I Ain't Chasing Nothing But A Better Life.

when you’re under a ton of stress then start to notice your memory worsen, your headaches becoming more frequent, and communication going nonexistent…

my shadowvanilla idol AU! i've been cooking this in my mind for a long time so I finally made it happen!

"Having friends in your head must be so fun!!"

Okay, say it's fun when someone that isn't you takes over your body and decides to do something horrid? Not necessarily a crime, but say, broke up with your lover(s), or cut you off from your entire family.

We're all mentally unstable, at any moment one of us can just decide to commit and it's the end.

It's not fun. It's scary.

Especially because not all of us are "friends", many of us simply get along because we are stuck together.

—Kluk

Great soup even

When two characters are dancing around their very obvious feelings for one another. And it’s the night before the big fight. Either of them could very well die. They both know this. One confesses their feelings, the one who’s usually so quiet, so pent up because this love isn’t something they think they deserve. And the other is overjoyed, ready to catch up on years spent pining hopefully from the sidelines. And then the battle happens. The confessor nearly dies. It comes to light they only confessed because they fully intended to die and didn’t want their lover to not know how they really felt. So now they have to navigate this aftermath. How do you deal with knowing your lover loves you, but not enough to live for you? Good soup….

Yknow, my highest weight was 118lb. I was 7th grade.

My lowest was 87lb, with my mother shoving down diet pills because she was too fat and we had to "support her through trying times".

I spent alot of my childhood pushing my body to its limits. I have torn muscles and broken bones without flinching, pushing past the pains. I was "invincible". "Invincible" meant that I wouldn't die. That I would get out of the hellhole my mother called "our home".

Its been almost 4 years since I last lived with my mother. 4 years of watching the scales. 4 years experiencing the passage of time. Surprisingly, it was forgiving. It was soft, gentle, a lovers kiss after a rough day. A father's hug after a heartbreak. A comfort. True comfort.

I've gained weight, I've lost weight, I've gained some of it back. I lost the majority of my muscle, I gained a bit of it, and now it's actively shedding.

And as i sit here, full from the Thanksgiving feast. I've realized one thing.

My body is how it should be. All things get better.

And man my girlfriend makes bombastic banana pudding pie.

Desperately needed to have this on my blog

I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about you I swear

I just realized it said "want ideas that won't get arrested" KYSSSSSSS DIEDIEDIEEE

It knows me too well... sigh