Bro How Can Ur Content Be Seen By People

One thing about the 'humans are space orcs' concept that I will NEVER get tired of is the whole 'humans will pack bond with anything.'

Because, like, we really will pack bond with ANYTHING.

Anything that might be an inconvenience to us we just pack bond with to make it less annoying, like,

Alien: Human-Allison, I can't help but notice that you have a hole in the wall of your quarters. Would you like to have it filled?

Human-Allison: Nah, I'm going to leave it.

Alien: But why? It must be wierd to have a hole to Human-Erica's room, is it not? Does she also consent to this very obvious breach of privacy??

Human-Allison: Yeah, she's fine with it.

Alien: Huh? Why? There is no reason to have it there. It must be uncomfortable, as far as I know that you humans value privacy. It also doesn't take much to fill it.

Human-Allison: Nah, we wanna keep it because it was from this one time I invited Isabella to play a game night in my room, but things devolved very quickly and it ended up with her bashing her head through the wall. It was an... interesting day, but we all agreed that it was fun and want to keep it for the memories.

Alien: I... what???

humans are space orcs

Like if standardization wasn't common in alien life, we just showed them how easy is it, if they just standardized things. It would be like-

Little human: We have to upgarde parts for spaceship thrusters

Alien: Ohh, little one, because your kind has only had FTL travel for 3 cycles you mustn't understand. A thruster from some other human ship wouldn't just PLUG into your space ship. You would have to find the exact same ship but with better thrusters, but oh, each thruster is especially made for the ship.

Little human: Each thruster isn't especially made for ships. we just have to find a thruster with a E20-1 plug because all human spaceships have a E20-1 port.

Alien: What?

Little human: Its really simple, ANY E20-1 plug fits into ANY E20-1 port

Alien: I know that ANY E20-1 plug fits into ANY E20-1 port, but ALL ships use the E20-1 port

Little human: Yeah

Alien: I-i-i still don't understand?

Little human: its standardized.

reblog for sample size etc etc

the process of transitioning has a lot of ups and downs. you will experience massive highs of euphoria and crushing lows of dysphoria as you change things about yourself. you will hate and love your new hair many times, you will be scared and excited by what hormone replacement therapy brings, you will be worried about how much you've changed yourself and if you can recognize the new person you see as yourself. you may struggle to adapt, you may accept everything gracefully as it comes, you may do a little of both. either way, it's okay to be affected by transition. it's okay to have highs and lows. it's okay to both love and hate what you're experiencing. it's okay to struggle, if you do. transition is hard, but it's worth it for those who want it.

Alien crewmate: Everyone thinks you guys are so cute, but they forget you're venomous. Humans are something else.

Human: Fun fact we aren't technically venomous, we just have so much bacteria in our mouths that most human bites get infected.

Alien crewmate, horrified: I preferred when I thought you were venomous.

Ok so we all know about humans being deathworlds/space orcs as well as some people saying humans are space dogs or humans are space cats or humans are space fae.

My I present to to you...

Humans Are Space Badgers

I have no idea if this has bin done but humans are a lot like badgers and even though badgers don't pack bond they are tough little shits that no one real wants to mess with as, if you try and take one down you now damn well they are not leaving this world with out biting and scratching the hell out of you as much they can, and doing enough damage that it will have a lasting mark on you. You may live to tell the tail but you will never attack one again, and if you don't live well let's just say anybody who witnessed it will say they tore you limb from limb and sprawled your insides, out onto the ground. Also we can look very cute and fluffy.

I wanna try writing situations about humans are wierd, humans are space orcs and ect

Got any ideas? Because everything i come up with is already written down 🧍

Alien: why is Rehaan vibrating his legs so much? It's been an hour and he's still doing it. Isn't he exhausted?

Alex: nah, he has ADD, but I'm not sure why he moves a lot. He has told me it's fun and it makes him concentrate better, so why not let him

Alien: add? Add WHAT? CHEESE?

Thinking about a ship getting an absolute bully for their first human. The kind of human that knows most aliens are afraid of ‘death worlders’, the kind of human that knows where the line is and how far they can go before they get into trouble, and who they can intimidate to let them cross the line as they want.

Part of the crew is like “I knew humans were just as bad as I thought.” Human doesn’t care. Human represents the worst of humanity, but they’re necessary for the ship - they make themselves necessary, and are not afraid to put the rest of the crew at risk if their authority seems challenged.

And then, they get a new human, who is smaller than the first. The first human tries their usual tactics - and the second human breaks their nose. If they were on the ship itself, there’d be consequences, and the first human knows it. But the second human is not afraid to be labeled a troublemaker, and cause trouble for the first, they do. A fierce competition blooms between them, as the second human clearly attempts to muscle in on the first’s territory, despite everyone warning them not to. And as this goes on, the second human befriends the rest of the crew. They’re different than the first. They are kind, they are smart, they are loyal.

They are a death worlder.

During a shipment of endangered animals from another planet, the first human is mauled by the adults. The second human is injured trying to protect them, but to no avail, the first human is killed. Analysis revealed the first human was sprayed with a kind of pheromone that agitates the species - but there was no reason for the pheromone to have been released by the species. Something else is going on, and the captain know it. The second human, despite the clear trauma, accepts the interview.

After the interview ends, the captain turns off the official recording.

“Off the record,” they ask, “what really happened?”

The human swallows, closes their dark eyes.

“They were trying to steal the eggs,” they said. “I saw them - I heard them on a black line with a darkspace distributer.”

“Why didn’t you report it?”

“Not enough time. And I… I had a feeling they’d done it before.”

The captain waits. The human’s closed eyes water.

“You sprayed the pheromone on them,” the captain says.

The human nodded. “They were so busy with the eggs, they didn’t even notice.”

“But,” the captain says, “You tried to save them after.”

The human’s shoulders shake. “I did.” They sob. “I did. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but I did it. I did it for all of you. I did it for us.”

The human cries.

No charges are filed. The crew would mutiny if their friend were charged with anything, though the captain finds some way to ease the moral strain on both their hands and the second human’s. Another human is brought on board to help with the strain of the first human’s loss. Thy are bright-eyed, clever fingered, sharp-witted, soft-hearted. It takes time to for the wounds caused by the first human - described as a bully by the humans, also ‘a real asshole!’ by the newest recruit - but now that they are gone, they can all recover, and move on.

The moral here? Humans are not always good, but they should never, ever be underestimated - when they claim a pack, they will protect it even from their own kind.

Humans are weird

Hey there demons, it's ya Boi. I have no thoughts, head empty but that brings me to my point. How much of social media is just mindless thoughts? Like really why do we do this, do aliens do this? Just randomly talk about anything to complete strangers. Would they find it weird? Find out thoughts weird? Just imagine the senario, trying to show an alien your phone and then bringing up the topic of social media.

Alien: So you just say things and people listen?

Human: well yes but only certain things, like funny shit or fun ideas. No one likes to listen to the stupid things we read

Alien: then why read it if it's bad? Why not ignore it or not look?

Human: well some people just have the need to argue and we like to watch, it's funny to laugh at stupid people. But we mainly just look at cat videos, here look at this one-

Alien: You watch those willingly?! They are royalty where I am from!! You should pay money for this!!!

Human in a quiet voice:….. I fucking knew it.