They Make Me Violently Ill

I'm 18 and my dad has dementia

I'm 18 and I'm both the youngest and oldest I've ever been

I'm 18 and I want hug from you

I'm 18. Happy birthday to me. What a joyous world.

We got everything

To be honest,

As an autistic person, I wish I'd stop trying to live up to the expectations of neurotypical people. I'd like to say that im pretty confident in myself, but sometimes I forget to put myself first (when it comes to my feelings n wtv) and I end up a mess. It makes me sad. Confident is like a water bottle: sometimes it sways one-way, other times it sways the other way. It deserves to be drank regardless. Does that make sense? Ionno

Just because I love you, doesn't mean that's enough for anything.

I adore you, I always will. Goodness knows why I do.

After every little betrayal, after every little hurt. After every person gone, after every person come.

I long for you. More than words will ever tell.

Im not good at being older than I am. I'm not an "old soul" nor am I any ounce of mature. I'm aware of that. Very much aware. But im also aware that I love you. Which is why you're not here now. Because I won't let you hurt yourself. Because I love you. I will love you forever until the day I perish.

God, do I miss you. Do you miss me, too? Or are you still angry at me?

You'll always be by my side. You're my Shadow.