Thinking Hard About The Line 'i Loved You Longer Than I Knew You' Because I Used It Months Ago For A

( sms ) : you know how you totally adore me? (sasayama at kogami)

[sms] 21.39: and you know how to get on my nerves [sms] 21.39: that's not what i asked [sms] 21.40: what's the situation? get any read of the map? signal's bad over here.

@lustraveil // texting prompts.

❛ so i suppose that it gets to a point where feelings gotta get hurt. ❜ (sasayama @ kogami ! )

load of bullshit.

the thought had been nagging at him all night, worming its way into the corner of his mind despite how often he told himself that these things didn’t matter to him, that he’d grown past the judgement of prioritizing his profession above expectations. it’s partially true. kogami’s focus drifted from his drink, the cheap can of beer resting atop worn out wood of a table that’d seen better years.

he knew he’d already had two to three beers too many, but that doesn’t stopping from swirling the half empty can of Sapporo beer between taut muscle, fingertips searching for anything solid that could ground him and keep him away from jabbing at sasayama’s back.

‘ i might have been glad to see you’ve fared well after your discharge, but now i don’t know. now i think you just piss me off. ’ no real bite in his words.

any other time in years past he would’ve obliged, perhaps dated the girl — a petite thing, charming smile, lean in the face, makes your stomach churn at the sigh. stealing moments together. he would’ve liked it back then, because it made him feel older, like he had his life under control.

funny how fast everything can change.

well, everything except sasayama. kogami hardly expects to hear an apology, sees the end of this teasing far outside his reach that perhaps the ordinariness of this evening makes kogami be more himself now that he’s ever been. he takes deep swig of his beer, making a halfhearted attempt to quiet down the pounding in his head since the moment he’d been masked with the question: will you take the leap or will you go on pretending that all there is to life is to sit behind a monitor and run drills, scan people’s faces from the better end of the dominator.unfair to her, should he play the role of pretender.

‘ figured i’d let her know, in case it got her hopes up for nothing. you’re one to judge. at the very least, i’m not the womanizer who can’t keep hands to himself. ’

@lustraveil

back to more serious things I think that aside from gathering curses during exorcism in his cult, geto also uses the properties he received from his sponsors as donations and turns them into shelters or any form of charity organization directed to nonsorcerer population because that way the negativity constantly circulating those places becomes curses or at the very least guide him to where the curses are gathered.

the use of a charity institution was a choice not from the kindness of his heart because he has no love for ordinary humans, it's a fiscal strategy so he can launder money for the expenses needed during his travels across the country in search of said curses for the upcoming parade.

🐝  *  ―  𝑵𝑶𝑵-𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺. (  some triggering content ahead. add " + " to reverse the action.  )

[ wipe ] sender wipes away receiver's tears [ hurt ] sender hurts receiver with words [ lonely ] sender finds receiver alone in a dark room [ wounded ] sender patches up receiver's wounds [ crying ] sender finds receiver crying [ help ] sender runs to receiver when they scream for help [ nightmare ] sender wakes receiver up from a nightmare [ dying breath ] sender talks to receiver before dying [ hold on ] sender pulls receiver into their arms [ anger ] sender takes their anger out on receiver [ argue ] sender gets into a heated argument with receiver [ scared ] sender scares receiver [ sick ] sender cares for receiver while they are sick [ palm ] sender places a hand on receiver to stop them from doing something [ fight ] sender gets into a physical fight with receiver [ comfort ] sender tries to comfort receiver [ blood ] sender notices that receiver is bleeding [ collapse ] sender collapses into receiver's arms [ pressure ] sender puts pressure on receiver's wound [ slap ] sender slaps receiver in the face [ panic ] sender helps receiver through a panic attack [ lie ] sender catches receiver in a lie [ sobs ] sender sobs uncontrollably while receiver holds them [ hiding ] sender finds out that receiver has hidden an injury from them [ death ] sender just died, receiver finds out [ chin up ] sender lifts receiver's chin to stop them from hiding their tears [ fears ] sender talks to receiver about their fears [ scream ] sender screams at receiver [ coping ] sender teaches receiver some coping mechanisms [ loss ] sender is there for receiver after they've lost someone important to them [ needs ] sender asks receiver what they need [ bullet ] sender takes a bullet for receiver [ bruises ] sender finds bruises of unknown origin on receiver [ rainfall ] sender finds receiver out alone in the rain [ hospital ] sender wakes up in a hospital bed and finds receiver sitting by their bedside [ intrude ] sender walks in on receiver treating their wounds [ calming ] sender tries to calm down receiver [ inspection ] sender holds receiver's face while inspecting an injury they got [ rescue ] sender carries receiver to safety [ clean ] sender cleans blood off of receiver's body

[anon hate] how can i name JUST ONE?! i was so taken by your geto the first time i came across him 😭 he is so far gone in his own beliefs yet somewhere in him his past still resonates and i love those moments where that human part of him still flickers ( like the nagi / haibara comparison ✨). not to mention how i adore when writing paints a picture because stories are always fun when you see the pictures - and having that abstract imagery just further brings your writing to life and i LOVEEEE SEEING IT. then there’s the wit that each character you play seems to have, kaiser, liu xiao, ( gojo too even if he’s not exactly a villain - ) … ALSO I LOVE HOW YOU PLAY VILLAINS!! you’re another writer who isn’t afraid to convey the darker aspects of your muse/s and show off their morally skewed perception. AND - and and and!!!! the fact that you hit the nail on the head with liu xiao when there was like 20 seconds of content of him before yingdu.

bravo, gold star. 20/10 writer would recommend. xia fei hands lx an autographed photo with a kiss mark 💋 ( ignore that im on cxs this is anon hate remember - ) [/anon hate]

There would be no Liu xiao without you and bug making me lock in to finish link click 😭🙏🙏🙏🙏I owe you guys my life. Already told you but I'm a huge fan of ur writing and I love every single crazy au sprouting in the moment. don't think for a second that the roommates au is over there's a lot more muses ready to move in too at this point the whole place is gonna be packed coughs the photo studio coughs. Tysmmmm ILY and everything you create 😻 @hourdive

Mad scientists will be like "I know a place" and then strap you onto the autopsy table

while re-reading Tokyo ghoul manga to wipe dust off my yomo muse I remembered how much I loved this series 😭😭 honestly miss writing Tsukiyama too... That was forever ago, so I'm not sure if his muse is still alive but we'll see.

still in awe at the constant flow of posts using the same line of "sorcerers aren't heroes in the story" to somehow diminish geto's actions throughout the series which, albeit born from reaching a breaking point after exploitation and misuse of his ability as well as the circumstances in which both he and gojo were forced to grow up into fine killers, it remains true that he killed more than a hundred of people indiscriminately (how convenient it would be that he only chose those who were "culprit" of mimiko and nanako's lynching, right? because there was a reliable way for him to know it right? there wasn't. it was indiscriminate killing under the assumption that not a single soul was free of sin), the murder of his parents who, as implied, were non-sorcerers as well and in order to add value and weight to his point, he considered their status as family didn't exempt them from sharing the same sin as the people in the village: by being ordinary humans they are bearers of cursed energy and their negativity would invariably end up being consumed by him, or the curse would consume someone else, someone like haibara, who was weaker, could be anyone but a sorcerer like him. and the treatment of every other non-sorcerer that he´s come across in the series.

i've mentioned this before in a different blog but i bring it here too: there is no possible way in the main timeline where geto will choose anything else but his goal of total erradication of non-sorcerers, because as a person who needs a purpose, who needs something to live for, the dawning realization that he'd wiped out entire bloodlines in a single night, the emptiness gnawing at him from within, made him seek for something that would justify his actions and he latched onto the first thing that he knew: the only way to prevent curses from being born is either to erradicate cursed energy from humans or the humans themselves. he chose the latter, so it ended up becoming a fundamental part of his identity, giving it up means giving up on himself altogether, it means that leaving everything behind, leaving his one and only best friend behind, the school, his comrades, the killing of his own family, all of it held no meaning at all and he needs it, he needs it to mean something, needs his existence to not have been that of a machine grinding meat for the higher ups to feast upon, that maybe this way he can have the liberty of acting upon his own desires and not those of others who only benefitted from the sacrifice of others. he turned his fangs back at them, and they hated him for it, but he hated himself more because he knows no other way to defend himself from total failure and meaninglessness.

so basically, while he is a victim of a corrupt system, just because sorcerers are not exactly heroes or molded to be saviors, it doesn't mean absolution: at the end of the day, even those who were also victims of the same system did not arrive to the same conclusion. his actions are entirely his own, it's the path he chose. he doesn't wish to be forgiven, he doesn't think to force others to follow. does the snake ask for the mice's forgiveness? does it expect it? it does not, it is hungry, it doesn't know any other way to eat but this. and would you tell the mice, the snake is misunderstood, it is hungry. would it make sense to them? silly metaphor because animals hunt by instinct but truth remains relatively the same: he knows what he can do and what his strength amounts to, and he makes conscious use of it, unrelenting. you can't exactly categorize him as anything else but what he is: a curse. the worst curse user.

⋞ 憂国のモリアーティ ⋟ : Sherlock Holmes

Happy Belated Birthday Erica! @qvalcuno

long time no see, my son

mother?