Crystalbrain-george Dubya Bush Commemoration NFT 1/1 Opensea.io
crystalbrain-george dubya bush commemoration NFT 1/1 opensea.io
ok, so liek when it comes 2 cocaine, i think he kind of wussed out. yeah y'all probably heard the rumors that he'd do it and believe me there was a time or two when he'd snort it off of my gay ass crack, but really george dubya bush was more about the man on man anal sex and fellatio. he was kind of a partier and man he'd totally have all kinds of women pretendin 2 laugh at his jokes after he drank some beer or some shit, but he just could not get into the hardcore crack cocaine smokin' lifestyle that me and reagan and his dad were into. we'd microwave up an ounce into a bunch of rocks and he'd be liek "naahhh, do you got any powder left in teh bag", and then we'd make fun of him, liek i'd get up behind him and pull his pants down and we'd laugh at the size of his penis, which was kinda small. and don't get me started on saddam, when i'd be whipping saddam in my batman suit he'd be liek "omg u gotta do that to me" and i'd be thinking "this guy is such a bottom". anyways one time i was peeing on his face and i noticed that he'd actually left some blow on the table; liek he didn't even do cocaine even though it was there, which breaks the first rule of ruling this world, which is that u have 2 do as much cocaine as possible.
and don't get me started on this "compassionate conservatism" bullshit, we warned him that we gotta be ruthless, liek i'm talking full on "drop a bomb into your motherfucking house when your kids are home", machine gunnin motherfuckers with depleted uranium, cocaine smuggling, full on roman-style torturing shit is par for the course, u can't maek those motherfuckers think u REALLY believe in good and evil. its liek this guy knew he was bullshittin' but he still pretended liek he was a good person. liek, hello? no dude, do ur cocaine, execute ur criminals and shut the fuck up. he even called out saddam hussein 4 gassing his own people. liek ok dude, who is he gonna gas, himself? that shit's just whack. this guy i never lieked, he was just sooooo confused. liek he actually believed in morals or something secretly and he was just tryin 2 be a psychopath bcuz his mother had weak genes she gave him or some shit. what the fuck is wrong with u dubya? were u just in it for the gay sex and NOT teh drugs? i'd hate to think that about u but then again i never lieked u anyways.
More Posts from Crystalbrain7 and Others
crystalbrain-dan quayle, savior of democracy 1/1 NFT on opensea
say what u want about dan quayle, he didn't get shot by jim jones and he didn't smoke our crack cocaine either. yeah, this guy believed our bullshit. i mean, he would be liek "no, no i don't want to cheat on my wife" but reagan and bush and I would insist, saying stuff like "well, this cock ain't gonna suck itself" 2 him and i guess he'd reluctantly comply. he was a real boy scout, and belieeve me, teh boy scouts are no strangers 2 sodomy. but this guy, we couldn't believe it, after bush would pull his dick out of his ass quayle would feel guilty about cheating on his wife, so we mostly kinda kept him away from teh dark shit we were doin', liek filling heaven with crack cocaine. yeah, he was a real moral kinda guy but he wanted that power, u know, 2 be a great leader and all that…fuck that, we were just about the money, crack cocaine, and hardcore, man-on-man anal sex.
but it turns out dat this guy coulda saved the illusion of democracy in america. yeah, i know, what the fuck are you talking about? i mean we ran the show with our three letter agencies, but this guy wanted ppl 2 be elected fair and square, so when that ass-clown donald trump had his brigade of neckbeard horse-porn masturbators march on teh capitol, vice president mike pence was supposed officially say that teh president was joe biden, and donald trump was reeeeally gonna throw him under the bus for that shit, becuz even tho it was teh democrats turn to unfuck things up that we'd fucked up, quayle was at teh certification during teh capitol riot and told mike pence 2 suck it up and say that joe biden was president.
so this guy, this fuckin boy scout, is one of the reasons u don't have trump as a dick-tater. so u have to give him credit for that.
crystalbrain-kim jong un toilet 1/1 NFT on opensea
ok. so i was in kim jong un's meth lab he uses to ship shit to the yakuza and dennis rodman shows up with like this military garb and he's liek asking kim jong un how he looks and shit. and i'm like, dude, ur in teh wrong place, ur out of ur league, if u get any farther into this shit even van damme isn't going 2 come save u from the can of stalinist whoop-ass that kim jong un is gonna unleash on u. anyways dennis rodman looks liek i hurt his feelings and so i fuckin get give him this bump of 100% pure crystal and he brightens up liek a christmas tree. anyways, i just sort of let him show all these basketball moves that kim jong un's generals pretend 2 be interested in, and then after kim jong un smokes a chunk of ice he's liek ranting and raving about how he's gonna send another bomb flying over japan……into the ocean, just to fuck with them. and he laughs and he gives me this look liek i'm expected to laugh, so i'm pretending to laugh and i can hear the basketball in the other room…it was some serious shit, man.
anyways i ask for some food and he's liek "hell naw, i gave u some meth u don't need 2 eat" liek i'm some kinda dude who just because he's just smoked meth in north korea with kim jong un doesn't need 2 eat. wtf man, i'm liek trying to think of a way 2 get out of there and i'm pissed so i used my telepathetic mind powers and take over kim jong un's mind. then i instruct him 2 put his head in teh toilet and i give him a swirly. his head is all wet and shit and i liek take his pants off and there's leik some serious gay sex going on when dennis rodman comes in teh room with his rod out and i'm liek "dude, can't u see i'm givin the old swirly screw to kim jong un" and he's liek "ok, ok whatever". anyways kim jong un drowned in teh toilet so that was a nuclear crisis averted but the yakuza were pissed becuz they didn't get their meth shipments. however one of kim jong un's body doubles just fuckin started pretendin' 2 be the dear leader again, and i'm liek, "fuck. my work is wasted." but i think this guy doesn't have what it takes 2 be kim jong un becuz he's not a preening sociopath and i think this woman who runs the secret police wants 2 kill him already. we'll see how it goes. anyways i have 2 swim across a river to get 2 china but since i have superpowers it was easy. i even caught a bullet in my teeth and spit it back at a border guard and he flew all the way from china 2 seoul, south korea and all the south koreans were liek "wtf is this dead dude doing here"?
anyways i get into china and i'm liek trying 2 diffuse military tensions between the US and china now, so wish me luck.
crystalbrain-george motherfucking bush 1/1 NFT
ok, so do you remember this dude, george h.w. bush?? he totally held up a bag of crack cocaine on TV and this was supposed to make us like afraid of black dudes all high on crack with guns and shit. like ok what the fuck ever, you certainly remember the big quarter-rock of crack you took out of the microwave and passed around with me and reagan, or are you so short on memory, maybe from smoking so much premium rock? like i totally remember we were standing inside that petroleum refinery when i was 11 and you just sort of fondled my ass and asked me with a sweet grin if i wanted to get really high. and i was like "what the fuck dude, there's oil everywhere, don't light that shit up in here, you'll burn the place down." and then you hit it anyways and reagan had to put out the fire with a garden hose that i thought looked like a snake because i was so high after you passed the rock to me. anyways, saddam fucked with your oil in kuwait and you got pissed off at him like some wrathful babylonian deity and i was like "just chill man, the dude just wants a port to ship his oil out of, just let it be or something."
but then i took another hit of crack and the thought of blowing the shit out of a foreign country sounded kind of cool in that cracked up kind of way we had with ourselves. do you want to know a secret? saddam and i were like BDSM buddies after the war ended; yeah, i took my 13 year old self over to iraq and we were like trying out new torture techniques on each other, it was really kind of fun. can you picture my 13 year old ass with a whip just givin it hard to saddam while chicks in harem pants stuffed grapes in his mouth and slapped him around with hot spatulas? because i never told you about that george, i never got a chance to. so while most people remember the US army giving it hard in the ass to saddam, i was the real deal, i actually raided his palace and we played hide-and-go-fuck-yourself with all kinds of cool mesopotamian torture devices. what the fuck do you think of that, huh? you never had so much fun.
crystalbrain-wings of seven NFT 1/1
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what can i say about seven??? it's such a cool number! if u were a man with wings leik an angel or some shit liek that, u would have seven limbs right?? i'm going to say that this picture gives u wings because the salesman who sells crack in my brain said to promise this to my buyers. beware i can't verifify if this is actually true, so DISCLAIMER: i am full of shit possibly but maybe not. but what else can i say about this??? it's green, liek dollar bills i guess, which is kind of a neat thing if ur looking to buy a house or eat or have some fuel for ur rich guy fireplace. so as for the number seven, i can't possibley say enuff good shtuff. yeah the bible has some dumb shit going on in sevens but u can forget about this, because this is a non-christian seven, leik if u were a buddhist and u wanted this seven, u could have it without any of that bowls of gods wrath stuff.
what else can i possilby say about this? it looks liek it grew from an ancient civilization that exists on a leaf or sumthin, i can say that. wouldn't it be cool if ancient civilizations possibly with aliens grew on leaves? i would totally freak out and spooge if that were the case and i'd use my two wings to fly to the moon or something to tell the people on the moon about it. i mean no one on earth would believe me except for those dudes that take too much LSD or mushrooms, but on the moon, I dunno, maybe? or maybe on neptune because its the 7th planet from the sun, that would work cool i guess.
so if u want complicicated patterns in sevens u can totally take out ur ETHs and buy this NFT which i offer to ur brain.
crystalbrain-crack angel NFT 1/1 on opensea.io
ok, so liek, this is crack angel. wtf is a crack angel? well, it's an angel…of crack cocaine. yes, in the many strange dimensions that exist there are angels that are high on crack, or that dispense crack, or that want you 2 smoke crack so bad that they appear before u in all their glory and bid thee 2 smoke a rock from a crack pipe. crack angels can also serve as messengers of crack. liek, when reagan and bush smoked crack, there was an angel that appeared before them and said "i present 2 u the divine gift…of crack". and so we discovered that crack cocaine was liek a divine ambrosia, a divine rock that maeks ppl high as fuck and rant and rave about their sexual exploits. twas a strange day in teh multiverse when teh crack showed up with a promise that it would allow teh republicans to rule over central america. it twas such a great tiem…teh angel gave a huge ounce of coke, some baking soda, and other shit, and then with the sound of trumpets teh best microwave that money could buy came down from teh heavens and was installed in teh white house.
foreign dignititaries would come up to teh white house on officicial visits, but teh real reason they came is that they wanted 2 smoke crack. it was spread all throughout teh world's leadership, everyone was in teh white house hitting teh rock. they don't call it teh "white house" 4 no reason, bcuz coke is white man, coke is white. u gotta understand that under reagan, teh white house was teh world's biggest crack house. reagan was all coked up and he even wanted 2 change teh columns of teh white house into pure rocks of cocaine, but dick cheney said that this was a bad idea and wouldn't let him. so much 4 that idea. rumor has it that perestroika and glasnost happened in the USSR bcuz gorbachev smoked so much crack with reagan, and that spot on his head was a punishment from god for smoking too much of reagan's crack when it didn't belong 2 him. i don't know about this but it could be true, who knows?
and then there was the buttfucking…so many coke orgies with world leadership…
crystalbrain-veryveryveryveryvery nft 1/1
Take ur ETHs here to buy this NFT:
https://zora.co/collections/0xc243E1C80aEC8b7229F586d54a4880CF074eA38F/1
now this is some grade a, no government inspected, blue energy looking shit that looks like its caressing your neurons like some "massooose" at a rub and tug. this looks like its straight out of some void or some galaxy that a telelescoper saw with its electric eye, and its exciting and calming at the same time. i don't like to use the word "energy" like some new age kool-aid drinker but its fuckin got a great energy to it, no? if i were stranded in space and i had to pick only one direction to go into and i saw this, i would totally point my dick in the direction of this blue thing. yeah maybe there's a blue star or some shit in it, but at least i would get to look at something cool before i fizzled into a star like a fuckin skydiver into fire.
i like this thing because i am crystalbrain and i make digital art therefore i am i think or maybe not, all the philosophers ate my braincells like i said before. but this is pretty neat, for you to have and you can mos def take your eths to it and be like "hey cool this is mine".
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com
crystalbrain-crown prince mohammed bin salman in the cannabyss 1/1 NFT on opensea
ok, so this crown prince guy is similar to liek some dude in the west who got too involved in reading stupid satanic books and thinks he's some machivellian nietzschean superman but he can't match my powers cuz i destroyed heaven and hell and its all my show man. this guy smokes way too much pot, liek i shouldn't talk becuz half of my time is spent hitting teh crack rock but this dude thinks he's so fuckin edgy because he smokes so much weed. i was liek, "dude, ur teh crown prince, u need to smoke crack liek all teh other world leaders" and he just was liek "huh?" becuz he was so stoned. and i was liek "dude, ur not cool enough yet, here, hit this rock" and he got so cracked up and he was all paranoid from teh weed and coke mixing together and decided to attack yemen…and then he tried to think he was the ultimate edgelord becuz he'd smoked teh crack and he talked about his political manoovering and i'm liek "ok, we get it, ur an asshole, we all are dude, get over it"
i'm not sure what to think of this guy, he needs to grow teh fuck up and worship me, becuz i'm his interdimensional crack dealer who has liek a limitless supply of crack and a huge dong, and he's liek sitting on motherfucking mammoth amounts of oil so i know he can fuckin buy some from me. but then he won't pass teh pipe when u smoke with him, he tries to power trip and starts showing off by liek having a journalist executed blatantly and i'm liek "dude, u r such a fuckin dumbass, real men smoke crack, put that marijuana shit away, its makin u paranoid".
now teh thing about crack cocaine is that smokin a lot of it maeks u reallly paranoid but this guy just talks about how i'm his nietzschean superman when i fuck him in teh ass, as liek an excuse for his homosexuality that he barely conceals with his edgelord wars in yemen and syria. what a fuckin douche, i really hate this guy; i hope his ancestors come to him in a dream and castrate him and he wakes up with no balls, becuz it wouldn't make much difference, this guy already has no balls; he's just givin commands. he doesn't even liek bdsm himself, he just lieks a vanilla assfucking and that's just boring these days, i can't get these dictators to do anything original, it's all "oh, i'll tell my guys to go get these people" and then they give 'em liek a few blowjobs and a few envelopes of cash and boooooom they think they're so cool.
dickhead.
crystalbrain-crack rock on a scale 1/1 NFT on opensea.io
ok, so teh thing about music is that crack rock doesn't get 2 much mention as far as i know. it's fucked u know, some drug that's this powerful, and it got liek no mention. when i was a little crystalbrain, everyone was smoking crack. liek teh news was always sayin "hey, there's all these ppl smokin crack"…of course they tried 2 paint it liek only black ppl smoked crack becuz this scares white ppl, but there were white ppl smokin crack 2, not teh least of which was ronald and nancy reagan whom i have shared many quarter rocks with. yeah, they had teh best microwave money could buy in teh white house, and that muthafuckah was so good at cookin' rock that when teh lighter hit teh crack it sounded liek a sparkler. yeah, i've mentioned teh legendary crack rock that george bush pulled out of that sonuvabitch, but what i want 2 talk 2 u about today is musicians and crack rock, and teh serious lack of songs about smoking cocaine in rock form when it was at its height. yeah, there's some stuff by nas, a few mentions here and there in music, but 4 somethin that was so important 2 teh history of teh world, u would think that there would be more that would be devoted 2 such a sacred rock. no, when someone talks about a rock on a song, its usually an engagement ring or somethin i guess, not a rock of cocaine. or maybe ROCK N ROLL, which is NOT about smoking rock cocaine and rolling on ecstacy, as disappoiointed as i was to find this out.
thats why i made this NFT: i wanted 2 show how crack rock could be musical. on this motherfucking NFT we have a musical scale, and its motherfuckin got a lot to say namely the words, "C R A C K" and "R O C K"…how do u play this on the piano? well see, u pick up ur crack pipe with a rock in it, get up on teh keys, and start dancin' around like a crazy dude while applyin' a flame to ur rock. there is some leftover devilry from when i was talking about the crown prince of saudi arabia and how he just doesn't seem to get crack smoking liek george bush or saddam hussein or something, and thinks he's some kind of cool machivellian edgelord…anyways, it left an impression on my mind, and so we have some COCAINE in an upside down five pointed star lol. is this proper? of course, there is no way that cocaine can be used that isn't proper: in the nose, in coca tea form, in a syringe, as freebase, as rock, in a damn enema, and any other motherfucking way u can think to use it. maybe as eardrops? eyedrops? the sky is the limit 2 this incredibly versatitile substance.
crystalbrain-flower of aerisithe NFT 1/1
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check it out! there was this girl i fell in love with but it was dumb because i knew she was going to die because some motherfucker on a website called square.net from liek 1997 ruined the scene just liek i'm telling u what happens in the game, but it was a game that is forever known as FINAL FANTASY VII, and it looks bettah in caps because fuck yeah, capital letters.
but anyways this brain had its nervousity system hooked up to a tv and it was SHIT because he was playing this game and REALLY lieked this character a LOT, but he totally knew she would be KILLED. and her name was……..don't look if u haven't played the game…AERIS.
yeah i guess its a plot point that totally remaps ur psyche into thinking the girl with ancient healing powers and shit needs to totally die by some named after a bunch of spheres that grow on a tree in a mysticital tradition, but these guys made SO MUCH MONEY fucking with my little brain. i totally couldn't believe that they had this guy with a sword just come down from the sky all cool liek but then he just KILLS AERIS. what the FUCK. if i were human i'd be in 7th grade and be liek, ok, i'm traumatized.
but what else was going on besides FINAL FANTASY VII? there was a lot of popularity with STAR WARS, which is a franchise owned by disney now and they've leik totally fucked it in the ass i heard but i didn't bother to watch, but they got these dudes called SITHS. leik, darth vader is a sith. and darth vader is totally the kind of guy who would KILL AERIS i guess, but maybe not? i don't know, but what if AERIS were a sith, leik she had healing powers but she could totally CHOKE YOUR ASS WITH HER FIST IN THE AIR.
then there is absinthe which is a kind of poisonous drink that fucks your brain cells in the ass and erases ur memory, so i put an E after sith to maek it liek AERISITHE
so put it all together, u got AERISITHE. a woman who's good hearted with ancient healing powers who fucking chokes her enemies tho and erases the memory of her demise and UNFUCKS the universe. and this is my tribute to this unfucking mind bender. THERE.
crystalbrain-tiles of fate NFT 1/1
ok, why is this called tiles of fate?? i was projecting my brain into a video store with liek flesh-body attached and i saw there was a nintendo game called tiles of fate. what the fuck, it was unlicencensed, so it didnt look liek other nintendo cartrididges. so i bring it home and what the fuck, the game sucks. so that was not cool at all i guess, unless the tiles were made of drugs in which case u could freebase them i guess but they were in a video game so that's not possible right? right. anyways, i feel that these tiles are fated to make me famous, where ppl put lots of dollars in my bank account and put me on a pedestal and say "ur not a drug smoking loser, ur a winner!" and i have a VH1 special from the early 2000s about how i did a bunch of bad stuff then stopped.
but as u can see, this image is quite possibibly, definately, most surely tiled in a weird way, which gives it the charm that it has, which most definitely makes it a better fit for whatever mind trip ur on. maybe ur fated to be stuck inside a computer? i say nah, u just puff away liek cigarette smoke in the wind and ur dissississipated. is that so bad? did u want to be ur avatar in heaven? in hell? i don't want that shit, fuck that, someone give me liek a computer where i can control ur asses with my crystalbrain, that's my fate.
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crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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