Bellatrix: No, I Don't Want To Talk About Physics! I Don't Know Anything About The Laws Of Physics Because

Important!!

I was wondering should I make it so they have more children than just harry? Like in Harry's timeline sev is either pregnant with teddy or he just had teddy? If some of you have played Hogwarts mystery then you about Chiara should she be one of their kids? Id make her the eldest because Hogwarts mystery timeline is during Harry's baby years. She would also be sev and moony's bio baby like how harry is sev and James's bio baby but then I think what about Sirius? He didn't have any children that I could make his and sev's so should I keep the Hogwarts mystery theme going and make Merula their child? Or do 'jacobs sibling' and have a y/n child? Harry is going to be the main child because he's the only one that traveled back in time, if I do that they'll have 4 kids Chiara (sev and moony's), Merula or y/n (sev and Sirius') (they'd probably be a year apart or maybe twins) harry (sev and James') and than teddy (sev and Remus') . Thoughts? I was thinking about it because I while writing,I thought about harry just randomly saying "*random sibling* would like this or they like that" and shocking them that they had more then just harry and so each have their own kid with sev (not that they love the other ones any less) let me know what you all think!

Lily: Severus, I think we have a problem.

Severus: What, the fire?

Lily: No, the- wait, what fire?

Severus: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

*******************Reversed Roles*****************

Severus: Lily, I think we have a problem.

Lily: What, the fire?

Severus: No, the- wait, what fire?

Lily: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

i’m concerned about boys with mental illnesses and eating disorders and abusive relationships and sexual assault survivor stories and self-harming tendencies who never get the attention or care or help they need because all of those things “don’t happen to men” or because “all men are horrible monsters” and i just wanna say if you’re a boy and you’re struggling with something hard, your gender doesn’t diminish or dismiss your struggles or make them any less significant or difficult and i love you and i’m here for you

THEY UPDATED HERE U ARE!!!!!!!

Severus: Hey guys I just found a new song I really like-

Regulus: Is it about death?

Severus: No.

Bellatrix: Is it about drugs?

Lucius: Is it about sex?

Severus: NO- it's about happiness and peace and-

Regulus, Bellatrix, and Lucius:

Severus: Wow, Remus, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Remus: We literally slept together yesterday.

Severus: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Buck: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Eddie: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Severus: Lily! My face is on fire!

Lily: Severus! Are you ok?!

Severus: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Lily: But your face is on fire.

Severus: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

More incorrect quotes

******************************

Severus: Start talking!

James: Well, I-

Severus: Shut up!

*****************************

James: This date is boring!

Severus: This isnt a date. I said I was going to the store.

James: Then why did you invite me?

Severus: I didnt, I specifically said "dont come with me" then you said " fuck you Severus I'll do whatever I want!

****************************

Severus: Bro-

James: No, no, hold up, rewind.

James: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

***************************

Sirius: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?

Severus: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.

**************************

James: Can I ask a dumb question?

Severus: Better than anyone I know.

*************************

Remus: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gunna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?

Severus: Why should I feed you if your just gunna die anyways?

Remus:

Remus: I'll go make my bed-

************************

Severus: Remus, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?

Remus: Sirius, Severus wants you to get out of the house.

***********************

Remus, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Severus, not looking up from their book: Really? James, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

**********************

Sirius: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Severus: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

James: Fuck you.

*********************

Sirius: Severus, I am questioning your sanity...

James: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

********************

James: Remus, I’m afraid.

Remus: Just stay close to Severus.

James: That's why I’m afraid.

*******************

Remus: And now for a gay update with Severus and Sirius.

Sirius: Getting gayer.

Remus: Thank you, Sirius.

******************

Remus: H-how do you ask someone out?

Sirius: Well, first-

Severus: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.

Remus: ...And you said yes?

*****************

James: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

Severus: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

James: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

Remus: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

****************

Sirius: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Severus: Okay.

Sirius: And make out during the scary parts.

Severus: Th-

Severus: The scary parts.

Severus: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

***************

Severus: Look, last night was a mistake.

Sirius: A sexy mistake.

Severus: No, just a regular mistake.

**************

Severus, after getting a job as a life guard: Hmm... I wonder what those things at the bottom of the pool are..

Remus: THOSE ARE PEOPLE DROWNING!

*************

Remus: *angrily presses Severus against a wall* WHERE'S THE CHOCOLATE?!

Severus: ...

Severus: Are we about to kiss-

************

Severus: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Remus: Those are wanted posters!

***********

Severus: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

James: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Severus: ...

Severus: You mean ring bearER, right?

James: ...

Severus: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

**********

*James and Severus looking at a locked gate into a park*

James: Aw. :(

Severus: You know what they say.

James: Please don’t-

Severus: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

James: Fuck-

*********

Severus: Watcha doin?

James: Stealing my neighbour’s cat.

Severus: Scandalous.

Severus: Can I help?

********

James: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

Severus: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

*******

Severus: What's gone wrong, James?

James: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis.

Severus: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling?

James: Well... There’s a crisis.

******

Severus: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.

James: What?

Severus: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

*****

Sirius, dramatically: They called me a fool.

Severus, sick of Sirius's shit: They weren’t wrong.

****

Severus: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Sirius: This is a lie.

Sirius: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Sirius: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

***

Severus: You shouldn't be using a straw.

Sirius: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.

Severus: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.

**

Sirius: We all have our demons.

Sirius, grabbing Severus: This one’s mine.

*

Sirius: What goes up but never comes down?

Severus: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

¡Help please! 😫🙏

So I found this fic on AO3 where Severus meets and gets sorta adopted by his grandparents (on Eileen's side) I can't remember their names but they were both males and I think one was a male-carrier, Eileen wasn't nice in this one, something happened and James sent an owl to several and decided to follow it, he found out sev was being abused and took him back to Potter manor, the healer recognized Severus and contacted his grandfather's, Lucius was a good friend and kept checking on sev, Remus's father was not that great but having met a werewolf auror who helped him with fixing his relationship with his son and understanding werewolves better, they fall in love, Lily's a bitch who was stealing her parents money and sneaking out and bullying petunia, I think it's snames or maybe snupin I can't remember. Or marauders X Severus I really don't know

OH! and the marauders (except Peter) start working at a potion shop!

¡Someone please help me find it!