The Cake Batter Will Run With The Water Of My Enemies

i had a dream i went to nintendo and they revealed to me that all this time the real pokemon designer was this Russian guy named Vladimir Pokemondesigner and i asked him why he named jigglypuff that and he said “is puff. is jiggly. are you a jokester?” and crushed my head like an empty soda can

I put my hand into a lovely, lovely pile of fluffy looking metal shavings expecting them to be soft and gentle, but no! I am forsaken and backstabbed and now I have cuts on my hand :(

I swear I won't see the Eldritch horrors, not anymore

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

People that work in customer service shudder in fear of the earth devouring worm

everyday I'm super happy that the enormous earth devouring worm still doesn't know how to get to the service yet. I hope he stays lost down there eating fuck all going in random circles until the end of time

Some of the setting's creatures are literally just mundane animals completely indistinguishable from real-life ones just with fancier names. "Swamp wyrms" are just alligators. "Dicorns" are just gazelles. "Dire mice" are just rats. "Zangloraths" are just bears.

Bestiary of our world written by halflings.

Didn't realise it swung both ways

Nearly hit myself in the face with a bisexual door

NO I SCROLLED UP AND REFRESHED THE DAMN PAGE I DONT WANT TO SCROLL BACK UP AGAIN WHYD THIS RE APEAR

you gotta start scrolling upwards now im sorry

Bad bitches know about the carbon cycle

So are earwigs!

queen bees are generally too heavy to fly due to their enormous ovaries and i think that’s fantastic

Learn to code today, become a wizard

please learn how to code

like, if you're bored today, and not doing anything,

learn a little bit of coding please