I Am Wasting Every Second I Have On Earth And I Don’t Know How To Make My Life Worth Anything When

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

i wish and i wish and i wish but it will never make things return to the way they used to be. i can wish all i want, but it will never be enough. i wish for the same thing every time: to be special to someone again. i know i shouldn’t tell you because now it won’t come true, but i think i was doomed anyway.

it's eating away at me Ngl

My most shameful secret and deepest desire is simply this: I want more than anything to be beautiful.

"omg you'll post 'i need him' on the most average men" "she's mid" most of us are average and it's good that we can find beauty and desire in average people

hey google what do you do when you were supposed to be dead by now but now shit is serious and you genuinely have to consider college and your future

thinking a lot about how nostalgia is a lying cunt

i'm so tired of having to survive and never being afforded the privilege of living. i'm tired of people feeling bad for me. i'm tired of taking up so much goddamn space. i'm tired of my body. i'm tired of the endless grief. i'm tired of the persistent emptiness. and i'm tired of being stuck in the past.

Top surgery recovery has involved an onslaught of emotions that I'm still figuring out how to express, but this grief was not something I anticipated would be part of it.

i love you btw