YES

Those were 2.20 minutes well spent!

Notes to Thirteen Year Old Girls

When your best friend tells you all she had for breakfast Was a packet of Splenda and a Diet Coke, And she tells you that she’ll stop after she loses five more pounds, Do not believe her. Tell her mother. It does not matter how angry your friend gets. The pain of that will always be preferable to the pain Of seeing your best friend in four years Weighing as much as she does now Half-dead in the hospital.

When your father sneaks into your bed in the dead of the night, And he tells you that this is how fathers love their daughters, Do not believe him. Tell your English teacher. She will have read millions of stories of girls like you. There is a one in six chance that she will be a girl like you. There is a five in six chance that she will know what to say to you. There is a six in six chance that she will help you.

When your veins whisper to you in the moonlight And say that there are so many nightmares inside you That could be free If you would just open your arms, Do not believe them. Tell your school’s guidance counselor, No matter how scared you are Because whispers are liars, And opening your arms will only open the passage For more nightmares to climb in.

And when the therapists say that you are better, Totally better, And you don’t need to worry about the sadness again, Do not believe them. Always be cautious, because sadness has a way Of sneaking up on you When you’re not looking. Be careful. Be careful.

every tumblr user: despite the fact that no one views or cares about my blog, i will continue to spend the majority of my life updating it

This needs more recognition

Sometimes, when we are presenting, our bodies act completely irrationally. Sweating, stuttering, or just shutting down completely are all things I have encountered during public speaking; behaviour that is usually connected to extreme danger and fleeing behaviour. Completely unnecessary, as your teacher won’t kill you (hopefully), but trying to convince your body to be just as rational is a tough task. Turns out that this is exactly what we’re going to do. 

The basis for this (personal) advice all lies in my musical training, where posture is extremely important. Performance practice lessons have taught me one important thing: you can trick your body into thinking it’s okay, and with that, your audience. disclaimer: I have posted this information before in a slightly different way. Regard this as an updated version. Hopefully one with better spelling.

hoooooow???

Stand up and try to follow these instructions. I’m your only audience right now, so mistakes aren’t a problem. 

Start by relaxing your shoulders. Many people tense their shoulders when they’re anxious, which is a very natural reaction. However, tension in your shoulder automatically reaches through to your back and arms, and even your neck, tensing up your entire upper body. It’s confirming to your brain that yes! this is scary! Well, brain is wrong and we’re going to prove it wrong by relaxing our shoulders. Just let them hang down (make sure you don’t start leaning forward though, it should be just your shoulders). Doesn’t that immediately feel more relaxed?

Keep your feet a little bit apart, firm on the ground. This sends the message to your brain and audience that a single push will not have you fall over. Standing with your legs closely together simply isn’t as stable, and you want to radiate stability and confidence. Even if you’re feeling dizzy, this simple way of pretending will keep your feet on the ground. Literally. 

Chin up, back straight, eyes at the audience. I used to tend to look at the ground, or to lean forward. No, no no! You want to maintain an open posture, and to address the entire audience. When you do this, you’ll look more secure, and maybe you’ll even notice people will listen to you more closely. Make sure you address the entire room, and not just one spot. if you’re scared to look at faces, look at the back wall. But not just one spot, find some nice different wall spots to look at. 

What to do with your hands? I know I used to put my hands in my pocket, or fidget with something. Instead, try to talk with your hands more. When you’re using gestures, people will usually pay more attention to what you’re saying, and there’s even research that suggests it enhances understanding.

Do not hide. This is special advice to musicians, too. I used to hide behind my music stand because it was nice and safe. During public speaking it’s easy to hide behind some notes or to stand behind other people of your group, maybe. Don’t. Remember, fake the confident posture till you make it. 

When you’re finished, don’t stop pretending just yet. When people ask how it went, always say it went okay. This is so so so important! Because if you’d say “ugh it was awful!! So many things went wrong, I suck at presenting!” they’ll start thinking hmm, yeah, there were indeed some mistakes… Could have been better. Whereas if you just say it was okay or good, or even decent, they’ll hardly even question it and will most likely remember the positive aspects, as humans tend to do. 

I promise this works, at least to some extent. It may not help you get rid of anxiety right away, especially in really severe cases, but it can help you feel more at ease in front of a group. After that, you can start working on other things, such as volume, intonation, powerpoint use etc. 

Just take a few seconds before you start talking to breathe, focus on those muscles, and to follow this with an amazing presentation (and a good grade). 

You can always send me an ask for advice on public speaking! Even though I’m not a professional coach or whatever, I have overcome my speaking anxiety and maybe I can be of any help at all

Needless to say Darlings, messages like these are spam. I’ve been getting multiple lately, and whilst I have simply been blocking them, I realised that some of my followers with smaller follower counts, might need a heads up.

Do NOT follow the link and do NOT reply to them. 

Block them swiftly and let others know of the risks. 

Stay safe Darlings 🖤