Inaccurate Flashfam Quotes #5

who’s still on tumblr?

reblog if you plan on remaining active.

just wanna see if the number’s still huge! ☆

ᵂʰᵒ'ˢ ᵗᵒ ˢᵃʸ ᶦᵗ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰʳᵉᵉ

reblog if you’re asexual, support asexual people or really really want a crossbow for literally no reason.

Central City and Keystone: A bit of History

I think some people forget Gotham isn't the only one with absolute Psycopathic villains and crumbling economy. Let's take Central City, for instance.

Central City AND it's sister Keystone City is built on a faction of unionised workers, run off of Company plants, and people in the cities fear robots taking over their jobs enough to protest about it. Often the skies were depicted as smoke-filled and smoggy, except on Sunday's when the factories were down for a day. Not only that but most every coorperation is corrupt and everyone that's rich has made it by evil means. Take Rathaway Industries, or even STAR Labs as examples. Rathaway Industries is old money, but old enough that they got away with poor work conditions, cutting back minimum wage, racism, mysoginy, and homophobia. If what happened to their own son and Heir, Hartley Rathaway, isn't enough to prove that, I don't know what is. STAR Labs is new money and when has technological advancement ever really been clean, let's be honest.

Iron Heights was also one of the most corrupt facilities on City borders, accused of torturing, starving, and beating inmates. "The Pipeline" was created for the more villainous residents, even those who didn't deserve the treatment such as the rogues, and lesser known meta criminals. It was the basement of Iron Heights, full of dripping pipes of chemical water and bad air supply. These inmates were never taken out of their cells and usually weren't given enough clean drinking water, food, or sustainable living, leavig them to rot where they couldn't be seen. No wonder the Rogues were constantly breaking out, now that just makes the Flashes look like the bad guys. (They really are douche bags, them Flashers).

On to scary ass villains, you want to talk about the Joker of Central? I give you Dr Amar, AKA Murmur. He was Barry Allen's first testimony in court and first serial killer case. Amar would cut the tongues of his victims out of them while they were still alive and then silence them for good over his cray obsession for silence. He was trialed for 12 out of 50 murders he was suspected of and sent to Iron Heights for life. While in the prison, his mouth was sewn shut and tongue cut out as to not incriminate himself any further. Durring Wally West's prime as The Flash, he created a virus that spread through the water in the pipeline and infected everyone in Iron Heights with a deadly disease that choked it's victims to death by swelling thier tongues. The only cure was his abnoral blood, and Amar could not be infected.

Only intellectuals will understand

Inaccurate Batfam quotes #14

Batfam on a rollar coaster:

Dick: Screaming in joy

Jason: Screaming in fear

Tim: Bored af

Damian: Pouting but secretly enjoying it

Bruce: Sitting stiff, internally screaming

Alfred: Sipping tea somehow without spilling

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

OK i WANNA ADOPT THE BART PROSTHETIC LEG HEADCANON REAL QUICK

Y a l l, do you REALLY THINK that a gun shot wound of THIS CALIBER^ THAT C L O S E

Would have A N Y salvagable parts left of his knee??? LIke Speedsters heal fast but they don't grow back L I M B S. It shows the doctors doing surgrey and everything but in my mind it's like "WHAT KNEE, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT"

Do you KnOw how powerful that gun is?? I mean- you may not but IT'S PRETTY HECKIN STRONG

Listen. 100%, if Bart did get a prosthetic leg, like hell he's telling his team. This is Bart "I'm gonna bottle up all my emotions and then one day I'll die" Allen we're talking about. He's probably scared to tell anyone in case they think it'll cause problems and kick him off the team or something. Plus, he loves being pampered but he hates pity.

*Continues pressing every button* “WHAT ARE THESE ALIEN CONTROLS. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! EQUATIONS... CONSPIRACY!!!!”

panic really does turn you into a complete fucking moron huh

ASLKMGSD:KLM thank u guys for spreading jaybart, absolute goats

I am here with the crackships for the ship ask! JayBart and Jason/Connor Hawke.

Ooo, now you've got me thinking Anon, I like it!

JayBart - yeah, sure, I could ship it

1. What made you ship it?

☝️ This ask lol

2. What are your favourite things about the ship?

God the chaos. Absolutely off the charts ADHD energy, zero focus to hyperfocus and back in literal seconds. Bouncing back and forth through topics like nobody's business, like chains of 'oh that reminds me of--' from like what food to get to genius level mechanical engineering to theoretical space-time shizzle to oh shit we forgot the ice cream. I feel like their conversations would be incomprehensible to anyone else lmao

Might be interesting to contrast a Bart who wholly embraces his place in flashfam, who values the legacy and wants to uphold it, with a Jason that's estranged from batfam, who constantly questions his place with them, who *wants* to value the legacy but also fundamentally disagrees with it's principles

Also, they both have experience finding their place after time displacement, and they both often have their insight/opinions overlooked or ignored even when they're right!

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on this ship?

Gotta be Tim-less! No Tim's allowed!!

(sorry timmers)

Jason/Conner Hawke - Sure, why not Ship it

1. What made you ship it?

Again, this post, right this second xD

2. What are your favourite things about the ship?

Propagation of the Ace Jace agenda? Interesting moral debates about pacifism at all costs Vs killing for the greater good? Because you get all the Ollie Vs Bruce drama that you get with JayRoy, but also get Roy and Dick being absolutely insufferable about their little brothers dating?

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on this ship?

Nope ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

[ask me about a ship!]

DC groupchats as my favourite Homestuck quotes #2

Thad: Ever hear of Guy Fieri?

Bart: No? I don't think so.

Thad: How unfortunate for you.

Thad: He was an especially degenerate piece of filth.

Thad: He used his connections and guile to wriggle his way into fame, and other positions of power.

Thad: He somehow landed on the U.S. supreme court. Over the years, other Justices started mysteriously disappearing without means to replace them.

Thad: After helping rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, he weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Captain of Interstellar War.

Thad: I'm going to cut to the chase, cause really this doesn't need to be a full History lesson. Especially with your attention span.

Thad: He eventually came to be regarded as the third and final antichrist.

Thad: No human in history was responsible for as much pain and suffering.

Bart: Is that why REACH attacked our planet? Guy Fieri, High Captain of Interstellar War?

Thad: Yes.

Bart: ;-;

___________________________________________________________

-Kaldur joined the chat-

-Batman joined the chat-

Wally: Mom?

Dick: Mom?

Kaldur: Wait, If you're mom

Kaldur: and IM mom

Kaldur: Then who's flying this plane??

Wally: I change my mind, I want a new mom.

___________________________________________________________

Jay: Hello Tim

Tim: Hey Jay

Tim: How's the best brother in the world doing today?

Jay: Best brother in the world, hmm?

Tim: Of course, who else could I mean?

Jay: What is it you want from me?

Tim: You know what I want, Jay

Jay: Money? Affection? For me to write your essays?

Tim: its all I've ever wanted from you

Tim: *he leans in close to him and gently strokes his face*

Tim: *whispers* I want my fucking coffee back.

Any good dad bruce hcs?

everything I’ve ever written is good dad bruce and I don’t believe in anything else and I will die on the hill of good dad Bruce

bruce has skipped multiple justice league meetings because his kids asked him to stay home

he carries like jolly ranchers and starburst and candy like that in his utility belt because when dick was a kid be used to beg bruce to get him ice cream on every patrol and this was the best way bruce could find to get him to stop asking

When Jason was Robin, they made it a habit of going to every home game the Gotham Knights had whether it was Bruce and Jason eating hot dogs in the stands at the baseball stadium or Batman and Robin watching the field, hidden somewhere where they’ve got a perfect view

I think because of my dad I just associate dads with Star Trek now but like... Bruce watches Star Trek with his kids. Tim’s the only one who watched more than just the original series with him

Bruce had an exact replica made of his mother’s iconic pearl necklace (you know the one) and gave it to Cass for her birthday one year and she absolutely treasures it

Damian isn’t the most extroverted person and neither is Bruce so most of their interactions are just sitting in the room together (this also goes for Tim and Cass with these two) but a lot of times when Bruce is working from home Damian will sit in his office and draw and every so often if Bruce is on a zoom call for work he tends to mute his mic so he can just chat with Damian about whatever he’s drawing and all that

Also: Bruce and Damian tend to walk Ace and Titus together every morning. Sometimes Jason comes too to walk Ace instead of Bruce, but Bruce is always there