I Feel Like I Could Tag Every Single One Of These Memes To An Existing Canon Moment.

Suns out. flowers are blooming. birds are chirping. yaoi shit is happening to me. maybe it'll all be ok

this crosses my blog today of all days,,,, as i begin my annual autumn rewatch….

Rewatching jrwi the fated cause it's been a few years. I miss the absolute chaos that was the first video.

i love writing fanfic and making the characters do whackamole silly ass shit that is at least 20 tiers of separation from the plot if they’re even in the same universe. it’s like playing with barbie dolls because all the plots are deep and elaborate and involve struggles of oppression and violence and i solve every problem by making my two favorite ken dolls match each other’s freak narsty style.

btw you cannot tell me fated split up after the campaign i dont give a fuck what grizzlyplays says. it didnt actually end anyway. i do what i want

wake up gayboys you’re getting a fic tonight.

months ago i was shelving romance novels and came across the realization all of them can and should be remade gay. follow to see if i will enact this realization or if i will continue to write one (1) heterosexual couple having another 6 weddings.

two of you asked @fishcop and @octolingo-writes (hiiii guys ilysm) and i’m on a lot of robitussin rn so here goes:

art analysis (cold medication hallucinogen jrwi fated relationship chart edition)

- go read the individual types of relationships. all of them are insane. some of them are only used once. some of them (lake blue, 90% grey, rose, lemon, carmine) were meant to be used only once, and then their very existence forced me to examine all the various ways that emotion or relation could be considered applicable or canonical. some of them don’t make any sense. some of them are very straightforward. go read them and make one of your own.

-go make one of your own. all of these charts will be different depending on the creator and how specific they get and what individual interpretations they bring to the characters stories. go make one. do it. get crazy. be normal. do it. tag me if you want, i wanna see it. this fandom is so small i’ll see it regardless of what you do probably. make one.

-the mothers and wives are at the top, with the gods, because i am examining relationships, not plot; and in stories and lives everywhere very few things are more important than mothers and wives- especially when their relationships are restricted by the way their husbands and sons deify and restrict them. what is a woman if not a force of reckoning. what is a god if not a human’s hungry demands. what is a daughter if not a promise to be both. maybe that’s why there aren’t any daughters with mothers in the fated. maybe jared was scared of what they’d be.

-the gods relationships are absent unless they truly serve as humans when they interact. the storyteller is a plot point, a narrative device. ungaroh is an antagonist, an ending scene, a concept. for the purpose of this, they mean nothing. they are plot. i do not care about plot here. i care about plot in very few places. the interesting shit is the people- and they are easy (impossible) to understand, too. i included the gods on the paper for the purpose of excluding them in what matters.

-the narrative haunters and the salvation paths get represented differently (crosshatching and dotted or trailing paths) but the colors are similar because the ideals are similar. the same is true with the devotion of love (mahogany, the top line in the codex) and the feeling of bitterness (raspberry red- a little brighter, a little pinker, but hard to distinguish, especially in pictures).

-i stole the idea for crosshatching the doomed ones and the haunters (slate grey) from kurt vonnegut. “the destruction of dresden was represented by a vertical band of crosshatching, and all the lines that were still alive passed through it, came out the other side.” (go read slaughterhouse five.) so if you want to really get inside my brain on this one, you should try and look at how names and space are encircled or overwhelmed by the grey. usually it’s for people who died, because jared had a real knack for killing- literally or just conversationally cutting down- societally “othered” characters. sometimes it’s just used over a name to say “what would they have been if they hadn’t been treated like mothers and wives? like monsters? like statues? what would they have been if they’d been complex?” other times, it’s a barrier. other times, it’s just true: doomed from the start and barricaded in all relationships behind that doom- but still reaching through it in that strange, pale, ghostly way.

-similarly, a lot of the negative emotions get angular edges. a lot of the positive ones get curvy ones. there are several modifiers to this formula. one: straight lines should not indicate a straightforward or close relationship, but physical distance sometimes does. the exception to this is for the pc’s at center: we see all their relationships to each other up close and personal. straight lines mean simplicity and comprehension for them. often, that makes the relationships simpler. take mountain and hilda, who we never see interact: he deifies her, her mourns her, she is or at least was his reason to live, and in many ways that pedestal she’s kept on is simultaneously why she is a form of salvation and why she’ll never get to be a real, multifaceted character. the lines will never quite reach. but, like. mountain and sylnan? we see them go drinking, we see them argue, we see them in combat. they’re friends in the worst and most unlikely of places. it’s violent. it’s a little unhealthy. it’s honest. it’s devoted. sometimes it’s a little bit closeted. within that, all those visible complications, it’s simple: they are friends in the worst and most unlikely of places. that visibility of their relationship covers so much because speculation is close to impossible- we know so much.

modifier two: the misogyny lines are curvy- not because they’re gentle, but because they’re all-encompassing, encircling. taking it back to color for a second: the “dioxazine” (or however its spelled im on my phone i dont wanna scroll back up to the pic) purple reads as blackish here but its purple irl, especially in light, and i chose it for a) velrisa and oriana b) because it’s pretty and c) because as a color it overshadows so much else on the page. the lemon yellow i use for a relationship of destruction i chose because it hurts to look at. purple is just the opposite- it’s woven into everything. it’s easy on the eyes. it’s as natural in the picture as it was in the podcast. that should scare you. it dissolves in some places. it’s bold and bright in others. if i made this picture again i’d probably add more- the love and labor of women is wasted and missed and dismissed time and time again.

-the curly lines (see above, misogyny) are used for encompassing concepts- themes and feelings that entertwine and encircle. the fated love each other, as awkward and clumsyfooted as they are about it. i drew the vine-like circle around them (mahogany red, devoted love) as my second thing on this page, and for a while as i made it you could see the start of each path leading out from each character.

-that’s most of it. everything else is just kind of there if you look and i think the interpretation there is sorta fun so rehashing it here wastes time for most of us. sylnan and br’aad are brendan’s reasons to live, and whether you interpret the crosshatch for destruction as him towards them or them towards him it’s true. velrisa’s destruction and salvation are both in her being disowned, and she and ander are each other’s reason to keep going, so their entire relationship is framed in salvation (90% grey) because it’s a mutual thing. ugarth is encircled in 921 orange because in another world he’d have lived. oriana’s doomed narrative crosshatching is covered by these dioxazine spirals i made, because the misogyny is what really doomed her. there’s an old man yaoi (process red) line between ander and mountain, because it’s my relationship chart n i say so. there’s a question mark about whether or not velrisa’s family would have worked out with her in another life for the same reason that she has a relationship of deification, destruction, and salvation with them despite not one of them having names- there are so many unknowns we can’t even hope that in another world she would have stayed a happy little fisherman’s daughter. there’s a sexually charged hatred line between jacquot and sylnan/mountain for all that fag shit during the kidnapping in episode like 11.5. so it goes.

this is the most important thing:

song of solomon 6:3 -neon orange- was the first relationship line i drew. i traced over it again and again, and scrubbed away all the places where other lines overlapped it.

that is all.

i’d love to blame this on cold medicine and isolation later, but i did this with such earnestness i refuse to let myself feel ashamed of this when time passes and i look back. art is cringy. loving things is cringy. storytelling and interpretation is cringy. the energy of live performance is cringy. all of the above are also sustaining and crucial to the development of a soul. it sustains the human race to be cringy.

i wrote this whole thing in-app on my phone. it took an hour and ten minutes nonstop. i refuse to edit it or read it back. im done now.

btw if ur still here- song of solomon 6:3 is “i am my beloveds and my beloved is mine.”

hey is this anything

(fated relationship chart)

bro i didnt expect to find u on tumblr but omggg ur fics are so great!!! i remember first reading little green apples and it fr had me in a chokehold i HAD to read it all in one night!!! romance literally isnt generally my first pick for reading but the plot, worldbuilding, and imagery was just so vivid and rich, it kept my interest until i actually got invested into the romance :D also ngl that fic was prolly the first time ive ever seen polyamory depicted in such a sweet and thoughtful way

but gawddd finally reading the ending of OP&J was so satisfying and i rlly enjoyed seeing ur writing style develop throughout the years!!

anyways all this to say u have a real one of a kind writing skill, idk what ur gonna write next but i rlly hope u have fun with it :D

oh my god this is so nice?????? i’m so glad you enjoyed them both!!!!!! honestly the biggest draw for me when i was writing green apples was trying to figure out symbolism details, and balancing metaphors and stuff? (im such a sucker for symbolism and im so glad i got to write it all because it super helped me progress ngl)

i wrote green apples after i wrote op&j, and it was my first ever romance, so the whole plot/worldbuilding over romance thing makes sense- that’s how i approached it too!

i seem to have a thing for spree writing, because i tossed OP&J out in the span of a month (may 2021) but it took me ages to edit it (and consequently, my editing reflected the change in my style lol)

but all this rambling to say: i am so glad you liked it!!! i am so glad you enjoyed them both and i hope whatever comes next you enjoy that too!!! thank you so much for the ask!!! (and all the compliments :)))))) )

the dagger holster stays on during sex

i got two genres of comment responses on my fics it seems

“thabk u smm!!!! imm so glad u liked! ty-ty 4 the kudos!”

and

“anger is more comfortable than fear, in that way, because it washes away all insecurity; becoming a boiling, red-hot tide. ‘i am right and you are wrong’ is comforting to say, especially for children, who rarely get to be right in a world of grown-ups… that i’m-right-you’re-wrong sentiment quickly becomes: “i am better and you are lesser. i am normal and you are the freak. i deserve more, and you deserve less.” and the kids act that way with impunity, because their guardians never provide correction to that instinct and behavior path… because they’re just as scared.”