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I may look fine but deep down I wanna do this.

Sometimes I think about how different some books would be if they had been written by other authors.

For instance, if sylvia plath had written tsh it would've been in camilla's pov and everything would have been so much more unhinged. We'd get more of bunny's daddy issues and francis would've tried committing suicide back when henry told him he liked gucci.

i can be trusted on a nature walk i promise. i promise i will stay on the trail and will not run off into the forest never to be seen again i promise

What's so upsetting is that the very thing which Qala wanted to prove her mom that women have ambitions of their own and are capable of achieving their own kind of gets lost in this seemingly unending effort.

Her mom believes that to sing in the showbiz is indicative of loose character and she... well had to go to extreme lengths to get where she was...

So in the process of proving her mom wrong she kind prolly went along the lines of why her mom said that. And it's so sad that she was always forced into this competition to prove all these notions wrong and in this unhealthy race had to lose her ideals and the One person she truly *cared* about

"Everybody talks about cutting people off....But nobody talks about the grief that comes with having to stand firm on that decision knowing it's not what you wanted but what was necessary for your well- being."

~Anonymous

I hate the phrase 'romanticising life' and 'figuring out your twenties' and 'its fine to be confused' because i have realized that these phrases are a privilege. I am not allowed to be confused. I am not allowed to continue to figure out my twenties. i should have it already figured out. It doesn't matter if i am only twenty and not even a graduate. i should know what i want for my future and stick to it. I am not allowed to romanticize my life because there is nothing to romanticize except for stress and tension.