I Love High Contrast Photos Of Fruit Floating Threateningly In The Night

The Justice League playing fuck, marry, kill, but you can’t play fuck, marry, kill, without Gothams Most Eligible Bachelor coming up at least once, so someone mentions him and Batman decides he does not need to know what his colleagues would do to his civilian identity and he stands up to leave

But Flash (trying to joke around) says “What are you friends or something?” and Batman doesn’t pick up on the joke because he’s halfway between revealing his identity or never showing his face in front of the Justice League ever again and so he just says “Sure that… yeah friends! Friends is good.” and he walks out like he’s trying really hard not to run and picks up a bottle of whatever’s strongest and as Batman leaves and he starts drink it without even pausing to breathe.

So Flash says “Holy shit did Batman go through a bad breakup with Bruce Wayne?!?!” and everyone starts arguing over whether they’re still dating or if they broke up and no one pauses to think that maybe they were never dating in the first place so they accept Batman x Bruce Wayne as fact.

The next time Batman has to meet the Justice League he’s fully prepared to never acknowledge anything happened but now there are three sides, one side thinks that they’re still dating, one side thinks they broke up because of Bruce (for varying reasons though), and the other side thinks they broke up because of Batman (again for varying reasons).

And so every single hero is trying to get Batman to admit/tell everyone else that their side was right and he’s sitting here questioning his every choice as some of his closest friends are trying to get him to tell them he was/is in a relationship with himself and how it ended.

(It’s also not only trying to figure out what happened, they want to know why Batman did whatever caused them to break up, what Bruce Wayne did to Batman, or hows it’s like to be dating one of the richest men alive)

This ends in one of two ways, the short way and the long way. In the short way he just pulls off his mask in the middle of a meeting to reveal that he is Bruce Wayne, he’s about five more comments away from a breakdown.

In the long way he runs back to Gotham and goes out of his way to never EVER have to see another hero ever again and so Superman chews everybody out because they obviously made him uncomfortable and it was none of their business, and he keeps trying to find Batman and Batman uses every skill he’s ever learnt to hide from Superman.

The media is in shambles trying to figure out what caused this, has the Justice League gone rouge and Batman is the only sane member left? Is it because he doesn’t have powers? Is Superman on the Justice Leagues side or Batmans? Was there an attack that revealed a secret? The only up side to the speculation was that no one paused twice when Bruce Wayne jumped out of a window after an attack at Lex Luthors gala because Superman was coming.

Eventually the world is going to end or something if Batman doesn’t help and he swoops in just in the nick of time and the minute it’s over he runs like his life depends on it but someone catches him or he’s to injured to get far or whatever and everyone is only not bothering him because Superman is glaring at them, DARING them to mention it and upset Batman.

And Batman just sits there for a long seconds, and pulls off his mask.

It’s absolute chaos. Everyones minds are breaking, Batman looks like he’s about to cry, J’onn is laughing so hard he can’t stand, the noise is so loud and all the heroes are freaking out so much that any nearby civilians are wondering if they didn’t manage to save the world after all.

Throughout all of this J’onn (the mind reader) knows his identity and is both comforting Batman and trying not to start laughing at everyone else.

Fantasizing about extremely traumatic scenarios bc it doesn't feel like my trauma is enough

favorite Bruce Wayne hc of the week: you’re allowed to follow him into the Cave to continue your argument, but he’s going to start undressing and pulling off armor while heading for the showers and if you get an eyeful, that’s on you.

It’s an effective tactic and stops a good 60% of those arguments in their tracks. The remaining 40% are usually intense enough to follow Bruce into the showers and yell at him while he’s casually showering off grime and blood.

Jason has reverse plot armor, his writers hate him so much they can't wait for a opportunity to beat him up despite him having every stat necessary for winning

get in bitches, we're surviving rock bottom no matter how much further we dig. one day we'll put down the shovel and climb out of this for good. we have to. as long as we're still alive there is hope.

Ra's vs. The Evil Overlord List

or AKA Ra's finding the Evil Overlord List and making use of it to become a better and more devious overlord

So in my random rant my mind came up with idea and latched onto it's absolute high comedy potential so lemme just stash out all the wonderful wonderful scenarios my mind managed to come up with for Ra's to drive the bats mad

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. : The bats break into Ra 's throne room ready for a full fight, weapons ready, stances turned so they’re blocking each other's blind spots only... for Ra's to seem disgruntled instead of smug or outraged. They are only made aware of another presence when Ra's turns to the...playpen!?? next to his throne to address the toddler happily playing there by themselves "Tell me little one, were my plans and codes this terrible?" and they watch on with horrified fascination as the toddler goes on and points out the most ridiculous and childish points to be faulted with his plans that the bats made good use of to get here and to their stunned surprise Ra's doesn't go into a rage because his plans got ridiculed by a literal toddler but has a disgruntled but all the same pleased look on his face as if stunned his idea actually worked and addresses the child once again "Well done my little advisor, this great work calls for a reward of ice cream after dinner" as the toddler cheers joyfully swinging the toy held in their hands happily in the air, all the bats simultaneously check themselves for drugs finding no such a luck

142. If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. When the hero launches  into an explanation of morality way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil  Overlords and it's important to spend quality time with the grandkids: Bruce in his full Batman regalia breaks down Ra's bedroom door only to find him holding... a toddler once again. Only this time the toddler seems to resemble both of them a bit too much for it to be a coincidence. Bruce is even more stunned when Ra's looks at him, face not giving anything away all the while his eyes gleam mischievously. Before Bruce could prepare himself for anything Ra's would throw his way Ra's opens his mouth "Well not like it is an unpleasant turn of events but what do I owe the pleasure of the great detective coming to visit me in person?" Bruce manages to snap back into the situation and growls out with a low threatening voice "Don't play coy with me Ra's. You know well enough what you did. Now you can come with me peacefully or we can do this the hard way" he says while preparing for the imminent showdown not expecting the following words coming out of his opponent’s mouth "Well great detective while don't you explain to my darling grandson why you would want to hurt his poor poor fragile grandfather" the shock of the words make his eyes snap to the small child held loosely in the immortal's arms looking at him with their big green eyes. Body locked, mind frozen he tries to bluster up an answer for the tiny innocent child's sake only for them to pull a string Bruce never paid mind to. The floor opens under them, and they fall, not having time to jump out of the way, only barely stopping themselves from landing in the water full of...crocodiles!? with a batarang stabbed into the stone walls. And still in the room little Damian let out an utterly happy and mildly feral but all the while blinding smile seeing his scheme work. He bounced in Ra's lap happily while he looked down indulgently. After all, this was his grandson's first successful scheme against his father. This is in order of a celebration. Maybe he could get his grandson some more crocodiles; he seemed to adore them immensely with their deadly beauty and fierce disposition, Ra’s mused as he walked off with his grandson buzzing in excitement held in his arms not sparing a thought for the man stuck in the hole, in the middle of his room, with a bunch of hungry predators.

158. I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Potato Salad: Tim steals a file labeled as one of Ra’s super-bad-if-it-actually-goes-trough plans only.. For it to be a copy of a hand written recipe of kabsa instead of the supposed plans of action. It’s a copy of Ra’s grandma’s  great recipe book. He watches in great enjoyment through the cameras as the realization sets in, saving the glorious moment with a well timed screenshot of the feed to be safely tucked away into his folder of epic bat fails.

popular YouTube channels are great and informative until they make a video about a topic you're informed on and then the house of cards comes crashing down as you realize how utterly wrong they are about most things

Please read my dni in my bio before interacting

I made a computer games to play when regressed so here's phone games to play when regressed!

Phone games to play when regressed!

All of these games are free unless stated otherwise and I will give content warnings if needed! If I miss anything and you think I should include it then feel free to tell me!

🌸= personal favourites

Monster girl maker 1 and 2

Description- it's a cute dress up game where you design monster girls, it's really really cute!

CW- I think it's got some medically stuff and general stuff that may be scary

My little pony pocket ponies

Description- it's a game where you get through enemies using the mlp characters it's quite tricky so I recommend this more for anyone who regresses to older ages but it's still really fun!

CW- none :3

🌸My little pony colour by magic

Description- it's a colour by number game where you colour in scenes and decorate a friendship museum!

CW- none :3

🌸My little pony magic princess

Description- you rebuild equestria and complete quests as well as little in game competitions!

CW- none :3

🌸My little pony celebration

Description- you celebrate loads of different parties hosted by the my little pony characters!

CW- none :3

Toca world

Description- pretty much like a doll house but on your phone, make characters, make them a house and explore the world etc, there are also dlc's you can pay for which add stuff like new locations etc

CW- none :3

Toca hair salon 3

Description- this is a paid game where you cut and style different people's hair!

CW- cartoon scissors, hair cutting equipment etc

🌸Hello kitty around the world

Description- you travel to different countries as hello kitty, learn facts about them and where they are in world! you also earn traditional outfits and food to dress hello kitty and feed her!

CW- none! :3

Hello kitty educational games

Description- play a variety of different games to earn outfits and furniture for hello kitty!

CW- none! :3

🌸Hello kitty fashion star

Description- dress up girls in sanrio clothes!

CW- none! :3

Hello kitty cafe

Description- own a cafe! And play as sanrio characters! This games a bit tricky so I recommend it for older kids! Aswell as that there used to be in app purchases to make it easier but they do not work anymore so keep that in mind!

CW- none! :3

Hello kitty goodnight

Description- you play little mini games to get the hello kitty family to sleep!

CW- none! :3

🌸Littlest pet shop your world

Description- play loads and loads of littlest pet shop mini games and if you have the lps with the rubbery heads you can even scan them into the game!

CW- none! (I haven't played every mini game but it seems fine)

Cats and soup

Description- this is a clicky game where you unlock cats for them to make soup

CW- drawings of cartoony knives (to cut veggies)

Bunnybuns

Description- you play as a bunny making food for customers based on hints they give you

CW- none (I don't remember if they use kitchen equipment but I think they don't, not certain though!)

My talking Angela 2

Description- look after a cat called angela, play mini games etc

CW- none! :3

🌸Virtual families 3

Description- I grew up play virtual families 2!this is the same premise we're you look after a family on your phone!

CW- none! :3

Tsuki odyssey

Description- similar to tsuki adventure but now you're in a new location, you can fish, buy things, decorate your house and see what tsuki gets up to

CW- I think burglary is mentioned at the start

Cats are cute

Description- expand a town of cats, pet them, feed them and play with them!

CW- none! :3

Adorable home

Description- play as a couple and adopt loads and loads of cats, look after them and decorate and expand your house!

CW- none! :3

Any papa's game

Description- cook food for customers! All the papa's games are paid for but they're only £1-£3! My personal recommendation is papa's pancakeria!

CW- some of the games have knives in them

🌸Pokemon playhouse

Description- you collect pokemon and play cute mini games with them! This is a good game for little kids who like pokemon!

CW- none! :3

Pokemon smile

Description- brush your teeth to catch pokemon!

CW- none! :3

Pokemon go

Description- walk around outside and catch pokemon! Definitely recommend doing this when it's less cold hehe

CW- none! :3

Pokemon cafe

Description- a match three gand where you make food and drinks fir pokemon customers!

CW- cartoony knife+kitchen equipment maybe

🌸Egg!

Description- raise eggs until they hatch into cute creatures! I loved this game when I was little

CW- none! :3

🌸My school-learning game

Description- be a teacher in a school and teach characters basic maths and English (it has a few different language options depending on where you're from) you can unlock things but you have to pay for them but what is free is fun

CW- none! :3

Colouring games

Description- colour in pictures!

CW- none! :3

🌸Jungle floof

Description- raise jungle animals and play mini games!

CW- none! :3

🌸Applaydu

Description- a kinder egg toy game! Loads of different activities to do and you can unlock characters by scanning your kinder toys!

CW- none! :3

🌸Duo abc

Description- learn the alphabet and basic words (only English), disclaimer? Maybe? not the same as duolingo, this app is made for children

CW- none! :3

Extras! (games I found while making this list)

Plants vs Zombies 1, 2 and 3

Description- fight zombies by setting up plants with different abilities! I recommend this for older kids, I had pvz 1 and 2 when I was younger and I was very bad at it haha

CW- zombies, ungorey violence (no blood etc)

Sundae picnic

Description- make ice cream for cats and dogs! (please don't actually give cats or dogs ice cream)

CW- none! :3

Pokemon sleep

Description- collect pokemon by sleeping (sometimes the app doesn't record your sleep properly but usually it's ok, still fun either way)

CW- none! :3

Khan kids

Description- I haven't played it yet but it looks like it has little mini games for younger kids on it!

CW- idk :c

just found out my entire personality is a trauma response