Everything-tony-feared - "You Don't Think I Would Cut The Wire?"

what if...

the winter soldier gets triggered but instead of hurting or killing people, he just becomes really passive aggressive and generally dickish to everyone.

he refills the salt shaker with sugar

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to spill my drink all over your lap”

stealths through the living room and unplugs the tv 5 minutes before your favorite show is about to start

you think it’s just the tv remote and go to get new batteries only to find bucky’s replaced all the new batteries with dead ones

he deletes all your shows and timers on the dvr

but does it slowly, 1 or 2 at a time, so you just think something’s wrong with the dvr

can’t find your toothbrush. bucky took it to clean his guns

waits until you get in the shower to start the dishwasher

double dips in the fondue

writes his name on every food item in the house, even the stuff he didn’t buy

“this is my fruit bowl. no one is allowed to eat from it but me”

sees you washing a load of white clothes. throws his red shirt in

takes up playing the kazoo

best time to practice it is at 3 am. says it helps with his insomnia

all toilet paper in the house has disappeared

fills the candy dish in the kitchen with sugar free gummy bears

“i don’t :) know why :) you’re so :) upset :)”

Oooh, insp for a new fic! #tony!whump

Darcy and Bucky. 60: Before you decide to murder me, let me explain...

“Damn neat freak. Why can’t he just leave things out where I need them?” Darcy muttered as she shuffled through Steve’s desk as carefully as possible. If she’d had more time to take photo evidence and ensure she put everything back where it was, she would have. But she’d only been able to convince Nat to kick Steve’s ass for two bouts in the ring, maybe three tops. She didn’t want to encourage too much saltiness between teammates, after all.

“I don’t know if it’s the army or your own tight-assed nature Steve, but why the hell do you have to hide your stuff?”

He’d let her go through his sketches a week earlier and she’d found it. The perfect image she needed for her next attack on Sam. Steve had doodled him as a pin-up model, flirty posture, heels and everything. And it was the exact logo she needed to brand her new assault. Literally. If only Steve hadn’t taken away the notebook as soon as he heard her mildly evil chuckle. Spoilsport. 

If she could just find the damn sketchbook.

She had just started gently rifling through the sock drawer when there was a soft click and the door swung open behind her. Her hands clenched and she plastered a placating smile on as she turned her head. But her teasing cajole died in her throat. That wasn’t Stevie Wonder Boy at the door.

It was Bucky.

Shit.

“Before you decide to murder me, let me explain…”

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jack & diane

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes/Darcy Lewis For:  @phoenix-173 Prompt:  Phone Sex Operator AU

Bucky stared at the business card in his hand, half in disbelief that he was even considering doing this, and half in blind excitement at what was about to happen.  

It was true, it had been a while for him. For a lot of things.  

Sex.  Emotional connections.

He’d had the card for Clandestine Calls for a while now, but hadn’t felt the need to use it until recently.  He hadn’t had a reason to fix this part of himself.

But he’d felt a twinge of something the other day.  A twinge of something akin to attraction. For a woman.  A woman he knew, and thought highly of. Someone he respected.  And he’d panicked.  He’d absolutely panicked.       

And this?  This didn’t feel as cringey (or illegal) as hiring an actual…call girl would be.  It was just practice.

Or at least, that’s what he was telling himself as he logged into the website.

And he wouldn’t even have to engage in anything sexual. And if he wanted, he could just hang up.  And these women wouldn’t hold it against him.  No one was getting hurt.  

Except, possibly, his credit card balance.

A chat window popped up immediately.  Someone from customer service wanting to help him through the process.

Whether it was a bot or a real person, the rep was nice, informative.  They explained the blocks of time he could choose from.  The first was five minutes.  The second, an extension to seven, the third, an extension to twelve and so on. He chose the seven minute block to start, mostly because he wasn’t sure if he was even going to do anything this time around.  But five seemed too short a time to decide.

An extra two minutes, though.  That was apparently where the magic happened.  

He was directed to a payment page, where he gave his credit card information.  So his real name was attached to this account.  But that was something to be kept secret, apparently.  This company prided themselves on their ability to keep things confidential.  Because the next question after he entered his credit card info was what he’d prefer to be called.  

Jack, he’d typed, coming up with the name out of necessity because he suddenly couldn’t think of anything besides his real name.

Your consultant’s name is ‘Diane’, have a good time.

A number was listed below.

Diane.  

Most assuredly a fake name.  As fake as ‘Jack’ was, at any rate.

Jack & Diane.  

Kind of funny, now that he thought about it.

Possibly to be continued as long as no one else is writing anything similar…

I’m Bad At Love (But You Can’t Blame Me For Trying)

A WinterIron plot bunny idea I had and wanted to get out because I’ve seen Hanahaki Disease floating around my dash for a bit, and I couldn’t give up a good idea what I had it. I don’t feel like it’s a fully fleshed out enough fic to post on AO3, but I just like the concept. Bad At Love by Halsey inspired the title because fuck Halsey and her feels. (the aesthetic is mine)

Tony was four, the first time he caught Hanahaki. Four. And if that weren’t sad enough in concept, it was even worse knowing it was from his father.

Tony had just built his first circuit board. Worked on it for weeks, which to a four-year-old felt like a world of time and energy. But he’d finished it. And it worked. He’d shown Jarvis first, and the reaction from his caretaker had been one that lit up Tony’s world. Tony was sure, oh he was so sure, if Jarvis had loved it so much, his father would have at least liked it a little bit. Sure, he’d always been a bit distant with Tony, but Tony had worked so hard. He’d worked so hard.

But when his little hands thrust the circuit board toward his father, almost as if it were an offering, big brown eyes wide with hope, the only response he got was his father raising a hand to him, sending Tony and the circuit board down tumbling to the ground with one strike. It was then, lying on the ground at his father’s feet, Tony coughed up his first flower. He was too young to even understand what it was supposed to mean, he only knew that when his father crushed the flower with his foot as he walked away from Tony, Tony’s chest ached.

After that, Tony was conservative with his love. It took him even weeks to accept love from Jarvis, too afraid of being pushed away again. He eventually got over it, but he was still too skittish to love someone new, for the time being.

The first time it was a romantic love, was with Rhodey. Rhodey was amazing in every way, and Tony couldn’t help fall for him. And sure, Rhodey loved him back, he’d made that very clear, but the pinched look on his face the first time Tony coughed up flowers when Rhodey mentioned he was straight said it all. Platonic love wasn’t enough. At least, for Tony.

But Tony convinced Rhodey he’d be able to get over it, and he was, eventually. It took months, Tony even considered surgery, but eventually, he did really feel happy for Rhodey when he saw him with some girl and stopped coughing up those damned flowers.

At his parent’s funeral, someone had once asked Tony how he felt. His only response had been to stare at his mother’s gravestone with a heavy heart, then choke up a mouthful of flowers. It made sense, he guessed. She couldn’t love him if she was dead. There were good reasons Tony was an atheist. No one, not even his mother, could love him beyond the grave.

Tony wasn’t even surprised when it happened with Pepper. After Rhodey, Tony had given up on trying not to fall in love. Most of his crushes went as quick as they came, one of the main reasons they were never requited, Tony supposed. He was just bad at love. He couldn’t seem to make it last. Going back and forth between coughing up flowers and not; until Tony didn’t even bother paying attention to who was the cause. They wouldn’t matter in a few weeks.

But Pepper’s had lasted so achingly long. So long that Tony actually forced himself to go through with the surgery, only because he couldn’t handle the disapproving looks from Pepper every time he coughed up petals around her. It hurt, not only physically to have the flowers removed, but also emotionally. To have one of his most lasting loves ripped from his heart, just because he couldn’t contain himself.

He was just bad at love.

With Steve, it had been surprising. At least to Tony, anyway. Tony thought he hated Steve, detested every inch of his being. And Tony supposed he did, in some ways. But for reasons that couldn’t seem to stick. At least not the way his love did.

It had startled both of them when Tony started coughing up flowers when Steve had snapped out some insult at him. The look of disgust on Steve’s face somewhat reminded Tony of Howard’s reaction. It did, even more, when Steve stormed out of the room, crushing petals that had fallen to the ground with his step.

After Steve, Tony decided he would never fall in love again. It was a vain promise, sure, but Tony vowed to follow it, even if it led him to the grave. He didn’t want to ever have to deal with a mouthful of flowers again. To him, that’s all that love was.

Maybe that was the real reason it took him so long to realize he was in love with Bucky.

Sure, Tony hit it off with Bucky. More so than anyone had predicted they would, all things considered. The lingering touches, the flirtings, the inside jokes, the sweet laughter at two am.

Natasha was the person to bring it up to Tony.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” She asked one night over coffee when it was much too late for either of them to be drinking coffee.

Tony glanced up. “Nat, I’ve been over Steve for almost a year now.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not Steve. Bucky.”

Tony frowned. “Haven’t been puking up any petunias lately, so nope, don’t think so.”

“You’d only have Hanahaki if it was unrequited, Tony.” She sipped her coffee.

“I-what?” Tony paused, staring at her. “I don’t-James doesn’t-”

“Tony.” Natasha cut him off. “You’re the only person in this Tower who calls him by his first name, and I’m positive he’d punch anyone else who tried. And same goes for him calling you Anthony. You look at him like he’s your moon, he looks at you like your his sun. It’s ridiculous how sappy you both are.”

Tony stared at her. “I don’t…”

“Hush.” Natasha flicked his head. “Ask him out for coffee sometime.”

“I can’t do that.” Tony stared at her with impossibly wide eyes.

“Why not?”

Tony blinked. He supposed she had a point. But grasping the idea that he had a crush on Bucky was… it felt impossible. Tony was so used to love and Hanahaki being bound together for him, one couldn’t exist without the other. The idea that he loved Bucky was barely overshadowed by the realization that Bucky loved him back.

Bucky loved him. Someone loved Tony. For once in Tony’s life, someone returned the affection he was so used to burning and withering away inside of him.

For that reason, Tony was terrified. Terrified he might get over this crush on Bucky as quickly as he had his previous crushes, and he’d leave Bucky just as hurt as others had left him. Tony couldn’t do that to someone else. He just couldn’t. Maybe Tony was bad at love, but he had to try.

“Okay. I’ll ask him out for coffee sometime.”

Truth Hurts

Part One?

Bucky x Reader Angsty Short

A/N: Wrote this on a whim (hence why it’s so short) and might write a second part (because I have a backstory already thought out). Don’t know yet…

You sat motionlessly in the modern chair. You matched the stillness of your surroundings, remaining hidden in the shadows of the dark room. Footsteps echoed in the hallway and your eyes studied the closed door. Each and every scenario played out in your head. Your mind fixated on the worst, however you knew that wasn’t the case. No matter the man’s skills, you were better. You were faster. You lacked morality. You had to.

The footsteps paused for a brief moment before the door swung open. The lights switched on as the man entered his room and to the untrained eye, a knife magically appeared in his hand. You fought off a smirk knowing he had been carrying it around with him all day. A sense of assertion wanted you to laugh and steal the knife away, but you couldn’t. No emotions. Not with him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Confusion, anger, and pain were noticeable in his voice.

“Steve called me.” You remained still. “We need to talk.”

“About what?” He set the knife down; your eyes caught a faint glisten of metal under a midnight colored glove. 

“Moving on.” Your chest tightened and you adjusted your wording. “You’re not the Winter Soldier anymore, that’s behind you.”

“But-”

“No.” You sat forward. You knew every word you were going to say would rip and tear and shred yourself in his eyes, and in yours. But Steve asked you to do this, you were the only one who could. “You’re James Buchanan Barnes.”

“That’s not who I am anymore.” Bucky whispered.

“Get over it.” Your hands instinctively tightened around the armrests and your nails indented the plastic. “You killed people, so what? Yeah, that sucks, but they’re dead. They’re dead, James, you couldn’t stop it and you can’t change it. They’re gone, they can’t be brought back.”

His eyes were trained on the ground. He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it.

“And don’t give me that ‘but I did it, I killed them’ bullshit. Yeah, you did. You can’t change that, James! It happened, all you can do now is move forward. Because if you hadn’t killed them, we both know damn well someone else from Hydra would have.”

Tears formed in his eyes and you begged yourself to stop but you couldn’t. Sometimes you had to break a person to fix them.

“And you know what, you’re right. Everything, everything, that has happened is because of you. Hydra becoming what they did and infiltrating SHIELD? That’s because of you, that’s because of the Winter Soldier and everything you did as him. Howard’s death? You. The entire fall of SHIELD? You. Breaking apart the team and Steve losing his shield? You. This all happened because of you. Everything.” You shoved yourself up from the chair and walked towards the door. 

Bucky sat slumped over in his. His breathing was uneven and his hands covered his face. A few tears fell to the floor before he could stop them. His body shook as he took in another breath. An ache as sharp as a knife plunged into your chest and raced down into your stomach. Spots filled your vision and nausea swirled your mind. You stopped before leaving and steadied your voice before speaking the words that you had been waiting to say, ones that you knew would help him. 

“But without you…what exists now, what we all have now, happiness, admiration, teamwork, friendship, love…it wouldn’t exist. Without you, we’d be nothing.” 

energy (part one)

  part two   bucky barnes x reader   word count: 2517   warnings: cussing possibly   a/n: hey! this is part one since it was really long and I didnt want people to get annoyed with the length! I don’t own anything marvel.

  “We don’t need anymore doctors on site.” Steve insisted. You sat in the corner of the room, jotting down notes as quickly as you could.

  You joined the team unofficially as their mission processor. You were in charge of how many paramedics and doctors you would have on hand, you kept track of all the supplies they took on mission, and exactly what team members were in the field and what team members stayed behind for backup.

  You didn’t mind whatsoever that you were never out on the field. In fact you liked the simplicity of the job. In reality, your only job was to be organized which was not a problem. It payed well and gave you a place to live. You had a room somewhere else in the compound and most nights were quiet.

  The only hard part was watching who went on the missions. And this one seemed a million times more serious than the last. You were looking at nearly a thousand soldiers with alien power control. Somehow the enemy got their hands on some of the alien tech from when Loki decided to pay Earth a visit and now, they had power, and numbers stacked against the Avengers. There wouldn’t be many if any people staying home this time.

  “Please, don’t go.” You whispered through the dark. You knew it was pointless to ask but you had to try. “You know I have to.” Bucky whispered back.  You had been in a relationship with Bucky ever since you were assigned as his rehab doctor. You spent months and months, patient every time, trying to get him to talk, adjust.

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I wrote 'Accidental' Assault on my tablet and I'm really afraid that typing the last part will be lost to tumblr's app crashes.. 😃😂😢 But it'll be up in the next 3 hours

your problematic favs on christmas:

NAT: the drunk af aunt who spills gov secrets and her drink but still looks classy af

VISION: awkward uncle who stands under the mistletoe in an ugly christmas sweater mumbling about symbolic foliage and its origins, wants to kiss Mysterious fam friend

TONY: wasted cousin from out of town who invited himself, spikes the eggnog with asgards strongest booze and trips over his own feet as he slurs and butchers Oh Holy Night

PEPPER: Wasted cousins wine drunk gf, rearranges vegetable platters to be symmetrical, smells good, only eats organic food

CLINT: second cousin twice removed, sneaks bites from the food before it’s time to eat, disappears into the woods for half a day with nothing but a bow and three arrows

WANDA: mysterious fam friend who carries a knife and tarot cards, speaks in metaphor, lives on spicy food

PIETRO: Mysterious fam friends twin, volunteers to do the shopping, finishes within less than 10min, uses a whole roll of tape to wrap a single present, buys expensive gifts, flirts with Hyped up espresso girl, won the olympics //track// for 3yrs in a row before quitting

BRUCE: acts like a 86 year old grandpa, comes in from out of town just to rage over the thermostat being touched and silently observe everyone, hogs the tv remote

THOR: super spiritual hot guy from out of town, invited by a cousin, unnatural height, broke a cup just by holding it, talks about the universe while downing alcohol like it’s water, never seems to get drunk

JANE: tries to explain physics to a group of children, it ends with them throwing shoes into the fireplace bc “she says it could be a portal” “i said no such thing”

DARCY: makes out with the santa impersonator, hyped up on espresso, talks too fast, friend of Physics (see: jane)

BUCKY: the hot grandpa who still looks 23, appears homicidal in fam pictures, sneaks off with his childhood pal during prayers, has kissed him under the mistletoe 6x and honestly he’s just rubbing it in the single relatives faces now, never married, may or may not have killed a man in 1943, dresses like he’s going to a funeral, listens to johnny cash

STEVE: hot grandpa’s pal, also looks creepily young, tells you to Watch your fucking language, claims he could kill a man with nothing more than a garbage can lid, prob isn’t lying, wears suspenders, still goes to the gym, owns a working record player

LOKI: that one snooty relative everyone avoids, makes babies cry by smiling at them, tells the kids santa isn’t real, insults hot spiritual man in another language, cops are called to break it up

SHARON: repackages store bought pies, pretends theyre homemade, watches It’s A Wonderful Life every year, dresses like she’s going to an office meeting, brings a gun to christmas dinner, small but deadly, leaves early with Gov secrets aunt

SAM: answers everything sarcastically, ex military, irons his clothes, swears a lot, argues about how to properly cook a turkey before taking over altogether, smells like soap and the outdoors, tells Wasted cousin to back the fuck off, leaves mid dinner bc he thought he saw a very rare bird, brings his pal riley who is also his secret bf but everyone knows

RHODEY: neighbor who tells the same stories every year but changes minor details, has too much spiked eggnog and knocks over the tree, butchers christmas songs with Wasted cousin, bonds with Ex Military Sarcastic relative over the future of aviation, no one knows his real name

SCOTT: fresh out of prison, spends the entire time oogling Hot grandpa’s pal, makes you look at a seemingly endless stream of pictures of his daughter, hates baskin robbins, has an ant farm, overly physically affectionate

WADE: tries to kiss his sisters boyfriend under the mistletoe, wears crocs with socks, brings a bag of chimichanga’s that he refuses to share, his plus one is his blind elderly roommate, blasts rap music at one in the morning, has a witty retort on the ready, shamelessly wears a lewd christmas sweater, winks at your mom, seductively eats candy canes while maintaining eye contact

PETER: 16yo nephew who collects comic books, designated amateur photographer, watches star wars religiously, climbs things he shouldn’t, thinks the 90’s are vintage, actually a danger noodle

((if you have a request lmk and I’ll make one for that character. this was fun))

Hunter