Latest Posts by everything-tony-feared - Page 2

Hint.

You are a dying star.

Long may she reign. 

So I finally graduated high school and now i’ve been accepted into going to the university of performing arts in New Zealand. Im very greatful for all the things I have accomplished and i’d like to thank Sebastian Stan. I’ve looked up to him as an inspiration to follow my dreams into becoming an actor and I think he’s a really great talented actor who deserves an Oscar.

Woohoo goodbye 13 years of schooling and hello to the adult world😌🏫📓

Oooh, insp for a new fic! #tony!whump

when u scratch a cat’s chin and they lift their head up reblog if u agree

jack & diane

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes/Darcy Lewis For:  @phoenix-173 Prompt:  Phone Sex Operator AU

Bucky stared at the business card in his hand, half in disbelief that he was even considering doing this, and half in blind excitement at what was about to happen.  

It was true, it had been a while for him. For a lot of things.  

Sex.  Emotional connections.

He’d had the card for Clandestine Calls for a while now, but hadn’t felt the need to use it until recently.  He hadn’t had a reason to fix this part of himself.

But he’d felt a twinge of something the other day.  A twinge of something akin to attraction. For a woman.  A woman he knew, and thought highly of. Someone he respected.  And he’d panicked.  He’d absolutely panicked.       

And this?  This didn’t feel as cringey (or illegal) as hiring an actual…call girl would be.  It was just practice.

Or at least, that’s what he was telling himself as he logged into the website.

And he wouldn’t even have to engage in anything sexual. And if he wanted, he could just hang up.  And these women wouldn’t hold it against him.  No one was getting hurt.  

Except, possibly, his credit card balance.

A chat window popped up immediately.  Someone from customer service wanting to help him through the process.

Whether it was a bot or a real person, the rep was nice, informative.  They explained the blocks of time he could choose from.  The first was five minutes.  The second, an extension to seven, the third, an extension to twelve and so on. He chose the seven minute block to start, mostly because he wasn’t sure if he was even going to do anything this time around.  But five seemed too short a time to decide.

An extra two minutes, though.  That was apparently where the magic happened.  

He was directed to a payment page, where he gave his credit card information.  So his real name was attached to this account.  But that was something to be kept secret, apparently.  This company prided themselves on their ability to keep things confidential.  Because the next question after he entered his credit card info was what he’d prefer to be called.  

Jack, he’d typed, coming up with the name out of necessity because he suddenly couldn’t think of anything besides his real name.

Your consultant’s name is ‘Diane’, have a good time.

A number was listed below.

Diane.  

Most assuredly a fake name.  As fake as ‘Jack’ was, at any rate.

Jack & Diane.  

Kind of funny, now that he thought about it.

Possibly to be continued as long as no one else is writing anything similar…

Darcy and Bucky. 60: Before you decide to murder me, let me explain...

“Damn neat freak. Why can’t he just leave things out where I need them?” Darcy muttered as she shuffled through Steve’s desk as carefully as possible. If she’d had more time to take photo evidence and ensure she put everything back where it was, she would have. But she’d only been able to convince Nat to kick Steve’s ass for two bouts in the ring, maybe three tops. She didn’t want to encourage too much saltiness between teammates, after all.

“I don’t know if it’s the army or your own tight-assed nature Steve, but why the hell do you have to hide your stuff?”

He’d let her go through his sketches a week earlier and she’d found it. The perfect image she needed for her next attack on Sam. Steve had doodled him as a pin-up model, flirty posture, heels and everything. And it was the exact logo she needed to brand her new assault. Literally. If only Steve hadn’t taken away the notebook as soon as he heard her mildly evil chuckle. Spoilsport. 

If she could just find the damn sketchbook.

She had just started gently rifling through the sock drawer when there was a soft click and the door swung open behind her. Her hands clenched and she plastered a placating smile on as she turned her head. But her teasing cajole died in her throat. That wasn’t Stevie Wonder Boy at the door.

It was Bucky.

Shit.

“Before you decide to murder me, let me explain…”

Keep reading

I wrote 'Accidental' Assault on my tablet and I'm really afraid that typing the last part will be lost to tumblr's app crashes.. 😃😂😢 But it'll be up in the next 3 hours

Accidental Assault (Bucky x Reader) Fluff & Angst - Part 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

WARNINGS: Somewhat gratuitous violence towards the ex-bf. It's more explicit than overkill. Also a fair amount of cussing in the first half. Cheating.

Thinking it would be nice,

you returned home with Jerry's favourite coffee, a cheesecake, and some burritos. Nothing could have broken your spirit. Not only had Fury given you a raise, Clint and Laura were expecting! You'd be an aunt! You hadn't asked but if Tony was going to be an uncle, you would damn well get to be an aunt.

"Jay? Babe, I have burritos!"

Silence greeted you. Frowning, you hummed curiously. He was supposed to be home, wasn't he? Crap. You checked your watch as you slid the goods onto the coffee table. No, no, you were right. Where was he?

"Babe?" You called again, walking towards the room. Maybe he was in the shower.

Pushing the bedroom door open, giggling greeted your ears.

"Ba.."

Entwined on the bed like some Peruvian romance painting was Jerry and a blonde woman you'd never seen before.

What?

You couldn't move. You were frozen. This can't be right. 'Am I in the right apartment?' You thought, taking a step back. Same dresser, same bed, same gaudy lamp you bought for a buck fifty.

"Shit!" Jerry hissed, struggling to get out from the twisted heap of your lovely egyptian cotton sheets. They were your favourite. And now they're tangled in between this woman's legs.

She was beautiful, really. Long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a beauty mole just below her lips. Jerry looked good. All hot and bothered. And look, he's even still hard. Wait, he's saying something.

What's your name again?

"-Y/N, seriously, come on. Hello??"

You stared at him. Jerry. Right. Your bed.

"Babe, this is totally worse than it looks. Uh, Jasm-"

Snapping, you tensed up like a rabid dog and found your arm slowly moving towards his perfect face. Jerry.

Jerry's head snapped back violently with a spray of blood erupting from his nose. Jasmawhatever shrieked, trying to get out from your sheets, and started spiting slurs at you.

"You slut, what the fuck?!" She screamed as she managed to clamber out of the bed and stumble towards you. Idly you noticed she had almost ridiculously large breasts. Huh.

Struggling on the floor, Jerry gasped and hissed in pain, clutching his prett- ugly ass face as he stood up.

"Y/N, fuck, what the hell is WRONG WITH YOU?" he spluttered. Blood dripped from between his fingers and spilled down his chest. In the back of your mind part of you laughed as some of it landed on the tip of his dick.

"What's wrong with me?" You questioned, puzzled. Is there something wrong with me..

And then everything became clear again. Jerry, the son-of-a-bitch was cheating on you. In your apartment. In your bed. ON YOUR NICE SHEETS.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" you screamed, voice cracking. Reering back to balance on the balls of your feet, you almost laughed. It came out manic and hysterical.

"HELLO, MOTHERFUCKER!" you screamed again, this time purposefully and deliberately arching your arm back to suckerpunch him. Natasha had shown you the best way to lay out an enemy, and now, as far as you are concerned, Jerry is the fucking enemy.

Your fist cracked against his head again, loud enough that even you winced, and he crumpled to the floor with a pitiful yelp. Behind him the blonde woman cried out and rushed to catch him, missing. She crouched naked, fussing over him for a moment before she looked up at you, clearly deliberating over fight or flight.

Numbly, yet bitter and vaguely enraged, you stared at her blankly.

"Come on, come on," she hurridly whispered to him, trying to pull him up. They struggled, with Jerry moaning into his hand, and 'Jasma' weakly trying to lift him. They managed to stand, and then hurried to the door, fleeing from the room. You stayed, staring at the droplets of blood on the floor.

There was a crash from the living room and you supposed Jerry had just fallen onto your glass coffee table, breaking it. Another prized possession destroyed by Jerry.

"Oh, and uh, what's ya name again?" The woman yelled sarcastically, "Oh yeah, (incorrect name) we'll see you in court, you homewrecking bitch!"

Then the front door slammed.

Homewrecking. How funny..

--

The next thing you see is a short, squat man tapping the bars before you impatiently.

"Finally," he muttered to himself, "Hurry up, kid. Your bail posted."

Bail? Wait, WHAT?

"B-bail..? What?" You spluttered, rocking to your feet unsteady and dazed. "Are these bars?!?"

"Jesus chriist," the man sighed, rolling his eyes before he reached out and yanked you from the cell you were apparently confined in. Stumbling into his chest before you lurched away, you ended up crashing back into the bars with a wince.

"Your bail posted," the man said slowly. You notice he's wearing a blue uniform and has a badge on his laple. Fuck. Jerry. That's right.

You nodded numbly.

"Your ride is here. I'm going to take you to the front desk, and then uncuff you. You will then be free to leave. Understand?"

Fucking Jerry that bastard. He'll see you in court? Fine, you'll mail him exorbitant bills for all your hard earned housewares he'd broken while frolicking with goldilocks. You could probably smash a few things up and add it to the bill. You didn't want to keep anything he'd ever touched anyway.

"Right, okay." You croaked, throat parched.

He pursed his lips before leading the way to a small office area, where he uncuffed you and told you to sign some papers. You should probably read them but you just wanted to leave at this point.

"This way," the man sighed again, unlocking a heavy steel door. He must really hate his job..

Stepping out into the station foyer, you stood unsure what to do.

"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said dryly before he slammed the door behind you.

Great. You don't know where you are, you probably look like a lunatic, and your feet are cold. Where are your shoes??

A low whistle caught your attention. Great, now some jackas-

Bucky Barnes stood leaning against a wall, staring at you bemused.

Even worse.

"You are not a sight for sore eyes," he remarked, taking in your appearance. There was a tinted window next to him but you feared seeing your reflection so stayed away.

"Fuck you, Barnes," you spat.

His face twitched, and you couldn't tell if it was amusement or anger. Sighing, your head dropped in shame.

"I'm sorry, sorry.."

Barnes pushed off to the wall and walked to you until he was so close you could see his boots. You refused to look up.

"What was that?" He asked innocently.

Groaning, wishing your hair wasn't knotted up into a painful bun and instead could hide your enflamed face,

"I'm sorry," you croaked pitifully.

He half huffed, half chuckled before shaking his head.

"Aight, doll, come on," he said, gently grasping your shoulder and steering you towards the station doors. Stepping out, you breathed in the city fumes greedily.

"To your apartment, or..?" Bucky trailed off, eyeing you carefully. You still refused to look at him, obviously ashamed. He didn't know what to do. All Stark had said was that you were at the station and he had to pay off the officers not to charge you with assault. When Bucky tried to pry for more information Stark had just shaken his head and said to ask you himself. He planned to but now didn't seem like the best time.

When you had stepped out from the booking bay, he had been shocked. Normally your hair is perfectly groomed, never a hair out of place, and yet right now it was in a messy bun and curling around your face. You looked gaunt and pale, clearly upset, and a small splattering of blood could be found on your white blouse. And to top it off, you had no shoes.

Bucky had figured something bad must have happened. Considering your lab tech status and general passive if not sweet nature, anything violent was more than out of sorts. So surely, whoever you had supposedly assaulted deserved it right? His stomach twisted painfully at the thought that you may have been in danger. He was dying to know but it would have to wait.

Unfortunately, Bucky had walked the two blocks from the tower.

"I'll call a cab," he eventually said when he recieved no response. That snapped you out of it.

You shook your head, "No, no. It's only like, two blocks or something to the tower. I'll be fine."

He nodded uncertainly, wishing you meet his eyes. "Not your apartment then?"

"Nope," you replied, popping the 'p'.

Silence reigned as the two of you walked, Bucky carefully shadowing your every step and examining the footpath for anything sharp or dangerous. Once you arrived and ascended in the elevator, it became awkward.

"Stark has free rooms ready," Bucky grumbled, staring at your reflection in the shining elevator walls.

His eyes burned into you like an itch, making you want to cry and scream and tell him just how much of an ass Jerry is. But he wouldn't care. You barely knew each other despite seeing him most days. You'd even designed the upgrades for arm, but somewhat socially nervous, had insisted Cho be the one to fit them.

"Okay..um," you cleared your throat, finally looking at him in aprehension, "Is there.. ah, I dunno, somewhere I can go for a bit where I won't be bothered.. I know at least Cho will come and pester me, and I just.." You sighed through your nose, wanting nothing more than a warm blanket and a bottle of wine.

Bucky's lips twisted as he thought about it, while you silently urged him to think of somewhere, anywhere, away from prying eyes. The residents of the tower, Avengers or genius scientists alike, may mean well but right now you just couldn't do it.

"Well.."

"Please," you begged, hating the desperation in your voice.

"Only," he began, head cocking to the side. It seemed playful, but why? "If you tell me why you were arrested."

Which is exactly what you didn't want to do. The one thing you absolutely didn't want to do. And yet you absolutely wanted to be alone and calm. Weighing the options in your head, you considered Barnes, unintentionally scrutinising him,

He's not really the conversational type, doesn't gossip, definitely has his own demons and likes privacy. He had picked you up, too.. oh god, he didn't pay your bail, did he? Oh please no. Stark, Cho, fucking Peter, anyone but a guy you'd spoken all of ten words to prior to today.

Slumping, you agreed.

Pleased, he smiled at you. "Follow me."

--

Now seated in his apartment with a warm afghan around your shoulders, you stared at him. He stared back. You drained your glass of water, wondering who would crack first.

A minute passed and you had to accept it was you.

"Alright, what do you want to know..?"

He smiled at you. It was relaxing. You tried to smile back but you were sure you looked more frightening than friendly.

He leaned back, sinking into the couch, and for the first time you could really see him. Despite your interactions in the lab, which really constituted "Morning." and "Here you go, Mr Barnes." you had never really taken him in. If you thought of him, it was more of a shadow. Tall, menacing- although you'd never really been intimidated- and with his ridiculously broad shoulders and bulging muscles, very attractive. But it was his wolfish eyes, slight aftershadow, and shoulder length hair that you'd never quite seen before. Each time his file (the watered down, medical version) passed your desk, you'd only ever had the technicians focus on the man.

"I wish you'd been the one to smack him," you blurted. Your eyes went wide before you slapped your hands across your mouth. Crap.

His eye brows shot up. "So you did assault someone?" He asked incredulously.

"Uh."

He started laughing. "Seriously? Aight, start from the beginning."

You sighed once again.

After you were done, Bucky stared at you open mouthed. He was completely shocked. Not only was that just plain wrong, but he would have never done such a thing when he was a civilian. Heck, he wouldn't do that now. Being a ladies man was one thing but a relationship, especially an eight year one, was not something he could imagine using as some coy joke.

It hurt him, too. It hurt him to see you so upset, and it hurt him because.. because not only did you not deserve that, but he would never do that. Bucky would never do that to you. Never.

"You're fucking joking," he finally said.

You pursed your lips. "No, Mr Barnes, I am not fucking joking. And now I'm going to be charged with at least a misdemeanor, if not aggrivated assault." Moaning to yourself, you flopped backwards, eyeing the empty glass. What you'd do for a little wine.

@38leticia @purplekitten30 here you guys go! Part 2 up later.

Bucky Barnes/James Barnes/The Winter Soldier imagines

Hi all! This is a pretty long list of possible situations for you and our darlin' Plum. Feel free to use them however, and if possible, tag me! I love reading Bucky x Reader (or Bucky x Tony, ikik..) and there's just never enough of it around.

I'm thinking about doing some of these so let me know if you're interested in reading one!

You are a consultant on cultural behavior, which means you detail the best appearance, attitude, and quirks for an undercover agent to have. Given your indepth knowledge, Fury assigns you the arduous task of bringing Steve Rogers and James Barnes up to speed on history post-1949.

You have known Tony for 15 years. You were born on August 1st, 1980, and attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After the war, you found yourself numb and detached from life, with your only surviving close friends and family being Harry James Potter and Ron Weasley. After suffering through apathy and depression for five years, at the age of 23, you throw yourself through the Veil. Unsure if you will encounter a blissful void, screeching hellfire and your righteous maker, or some other world, you put all your belongings in an extended bag and welcome the final step. Funnily enough, you fell face-forward into a gutter. 15 years later, Tony calls on you to consult on the portals opening at random. Unsure what to expect, seeing as you are the last magical being on this earthly realm, you agree. What you find brings back memories of parseltongue, bloodquils, and man with 7 lives. Bucky x Reader.

Born into an impoverished family, Y/N Y/L/N is the last in a long line of witch-hunters. Your father was already well into his 60s when you were born, so when he passed, it was just your mother left to instill the family doctrine in you. Despite this all, you eventually turn to a life of normalcy, and become a historian specializing in occult artifacts (that's normal, right?). Stephen Strange is a close friend, and eventually asks you to help him in his research kickstarted by Jane Foster. You come into contact with all of the Avengers although you've barely held a conversation past "Hi, how ya doin'?". With Darcy as your new best friend, and her ridiculous affair with the God of Lies, you find yourself reciting the words your father had carved into his flesh. "For our King, our God, and the Righteousness of Divinity, may God have Mercy upon your Filthy Soul." Would be very interesting with a fictional twist on a religion or faith of your choosing. Bucky x Reader where eventually Reader is the only person in the tower/compound who can successfully defend herself against attacks by the supernatural without heavy firepower- Bucky being the exception of course. Horror!theme?

It had been a nice sunny day in Manhattan. You thought to yourself, "You know what, this is gelato weather. I deserve gelato." And instead you get shot by some asshole with a red star on his shirt, kidnapped by a blonde man with a shield, and then told it was your fault for telling the red star asshole to leave your landlord alone.

Peter thinks he's sly- that you don't know about his spandex-wearing cobwebby bullshit. Ha! You'd lived next door all your life. Your WINDOW faces his. Who does he think he's fooling? Doesn't matter, he got you into a Stark Expo VIP tour. But hey, that tall brooding dude looks like he needs a laugh. Wait, what do you mean you can't say "Who pissed in your cornflakes?" to the Winter Soldier? He's not the Winter Soldier, he- oh. Shit. Haaa..haha.. "PETER!!"

As Tony Stark's assistant, you've seen a lot of stuff. You've seen him butt naked, you've seen him so drunk he thought you were Rhodey (somehow), and you've even had your heart in his chest. You and he trust each other completely. One day, you get a call and it's a hospital in Y/Home/Town. They say your grandpa had a heart attack. And so you're on leave for 2 months making sure he's okay. Ol' Dirty Dugan doesn't go down easy. When you return, there is a strange split in the team. Tony spends even more time in his lab, he smells awful, and there's bags under his eyes. The team doesn't mention him and you notice they don't call him out for missions anymore. Wtf? After some digging you find out that Clint, Natasha, Steve, Sam, and Wanda are convinced Tony is a piece of shit. They think he's selfish, a coward, and a pervert, all because of misinformation and his public image. Hell fucking no. Thank god they thawed Barnes out, at least he isn't partaking in Bully-Tony-Tuesday. In fact.. he seems to be just as distant and despondent as Tony. You have a lot of work to do.

Bucky is your best friend. In the sense that, you don't have any real friends, and he doesn't let people close. But you bring him coffee, he shares his protein bars, and sometimes you two watch youtube together. Then one day an office clerk slaps your ass. What does Bucky do? He fractures the guys jaw.

"Happy Birthday to me. Happy birthday to me.. Happy Birthday, dear (Y/N), happy..birthday..to me.." Nobody remembered. Again. Your parents didn't call. Your sister didn't call. Your old friends didn't call. Nobody on the team said anything, but then again, they probably didn't know.. you are just a lab assistant anyway. Oh, well, Jarvis 2.0 did say Happy Birthday. That was nice. Bucky overheard Jarvis, though. So he goes out and buys some flowers, a bottle of sake, and a cheesecake. And then you cry and doesn't know why. Happy birthday to me. Oneshot. Fluffy angst.

They didn't know you were sick. None of them. You were conveniently out of town when the medical check ups took place, and never allowed the pain to show on your face. But one day at work you collapse, and they can't wake you up. Cho discovers you have kidney disease. You're dying and have been for a while. Tony pays top dollar for an immediate transplant, but it will still take a month or two. You used to have morning chats with Barnes after his run. You always were an early bird. But now he's on assignment somewhere secret, and you feel even more numb. Bucky couldn't handle the thought that you'd die (you won't but he doesn't know that), so he runs. He runs and immerses himself in a mission, believing you'd never feel the same way.

You came home and discovered your boyfriend of eight years in bed with a woman you'd never seen before. Turns out they'd been having a secret affair for nearly 5 years. You are arrested for punching him in the face- not that you remember, you blacked out in rage- and humourously enough, Barnes is the one who collects you from the station. It's okay, you hadn't been in love with Jerry for a long time, but it still hurt. So when you see Jerry with his 'side chick' three months later, you also discover Bucky had a sense of humour. Apparently you're now married to James Barnes, have been for a while, and are pregnant. Of course you're not but somehow Bucky knew just what to say and do to piss Jerry right off.

Fading (Part 3)

Summary: Bucky needs to forget for one night, while you come to a gripping realization.

Word Count: 1773

Warnings: angst, swearing, 1 tiny mention of cocaine (“the butterflies whipping around as if on cocaine,”), heavily implied smut, anxiety attack

A/N: Just a quick note; if you guys want to be tagged in anything, please send me asks instead of comments because asks are easier to keep up with :)

Part 1   Part 2

”That’s what it is Y/N! There’s always something wrong with you! You’re so goddamn clingy, will you just back the fuck off?!”

Keep reading

your problematic favs on christmas:

NAT: the drunk af aunt who spills gov secrets and her drink but still looks classy af

VISION: awkward uncle who stands under the mistletoe in an ugly christmas sweater mumbling about symbolic foliage and its origins, wants to kiss Mysterious fam friend

TONY: wasted cousin from out of town who invited himself, spikes the eggnog with asgards strongest booze and trips over his own feet as he slurs and butchers Oh Holy Night

PEPPER: Wasted cousins wine drunk gf, rearranges vegetable platters to be symmetrical, smells good, only eats organic food

CLINT: second cousin twice removed, sneaks bites from the food before it’s time to eat, disappears into the woods for half a day with nothing but a bow and three arrows

WANDA: mysterious fam friend who carries a knife and tarot cards, speaks in metaphor, lives on spicy food

PIETRO: Mysterious fam friends twin, volunteers to do the shopping, finishes within less than 10min, uses a whole roll of tape to wrap a single present, buys expensive gifts, flirts with Hyped up espresso girl, won the olympics //track// for 3yrs in a row before quitting

BRUCE: acts like a 86 year old grandpa, comes in from out of town just to rage over the thermostat being touched and silently observe everyone, hogs the tv remote

THOR: super spiritual hot guy from out of town, invited by a cousin, unnatural height, broke a cup just by holding it, talks about the universe while downing alcohol like it’s water, never seems to get drunk

JANE: tries to explain physics to a group of children, it ends with them throwing shoes into the fireplace bc “she says it could be a portal” “i said no such thing”

DARCY: makes out with the santa impersonator, hyped up on espresso, talks too fast, friend of Physics (see: jane)

BUCKY: the hot grandpa who still looks 23, appears homicidal in fam pictures, sneaks off with his childhood pal during prayers, has kissed him under the mistletoe 6x and honestly he’s just rubbing it in the single relatives faces now, never married, may or may not have killed a man in 1943, dresses like he’s going to a funeral, listens to johnny cash

STEVE: hot grandpa’s pal, also looks creepily young, tells you to Watch your fucking language, claims he could kill a man with nothing more than a garbage can lid, prob isn’t lying, wears suspenders, still goes to the gym, owns a working record player

LOKI: that one snooty relative everyone avoids, makes babies cry by smiling at them, tells the kids santa isn’t real, insults hot spiritual man in another language, cops are called to break it up

SHARON: repackages store bought pies, pretends theyre homemade, watches It’s A Wonderful Life every year, dresses like she’s going to an office meeting, brings a gun to christmas dinner, small but deadly, leaves early with Gov secrets aunt

SAM: answers everything sarcastically, ex military, irons his clothes, swears a lot, argues about how to properly cook a turkey before taking over altogether, smells like soap and the outdoors, tells Wasted cousin to back the fuck off, leaves mid dinner bc he thought he saw a very rare bird, brings his pal riley who is also his secret bf but everyone knows

RHODEY: neighbor who tells the same stories every year but changes minor details, has too much spiked eggnog and knocks over the tree, butchers christmas songs with Wasted cousin, bonds with Ex Military Sarcastic relative over the future of aviation, no one knows his real name

SCOTT: fresh out of prison, spends the entire time oogling Hot grandpa’s pal, makes you look at a seemingly endless stream of pictures of his daughter, hates baskin robbins, has an ant farm, overly physically affectionate

WADE: tries to kiss his sisters boyfriend under the mistletoe, wears crocs with socks, brings a bag of chimichanga’s that he refuses to share, his plus one is his blind elderly roommate, blasts rap music at one in the morning, has a witty retort on the ready, shamelessly wears a lewd christmas sweater, winks at your mom, seductively eats candy canes while maintaining eye contact

PETER: 16yo nephew who collects comic books, designated amateur photographer, watches star wars religiously, climbs things he shouldn’t, thinks the 90’s are vintage, actually a danger noodle

((if you have a request lmk and I’ll make one for that character. this was fun))

Me Trying To Learn Russian Someday

Teacher: Hello.

Me: Freight car.

Peom by Steeb.

Oh god I wrote a thing:

my name is Steeb and wen is night wen Avengers sleeping tite Hawkeye snorin in his nest wif teddy snuggled to his chest Widow in her webby place Bruce is somwher out in space

Tony werkin on his soots an Vision doin teh computes even Wanda disnt see or Sam when he get up to pee Thor he is not evn heer (probly on asgard drinkin beer) I sneek down to tha hangar bay an get in quinjet on my way

to Wakanda I will fly peopl no the reason why no one sees me i am lucky

i pres defrost i kis the Bucky

what if...

the winter soldier gets triggered but instead of hurting or killing people, he just becomes really passive aggressive and generally dickish to everyone.

he refills the salt shaker with sugar

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to spill my drink all over your lap”

stealths through the living room and unplugs the tv 5 minutes before your favorite show is about to start

you think it’s just the tv remote and go to get new batteries only to find bucky’s replaced all the new batteries with dead ones

he deletes all your shows and timers on the dvr

but does it slowly, 1 or 2 at a time, so you just think something’s wrong with the dvr

can’t find your toothbrush. bucky took it to clean his guns

waits until you get in the shower to start the dishwasher

double dips in the fondue

writes his name on every food item in the house, even the stuff he didn’t buy

“this is my fruit bowl. no one is allowed to eat from it but me”

sees you washing a load of white clothes. throws his red shirt in

takes up playing the kazoo

best time to practice it is at 3 am. says it helps with his insomnia

all toilet paper in the house has disappeared

fills the candy dish in the kitchen with sugar free gummy bears

“i don’t :) know why :) you’re so :) upset :)”

Steve: “Buck, stop! You’re going to kill someone!”

Bucky: “Bucky never meant to kill. Bucky only meant to maim or seriously injure.”

The Winter Soldier: *Kicks a man into a flaming engine*

The Winter Soldier: *Throws a grenade at a pilot and steals his aircraft*

Steve *calling over his shoulder while running after Bucky*: Sorry about that! He’s not usually like this! He’s really very nice most of the time!

bucky in fic: steve u asshole u could’ve been killed! what were u thinking? let me bandage u up and get u a nice cup of tea, i love u so much

actual bucky:

Bingo Night

A/N: I got inspiration from that one post. 

Title: Bingo Night

Author: royalbluehues

Rating: General

Warnings: None

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

You were a simple girl. You enjoyed reading, snacking, and the occasional weekly game of Bingo. Today was no different. Sure, people would laugh at you when you would tell them you attended these functions (mainly Tony), and maybe you were the youngest one in the whole room, but you’ve made plenty of friends because you convinced yourself you needed to surround yourself with good people. 

You have been waiting for a good hour for Mr. James Buchanan Barnes. Gladys, who was your partner in crime when it came to Partner Bingo Night (every other Friday at 6 o’clock), leaned over to whisper in a quiet voice. “Where’s Barney?”

“I don’t know Gladys,” you whispered back, “I think I’ll wait another five minutes and text him if he doesn’t show once Jim passes the second round of cards out.”

The 68 year old woman shook her head. “He’s intimidated.” She plucked off a piece of lint from her light pink sweater and folded her hands in front of her.

Gladys is totally right. He’s intimidated, it’s because he knows I’ll cream him. So, you waited. The large clock on the wall ticked with every passing second, the big hand moving agonizingly slow from the 4 to the 5. The buzz from your phone resonated on the plastic fold up table, making you jump. You picked it up, unlocking it quickly. The message that you read made you a huff in annoyance.

Doll, I don’t think I’m going to make it tonight. We just got back from a mission and I got shot in the arm.

“Was that Billy?” Gladys was leaning over your shoulder and squinting at your phone. Larry, who was a sweet old man in his late 50s, piled out some colored dots for you to use on your card. “Thanks Larry,” you muttered, turning your attention back to Gladys, “He canceled, Glad. He got shot in the arm.” You sounded annoyed, and your attention returned to your screen where you opened up the contact list.

“The coward.” Gladys remarked as she placed a red dot in the middle of her free space.

Jim, who was now standing in front of the room, announced that the game was starting.

You held the phone up to your ear as Larry began turning the drawing machine. You growled lowly, and opened your messenger.

“The first one is B18,” Jim spoke into the microphone, “B18.” Your tore your eyes from the screen and down to your card. You plucked up two dots, placing one on the free spot and the other on the B18.

You quickly typed into your phone and then set it down, focusing solely on the  the game. A change purse with a kitten on it was at stake, and you weren’t going to let Gladys or Marie take it from you.

Back in the tower, Bucky Barnes clenched his jaw tightly as Dr. Cho finished removing the large bullet from his arm. The pain was dizzying, and he held his breath until it was fully removed. The hole in his arm was throbbing, as Dr. Cho carefully placed it on a metal tray next to her. Tony was getting a few scratches on his head cleaned up, and Nat was resting on the chair was her head in her hand. The three of them had just returned from a mission in Colorado, where they breached a Hydra facility.

One of the goons that Bucky thought he knocked out ended up lodging a nice sized bullet into his arm.

“Did she ever respond?” Nat asked in a monotone voice.

Tony was waiting anxiously to hear what you were going to say. He knew you got very competitive when it came to Bingo, once recalling you claim you were the best that the Senior Center had seen in years. Dr. Cho was now stitching Bucky up, and with his free hand, he reached for his phone. Two notifications popped up, one missed call and a text message.

He unlocked his phone so he could see the message and a choking sound emitted from his throat.

Tony, perking up, pushed the hand that was dabbing his forehead, and grinned at the super soldier. “What did she say?”

“She called me a coward.” Bucky stared down at your message for at least a minute, not knowing what to respond as he typed in the beginnings of a ‘sorry’, but deleting it right away. Dr. Cho chuckled as she bandaged him up, Tony snorted, and Nat smirked. “How do I even respond to that?”

“She’s an old woman,” Tony cackled.

“Did you tell her you got shot?”

“Yes.” Bucky wanted to laugh. He’d make it up to you next week.

“When did she send it?” Tony asked, with a grin. Dr. Cho patted Bucky, letting him know she was done. She picked up her utensils and walked towards the elevator.

“About an hour ago.”

At that sentence, the elevator doors opened, revealing none other than you. There you were, standing in all your glory, chin up, and in your right hand, you clutched a small magenta gift bag with polka dot tissue paper. “Dr. Cho,” you nodded. You stepped out, switching places with the doctor, and stood dramatically in the center of the room, channeling your inner Susan Lucci from the Progressive Insurance commercials.

“Doll, I’m sorry-”

“You disgust me.” You hissed, squinting your eyes. Tony was laughing, almost falling over in his chair.

“Doll, I was on a last minute mission. And I sorta got shot,” He twisted his side to you could see the now bandaged wound. He knew that your jab wasn’t intentional.

“Then next time don’t get hurt.” You replied sassily.

You turned to Nat. “I won a change purse. It has a cat on it.”

Nat smirked and then looked at the super soldier. “Sometimes I think your girlfriend is the one who’s 100.”

You ignored Nat’s comment, and turned towards Bucky. “You’re making it up to me.”

Bucky nodded, “Already plan on it.”

You began walking towards him, leaning down so that your lips were barely touching. “Next Friday, at 6 sharp.” Your lips skimmed his, but slowly moved up to his ear. “Gladys sends her regards,” you whispered. You straightened back up, and gradually made your way to the elevator.

“Did she just quote Game of Thrones?” Tony asked Nat. Nat watched you walk away and nodded.

“Did you tell her? That I got shot?”

“Of course I told her. I tell her everything.”

“What did she say?”

“She’s the one that called you a coward. Goodnight, I’ve had a very stressful evening. I almost lost my prize to Marie. I’m going to bed.”

“It’s 9:30, babe.”

“It’s 9:30 and the bed’s calling me. G’Night.” You stepped into the elevator and the three superheros watched as you disappeared behind the doors.

“At least we know that she has her priorities set straight.”

Beneath Weary Moons (Tony Stark angst)

Summary: Every night JARVIS would calm him from his terrors. Then one night, JARVIS walked. He walked from the tower with his own body and mind, and now Tony Stark is truly alone. One shot. Angst.

Genre: Angst

Pairings: None

Trigger warnings: PTSD, depression, Tony Stark crying, mentions of self harm

Song: Hurt - Johnny Cash (Logan Version)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

First he had been stabbed in the heart.

A rocket carved guilt into his chest.

Forever marring him as a dead man walking.

So he had shut down Stark Industries weapons division. And that meant his 'friends' were suddenly busy, and his 'fans' were tweeting death threats. Minor things, he guessed. The real hurt came from seeing how many of them were faking it, not that they themselves were fakes.

Still, sometimes.. it made Tony wonder if, despite it being an attempted assassination, it counted as self harm.

Then Obie had betrayed him.

Tried to kill him.

Made him look like an idiot, a fool, and literally torn his heart (sort of..) from his chest. Realistically it had started well before then, but his blissful ignorance was a sort of barbed comfort blanket. He wanted it back if it meant his life would be.. would be normal again.

He thought he'd seen everything then.

And then of course everyone else tried to kill him. People he'd never heard of. People he had. Some weren't surprising; Justin Hammer always had been a weasel of a man.

Pepper, too, had nearly died.

God, the thought of her in pain- of her falling, screaming, and the fear in her eyes. Never before had he experienced such abject terror. When she left him, Tony couldn't blame her.

"I'm sorry," she croaked, dabbing her eyes. Pepper couldn't look at him but Tony couldn't tear his eyes away from her. "I just can't, Tony. I can't. I'm so afraid- that I'll lose you, or you'll get hurt. Sometimes I worry for myself, too. It's all too much. But I love you, Anthony Stark-"

Everything after that blurred.

Sure, Pepper was right. Hell, she was more than right. When wasn't she. Not one day passed when any of them couldn't help but wonder if it would be the last. And while Rogers and Romanov seemed to thrive on it, Tony drank and Pepper took anti-anxiety pills.

They weren't trained for bullets and spies. They knew boardroom warfare, sabotage, and political espionage.

So she left, and he hugged her, then cried, then he went and built a better suit.

It was okay after a while. JARVIS was always there, and frankly, some days wouldn't have lead to new ones if J hadn't been there. Been his rock.

"J-Ja-ay," Tony slurred his words, glass shaking slightly. Whiskey splashed the rim and dripped onto the already stained carpet.

Silence.

Oh, that's right.. no more JARVIS.

'Right,' Tony thought to himself, 'How many have I had?'

Hazily he could recall maybe eight glasses of liquor. Nothing fancy, it was all straight and whatever was in the nearest bottle. Was eight too many?

"S-s'aah, be f'ne," Tony hiccuped, reaching to pour himself another glass.

He misjudged the distance, however, and slipped in a recent spill. Landing facedown, Tony groaned, vision blurring.

'Fuck.' He thought. 'I'm drunk.'

Struggling to get up, Tony wiggled on his stomach, crawling towards a bar stool before coming to lean against it, panting.

'Never mind.. this is comfortable..'

Why had JARVIS left him?

"Why.." Tony whimpered into the carpet.

Had he been a bad creator? Had he hurt J's feelings? Probably. Tony always did that sort of shit. Made people cry and then abandon him. Or run from him.

"J-JARVIS, buhddy," Tony croaked.

"Sir?" FRIDAY questioned.

Everything slowed down for a second.

"JARVIS?" Tony whispered.

"JARVIS is not here, sir," FRIDAY replied quietly.

So Tony screamed. He screamed and he thrashed, crying into the filthy carpet. He drooled on himself and choked up, crying like he had when he was still too small to understand why the real Jarvis had also left him.

"Sir, if I ca-"

Tony choked. "Fuck off, FRIDAY..just.. you aren't JARVIS."

It hurt. It hurt to even think- his only real friend; therapist, mentor, apprentice, his fucking everything was gone. He'd been given a body but it was like he was dead.

What kind of fucking sick god thought it would be funny to take his J away? Is this how mourning mothers feel? But then he had to stop. He couldn't think about it. He didn't want to, it made him feel like he was back in that awful cave in Afghanistan..

And then of course, he'd hurt FRIDAY.

"FRIDAY?" Tony whispered.

Silence.

So Tony lay face down, sobbing silently, and wondered once again why he had to wake up in the morning.

~

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