This Is Just A Boy Named Sue By Johnny Cash

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

Sometimes experimentation is beautiful but please do not try to stick a knife down your throat all the way to the hilt just to see if you can. 0/10 do NOT recommend

@mydogtypedthis I hope you explode and that the last thing you see as you are dragged to hell is the face of the chill guy and his soulless, evil eyes

Words cannot express how much I despise the chill guy meme. I have no reasoning for it, it has done me no wrong, but every bone in my body wishes to pluck out that little gopher-thing's teeth and stab his eyeballs with them. I want him dead. I am not a chill guy.

My friend drew me as a goober- this is what real friendship is-

Reblog if you want anon messages of what you would be the patron saint of

I'm bored, so I'm giving you a whole essay here:

So you're having your everyday life. You go to bed one evening, everything is normal. (Like so normal)(Bear with me im setting the scene). You wake up the next morning, tho and woah, there's a fricken genie glass thingy at the side of your bed! Isn't that insane dude! You open it, and Mr. genie guy comes out, except he's got different rules this time.

Your first wish must be for some sort of ability (supernatural or normal) for yourself. What do you wish for?

For the second wish, you must wish for 1 person/place/thing to be yours. What person/place/thing do you wish for?

And for your final wish, idk, just whatever you really want to wish for (with the normal rules: no wishing for more wishes, no necromancy, and no bewitching anyone to fall in love w/ you).

Ooooo- so fun, great scene setting. Let's see...

Wish number one: I want the ability to manipulate probability. "Oh, what are the odds I get my dream job? Let's make that 100%. Odds I get HRT immediately? 100%, it's gonna happen." If that's too overpowered, I'll go with the basic tranny answer of shapeshifting

Wish number two: Give me all of Elongated Muskrat's money. All of it. I could actually use it for a SHIT TON of good and still have plenty left over to support myself and the people I love for life. Let me do everything that coward won't-

Wish number three: I want a bag that fills with whatever snack I want when I am hungry. I am a very simple man and also the local garbage disposal (if you don't eat it, I will). I have a fast metabolism, so I feel really hungry a lot of the time. I would kill for infinite snacks.

This was actually really fun- good questions, all of them.

Bad idea of the day: Exploring a Minecraft ancient city while in real life, it's the middle of the night and pouring rain with a tornado warning.

In other unrelated news, I will not be sleeping for a while

If you could insert a single bad word/replace any word with a bad word anywhere into Epic, where would you do it and what word would it be? One of my personal favorite options is:

"You are playing with thunder

For a man full of shit"

Fandoms are fucking wild because what do you mean I just stumbled upon a smutty as hell "shooting the United Healthcare CEO AU" fic??? That is a thing that just exists on the internet and was seen by my two eyes???

If you sat under someone's bed and played Roxanne by The Police so faintly they thought they were imagining it, how long do you think it would take them to go insane? Asking for a friend