Deathtoyouandtoyours - Get Off My Blog

‏Hello, can you please reblog or publish a post for my campaign? Due to the weakness of donations, they pass slowly as ice. I hope you can help me. A small amount like $10 will be more than useful to help me and my family. Thank you for everything💔🙏

‏Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundrais‼️💔🍉🍉🍉

Farah is #310 on the Vetted Fundraisers List‼️

‏Right now, donated money is being used to help us survive this war. Food is very expensive and my family has to pay rent for the land that our tent is on. However, I want to save up enough money to evacuate my family to a safer place where we can rebuild our lives. I dream of returning to university to finish my computer science degree. I want to provide a better life for my family than is possible in Gaza. My family and I have many dreams we would like to fulfill after this war. We are grateful to everyone who donated and helps us during this time of suffering. Thank you for reading

‏https://gofund.me/73d4b003

Guys please help them if you can. I currently have no money, but I'm spreading this. If you also have no money, you can help by spreading awareness

"You'll grow out of being sensitive."

"You need to grow up and stop crying all the time."

"You can't let everything hurt you like this."

Will I really grow out of this though? It doesn't make sense. My mouth starts moving before i think, and someone says that they weren't talking to me, that I should be quiet...

And suddenly I'm six years old again, being yelled at constantly and occasionally beaten for talking too much or talking out of turn.

Why does it hurt so much? It shouldn't hurt. We're all adults and they even said it somewhat gently... So why do the tears roll?

I dunno man. I found out today that a subway sandwich is $14 now. A shitty subway footlong sandwich that isn't actually 12 inches long and is occasionally made with expired ingredients and was never a great option to start with. I ate those in high school because I was broke and at the mall a lot.

There are poke bowls in my city from a local place for $16. Super fresh fish and veg, warm rice, more than I can eat in one sitting, for the price of a sandwich and a drink at america's most mid-tier sandwich shop.

Someone in another post said (paraphrased) you used to be able to get something mediocre for cheap, but now the mediocre things cost as much as the nice things so why would you?

Working, regardless of industry, can be hard if you're like me. They expect both speed AND accuracy. I can only do one or the other, and it's all or nothing. If I'm accurate and do my job well, I'll be too slow. If I'm quick and can finish in a timely manner, it's all wrong and I might have to start over. But they want BOTH.

Gifted burnout and perfectionism

At first, I couldn’t relate to all the other people with gifted burnout when they talked about perfectionism. My academic perfectionism had died already...but then I started working and good freaking grief. It happened. I made my first mistake on the first day and almost cried. It was something so small that I couldn’t have known better because I’d never worked retail, but it messed me up. Then, I made  more mistakes and felt even worse. I might quit soon

I saw this post on instagram, an this hits home.

3 years ago, I was in the same boat, I have a lot of frustrations; that my mood gets affected and being the empath and hyper sensitive persona that I am, it was affecting my perceptions, I though it was just hormones-due to postpartum, and I was feeling depress, frustrated, lonely mad at myself I always question if I was the problem, since all the feelings that I have at that time and the actions that I have been doing was newness. I have never felt that way before, and I don't really know how to react, and I hate the feeling that I was feeling. Then the moment of break that much need, the time away from my "abuser- narc" got me that sense of relief but at the same time still felt a little guilt because I have to take that time away, but deep down I know that I needed it, it was all weird to me because I was trying to understand my abuser, I thought he was just having a tough time and I needed to be there for him despite the emotional torment, harsh words that came from him. All along that guilt feeling that I have is because of him, I didn't know that what to call it, and how to explain it. But truly I was bottling this anger inside. It's like a feeling of drowning.

I was feeling guilty because I was angry, I was not kind to myself I hate myself for having that feelings towards someone. It's very toxic. But now I realize that "anger" was of a healthy kind, that it was my minds response to not tolerate the maltreatment any longer.

Fast forward to this day, I'm still thriving, but I can breathe a little, as I have learned how to establish good boundaries, and would no longer accept to be mistreated. I still practice kindness, but won't tolerate any longer as this I know helps the abuser to realize; if they don't, then that's on them and not in me.

I'm a people pleaser, a selfless person that will put others first before myself. That is who I am. But learning how to establish boundaries is my take away from the experience. I'm still far away from a better me, but I know I can hold my head up as I navigate through this.

Walked my silly little clumsy ass into work tonight and broke a jar. One hour into my shift and I broke a glass jar... :|

I want to go home omfg

But I can't and they're making me work EXTRA fast. I can't keep up with the pace and they might fire me :p

Nobody Told Me This shit would suck so much

first job. walmart. sucks. I think i was mildly depressed before and maybe didn’t really notice; now i REALLY feel it. Ive been crying freaking rivers the past few days. especially before and after work. and its so hard to keep it mostly hidden. i felt guilty and useless before for not doing much with my time, but it hasnt really changed. im so tired and fucking upset. its so hard, but they tell me to be happy that im making so much for a place like walmart, i hate it. i never wanted to grow up and suffer, i just wanna feel okay. i wanna run away from all of this, maybe even disappear. this world is so painful. maybe im not cut out for all of this, i just wanna sleep

fucked up how colors look different depending on what screen you’re looking at them on. that should be illegal I think