Coothin Burst Into Human Sara's Quarters, Smacking The Light Tapper With Xis Upper Left Arm As Soon As

If this post gets 100 notes i will tell my crush i love her

“Humans are such a pathetic little thing”, the Ambassador of Elriene said, on her all-mighty, echoing voice. “Always trying to show off, to look better than the pathetic, soft, flesh creatures they truly are”.

The flames of the broken ship were getting bigger, hungrier, consuming whatever they could. A precise, surprise attack to get more treasures.

The Ambassador played with the crystal ball on her hand, watching as it glew with sunlight. All the aliens below her lowered their eyes, terrified of her wrath. For the Ambassador, this was all but another day of work, conquering and taking everything the Land of Elriene deemed below them. And she was their terrifying, beautiful beast.

“Humans are a plague”, she said, sounding like a whisper. “A crooked, evil plague. They take what they want, they leave sickness behind. They do not care about any of you, for their greed is far stronger than any sense of love. You are all lucky for having me there; otherwise, your little humans would for sure destroyed you in order to survive this deathworld you crashed in”.

Then, like she wanted to make her cruel joke come to a conclusion, she turned to one of her guards. He immediately grabbed one of the three humans that were lying on the ground, tossing him to the Ambassador’s front.

The earthling whispered curses as he raised his head, staring into her cold eyes.

“Pathetic thing”, she said. “What are you going to tell me? That deep down, you humans are all good? Or, mayhaps, that even if you are indeed cruel, you still chose to be good, to be better?”

The man blinked. On the other side, the crew watched with horror, not being able to do anything else but pray that a miracle would happen.

He took a deep breath, then. The Ambassador always made sure to show everyone in the entire Universe of the last words her enemies would say, making sure that even the brighest cry of hope sounded more like a pathetic whimper of a fool.

“No”, the human whispered.

“Oh?”

The Ambassador was smiling. Of course she was; she had won. No human survives the anger of the Land of Elriene.

“I was going to say that you’re a moron and that I’m going to hunt your ass down to the ends of the Universe.

But all humans made sure to make a spetacle.

“You… What?”

She was more annoyed than surprised. That whole ideal was like a vermin being annoying to the good, righteous gardener, who always worked hard to keep the place clean and beautiful.

“Can’t understand something simple like being called a moron?”, he added, smiling menacingly. “Damn, your guards must pity you so much, they can’t even say something as obvious as that. Sorry for them”.

“What an interesting insect we have here…”.

“I’m a mammalian, actually. Weren’t you a human hunter? You kind of need to know this sort of stuff”.

“Careful, Brian!”, a second human, Dominique, rose their voice, dark eyes gleeming with delight. “I don’t think she can understand that. Her planet doesn’t have many mammalians”.

“Oh, sorry for that, girl”, Brian procceeded, apologising with a head nod. “Human education is kinda different. I thought that, since you hated humans so much, you would know more”.

The Ambassador looked at the two… Gremlins. Yes, the precise word! Bad, nasty, pesky gremlins! She raised her head, too disgusted to look at them in the face: “I know what a ‘mammalian’ is. I simply did not comprehend just how stupid you could be. And here I was, actually being careful with my plans! Vermin like you-”

“Mammalian”, the third and final human, Antônia, corrected her.

“Vermin like you”, the Ambassador insisted. “Should die. Just like the way your planet died”.

“We brought Earth back, though?”, Brian asked. “That’s basic human history”.

“What if she can’t read human books?”, Antônia suggested. “Poor girl! You should get yourself a translator. They are really cool. I use one!”

“ENOUGH!”

The trio shut themselves, looking at the all-mighty, foolish Ambassador. With a skin glowing in pure blue, she floated to be above them all, tossing the crystal ball to one of her guards.

“Off with them”, was her order. “Get them out of my sights. Show these foolish ones our exterminating job”.

“Oh!”

Everyone turned to look at Dominique, who, tied up, jumped and rolled around until they could be in front of their fellow humans, pathetically trying to clap their hands.

“Me first!”, they asked.

The Ambassador rolled her eyes. “Shoot her in the arms”.

Brian could see the rest of their crew looking at them in horror. They whispered and begged for some kind of mercy, but the cruel Ambassador simply did not care. With the brevity of a blink, a shot was fired.

The aliens screamed. The humans did not.

“Uh…”, one of the guards whispered. “Ma’am… Isn’t human blood supposed to be a darker red?”

“Of course! W…”

Dominique shrugged, looking at their (prosthetic) arm splattered in the ground, a neon shade of red coming out of it, becoming strange, unusual tones as it spread around.

“Ma’am, Ambassador, girl, friend”, the human shouted. “Didn’t you know there is more than one type of human?”

“What?!”

“Yeah!”, Brian agreed. “There’s thirty-seven types of humans around”.

“What?!”

“Dominique here is kind of undead. They will rise from the grave and eat your flesh if you keep messing around with our crew!”, Antônia added, smiling. “Approach me, and I’ll tear your arms out with my silver teeth!”

She opened her mouth, showing shiny pieces of metal decorating her yellowed teeth, with a single string connecting them all. The Ambassador, never hearing of a basic thing such as braces, made a horrified, disgusting noise.

All the aliens from the Land of Elriene were allergic to silver.

“I-is that true, ma’am?!”, one of the guards asked their leader, horrified.

“N-no!”, but that did not sound like someone was sure of herself.

“AND I TELL YOU MORE!”, Brian shouted, awkwardly getting up. “Mess with me, and my ancestors are going to hunt you down even after death!”

“P-prove it, then”, the Ambassador said.

The man immediately made the most horrifying, awful, ear-shattering noise he possibly could, shaking his head around to immitate both an elrienean being mauled by a predator, and a person being possessed in an horror flick.

Brian jumped around, screaming and shaking himself, before throwing himself to the ground.

Like the vermin the Ambassador believed all humans to be, he crawled his way towards her, laughing.

“fooOooOoOOOLISH c RE aTURE”, he whispered. “dARES TO HURT OUR COMPANIONS?”

Dominique and Antônia blinked at their friend when the Ambassador kicked him in the face with a scream.

“Get out of me!”, she ordered, watching as Brian fell to the ground and…

Laughed.

“IF WE ARE VERMIN, WE ARE PARASITE. IF WE ARE PARASITE, YOU ARE OUR HOST”, he continued, ignoring Dominique awkwardly trying to hold him close. “AND WE ARE HUNGRY”.

The Ambassador screamed with horror, along all the guards. Antônia got up, showing off her (fake) silver teeth, and they all immediately started to run.

Dominique threw their prosthetic arm to the invader’s direction, warranting a scream. The Ambassador dropped the crystal ball, cursing as she ran away from the “possessed, daemonic parasite”, completely ignoring Brian coughing as he tried to recover from his own acting.

When the invaders escaped in their ship, everyone looked at the trio.

The humans smiled, of course, and shared a high-five.

“And that’s why you don’t mess with actors”.

—

Ko-fi | Commission Info

10 or 11 little ducks have been spotted crossing the dash board

Ok so I know that there's this whole thing on Humans are space orcs about aliens being surprised on what we eat, like acidic food,etc.

But I've yet to see a post based on the opposite so what if they eat or drink stuff that we humans can't have and now it's our turn to be shocked.

Alien: Uhh still can't believe that you humans can eat all those things you call oranges,I mean that thing is filled with all sorts of acidic acids

Human: Well it's acidic to you and your species but not to us. I mean you have to have something in your diet that we humans can't eat right?

Alien: Hmmm let me think.I mean,the galactic cuisine menu on aboard is mostly edible to all species as it's meant to cut down on cost of having to order specific meals from all corners of the galaxy.And the drink you have hidden in your room doesn't count as I noticed it gets emptier every 7 cycles.

Human: What drink?I thought you were going to mention something I couldn't eat or drink but if it's in my room then it's most likely edible.Also where did you find this drink?

Alien: Well I found it in the storage areas along with all the cleaning supplies, figured it must be one of those alcoholic drinks you humans enjoy,just thought you hid it away from anyone else.

Human: Wait, you found it next to the cleaning supplies?Dude those are strictly cleaning supplies and plus I don't have any alcoholic beverages in my room!

Alien: Really?Well I had a taste of it and it was very similar to a drink I've had from back home.I had no idea that humans made it as well.Though the name was kinda weird.Why was it called 'Bleach'?

Human:

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EXCUSE BUT WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU DRANK?!

Alien: why is Rehaan vibrating his legs so much? It's been an hour and he's still doing it. Isn't he exhausted?

Alex: nah, he has ADD, but I'm not sure why he moves a lot. He has told me it's fun and it makes him concentrate better, so why not let him

Alien: add? Add WHAT? CHEESE?

I painted and drew shaggy with watercolour :)

I love watercolouring now

Toxic

Humans are toxic. Proceed with extreme caution.

.  .  .

Well, this entire mission was officially FUBAR.

Steve wasn’t sure why everything had fallen apart. This was his first mission as a civilian. It was supposed to be nice and simple. Go down planet side, be a body guard/pack mule, go back to the ship, boom, done.

But no.

Something had happened shortly after they arrived (Steve had no idea what, maybe a breach of social protocol?), and now they were in alien prison. There had been a scuffle, of course there was, he and James weren’t going down without a fight. It was their job to protect their crewmates, and at least they had done that. None of their three crewmates had been injured, just jostled a little, and defiantly scared. That fight ended badly for the humans, though. They were outnumbered, and to add insult to injury they were smaller than these aliens. The fight was embarrassingly short. It was infuriating.

He had a headwound and was bleeding all over the place, including those that manhandled him. He might have intentionally rubbed blood on them, just to be petty. A small part of him hoped his blood stained horribly. James had been slammed against a wall and definitely had a concussion. He was slurring his words and couldn’t focus. Fortunately, he wasn’t bleeding, and he wasn’t acting like he had internal damage, so he should hopefully recover without complications.

Steve took stock of the situation- he, James, and their crewmates were in a barred cell, bright lights almost blinding (that couldn’t be helping James), and no aliens were in sight. Steve still had his lockpicking kit, knife boot, and garrot. He wasn’t sure if it was arrogance or ignorance that let him keep his weapons, but he wasn’t going to complain. The first challenge was getting out of the heavy-duty cuffs placed on him and James. Steve was in the middle of trying to use his lockpicks on them when he heard James retching.

James had tried to turn his head so he didn’t get anything on himself, but was only partially successful. Luckily it was mostly just bile and whatever energy drink James had before the team left the ship. Steve did his best to help clean his friend, but it admittedly wasn’t much due to mobility issues and lack of supplies. He didn’t notice the vapor at first. He looked around the cell, thinking something was on fire. Nothing seemed amiss, so he looked down at James. James’s cuffs were… melting? where the bile had landed on him.

Steve blinked. That was a new one. To experiment he rubbed his cuffs on some of the bile, ignoring how gross it was. His cuffs started to melt too. Steve grinned. Sometimes it paid off to be an eldritch space horror abomination. His escape plan just got much simpler.

After making sure James was a comfortable as a concussed man could be, Steve got to work. He took off his overshirt, covered it in the bile, then rubbed it all over the cell bars, chatting ‘ew, ew, ew, gross, ew, gross, ew, ew, ew’ under his breath as he did so. He covered as many bars as he could. Sure, he could have just done a few, enough for them all to escape, but they gave James a concussion, so they deserved to have their cell bars melted. To be extra spiteful he wasn’t careful about not getting his blood everywhere. The bleeding had slowed down, so probably he wouldn’t get lightheaded from bloodless. Hopefully he could put that off until everyone got back to the ship safely.

While the bars were melting Steve got his group organized. He hashed out a quick escape route, instructed two of his crewmates on how to carefully carry a concussed human, and the third how to be a reliable look out. Once he was satisfied, they set out down the hall.

His encounter with the aliens came sooner than he was expecting. Their horrified recoil at the sight of him was gratifying. The reason the aliens were coming for them was not. Human blood was apparently toxic on this planet, and all the aliens that had come in contact with Steve’s blood were getting sick. The threat human blood posed outweighed whatever offence that had gotten them thrown in jail in the first place, so they were being exiled from the planet. Steve was a little disappointed at the anticlimactic-ness of it all, and even more so that he couldn’t see their reaction to their destroyed cell. He’d take the win though.

After James recovered he was very put out that he hadn’t been a more active participant in the rescue. The fact that he was the reason Steve was able to leave behind such malicious destruction was a small consolation.

.  .  .

AN: I started this because I wanted to write a story about human stomach acid destroying alien things. Inspired this post made by @aizawa-is-a-cat

I did little to no research on concussions. I’ve had what the doctor called a ‘semi traumatic concussion with memory loss’. I don’t think I was nauseous, but because of the memory loss I don’t remember the three-ish days before I got the concussion, the car accident that caused the concussion, and my memory of days after is spotty at best, so I can’t use my personal experience. I do know I was very confused, and every few minutes would ask what time it was or where I was.

More stories with Steve and James:

Death Before Two Trips

Specification is Important

Snippets feature Steve and James:

Hide the Object

Human Navigators

Interesting facts about astrology🌙🎸♥️🌞🧸

🪐Saturn is also the planet of time and aging, among others. So where you have saturn in your house means that you will spend more time to achieve success. But it is also related to the calendar year. Saturn makes us grow up in the right direction and leads us to the point of knowing some things. Saturn rules not only the father but also the grandfather and people who are older. Let's say when you're watching a cartoon and the main character on his way to his destination meets an old woman who gives him a message (this is saturn).

🌞Sun represents who we are and why we are here. It represents our meaning in life and the fact that we were born with a mission. The sun also represents our heroism and heroic journey through life. The Sun is our conscious self and the essence of who we are as mockers.

♥️Venus represents our way of seduction, as it wants to attract the attention and devotion of the object of its desire. So the sign we have in Venus represents how we want to impress someone or seduce them.

🎸Jupiter represents a positive attitude and belief in unlimited opportunities and resistance to any attempt to limit or control. It is related to our sense of meaning, religious and philosophical beliefs and attitudes. Together with the Moon and Neptune, it is often associated with addictions and weight problems. So Jupiter in the 1st house could mean that you can't gain weight because of it.

🧑🏻‍🎤Uranus' qualities are unconventionality, genius, awareness, eccentricity, idealism, interest in community. The house in which we have uranus represents the area in which we can improve the world and change society.

👩🏽‍🎨👨🏽‍🔬The difference between a person with a lot of Aquarius in the planets and a person with an 11th house placements is that they perceive the world and express themselves differently. Person with planets in aquarius can be for many people, strange, unusual and rebellious perceives things, resists new things, trends and wants to do something in its own way. While a person who has an 11th house placements wants to make a change and thus influence the world. You want to leave your mark and show how we as a society can act differently and progress in technology and the world.

🧜🏼‍♀️With Neptune it's basically a longing to escape from the cold, cruel reality of the world and. So with Neptune we relax by reading a good book, movie or something that distracts us from everyday life. But Neptune can get lost in this relaxation and returning to the real world. Then it can happen that we drink more wine than we intended, or that we stay up too long and then don't hear the alarm clock in the morning.

🧞‍♀️Neptune also gives us fantasies such as the desire to have someone take care of us, to never have to grow up or separate from our parents. Becoming independent and facing your responsibilities. So, for example, someone with Neptune in the 5th house doesn't want to part with things from childhood. And always comes back to them.

🌊Pluto and its roles: grandmother, magician, detective, researcher, psychologist, spy, miner, treasure hunter. In that house where you have a pluto, it shows your relationship with your grandmother.

🪂Aries is the first sign of zodiac signs. They are like new souls entering the world. Many times they tend to bump into things or suffer cuts and bruises that they usually don't even notice. But since Aries rules the head, they often have headaches. It is a sign that never returns to the past but looks forward. That's why someone with an aries moon is never emotionally burdened with the past or emotions from the past.

🌳Taurus is one of the most reliable signs in the zodiac. Taurus will always come on time and stick to what he says. And they know how to enjoy luxury and life. And many times they tend not to want to change anything (from people to furniture) and many times they are also inclined to old school things.

🧸Cancer represents our home, family, environment and where we come from. It shows how we look at them and perceive the family. It describes the history of our families and relatives before our birth. For cancer, it is always important how their tree is composed. You have the most memory in the area where you have the moon and it is there that you have the hardest time breaking away from the past.

🦁Leo rules the heart, the spine, and the posture of the upper part of the body with which it shows its pride. Leos tend to be confident and extroverted, although some can be quite shy and dislike exposure. They like big houses, expensive cars and designer clothes.

-Rebekah🧸♥️🧚🏼‍♀️

Dawgs

Idk what to post, plus i have no idea what story i should make between aliens and us humans-