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8 Ways For Highly Sensitive People to Break Free From Loneliness

October 31, 2019

Although it has taken me some time to write this article, I have been actively experimenting with techniques to break free from the loneliness I discussed in my last article.

I have recently discovered that loneliness can be temporary or it may be complex and chronic in nature. I am also realizing there is no quick and easy fix to my chronic sense of loneliness.

I do not believe one is hopeless in such a situation, as the healing process requires time and patience to overcome this obstacle.

I know many highly sensitive people can relate to my experience with loneliness. Therefore, I would love to share with you eight beneficial coping strategies that are bringing me a sense of relief on my healing path!

8 Ways a Highly Sensitive Person Can Break Free From the Chains of Loneliness and Gain a Sense of Connection!

1. Awareness

Being aware that you are lonely, rather than simply embracing solitude can be the first step to addressing an issue with loneliness. Having awareness about your vulnerabilities such as being HSP, experiencing grief, trauma, etc... It is also important to be aware that you are not alone and that there are others out there going through similar experiences. There truly is an abundance of support and like minded people in the world if you are willing to receive it!

2. Healing Work

Many highly sensitive people come from backgrounds filled with complex trauma or abuse that may have impacted the body mind and spirit of these sensitive souls. Therefore, an integrative approach may be beneficial in order to address the various underlying aspects that lead to a chronic sense of loneliness. For example, tending to one's physical, mental, and spiritual needs. Healing modalities may range from counseling, addiction recovery, therapy, support groups, alternative methods, and general health care. It may also require a degree of patience along with vigilance during the healing process and I know it is not an easy path (but worth it!)

3. Make Connection a Priority and Build It Into a Routine.

 An excellent way to integrate a sense of connection with routine, is by starting small and increasing socialization gradually. Since everyone has different personal and social needs, increasing one's sense of connection may look different from person to person. This may simply include going out for a walk, a friendly greeting to another person, connecting with the essence of nature, blocking out a specific time to spend with a close friend regularly. I personally find elements of comfort to be helpful( i.e. person, place, object, or existing routine), while transitioning to a new routine. As you gradually experiment with this concept, observe how each activity makes you feel to track progress over time. Over time, you can gain momentum and see how far you have come!

4. Seek Out Connections With Like Minded People and Value Existing Connections

As highly sensitive people, we tend to value deep connections and prefer depth over breadth in relationships rather than quantity. I know this can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration for HSPs. I do believe it to be few and far between to find such connections but they do exist! Although it is rare, many of us have experienced these connections at some point in our lives and I am extremely grateful for those special connections as many people may never experience this in a lifetime!

Seeking out connections with like minded people can be comforting. You will also find that many others are going through similar experiences and not only need support but want to be supportive as well. By being available and of service to others, one can experience a sense of relief as well as connections.

 5. Lower Expectations With Others 

One thing I have observed about myself,(and many people in general) is a tendency to have unrealistic expectations about people without considering people's differences. I am learning that everyone approaches and processes situations differently, particularly in comparison to highly sensitive people. I also find that a great number of people in this day in age are not truly capable or available for healthy intimacy. Therefore, I realize the unnecessary struggle of taking things as personally.

6. Grounding

 There are a variety of ways to ground or center one's self.I find t connecting with nature to have profound effects, particularly after my recent visit to Alaska( ie. witnessing the beautiful scenery such as the northern lights). This can be a great way to not only embrace the sensory experience but escape from a ruminating mind. Exercises such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or shielding energy with an imaginary white light or bubble can create a similar grounding effect.

Lastly, striving for a sense of autonomy and breaking free from entanglements/relationships that create energetic codependency can help protect a person's energy. Taking a walk and connecting with nature can also be a helpful technique to switch from a ruminating mind into the senses.

7. Busy Your Schedule Doing What You Love

 Volunteer for a cause that you value or participate in a hobby such as a creative project you are passionate about. I find that by immersing myself in these activities, I experience a sense of connection, purpose, and being part of something greater than myself and my struggles.

8.Connect With Yourself and Love Yourself Unconditionally

This can also be a great opportunity to embrace solitude and experience the oneness with life!

 Reexamine old beliefs about yourself or past experiences and see if it is an obstacle from putting yourself out there into the world. Many times we believe lies about ourselves and miss the opportunities to reach our potentials and create our dream lives as a result of false self beliefs. 

Learning to have self compassion and acceptance can be a great way to connect with yourself and love yourself unconditionally. I know this can take time and it can be rough at times but please remember that feelings are not always facts and whatever you are going through will pass.  Filling yourself with love and acceptance create self sufficiency. With this self sufficiency, I believe one can more easily love and connect with others as well as extend that love to others with a fuller love tank!

Thank you for letting me share about my experience with loneliness and the lessons I have learned regarding this issue! There truly can be so much more to this than simply needing to be around people as it is often more about experiencing healing and connection! How do you cope with loneliness or experience connection?

With Love,

Dahlia

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10 Signs You May Be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

March 5, 2019

In a world where being sensitive is misinterpreted as being fragile or weak, many people tend to avoid there feelings and hide their sensitivity. We live in a time where society encourages us to run away from our genuine emotions and we are told to toughen up.

As HSPs, we tend to struggle with this because we have such sensitive nervous systems.This is not an indication, however, that HSPs are weak or damaged individuals.

Highly sensitive people are genetically wired to have finally tuned nervous systems and can easily be over stimulated by various factors(both external and internal stimuli).

Being on the receiving end of an excessive amount stimuli can be very overwhelming and stressful for HSPs. Being wired differently than most of the population can also make it difficult for HSPs to feel validated and understood. It can also make an HSP more prone to a number of physical and emotional issues. It's no wonder so many HSPs tend to need more time to retreat and spend more time alone than other's.

I know all too well how it feels to feel too much and suffer from various ailments ranging from depression and anxiety to chronic fatigue syndrome. I've always felt misunderstood or judged by many people. If you are going through anything like this, I'm here to assure you that you are not alone.

Fortunately, there are a variety of resources and tools that can help HSPs survive and thrive. I honestly don't know where I would be if I didn't learn about my HSP traits as well as related topics to the HSP.

Although I am still a work in progress, discovering that I'm a highly sensitive person and learning ways to work with this trait, has helped me become more self aware. It helped me realize that I needed to do more self care and enforce boundaries when needed. It helped me realize I need to stop being so hard on myself. It has also lead me to make connections to other related topics and have a better understanding of why I'm the way I am. Learning about all this has also helped me realize that being an HSP does not make me an incredibly flawed individual and has lead me to realize that I am not alone. Learning about being the HSP has also helped me find new ways of making my life more manageable.

In the next section, I wrote a list of 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person. Not everyone will identify with every trait and having a small amount of traits is not an indication of being an HSP. I know there are many ways to list HSP traits and many of the traits overlap, so I summed up a variation of common traits into a list of 10 signs. Following are 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person.

10 Signs You May Be A Highly Sensitive Person

1. You are Hypersensitive To The Physical Environment (Including To Noise, Sight, Touch, Smell, Taste, and Tempurature)

i.e. You may be hyperensitive to bright lights or noisy crowds. You may also embrace and appreciate positive sensory stimuli more than other's and may be more in touch with a beautiful work of art or be musically inclined. You may also prefer to be in nature.

2. You are More Emotionally Sensitive Than Most People and Have Been Told You Are "Too Sensitive"

i.e. You have felt misunderstood or have been told you are overly sensitive and that you need to grow "thicker skin". Some HSPs feel the need to avoid watching violent movies due to a high sensitivity to violence. Highly sensitive people also suffer from emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. On the other hand, being sensitive can be linked to that spark of creativity HSPs often experience.

3. Avoids Conflicts

Many HSPs fear making mistakes and fear rejection. There is also a tendancy toward perfectionism and avoidant behaviors. Many highly sensitive people are conscientious and have self esteem issues. An HSP may have a preference for introversion. HSPs tend to have difficulty making decisions or a tendency to procrastinate. Because many HSPs easily suffer from sensory overload, retreating alone in a peaceful environment can help HSPs recharge and feel less overwhelmed.

4. You Easily Pick Up On Other's Moods/ Behaviors (Or May Be Empathic)

This can lead to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, stressed, and can be very draining for HSPs. It may also be linked to various physical ailments such as having physical pain or fatigue. Being highly sensitive may also be linked to why so many HSPs are empathic and are more in tune with the needs of other's, including animals. They often are seen working in the helping professions or doing humanitarian work.

5. Intuitive

Many highly sensitive people tend to connect ideas and patterns that other's seem to miss. This may lead to being misunderstood by other's. It may also be why so many HSPs have been known to be innovative or create great works of art. HSPs often have the ability of finding new ways to solve problems.

6. Highly Imaginative

Highly sensitive people often have a rich or overactive inner world. This may be related to why HSPs tend to over think or over analyze situations. This may be a reason why highly sensitive people tend to worry a lot and may easily jump to conclusions about things. Highly sensitive people tend to daydream and may appear inattentive or "spacey" to non HSPs. On the same note, having a rich imagination can also spark creativity.

7. Sensitive To Energies

This may lead to over stimulation or feeling uncomfortable in an environment or around certain people or circumstances. This can occur because many HSPs may easily sense the vibes of a room or person. HSPs also tend to be spiritual and may be spiritually sensitive. Energy sensitivity can be a very enjoyable experience if the HSP is in tune with positive energies.

8. Difficulty Sleeping

With all the various stimuli emerging from various sources to the HSPs sensitive nervous system, it is no wonder HSPs are prone to overthinking and feeling. It is also no surprise that many HSPs suffer from sleep issues such as insomnia.

9. Attract Toxic Relationships

Many HSPs tend to attract toxic people such as narcissists or other unavailable people. This is definately where awareness and boundaries may come in hand. Although toxic people are often drawn to HSPs, a variety of people are also drawn to high sensitives in general. Many people are drawn to the caring and understanding nature of HSPs and turn to them for helping assistance, guidance, or for someone to confide in.

10. Do Not Like Being Micromanaged/Judged

Highly sensitive people tend to br hypervigilent to other's behaviors/cues and can easily become uncomfortable or anxious when it feels as if we are being observed under a microscope. This can negatively effect an HSPs performance or functioning, which can make matters worse.

Hopefully this post has been helpful in some way or has helped you recognize that you or someone you know is a highly sensitive person. Identifying as an HSP is one of the first steps to changing ones life for the better! So... Are you a highly sensitive person? Feel free to let me know in the comments. Thankyou and I will post again soon!

With love,

Dahlia

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