When Arrox learned that humans were on world he expected liars, smugglers, murderers, or worse. He wasn’t expecting a pair of generally kind hearted beings.
Mahl, as one of the humans-the one with golden hair and eyes the color of the Gaien sky- insisted on being called, is a doctor. He helps, again and again and again. He never turns anyone down, dirtying his hands with the blood of people who can’t pay and instead taking favors or small tasks.
Ivan, the human with silver colored hair and green eyes, is something called a ‘veteran’. He steps between beings and their would-be attackers constantly. He looms behind kind elders who are often taken advantage of.
The pair are well liked, even more so when word gets out that the Gaien government is going to be sending aide to a planet a system away. The two disappear with smiles goodbyes, promises of souvenirs, and reminders of keeping safe.
The humans said "We sent our very best to the stars."
Well we looked at what they sent: And thought, if that's their best, what are their worst like? They were scavengers and opportunists, fast talking con artists, barely restrained psychopaths with mayhem on their mind.
Honestly we were expecting the worst: That 'human' would be a curse word, that we'd have to root them out painfully and banish them back to their dirty heavy world.
But they cleaned up Antichor. They dredged the oceans, got the ecosystem back up, cleaned the mine lakes, remediated the sludge swamps, turned the hulks into gleaming ingots.
"We knew how. We had the experience." They said.
The humans started showing up in the weirdest places. Conflicts of all sorts... and they always had questions. "Why are you doing this? What if tehy did this. What if you did that?" And it was so odd - Within weeks of the Humans showing up, common ground would be found, or reasons to get along would appear.
"Well, we're used to it. We know how to deal with conflict." They said.
And the human liars, dressed in bedazzling clothes, singing and laughing... They spun lies! For entertainment! Of better worlds, and drama, of excitement, of adventure. Thay made such spectacles - Fire in the sky of a thousand colours - smoke and lasers, costumes and music, feats of synchronised movement the Civil Worlds had barely imagined could be performed by any being let lone these strange humans...
"We know how to have a good time!" They said.
When there was a nasty little war of expansion over on the Veran worlds, we thought we'd be barely in time to document the mass graves and the scraps of planetary genocide. Expansion wars are the worst of crimes but what can you do? The settlers who are squatting on the graves of the people who came before aren't usually the ones who ordered the invasion or carried it out. And there's always some justification that can be argued over for centuries: none of which brings the dead back.
We were horrified to find the Human fleet there. Finally proof that the Humans were the worst sort of mercenary.
But the ships had aid: Shelters and food. Medical personnel. And those that did fight did so under strange rules that allowed for surrenders and retreats in good faith.
The Verans talked of the Arnath Invasion fleet: Unstoppable, claiming thier worlds before they even landed, their leaders ranting and cursing those who lived there - But then the Humans arriving like heroes of legend, in flame clad dropships, spending their lives hard, making the Arnath throw incredible effort to get nowhere... Of the mighty Rangers, each one a hero. The Bulwark infantry who wouldn't yield a single step until the civilians had been evacuated. The Medical teams as caring as any, who'd stand and fight as hard as a soldier to protect their patients.
And even before we arrived, the Arnath were losing - Humans arriving on their world and asking "Why?". Arguing with the Archons with the skill of philosophers, litigating on behalf of the Verans with cunning arguments. The clowns and entertainers with unexpected savagery, showing the population their own "heroic" soldiers burning crops and firing on children, turning the population against thier bloody handed leaders.
The soldiers returning, not hailed as heroes, their crimes documented.
"We know these crimes. We won't stand for them." The humans said.
And we started to wonder... what else did they know?
What we know now is... you can always ask the Humans, because they always send their best.
I think overall we are not fully utilizing Tim Drake's origin as a weird super hero fanboy/stalker for it's full comedic potential.
Jason talking about his Robin days: The look on that guy's face when he was beaten by child. I wish I had a picture.
Tim: I do.
Jason: You what?
Tim: have a picture.
Jason: ....
Tim: Would you like to see?
Jason:.... yes.
Dick over the phone: can you pick something up from Titans tower for me? I'm really busy. It's in the vault the password is ********.
Tim: You haven't changed it in 5 years? That's terrible security!
Dick: ...I didn't know you 5 years ago??
Tim: You also put the code in in plain view of the window. You should really pull the blinds down.
Dick: After you get that can you please get therapy?
I'm sorry but I can't get this image out of my head.
The JLD introducing one of their new younger members to the YJ to 'hopefully socialize the feral shit more' as Constantine put it.
And Cassie spends most of the meeting hitting her teammates with a rolled up newspaper cause they keep drooling over phantom. *Don't you horndogs dare scare a possibly normal teammate away because you are attracted to Dangerous Vibes!*
Though with Tim it's more No you can't Study Him, RR! I don't care if it'd because his biology is a mystery! *smacks with newspaper of justice* Bad RR!
She thought it was Kon and Tim She had to worry about.
No it's Bart. And apparently Danger Ghost Twink and Danger Speed Twink really vibe together.
The Alderaanian Royal Guard gets really protective of the Coruscant Guard. Like. Really protective. At some point the people start treating the Corries better if only because they know that there is always an Alderaanian somewhere in the vicinity. Sometimes it's the Senator himself. Once or twice it was the Queen. But there is always at least one member of the Royal Guard there. Somewhere. For people who say they are pacifists, they seem really bloodthirsty.
After a while, people are starting to figure out that they might've been just supressing any murderous intents up until now, and it's better if you don't tempt them too much.
(The word got out at some point that Fox was dating the Queen and the Senator and that it was serious. The Royal Guard immediately turned on the Prince treatment. Fox bluescreened the first time one of them opened a door for him.)
The ghost of the Grinch was actually a paid actor in this scheme to prank Wes.
Happy Truce (and New Years!) @elliefenton ! Sorry I’m so late!
I went ahead and mashed the Danny convincing Wes he’s wrong, Danny meeting the grinch and Ellie pretending to be Danny at school prompts together into this… silly thing… Anyway! I hope you enjoy this and hope you had a wonderful holiday season! :]
The young justice team is in a bit of a pickle. It had been a usual mission, Klarion causing mischief again, before someone had mentioned the date.
The literal chaos lord had shrieked, stopping his attack, and asked for clarification. Maybe that wasn’t a good idea because one moment they were in Happy Harbour, and the next they’re somewhere else with green everywhere and floating islands.
And Klarion doesn’t explain- not that they were expecting him to- and just bolts into a… wow that is a very big and scary looking castle. Keep? Honestly it’s if someone combined a gothic citadel with a clocktower of some sort.
Not important, because they had chased after Klarion who uh… Oh no, that is a Very big entity, that is two Very Big entities that could crush them in their fingers. And they are now stuck in this place seeing as the portal closed behind them.
Honestly Klarion is happy he made it home before curfew! Even if he had to bring his sort-of-friends with him to make it in time. It’s not his fault, he’s not used to having a guardian, nevermind two! Not to mention siblings, which he’s now the oldest of too, so he has to be a positive influence. Like teaching them how to properly do chaos without destroying a world.
Oh, but this is perfect anyway, one of his dads has been wanting to talk to the speedsters anyway, and his other dad is still under house arrest for the whole, trying to take over the living realm thing. But that’s not important, he has little siblings to introduce!
Jack wants to get him tested for better help. Janet says she doesn’t want their son put in a psych ward. In the end Janet wins when Tim smiles serenely and threatens to end Jack’s bloodline with him.
Good parents Janet and Jack Drake put Tim through those child safety courses where they teach kids how to protect themselves in case someone tries to kidnap them.
The issue is that Tim is a feral little gremlin of a child with a very strong understanding of public personas and knows to keep his feralness behind closed doors or where no one can see him. So in front of all the parents and instructors Tim keeps letting himself be too easily shoved into this car because he’s out in public and he’s supposed to be polite.
Jacks not having it. He’s not about to have his son shown up by little Suzy with the blond curly pigtails who screams like a banshee and kicks hard enough to end family lines.
“Tim,” he says pulling his 6/7 year old son to the side. “If you can go the rest of this session without letting them shove you in that car once, I will buy you whatever camera you want.”
“Plus accessories?”
“Anything you want.” Tim smiles in that oh so familiar way that swore chaos upon you and your kin and from where she was sitting Janet sighs, sending a text to their lawyer.
The next round is a free for all. Tim is cussing them out in Russians, then french, then possibly ancient Egyptian? (“who taught him how to cuss like that?” Jack asks while Janet hides turns her head to hide her smile). He’s punching, kicking, and there’s definitely biting involved. Somehow Tim managed to twist his way onto the instructors shoulders and has him in a child sized chokehold.
Needless to say, Tim gets that camera and then some. The Drakes happily pay for the instructors medical bill (just a mild sprain and a dislocated shoulder) and thank them for teaching their son the importance of not being kidnapped.
There’s a standing agreement between Jack and his son. Every time Tim avoids being kidnapped he gets some kind of new camera something. It’s to a point where Tim has a reputation in Gotham among the underworld as unkidnappable (not that it stopped people from trying).
Of course over the years Tim’s parents stuck him in multiple martial arts classes (on Tim’s request. This boy wants those camera’s) so more times than less he knocks out his assailants, takes a selfie with their unconscious bodies, and sends proof of avoidance to his parents alongside a link to whatever equipment he wanted.
This is all well and good until Tim becomes Robin. It shows up…I want to say three times that really stand out. The first time is with Ivy. Tim’s been hit with something that leaves him somewhat disoriented, but he’d trained for this. He’ll be fine. Ain’t no rogue getting him to a secondary location no siree. So he goes full feral mode and manages to knock out Ivy. To which he immediate pulls out his phone, takes a selfie, and sends it to his parents with a link because it’s habit and he might be concussed.
Within 24hrs the Drakes are standing at Bruce’s door with questions and also that new Camera lens Tim requested. Tim is hiding his face in his hands completely embarrassed because he does not remember sending his parents the selfie of him posing in full Robin gear with an unconscious Ivy behind him, but here we are. (The Drakes expect regular injury reports and also hash out a deal for Tim to stay at the manor whenever they have to travel. Also Tim’s grades have to stay up and he’s not allowed out during finals).
The second time is probably with the joker. There’s an Arkham breakout and Joker escapes and does manage to get Tim. The Bats are out in full force looking for him when a message pings in their group chat. It’s a selfie of Tim, looking worse for wear with a somewhat foggy look in his eyes, but theirs a feral smile in his face and a probably unconscious and not dead joker in the background.
“Talk shit get hit.” He’d messaged followed by a ping of his exact coordinates.
The most recent and most memorable happened post time stream shenanigans. Ra’s is a little too obsessed with Tim and Tim is just a little too sleep deprived to play along with the pseudo immortals mind games. When asked Tim will admit to remembering nothing, but the proof is in the family chat.
“Get good.” Followed by a selfie of Tim hugging what was probably a mug of coffee but behind him were at least 4 ninja’s and Ra’s Al Ghul himself slumped unconscious looking like they’d been attacked by a wild animal.
“Also I’m on a boat in the middle of Gotham Harbor can someone come pick me up plsssssss.”
He's adorable and I want to print this out or make it my screensaver on my laptop.
give his costume back :(
Bart, zooming over: hey Tim??
Tim: yes Impulse?
Bart: Supervoy started another fire in your lab~
Tim, exhaling calmly: alright. Take me to him.
Homophobe: You're going to HELL!!
Tim: I was already going to hell, GRETCHEN
Tim: I killed 1,000 people.
He does it in front of other people and Clown SCREECHES at the top of his lungs. People assume Brandy is killing him but it’s the other way around.
Something something Branzy's hands being cold because of how often he dies and Clown's being warm and and and they hold hands all the time. Branzy is just constant leeching off of his warmth and he 100% goes to hold Clown's hands with his cold ass fingers and Clown SCREAMS ...I am so normal !!
Any dp/dc fic recs?
of course! Honestly, i love so many of them and I'll try to include as many as i can in my list here! The Undead Lockpicking series by Milaley: In which Danny has a lockpicking youtube channel and he lockpicks the Watchtower. Hilarious, excellent 10/10
The Bat Trap by Threee: Honestly a good ol twin switcheroo with many funny moments but also a lot of delicious angst! (a Damian & Danny twins au) Just, chef's kiss!
GLXY:PSSNGR by socraticat: Danny takes the place of his alternate universe self who lives with vlad in Gotham after vlad killed his parents. Muchas angst, lots of worldbuilding and fantastic action!
A second life by Die_Erlkonigin6083:Kid Danny who has memories from a past life and currently is Dick Grayson's clone baby (and a bunch of others but mostly Dick's) Adorable 100/10 recommend>
lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood by halfagone (milkywxy): Epic. Dad!Lex and and dimensional travel son!Danny. Sweet and super well-executed Cass/Danny. 10/10 i need to catch up with the latest chappies but it's so freaking good I am aaaaaa
Rooftop Express by EmeraldsAndAmethyst: Danny/Jason. Awesome af. Crime lord Jason ftw! Danny is a (supernatural)delivery boy and professional enigma in Gotham
Our Empty Graves by suomifae: Hazmat Suit, no one knows au! Danny/Jason in which Danny finds himself helping out in Jason's gang. Very cool story building, ideas and execution. Im literally screaming in every chapter. so so good!
bloodlines by halfagone (milkywxy): Danny is Diana's and Bruce's son. He of course doesn't know that. There's a prophesy involved that says Danny will end the world, Diana finds out accidentally about it and finds out she has a son (memory wipe shenanigans) and GOSH. There's so much awesome stuff happening and it's a pleasure to see them piece together the facts. 10/10 Diana rocks
Summons by DizzlyPuzzled: Ghost king Danny in which because he's underage his father gets summoned in his stead. Bruce would very much like to know why he keeps getting yote through summoning circles. Just the right amount of funny, family fluff and angst.
If You Give a Bat a Burger by Cielle_Noire: BOI I HAVE NO WORDS. the plot in this is thiccc and juicy and delicious and the mystery is the cherry on top! Danny lives in Gotham, does some ghostly sigil stuff around to protect Gothamites from bad ghosts, it backfires, we don't know why. Red duck candles are involved. The Batkids are chaos. and im here eating popcorn because it's all super entertaining to watch unfold. 100/10 jessica's duck candle
Friendly neighborhood vigilante by Elizabehta_Beilschmidt: Jazz/Jason THE FIC. honestly one of the best Anger Management fics i've ever read. Love the way Communication between partners is portrayed here and how they overcome the hurdles despite the shitshow that is both their lives (affectionate). 10/10 would read again
Danny Fenton: Dead and Loving It by HyperKid: You need an ao3 account for this one, go go go go make one because it's super worth it! Jason/Danny. They meet at the graveyard, your honour! They actively mess with Bruce and the rest of the Batkids! Gala Shenanigans! What else can i say? Go read!
Worm Off the String by TourettesDog: I am licherally dying of laughter. Peak comedy. Danny/Tim ft little baby man Danny who Tim thinks is Danny's weird af pet. Honestly, so GOOD. 100/10 comedy gold.
Press Heart to Subscribe by Die_Erlkonigin6083: A Danny/Damian fic in which Danny is a streamer and Damian watches his stream. Super cute, well executed, 100/10 sweetness scale
Imprint by Hashtag_DriveBy: Babes i dunno what to tell you. I've done fanart of this fic. De-aged baby Danny and DadHood. Human-ish Fright Knight and Excellent friend Roy. Guys seriously. SO SO SO SO GOOD. 100/10 I wanna see the kid reveal to the batfam and am vibrating out of existence imagining scenarios. - There are more but I can't possibly list them all in one go, I'll make another fic rec list later 💙