Reblog If You Want A Cute Lil Love Letter From A Fictional Character Or Actor From Your Blog. I’ll

Peom by Steeb.

Oh god I wrote a thing:

my name is Steeb and wen is night wen Avengers sleeping tite Hawkeye snorin in his nest wif teddy snuggled to his chest Widow in her webby place Bruce is somwher out in space

Tony werkin on his soots an Vision doin teh computes even Wanda disnt see or Sam when he get up to pee Thor he is not evn heer (probly on asgard drinkin beer) I sneek down to tha hangar bay an get in quinjet on my way

to Wakanda I will fly peopl no the reason why no one sees me i am lucky

i pres defrost i kis the Bucky

Auld Lang Syne

summary: biker!bucky and reader realise they both don’t like new year’s. word count: 1.385 note: so this is my first time writing biker!bucky so please please please tell me how it is and what i could do better masterlist

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky could see someone pacing and kicking the dirt up and muttering to themselves just outside the bar’s entrance.

“Not a crowd person?” Bucky called out, flicking his cigarette before placing it in his mouth again. You stopped pacing and turned your head in the direction of the voice, heart almost coming to a complete stop as you made eye contact with the leader of the motorcycle club that owned the bar. He looked like a sin, leaning back against his black motorcycle, feet crossed and muscles just begging to be released from the confines of his plaid shirt. You watched as he threw his cigarette to the ground and toed it out with his dirty brown boots and god did he look good doing that.

“You gonna answer me, sweetheart?” Bucky asked as he wiped his hands on his jeans.

“Uh, yeah, yeah,” you muttered, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks.

“So?”

“So what?” You asked as you cautiously walked closer to him.

Bucky let out a chuckle and began to roll up his sleeves, showing off his incredibly toned arms which made it even harder to focus.

“I asked ya if you weren’t a crowd person.”

“Oh yeah, no, not really. Well, I don’t really mind but I prefer to not be in a crowd, so really yeah I’m not a crowd person,” you rambled on. Bucky just nodded and you could hear someone yell something inside of the bar causing a loud combined laughter to erupt, filling the silence that had washed over the two of you. You couldn’t help but smile at hearing everyone’s laugh and knowing they were having a good time. Bucky looked down at you and smiled because of how infectious your smile was.

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chris evans is literally the most stereotypical straight man ever like he drinks beer and he’s from boston and he watches football and swears a lot but literally every single time he opens his mouth its like a signal for my gay ass to be like ‘THIS. is the only man i love’ and he could literally be talking about how he likes his dick to be sucked and i’d STILL be whipped just sitting there like ‘yes thats very profound’

your problematic favs on christmas:

NAT: the drunk af aunt who spills gov secrets and her drink but still looks classy af

VISION: awkward uncle who stands under the mistletoe in an ugly christmas sweater mumbling about symbolic foliage and its origins, wants to kiss Mysterious fam friend

TONY: wasted cousin from out of town who invited himself, spikes the eggnog with asgards strongest booze and trips over his own feet as he slurs and butchers Oh Holy Night

PEPPER: Wasted cousins wine drunk gf, rearranges vegetable platters to be symmetrical, smells good, only eats organic food

CLINT: second cousin twice removed, sneaks bites from the food before it’s time to eat, disappears into the woods for half a day with nothing but a bow and three arrows

WANDA: mysterious fam friend who carries a knife and tarot cards, speaks in metaphor, lives on spicy food

PIETRO: Mysterious fam friends twin, volunteers to do the shopping, finishes within less than 10min, uses a whole roll of tape to wrap a single present, buys expensive gifts, flirts with Hyped up espresso girl, won the olympics //track// for 3yrs in a row before quitting

BRUCE: acts like a 86 year old grandpa, comes in from out of town just to rage over the thermostat being touched and silently observe everyone, hogs the tv remote

THOR: super spiritual hot guy from out of town, invited by a cousin, unnatural height, broke a cup just by holding it, talks about the universe while downing alcohol like it’s water, never seems to get drunk

JANE: tries to explain physics to a group of children, it ends with them throwing shoes into the fireplace bc “she says it could be a portal” “i said no such thing”

DARCY: makes out with the santa impersonator, hyped up on espresso, talks too fast, friend of Physics (see: jane)

BUCKY: the hot grandpa who still looks 23, appears homicidal in fam pictures, sneaks off with his childhood pal during prayers, has kissed him under the mistletoe 6x and honestly he’s just rubbing it in the single relatives faces now, never married, may or may not have killed a man in 1943, dresses like he’s going to a funeral, listens to johnny cash

STEVE: hot grandpa’s pal, also looks creepily young, tells you to Watch your fucking language, claims he could kill a man with nothing more than a garbage can lid, prob isn’t lying, wears suspenders, still goes to the gym, owns a working record player

LOKI: that one snooty relative everyone avoids, makes babies cry by smiling at them, tells the kids santa isn’t real, insults hot spiritual man in another language, cops are called to break it up

SHARON: repackages store bought pies, pretends theyre homemade, watches It’s A Wonderful Life every year, dresses like she’s going to an office meeting, brings a gun to christmas dinner, small but deadly, leaves early with Gov secrets aunt

SAM: answers everything sarcastically, ex military, irons his clothes, swears a lot, argues about how to properly cook a turkey before taking over altogether, smells like soap and the outdoors, tells Wasted cousin to back the fuck off, leaves mid dinner bc he thought he saw a very rare bird, brings his pal riley who is also his secret bf but everyone knows

RHODEY: neighbor who tells the same stories every year but changes minor details, has too much spiked eggnog and knocks over the tree, butchers christmas songs with Wasted cousin, bonds with Ex Military Sarcastic relative over the future of aviation, no one knows his real name

SCOTT: fresh out of prison, spends the entire time oogling Hot grandpa’s pal, makes you look at a seemingly endless stream of pictures of his daughter, hates baskin robbins, has an ant farm, overly physically affectionate

WADE: tries to kiss his sisters boyfriend under the mistletoe, wears crocs with socks, brings a bag of chimichanga’s that he refuses to share, his plus one is his blind elderly roommate, blasts rap music at one in the morning, has a witty retort on the ready, shamelessly wears a lewd christmas sweater, winks at your mom, seductively eats candy canes while maintaining eye contact

PETER: 16yo nephew who collects comic books, designated amateur photographer, watches star wars religiously, climbs things he shouldn’t, thinks the 90’s are vintage, actually a danger noodle

((if you have a request lmk and I’ll make one for that character. this was fun))

au where tony adopts peter as a child

What really happened

So, based on THIS POST by @knightinironarmor that @the-flightoficarus rambled about for a hot minute there, @mephestopheles and I did our favorite thing and plotted out a version of IM1 where Howard is still alive. It’s somewhere between a ficlet and a headcanon.

And let us just say in advance, Ow. and also, we’re sorry. but not a lot

Howard Stark has held onto the leadership in Stark Industries because of a clause that means he can continue searching for Steve on the company’s money. It’s been all of Tony’s life, Tony has never once eclipsed a man that died in the water 60 years earlier. Howard is old, and he’s fixated. Stane handles most of the salesman stuff. And Tony IS the R&D department. Everyone knows this. The board loves Tony. The press loves Tony. Freaking everyone loves Tony.

Tony loves to beat his Dad’s records, loves to outdo the best inventions his dad ever made in a sort of petty reaction to how he has been treated, so Tony is still definitely the Merchant of Death, and he carries it with a grin.

There’s a growing push to encourage Howard to step down and for Tony to take over, and everyone is thrilled… except Howard, who is convinced that this time, this time he knows where Steve’s plane is, and he’s utterly convinced that Steve is alive somehow. Howard is off searching again when Tony goes to Afghanistan.

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Me Trying To Learn Russian Someday

Teacher: Hello.

Me: Freight car.

jack & diane

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes/Darcy Lewis For:  @phoenix-173 Prompt:  Phone Sex Operator AU

Bucky stared at the business card in his hand, half in disbelief that he was even considering doing this, and half in blind excitement at what was about to happen.  

It was true, it had been a while for him. For a lot of things.  

Sex.  Emotional connections.

He’d had the card for Clandestine Calls for a while now, but hadn’t felt the need to use it until recently.  He hadn’t had a reason to fix this part of himself.

But he’d felt a twinge of something the other day.  A twinge of something akin to attraction. For a woman.  A woman he knew, and thought highly of. Someone he respected.  And he’d panicked.  He’d absolutely panicked.       

And this?  This didn’t feel as cringey (or illegal) as hiring an actual…call girl would be.  It was just practice.

Or at least, that’s what he was telling himself as he logged into the website.

And he wouldn’t even have to engage in anything sexual. And if he wanted, he could just hang up.  And these women wouldn’t hold it against him.  No one was getting hurt.  

Except, possibly, his credit card balance.

A chat window popped up immediately.  Someone from customer service wanting to help him through the process.

Whether it was a bot or a real person, the rep was nice, informative.  They explained the blocks of time he could choose from.  The first was five minutes.  The second, an extension to seven, the third, an extension to twelve and so on. He chose the seven minute block to start, mostly because he wasn’t sure if he was even going to do anything this time around.  But five seemed too short a time to decide.

An extra two minutes, though.  That was apparently where the magic happened.  

He was directed to a payment page, where he gave his credit card information.  So his real name was attached to this account.  But that was something to be kept secret, apparently.  This company prided themselves on their ability to keep things confidential.  Because the next question after he entered his credit card info was what he’d prefer to be called.  

Jack, he’d typed, coming up with the name out of necessity because he suddenly couldn’t think of anything besides his real name.

Your consultant’s name is ‘Diane’, have a good time.

A number was listed below.

Diane.  

Most assuredly a fake name.  As fake as ‘Jack’ was, at any rate.

Jack & Diane.  

Kind of funny, now that he thought about it.

Possibly to be continued as long as no one else is writing anything similar…

Bucky Barnes/James Barnes/The Winter Soldier imagines

Hi all! This is a pretty long list of possible situations for you and our darlin' Plum. Feel free to use them however, and if possible, tag me! I love reading Bucky x Reader (or Bucky x Tony, ikik..) and there's just never enough of it around.

I'm thinking about doing some of these so let me know if you're interested in reading one!

You are a consultant on cultural behavior, which means you detail the best appearance, attitude, and quirks for an undercover agent to have. Given your indepth knowledge, Fury assigns you the arduous task of bringing Steve Rogers and James Barnes up to speed on history post-1949.

You have known Tony for 15 years. You were born on August 1st, 1980, and attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After the war, you found yourself numb and detached from life, with your only surviving close friends and family being Harry James Potter and Ron Weasley. After suffering through apathy and depression for five years, at the age of 23, you throw yourself through the Veil. Unsure if you will encounter a blissful void, screeching hellfire and your righteous maker, or some other world, you put all your belongings in an extended bag and welcome the final step. Funnily enough, you fell face-forward into a gutter. 15 years later, Tony calls on you to consult on the portals opening at random. Unsure what to expect, seeing as you are the last magical being on this earthly realm, you agree. What you find brings back memories of parseltongue, bloodquils, and man with 7 lives. Bucky x Reader.

Born into an impoverished family, Y/N Y/L/N is the last in a long line of witch-hunters. Your father was already well into his 60s when you were born, so when he passed, it was just your mother left to instill the family doctrine in you. Despite this all, you eventually turn to a life of normalcy, and become a historian specializing in occult artifacts (that's normal, right?). Stephen Strange is a close friend, and eventually asks you to help him in his research kickstarted by Jane Foster. You come into contact with all of the Avengers although you've barely held a conversation past "Hi, how ya doin'?". With Darcy as your new best friend, and her ridiculous affair with the God of Lies, you find yourself reciting the words your father had carved into his flesh. "For our King, our God, and the Righteousness of Divinity, may God have Mercy upon your Filthy Soul." Would be very interesting with a fictional twist on a religion or faith of your choosing. Bucky x Reader where eventually Reader is the only person in the tower/compound who can successfully defend herself against attacks by the supernatural without heavy firepower- Bucky being the exception of course. Horror!theme?

It had been a nice sunny day in Manhattan. You thought to yourself, "You know what, this is gelato weather. I deserve gelato." And instead you get shot by some asshole with a red star on his shirt, kidnapped by a blonde man with a shield, and then told it was your fault for telling the red star asshole to leave your landlord alone.

Peter thinks he's sly- that you don't know about his spandex-wearing cobwebby bullshit. Ha! You'd lived next door all your life. Your WINDOW faces his. Who does he think he's fooling? Doesn't matter, he got you into a Stark Expo VIP tour. But hey, that tall brooding dude looks like he needs a laugh. Wait, what do you mean you can't say "Who pissed in your cornflakes?" to the Winter Soldier? He's not the Winter Soldier, he- oh. Shit. Haaa..haha.. "PETER!!"

As Tony Stark's assistant, you've seen a lot of stuff. You've seen him butt naked, you've seen him so drunk he thought you were Rhodey (somehow), and you've even had your heart in his chest. You and he trust each other completely. One day, you get a call and it's a hospital in Y/Home/Town. They say your grandpa had a heart attack. And so you're on leave for 2 months making sure he's okay. Ol' Dirty Dugan doesn't go down easy. When you return, there is a strange split in the team. Tony spends even more time in his lab, he smells awful, and there's bags under his eyes. The team doesn't mention him and you notice they don't call him out for missions anymore. Wtf? After some digging you find out that Clint, Natasha, Steve, Sam, and Wanda are convinced Tony is a piece of shit. They think he's selfish, a coward, and a pervert, all because of misinformation and his public image. Hell fucking no. Thank god they thawed Barnes out, at least he isn't partaking in Bully-Tony-Tuesday. In fact.. he seems to be just as distant and despondent as Tony. You have a lot of work to do.

Bucky is your best friend. In the sense that, you don't have any real friends, and he doesn't let people close. But you bring him coffee, he shares his protein bars, and sometimes you two watch youtube together. Then one day an office clerk slaps your ass. What does Bucky do? He fractures the guys jaw.

"Happy Birthday to me. Happy birthday to me.. Happy Birthday, dear (Y/N), happy..birthday..to me.." Nobody remembered. Again. Your parents didn't call. Your sister didn't call. Your old friends didn't call. Nobody on the team said anything, but then again, they probably didn't know.. you are just a lab assistant anyway. Oh, well, Jarvis 2.0 did say Happy Birthday. That was nice. Bucky overheard Jarvis, though. So he goes out and buys some flowers, a bottle of sake, and a cheesecake. And then you cry and doesn't know why. Happy birthday to me. Oneshot. Fluffy angst.

They didn't know you were sick. None of them. You were conveniently out of town when the medical check ups took place, and never allowed the pain to show on your face. But one day at work you collapse, and they can't wake you up. Cho discovers you have kidney disease. You're dying and have been for a while. Tony pays top dollar for an immediate transplant, but it will still take a month or two. You used to have morning chats with Barnes after his run. You always were an early bird. But now he's on assignment somewhere secret, and you feel even more numb. Bucky couldn't handle the thought that you'd die (you won't but he doesn't know that), so he runs. He runs and immerses himself in a mission, believing you'd never feel the same way.

You came home and discovered your boyfriend of eight years in bed with a woman you'd never seen before. Turns out they'd been having a secret affair for nearly 5 years. You are arrested for punching him in the face- not that you remember, you blacked out in rage- and humourously enough, Barnes is the one who collects you from the station. It's okay, you hadn't been in love with Jerry for a long time, but it still hurt. So when you see Jerry with his 'side chick' three months later, you also discover Bucky had a sense of humour. Apparently you're now married to James Barnes, have been for a while, and are pregnant. Of course you're not but somehow Bucky knew just what to say and do to piss Jerry right off.

Matt Murdock knows what’s up.