Wheeljack: - But How Did You Find Me?

knock out, mad at himself, entering the medbay: - i'm just an incredible idiot!

shockwave: - awareness of the problem and an objective evaluation of its scale are 50% of its solution.

☕ probably the weirdest associations ever but anyway tfp autobots as things you add in your tea:

🫙 wheeljack - cinnamon

🥛 smokescreen - milk

🥄 bulkhead - sugar

🌿 arcee - herbs

🍯 bumblebee - honey

🍋 ratchet - citrus

🫐 optimus - berries

🧊 ultra magnus - ice

🫗 cliffjumper - sugar syrup

smokescreen: - so.. what's the fear of spiders called again?

arcee: - weakness.

ratchet: - ..arachnophobia.

bulkhead: - common sense!

tfp!human!au

ultra magnus: *drinks his third coffee in a morning and prepares for the roll call after returning from the night duty*

smokescreen: — uh.. sir, are you sure you're alr-

ultra magnus: *cleares his throat*

ultra magnus: — those who are absent, raise your hands!

tfp!human!au:

smokescreen: - not a single person asked me how fast i could run in my new shoes today.

smokescreen: - being an adult is just so stupid.

ultra magnus: - it seems like we have to change our strategy. quick, what is the plan b?

bulkhead: - well.. there's no plan b.

wheeljack: - and there's no plan a either.

smokescreen: - yeah, basically, we have no idea what we're doing.

ratchet: - has anyone seen bumblebee and smokescreen?

bulkhead: - oh i'm sure they're fine. i left them with wheeljack!

ratchet: - no offense, bulkh, but those two sentences don't go together.

bulkhead: - we're surrounded!

wheeljack: - great, so that means we can fire in any direction!

tfp!human!au:

knock out: — i literally have no idea what's going on in my life.

knock out: — i'm just in charge of the outfits.

tfp!human!au:

smokescreen: - but if the human body doesn't get water, it dies!

ratchet: *takes away coca cola bottle*

ratchet: - i hate to break it to you, but this is not water.

smokescreen: *struggles to take the bottle back*

smokescreen: - no, but it's a liquid-