Emily: I Am Not The Jealous Type.

JJ: That’s ridiculous. Emily does not have a crush on me.

Derek: Yes she does.

Spencer: Yes she does.

Emily: Yes she does.

Emily: I know you must be surprised to see me here.

JJ: Not really, since you follow me everywhere.

Emily: You're a lying, cheating, piece of garbage! You're not the woman I married!

JJ: Then we'll get a divorce! And I'm taking Henry!

Henry, slowly sliding the monopoly board away from them: I think it's time we stop playing...

JJ: The food is too hot, I can’t eat it.

Emily: You’re too hot and I still eat you.

JJ: *blushes*

Emily: *winks at her*

Rossi: One dinner. I just want ONE GODDAM DINNER.

Emily: [comes home and JJ is waiting for her in the living room]

Emily: Am I in trouble?

JJ: Have a guess

Emily: No?

JJ: Have another guess

JJ: what is the one think i told you not to do

Emily: burn the house down

JJ: and what did you do?

Emily: i made you dinner

JJ:

Emily:

JJ:

Emily: and burnt the house down

JJ: Did you eat my powdered donuts?

Emily: *mouth full of donuts* no.

JJ: Then what's the white powder on your jeans?

Emily: That's cocaine.

Emily: *laying on a pool chair unconscious*

Penelope, panicking: She’s not breathing!

Derek: I’ll give her mouth to mouth!

Emily: *opens one eye* Ew no! Let JJ do it!

*closes eye*

Spencer:

Hotch:

Rossi:

Penelope:

Derek:

JJ: GET OUT OF THE WAY, MOTHERFUCKERS

JJ: Do you like me?

Emily: No...

JJ: What if started dating-

Emily: What if I break their face!

Emily watching JJ give birth: I didn’t know it came with a leash.

Doctor: Ma’am, that is the umbilical cord.