Adhd But Not For Me
Adhd but not for me
Why is it that my brother and I had the same gifted burnout, but he got got diagnosed with adhd and got meds, but I got nothing? I line up with a lot of both autism and adhd traits, but “No, you don’t have autism, no way. Mayyyybe just a little adhd. You’re just quirky” as if having autism is so horrible
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fucked up how colors look different depending on what screen you’re looking at them on. that should be illegal I think
Holy shit. The Israeli whistleblower story CNN just broke is insane. I cannot believe what I’m reading
Is there a term to describe people with "trauma" who don't know if theirs even constitutes as trauma? And if it is, then it's not as bad as it could've been? Like instead of having drug dealing parents who beat you into a concussion weekly, you had parents who never seemed to quite be proud of you, parents who had a clear favorite, could be considered abusive to certain degrees but verbally abusive more often than physically? What about the guilt that comes with it? I would like to know for several purposes...
Happy aniversary you dumb fucks @staff
Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!
shit....
Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!
Anonymous asked: "i have ADHD and ASD, I don’t know if they really play a role in my difficulty to write scripts or outlines, but it seems like whenever i want to start a story project and visualise it into writing and art, it just…..doesn’t work? Like, i have story ideas, but the way they come out never meet my satisfaction or, at least, the way i write them, feels too restricting and….i don’t know?
writing scripts, the dialogue feels very bland and tedious - writing outlines is fine for me but i put too much thought into them to the point they are restricting. but, also, when i try to make up a story as i go with a basic plot in mind, i lose a massive sense of direction if i don’t have an outline or script. and i just feel very, very stuck."
If you're just looking for a short-form list of tips and tricks that might help make creating easier, I have a post here that offers advice on writing with ADHD that you may find helpful.
However, I found this question really interesting and wanted to do a more in-depth exploration of the topic of creating with ADHD/ASD and the difficulties that can come with that, as well. I have a lot of thoughts on the topic as an ADHD/ASD creator myself, so it got quite long, but I hope you might find some of them interesting or useful.
-
Do ADHD/ASD Play a Role?
Firstly, I believe that my ADHD and ASD affect just about every part of my life, including my creative process, and I imagine the same is likely true for you. It's entirely plausible (and I would even say likely) that they're playing a part in the conflict you feel when trying to create.
That being said, I also believe that there are ways we can accommodate or work around our unique challenges rather than putting effort into trying to overcome them or letting them get us down. I also don't think your difficulties are exclusively a result of ADHD/ASD, either, and I'll be discussing both points in more detail below.
-
On Meeting Your Own Expectations
I think, at least to some extent, your first paragraph could apply to most creators, regardless of ADHD/ASD.
Very rarely do I find that my works end up matching what I visualise in my mind, and it can often be frustrating and demotivating when what I produce seems inferior to the hypothetical version I had planned or envisioned. And I've seen this same sentiment expressed by a lot of artists and writers.
When those feelings crop up, I try to remind myself that it's okay, nobody else has seen the hypothetical 'perfect version' of what I was trying to create that's in my mind, and they'll be judging the work on its own merits instead. I think an important part of being a creator is consciously working on accepting that things will almost never go exactly as envisioned, and that's okay. It's not a reason to abandon the work, and the more you keep creating, the more practice you'll have getting your ideas down.
It's definitely easier said than done, but as with all creative pursuits, feeling beholden to perfection will ultimately prevent you from getting anything done or growing as a creator, and sometimes you have to just let things go and keep moving forward. A work doesn't have to be perfect to have value and be worthy of praise.
-
On Perfectionism
All that being said, I wouldn't be at all surprised if your ADHD and ASD were compounding on this common experience to a degree. It's very common for people with ASD to be inflexible and extremely detail-oriented, and many an ADHDer can struggle with perfectionism (which I've briefly discussed in the second half of this post). Falling into the trap of obsessively tweaking things until they're just right is pretty easy.
The good news is that I think when you're aware that these are pitfalls you're likely to experience, you can better notice them and implement measures to help you work around them. Better understanding your symptoms and being kind to yourself when you experience them can make the situation less hostile, and researching how to cope with/compensate for them could help not only with your creative process, but other areas of life as well.
-
On Finding Your Creative Process
A big part of creating is finding a process that works for you.
Some people plan in meticulous detail while others fly by the seat of their pants; some prepare outlines and tough drafts and follow the steps in order and others bounce around and make it up as they go.
From the way you're describing things, it sounds like your current process isn't working for you, and you may benefit from changing your approach to creating entirely. You already seem to be consciously aware of the parts that are causing the most difficulty and frustration for you, so the next step is to brainstorm how to modify them to make your creativity more accessible to you.
I, for example, write scenes out of order and constantly go back and add to them as I get new ideas. I also draw my lineart in random sections, moving on to a new one anytime I get bored (even if the current section isn't finished) until it eventually comes together like a patchwork quilt. These are some ways I've found to keep things interesting and keep me engaged in the work, and they may seem weird, but they sure do work!
-
So Let's Do Some Brainstorming
If you overthink your outlines and then feel stifled by them, try deliberately limiting how much detail you allow yourself to include. It's not an 'all or nothing' situation, and you can practise and experiment with varying document layouts and amounts of detail until you've found something that feels more approachable.
If you're currently writing paragraphs, try bullet points, or a flow chart, or sticky notes that you can rearrange. If you plot out every detail, try starting with only the most major events so you always have some direction for where the story is going but still allow for more freedom and creativity. If you spend hours on an outline, try setting a timer so you only have a set amount of time for each point.
And remember that you can change your outline as you go! If you're so caught up in following your outline that it's stifling your creativity, maybe it's an issue of perspective rather than process. Remind yourself that your outline is a tool to help you and that you're free to adjust it whenever it's not serving its purpose.
I don't know what your current process looks like so maybe these specific examples aren't helpful to you, but hopefully they can illustrate how to look at the areas where you're getting stuck and find a way to change them so that they suit your needs. Even if it seems unconventional or doesn't align with the process other people use or have told you to use, it's important to do what works for you.
-
In Summary / TL;DR
Creativity in general often comes down to experimenting until you find a method/process/style that works for you, and that's true for anyone. It's also true that art rarely goes exactly as planned, and sometimes you just have to accept that you've done well enough and move on.
But when you're a creator with ADHD/ASD, it can be extra difficult to do so because of our unique challenges related to internal motivation, perfectionism, and staying focused and flexible. Being aware of your symptoms and the challenges that they might present, and specifically tailoring your workspace and process to account for them while being kind to yourself when you find yourself struggling, can allow you to create with a lot less frustration.
None of these changes will happen instantaneously, but hopefully being aware of them and making the effort over time will help you to start seeing a difference in your work. Good luck!
Closet hiding?
Did any other neurodivergent kids hide in closets? Like when you were overwhelmed or maybe just to find a quiet spot to be alone and undisturbed? Maybe for no reason other than enjoying sitting in closets? Is that even a neurodivergent thing? I hope I’m not the only one who did this.
Hey everyone, this is Bisan from Gaza. I'm still alive but Hind is not. Do you remember Hind Rajab? This seven (7) years old child who was missed 12 days ago. Hind was in a car with five (5) family members and they were all killed - except Hind - by an Israeli bomb, and then she called the Ambulance, she asked them to rescue her. Two Ambulance men from the Red Crescent tried to do this but they were also missed. Now; today they were found killed. The body of Hind found killed, found murdered. It's just a new massacre added to the list of endlessly massacres committed by Israel against my people; Palestinians in Gaza right now.
No one holds Israel accountable until now. No one is doing anything. Hind was killed. Who is the next? I don't know, it might be any one of us, but I mean, it's a new, it's a new massacre - she is murdered. You all heard her story, you all heard her voice asking for help saying (Bisan speaks in Arabic first then translates to English the following) "take me with you, take me from here". She was between dead bodies for days, alone and no one could rescue her. We knew where she was, we knew that she was okay, we knew that she could contact the Red Crescent but no one rescued her.
-- Bisan on Instagram, 02.10.2024
There really is nothing left to say.
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