I Love You, Minecraft. You Have Never Failed Me In My Moments Of Need. Desperate For An Escape But Not

Knowing a fic author through AO3 is like attending someone’s thesis presentation and politely clapping at the end, knowing a fic author through this hellsite is like going over to their house at 3AM to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar

Be like me

Load up fallout 4

Play until I look around and my room is completely dark

Realize I have not eaten today (don't do this part)

Go into kitchen, find a hunk of smoked brisket in the fridge. Cut off a chunk and go to town on it. No sauce. Nothing. Just meat.

Heavily push down the urge to growl at the dogs because it's my food.

Also find a container of chopped up cucumber. Eat a handful of it.

Feel satisfied.

Go back to fallout.

In case anyone is interested, I made a side blog for my Minecraft hearthome so I can just bark about it over there.

@dandelions-crossing

Feel free to follow! I'll hopefully be able to post more on it soon.

Idk if anyone cares, but I collect PEZ and LOOOOK

TINY PEZ SHELF!!!!!

Also size comparisons:

Shelf next to my PEZ girl pop figure :]

PEZ next to Steve (big dog PEZ)

I had a bad biting problem when I was younger. That and clawing at people. It wasn't that I didn't know it hurt. I assumed as much. I felt bad after I did it. But people were always touching me.

I hated it. I've always been pretty soft-spoken around people unless I know them well. Teachers have always joked that they can't hear me. Sometimes, I talk very little during the day, and my voice sounds clogged and scratchy by the end of it from not being used. I've always been short. When I was younger, I was kinda scrawny. My claws and teeth often felt like my only defense when people would come near me.

I was always so jumpy, and I had my reasons, but it often led to me panicking and hurting people when I really didn't mean to. They just happened to move a little too quickly when they were a little too close to me. I felt bad about it afterward. I'd feel the urge to whine and lick at my friends' wounds in apology. I couldn't do that, of course, and no injury was too severe, but it still hurt.

I eventually got used to not using my claws and keeping them tucked, especially after I got out of the hostile environment I was in as a kid. However, the urge never really went away. I still panic sometimes when my friends get close to me or move past me too quickly. I do my best not to make any move that could hurt them. They understand a lot of the time, or I hope that they do. They're always quick to tell me it's okay. I still feel bad sometimes, though, when we're play fighting, and suddenly I start snapping my teeth. It doesn't feel very fair to them.

I think I'm better than I used to be. Now I at least keep my claws cut, and when we play, I try to keep my bites from catching any skin, and if they do, I try my best to keep them soft. I try to warn them in the ways I can when I'm not feeling safe, though at times it's difficult as I tend to go very quiet when I'm very upset and can only communicate through body language. I really hope they know that I never intentionally swipe at them in a way that isn't playful or that when I bear my teeth, I'm only trying to ask them to back away.

I enjoyed this month. I lived by the rule of: my camera roll is just a bunch of work schedules and spreadsheets. How do I fix this?

Then I planned a bunch of fun shit to go do with friends. Now, my camera roll is full of smiling faces, pumpkins, and art.

Look at your camera roll and see what you can do or plan to make it more colorful and joyous to reflect upon.

I bite I bite I bite I bite I bite I-

here take some pictures that make me feel like i'm looking in a mirror:3c

((y, you should also show me pictures that make youu feel like you're looking into mirror))

If I just keep acting delusional and telling myself that shits going great then I've convinced myself it's going to get better. I'm kinda just yapping at the wind here. Freeballing to an insane degree.

AAAA Russ!!! :D

russel !!