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March 5, 2019
In a world where being sensitive is misinterpreted as being fragile or weak, many people tend to avoid there feelings and hide their sensitivity. We live in a time where society encourages us to run away from our genuine emotions and we are told to toughen up.
As HSPs, we tend to struggle with this because we have such sensitive nervous systems.This is not an indication, however, that HSPs are weak or damaged individuals.
Highly sensitive people are genetically wired to have finally tuned nervous systems and can easily be over stimulated by various factors(both external and internal stimuli).
Being on the receiving end of an excessive amount stimuli can be very overwhelming and stressful for HSPs. Being wired differently than most of the population can also make it difficult for HSPs to feel validated and understood. It can also make an HSP more prone to a number of physical and emotional issues. It's no wonder so many HSPs tend to need more time to retreat and spend more time alone than other's.
I know all too well how it feels to feel too much and suffer from various ailments ranging from depression and anxiety to chronic fatigue syndrome. I've always felt misunderstood or judged by many people. If you are going through anything like this, I'm here to assure you that you are not alone.
Fortunately, there are a variety of resources and tools that can help HSPs survive and thrive. I honestly don't know where I would be if I didn't learn about my HSP traits as well as related topics to the HSP.
Although I am still a work in progress, discovering that I'm a highly sensitive person and learning ways to work with this trait, has helped me become more self aware. It helped me realize that I needed to do more self care and enforce boundaries when needed. It helped me realize I need to stop being so hard on myself. It has also lead me to make connections to other related topics and have a better understanding of why I'm the way I am. Learning about all this has also helped me realize that being an HSP does not make me an incredibly flawed individual and has lead me to realize that I am not alone. Learning about being the HSP has also helped me find new ways of making my life more manageable.
In the next section, I wrote a list of 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person. Not everyone will identify with every trait and having a small amount of traits is not an indication of being an HSP. I know there are many ways to list HSP traits and many of the traits overlap, so I summed up a variation of common traits into a list of 10 signs. Following are 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person.
i.e. You may be hyperensitive to bright lights or noisy crowds. You may also embrace and appreciate positive sensory stimuli more than other's and may be more in touch with a beautiful work of art or be musically inclined. You may also prefer to be in nature.
i.e. You have felt misunderstood or have been told you are overly sensitive and that you need to grow "thicker skin". Some HSPs feel the need to avoid watching violent movies due to a high sensitivity to violence. Highly sensitive people also suffer from emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. On the other hand, being sensitive can be linked to that spark of creativity HSPs often experience.
Many HSPs fear making mistakes and fear rejection. There is also a tendancy toward perfectionism and avoidant behaviors. Many highly sensitive people are conscientious and have self esteem issues. An HSP may have a preference for introversion. HSPs tend to have difficulty making decisions or a tendency to procrastinate. Because many HSPs easily suffer from sensory overload, retreating alone in a peaceful environment can help HSPs recharge and feel less overwhelmed.
This can lead to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, stressed, and can be very draining for HSPs. It may also be linked to various physical ailments such as having physical pain or fatigue. Being highly sensitive may also be linked to why so many HSPs are empathic and are more in tune with the needs of other's, including animals. They often are seen working in the helping professions or doing humanitarian work.
Many highly sensitive people tend to connect ideas and patterns that other's seem to miss. This may lead to being misunderstood by other's. It may also be why so many HSPs have been known to be innovative or create great works of art. HSPs often have the ability of finding new ways to solve problems.
Highly sensitive people often have a rich or overactive inner world. This may be related to why HSPs tend to over think or over analyze situations. This may be a reason why highly sensitive people tend to worry a lot and may easily jump to conclusions about things. Highly sensitive people tend to daydream and may appear inattentive or "spacey" to non HSPs. On the same note, having a rich imagination can also spark creativity.
This may lead to over stimulation or feeling uncomfortable in an environment or around certain people or circumstances. This can occur because many HSPs may easily sense the vibes of a room or person. HSPs also tend to be spiritual and may be spiritually sensitive. Energy sensitivity can be a very enjoyable experience if the HSP is in tune with positive energies.
With all the various stimuli emerging from various sources to the HSPs sensitive nervous system, it is no wonder HSPs are prone to overthinking and feeling. It is also no surprise that many HSPs suffer from sleep issues such as insomnia.
Many HSPs tend to attract toxic people such as narcissists or other unavailable people. This is definately where awareness and boundaries may come in hand. Although toxic people are often drawn to HSPs, a variety of people are also drawn to high sensitives in general. Many people are drawn to the caring and understanding nature of HSPs and turn to them for helping assistance, guidance, or for someone to confide in.
Highly sensitive people tend to br hypervigilent to other's behaviors/cues and can easily become uncomfortable or anxious when it feels as if we are being observed under a microscope. This can negatively effect an HSPs performance or functioning, which can make matters worse.
Hopefully this post has been helpful in some way or has helped you recognize that you or someone you know is a highly sensitive person. Identifying as an HSP is one of the first steps to changing ones life for the better! So... Are you a highly sensitive person? Feel free to let me know in the comments. Thankyou and I will post again soon!
With love,
Dahlia
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May 6, 2019
In my last article, I mentioned the importance of consistency when it comes to practicing new behaviors to cope with emotional overwhelm. (The topic of the post).
In this post, I would like to build upon the topic by sharing some ways I have learned to integrate new behaviors or habits in such a way that improves my persistence. As I have learned over time, persistence is key!
Because I have always struggled with persistence and sticking to rigid routines and mundane tasks, I have had to strive for persistence in a number of ways. I have had to learn about the importance of implementing routines (particularly for HSPs) into a daily schedule.
Implementing daily habits and routines for HSPs can be a necessary component to achieving a sense of security and balance in an overwhelming world.
Building routines can be a great way for HSPs to seek comfort and a gain a sense of knowing what to expect in a world where unexpected things happen. It can also help HSPs maintain greater focus on personal goals/dreams when there are multiple distractions arising from multiple sources. I have learned that it can also help avoid procrastination, which can lead to regret and even more feelings overwhelm.
While routines can be an excellent tool to simplify one's life, I know many highly sensitive people can find change overwhelming. I know from experience that trying to change too many things at once can be overwhelming and be an obstacle to reaching goals. That is one reason I believe starting with small goals and gradually building up to larger goals is more beneficial.
It is important to know that creating new habits can take time and patience. The time it takes to build new habits can depend on the person, the habit, commitment to the habit, and other lifestyle factors. Many people believe it takes approximately one month to create a habit. Others believe it takes more or less time to reach their goals.
It has taken me various amounts of time and effort to create some of my current habits/routines, but I would like to share with you some helpful ways I have gradually created new routines/habits into my schedule. So far, it has helped improve the quality of my life and is helping me reach my goals at a more comfortable pace!
Knowing exactly what you want to achieve and prioritize can help give you a sense of where to start and simplify your goals. Writing down your intentions/goals can help you get more clear about your goals. It may include both long term and short term goals.
This may include starting with one or two simple goals that are realistic and easy to achieve. These goals can be modified over time accordingly. The more the habits are practiced, the more likely it is to continue building upon the smaller goals. i.e. walking 10 minutes a day and gradually increasing the habit over time.
I find that tying new habits/routines to an existing routine is one of the best ways to not only get motivated, but can help with persistance. It is also a real time saver! For example, I started doing 10 jumping jacks after I brush my teeth each day. Over time I not only increased the amount of jumping jacks, but the amount I brush my teeth as well.
Everyone is different and may prefer different variations of this technique but the concept is the same. There are many sources online that further explain this concept. An example of this concept would be when I could barely get out of bed (let alone) take weekly classes, I chose to buy my favorite coffee drink (reward). The behavior or routine was getting out of bed and going to school. The cue was my alarm going off and the school day being on the schedule. Thankfully, I can attend class regularly without having to buy coffee every time but it did make a difference! Seeking out motivation and inspiration also helps facilitate the practice of a new habit. i.e. music, inspiring speeches etc...
As I mentioned in my previous article, being accountable can help increase the chance of completing a task or goal. One way to be accountable is joining a community of people with similar objectives or goals. This can be helpful with motivation and create connections with others. i.e. Joining a fitness community online or in person.
Having reminders such as visuals, auditory, written, or verbal reminders can be great ways to stay on track. i.e. leaving sticky notes around or using timers to complete tasks and stay on track.
This includes not comparing yourself to others, letting go of "black and white" thinking, and expecting instant results. It's about knowing you may not do it all perfectly but you also don't give up on achieving your goals. I also find that having patience with yourself and the process and accepting that it is not going to be perfect can help with persistency.
Tracking your progress can help you see how far you've come to reach your goal. Rewarding yourself for your progress can help reinforce the new routine or habit you want to obtain. Some people use habit trackers or draw chains to keep track of progress. I also find that writing or talking about the progress can be another useful way to keep track of goals.
Similar to a growing plant, the right conditions to grow a new habit can impact the growth process of habit development. It's easier to focus on a goal or task in a comfortable environment. Also, being in a new environment provides new cues to start a new habit. It is about what works for you!
Much of our behavior is truly based on habits. This includes both positive and negative habits. I believe most people have at least one habit they know is not benefiting them and wish they could quit repeating it. Getting rid of negative habits can be difficult because the mind connects it with some kind of reward. The process of changing the behavior may also include setbacks, time, and may not occur in a linear fashion. There are also triggers or cues in the mind's connections that can trigger the behavior or habit. An example of replacing the negative habit is knowing your triggers or cues for the negative habit and replacing it with a new behavior. i.e. Drinking flavored sparkling water when having the urge to drink soda or alcohol. In this way, new connections can be made and the new habit can be developed over time.
Although most HSPs can be easily overwhelmed when faced with change , incorporating a degree of new healthy routines or replacing negative habits with positive ones can be beneficial. The tips in this article are ten of the ways I have worked toward developing new habits. Hopefully it will help someone achieve their goals and dreams! Feel free to let me know in the comments what works for you!
With Love,
Dahlia
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• Embrace the art of kindness (i.e. Practicing random acts of kindness).
• Ground yourself and practice deep breathing to center yourself on a regular basis.
• Create a gratitude list including 5 things you are grateful for each day.
• Simplify the holidays (i.e. Decluttering items, writing shopping or grocery lists).
• Pamper yourself and rejuvenate.
• Embrace your creativity by making DIY gifts such as bath or baking products. There are many resources that include a variety of DIY gifts such as YouTube or Pinterest.
• Don’t be hard on yourself.
• Get yourself a gift.
• Embrace old traditions that you love or cultivate new traditions. Do which ever one works for you.
• Take time and space to recharge at holiday events (i.e. Bathroom breaks, taking a walk outside, etc)...
• Avoid over indulgence. This may include foods, compulsive spending, alcohol, and other toxic substances.
• Exercise regularly if possible.
• Seek out inspiration to help motivate you during the holidays.
• Create a budget if you plan on spending money during the holidays.
• To avoid sensory overload, it may be helpful to shop when it is less crowded. This may include mornings or before the holidays. Shopping online may also be a helpful option.
• Get cozy and find time to relax.
• Help create someone else’s holiday.
• Know your triggers and have a plan that includes healthy coping strategies.
• If you are low on cash, swapping trades with someone such as babysitting or cooking can be a great gift idea on the holidays.
• Attend support groups. There are a number of support groups such as 12 step meetings on the holidays that may provide support as well as holiday celebration.
With love,
Dahlia
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