Alien: Why Is Rehaan Vibrating His Legs So Much? It's Been An Hour And He's Still Doing It. Isn't He

BROOOOOOO

I have no idea what's happening

BUT BROOOO

Me and who

Me and me

Humans Are Space Orcs: Vestigial Systems Edition

What if aliens don’t have the concept of vestigial systems? And so while they are a much, much older species and their bodies don’t really have cure-alls, when the problem solving thing kicks in, it pretty much just works.

Take the most obvious example for humans: appendixes. The prevailing theory is that it used to be important (like for digestion or immunity), but now we know it’s largely useless. So maybe a human has an appendicitis, they get taken to the med bay, the other humans are a little worried, but not overly so. Alien gets told about it and they flip.

“Human Barbara’s organ has exploded?!”

“Okay, not exactly exploded, but it got all swollen and filled with goo. So they’re taking it out.”

“Human Barbara is having an internal organ permanently removed?!”

“Dude, chill. This happens all the time, no biggie.”

“You are telling me that your internal organs will frequently, and without warning, cease to function entirely?”

“Well, it’s not really ‘cease to function’ per se, ‘cause the appendix doesn’t really do anything. I mean, some scientists think it might? Or like, it did a while ago? But not anymore. We don’t really know anything about it, it’s kinda there.”

“…you have an entire organ inside of your abdomen that simply has no purpose except to malfunction?”

“I mean, yeah, pretty much. It’s called appendicitis.”

“This specific condition happens on such a regular basis that you have a name for it?!”

And maybe even weirder, it’s not just physical stuff. Our social-emotional makeup flaws are responsible for a huge part of humanity’s problems. Our pack-bonding instincts manifest in tons of negative ways, like our nasty habit of “us verses them” conflicts. The fact that we define entire cultures and lifetimes by our dissimilarities is whack.

“Human Bob, I have just heard mention of something called ‘The Crusades.’ What is that?”

“Oh, they were these huge wars that happened during the Middle Ages. Basically it was Muslims and Christians fighting each other for, like, two hundred years over some land that was considered holy.”

“Two groups of humans systematically slaughtered each other for roughly eight generations? Why did they not just share the land?”

“They didn’t want to.”

“I do not understand. Why did they not wish to share?”

“It’s sort of a territorial thing. We don’t like other people near what’s ours. It’s how we survived when we were a developing species, by making groups and fighting off outsiders. That’s why a crew has to do a test run before they get sent out to space. When we first started sending out explorers, we didn’t do that, so lots of missions went to shit because crew members couldn’t handle living together and, in a couple of cases, ended up murdering each other. Pretty bad for PR back then.”

“Humans will become violent if someone they are not pack-bonded with comes near them?”

“Not even near. A lot of colonisation and wars happened because one group didn’t agree with another, so they went out and killed them all.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. Pack-bonding is super super important to us. Human infants will actually die if they don’t get enough physical affection.”

“What?!”

“Uh-huh. Remember when Brian and Steve weren’t talking to each other for a week because Brian’s favourite sports team lost to Steve’s? We don’t even have to belong to a group to get crazy about it.”

“…I must go update the Human Interactions Manual.”

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It will soon be 25 hours in a day because the moon is slowly getting farther and farther away from earth

Zorugg cares for all of you, regardless of gender, sexuality, ethnicity or color.

You are all her children

Humans are space orcs (2)

It seems like you guys liked the space orcs post-

Alien *over coms*: Your ship is pinpointed, and you are targeted, you can stop or we may have to use excessive force to dock.

Humans *over coms*: We will file a police report! This will not go unknown. If you dock without permission, we might put this on your permanent record

Aliens : All it takes is one shot and your entire system goes now, red-tape is of no concern!

Humans :  Who told you that?- It doesn’t matter. According to A-B5.6 we will be notifying you of our departure

Aliens : Humans, silly ones. So worried about red-tape.

Aliens: *Shoot a missile to the thrusters*

Humans: *Ship slows down to a halt*

*The Alien’s ship docks on the human ship*

*In the Alien ship*

Alien Commander: Why isn’t the dock opening? I demand answers!

A1: Well- I think I know the issue-

Alien Commander: Well, what are you waiting for! Lead me to the issue

A2: *Leads him to a wide glass panel overlooking the human ship*

The shields of the flicker from light blue to a dark blue with white text overlaid.

System.S0x073SXE has crashed

Overriding SYSTEM account

Device DIV0348.637.dock(1.94) has stopped

Device DIV0845378.637.Athrust(6.27) has stopped

Device DIV03458.637.Bthrust(7.24) has stopped

Restarting System. S0x073SXE.bUP.Athurst

Restarting System. S0x073SXE.bUP.Bthrust

The dock, thruster A and B fall away from the humans ship

2 new thrusters the show up were thruster A and B show up with yellow paint and green text saying “Backup Thruster”

Alien *over coms*: What happened?

Humans *over coms*: Have you every heard of modularity, the power to throw away part as we see fit! We can remove up 95% of our ship and it will still work just fine! However, one hit to any part of yours you render you unable to perform!

Aliens : *…* Why haven’t we thought about this before?

Alien: Human, has your species experimented with DNA and genetics?

Human: only recently, mostly trying to make hardier crops and cuter pets.

Alien: Oh, that would explain this? (Lifts up a ferret)

Human: Where did you get that.

Alien: It does not matter, but I am guessing your species made this?

Human: No, they are completely natural. They come from Europe and Africa.

Alien: *speaking to the ferret* Why would you need such a flexible body?

Human: Its their diet, they dig underground to find their prey, so they need their long, noodily body to fit.

Alien: Strange. I am guessing your dogs are the same, as in their diet causes changes.

Human: Nope, All the different species of dogs were caused by us.

Alien: Of course they were.

Interesting facts about astrology🌙🎸♥️🌞🧸

🪐Saturn is also the planet of time and aging, among others. So where you have saturn in your house means that you will spend more time to achieve success. But it is also related to the calendar year. Saturn makes us grow up in the right direction and leads us to the point of knowing some things. Saturn rules not only the father but also the grandfather and people who are older. Let's say when you're watching a cartoon and the main character on his way to his destination meets an old woman who gives him a message (this is saturn).

🌞Sun represents who we are and why we are here. It represents our meaning in life and the fact that we were born with a mission. The sun also represents our heroism and heroic journey through life. The Sun is our conscious self and the essence of who we are as mockers.

♥️Venus represents our way of seduction, as it wants to attract the attention and devotion of the object of its desire. So the sign we have in Venus represents how we want to impress someone or seduce them.

🎸Jupiter represents a positive attitude and belief in unlimited opportunities and resistance to any attempt to limit or control. It is related to our sense of meaning, religious and philosophical beliefs and attitudes. Together with the Moon and Neptune, it is often associated with addictions and weight problems. So Jupiter in the 1st house could mean that you can't gain weight because of it.

🧑🏻‍🎤Uranus' qualities are unconventionality, genius, awareness, eccentricity, idealism, interest in community. The house in which we have uranus represents the area in which we can improve the world and change society.

👩🏽‍🎨👨🏽‍🔬The difference between a person with a lot of Aquarius in the planets and a person with an 11th house placements is that they perceive the world and express themselves differently. Person with planets in aquarius can be for many people, strange, unusual and rebellious perceives things, resists new things, trends and wants to do something in its own way. While a person who has an 11th house placements wants to make a change and thus influence the world. You want to leave your mark and show how we as a society can act differently and progress in technology and the world.

🧜🏼‍♀️With Neptune it's basically a longing to escape from the cold, cruel reality of the world and. So with Neptune we relax by reading a good book, movie or something that distracts us from everyday life. But Neptune can get lost in this relaxation and returning to the real world. Then it can happen that we drink more wine than we intended, or that we stay up too long and then don't hear the alarm clock in the morning.

🧞‍♀️Neptune also gives us fantasies such as the desire to have someone take care of us, to never have to grow up or separate from our parents. Becoming independent and facing your responsibilities. So, for example, someone with Neptune in the 5th house doesn't want to part with things from childhood. And always comes back to them.

🌊Pluto and its roles: grandmother, magician, detective, researcher, psychologist, spy, miner, treasure hunter. In that house where you have a pluto, it shows your relationship with your grandmother.

🪂Aries is the first sign of zodiac signs. They are like new souls entering the world. Many times they tend to bump into things or suffer cuts and bruises that they usually don't even notice. But since Aries rules the head, they often have headaches. It is a sign that never returns to the past but looks forward. That's why someone with an aries moon is never emotionally burdened with the past or emotions from the past.

🌳Taurus is one of the most reliable signs in the zodiac. Taurus will always come on time and stick to what he says. And they know how to enjoy luxury and life. And many times they tend not to want to change anything (from people to furniture) and many times they are also inclined to old school things.

🧸Cancer represents our home, family, environment and where we come from. It shows how we look at them and perceive the family. It describes the history of our families and relatives before our birth. For cancer, it is always important how their tree is composed. You have the most memory in the area where you have the moon and it is there that you have the hardest time breaking away from the past.

🦁Leo rules the heart, the spine, and the posture of the upper part of the body with which it shows its pride. Leos tend to be confident and extroverted, although some can be quite shy and dislike exposure. They like big houses, expensive cars and designer clothes.

-Rebekah🧸♥️🧚🏼‍♀️