Saw This And Had To Share!! The 4th One Got Me Staring At It For Idk How Long Cause It Gives Me All The

Journal

I got into a car accident with my friend today... This was my very first one with an actual collision. Crazy enough, I was in shock at first and cried, but then once I realized what was going on, my brain decided to shut out my emotions and be logical about all the things I needed to do and all the people I needed to contact.

I don't know, I feel like I need to be the strong one in this situation. I can see how distressed my friend is and how guilty she is for the accident, and I just can't bring myself to make her feel any worse. There's a lot on my mind now... Are my pain and bruises going to go away soon? Are my travel plans for Spring Break going to work out? Is my dog going to be OK after the accident? Am I actually suffering from internal bleeding? Lol I realize I have a morbid sort of humor as well.

Tbh writing this out makes me feel really sad about my progress with thesis. I was literally started a routine and tracking how I am doing each day, and then "bam!", life hits you in a way you never expected.

I mean, yes, I am grateful I survived (especially my friend and my dog) because someone could have died. And then what? Where do my emotions go? How do I process all of this? How can I express my feelings while not feeling like I'm hurting my friend?

It's going to be OK. That's what I keep telling myself. I truly believe in it. I just don't know how that's going to happen. We shall see...

04/13/2025

Tapped out the past 2 days because depression is hitting me and I think I'm having pms. It feels really difficult to do anything when the end of the semester hits. Like there are so many tasks and assignments I need to get done, and I don't even have more time to do all of them. Ugh... why is life hard sometimes? Thankfully, I pushed myself to reach out to my friends and partner. I feel better today =)

Not sure if this happens to people or not, but I find myself starting something that gives me instant dopamine when I'm the most stressed/overwhelmed. Like this Friday, I told myself I needed a day to relax, and I ended up starting this 24-episode cdrama and y'all I'm on the last episode today... I'm so committed when the thing makes me happy and gets me hooked.

Anyway, I hope to continue updating my progress so I don't just give up. Thanks for giving me a space to feel supported and safe (even in the not-so-great times) 🩵

Completed

✅ Walk my dog ✅ Yoga (Haven't done it since the accident and it actually felt nice) ✅ Breakfast ✅ Watch Perfect and Casual (Such a simple and cute contract to love story! Definitely a rewatch when I need something wholesome and heartwarming💖) ✅ Clinic notes x4 ✅ Discussion post

To-Dos

⏹️ Thesis: revise section paragraphs ⏹️ Clinic report results x2 (hopefully I can get through more if I have the energy)

Let's trust that I will get through another day feeling at peace, relieved, and proud of myself 🩵

[End of day: 12:30am] I basically lost motivation after reviewing my advisor's feedback on my latest thesis draft... He wants me to revise my writing and add more details and find more updated citations. I feel like I just want to pull my hair out. I don't know how I'm going to do this, and I'm already exhausted at this point. I feel like giving up because this thesis seems never-ending... I wish I could just escape into the drama world and call it a day.

I'm back!

I was gone for 4 days straight cause I was out of town to celebrate a birthday. I actually did a lot of work on my clinic report during these 4 days and now I'm mostly exhausted and trying to finish everything left of the semester.

I still plan to be here and track my progress, I think I just need some time to adjust to my regular schedule again so I am not burning myself out even more.

Miss y'all 🩵

04/09/2025

Started reading this Webtoon called "Ex-Love Review" and I couldn't stop until I can find the latest chapters. So I'm just gonna finish one task and head to bed...

Completed

✅ School ✅ Part-time job ✅ Phone call with partner ✅ Quiz ✅ Dinner ✅ Read Ex-Love Review ✅ Clinic report results x2 (finished in 30 mins?? Amazing!!)

To-Dos

⏹️ Shower (I'm gonna shower in the morning, I promise 🤞🏻)

[End of day: 1:05am] Got more done than I expected, but I definitely neglected some things 😅 I think I'm starting to burn out, which is why I started reading on Webtoon to get a dopamine hit. Need to figure out how I can better rest and do schoolwork at the same time... Good night 🩵

Realizations

It hit me that studying is a lonely process.

No matter how much you connect with others on the topic of studying or study with others in the same place, it doesn't take away the fact that the learning process is a solo act.

Sometimes no one even knows when you are working hard. It is not a glorious process, but so many of us continue to do it day after day.

Maybe studying is how we will get closer to our goals and success. Maybe it gives you meaning. Maybe it gives you strength.

To be alive and still capable of learning. A lonely process but connects you with academics from the past and future.

Initial Greetings

This is my first time using Tumblr... I already feel pressured to write my first post in a certain way. But tbh I just wanted a space where no one really knows who I am besides the words I write.

At the moment, I see this as a place where I get inspired to study and work on my PhD stuff. Yes, I'm in a PhD program in Counseling Psychology in the US. It is a lot of hard work. It's been rough lately so I hope that this will be a place to can bring some light into my monotonous days.

Depending on how things go, maybe I'll be more active here. Who knows \\/ ^.^\//

Energy Periods

OK, I have to note this down because I just recognized an energy pattern that I have! What a win!

3-6pm: my peak productivity time

when it is easier for me to focus and concentrate

especially on days when I have not done anything at this point, I feel like doing something so the day doesn't slip away completely

helps when I have time to ease into a slow morning and make food for myself (and exercise on some days)

12-2pm: potential medium to medium-high energy

I know that it is possible for me to start doing tasks at 12pm, so this might be a period where I can start with easier tasks and feel good about some small wins

I think this will be a good time where I build up the momentum to do my higher tasks later in the day

9-11pm: medium energy

there have been days when I can still complete school tasks or even write parts of my thesis during this period (tbh I can push until 12am but I really need to get some sleep before a full day of classes)

hopefully this will be a period where if I have not been able to get to my thesis tasks during the week, I can save 2 hours just working on it before I go to bed

I usually sleep better the next day if I do work on my thesis task the day before

My schedule doesn't always allow a ful-day of research/thesis work, so hopefully this will help me organize my time based on my energy instead of what I feel like people keep telling me to do. I'm definitely not an early bird, and I think it makes sense to follow my own energy/rhythm at this point so I can actually reach my goal of proposing my thesis by the end of April.

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

I've been keeping this in my inventory for a while, but today felt like the right time to add this to my collection 🩵 I feel like I learned it when I saw this 2 weeks ago, but today I understood it. I have been hustling and bustling all my life, and I don't always take the time to care for myself and slow down. Today, I did. It felt so nice being able to walk home before the sun set, to play a quick game online before easing into a delicious nap on the couch with my dog.

It is so nice to be able to breathe again. To feel whole, to feel loved, to feel held.

04/08/2025

Starting my studying at home at 10:32pm... It's ok, I'm just going to do my best until I let myself start getting ready to go to bed in an hour. I will need the sleep, and I cannot wait to rest because I have worked hard lately =)

Completed

✅ School ✅ Staff meeting (1.5 hours...) ✅ Part-time job ✅ Nap (2 hours 😮‍💨) ✅ Dinner/snack ✅ Clinic document (so proud! I've been procrastinating on this since Feb lol)

To-Dos

⏹️ Clinic report results 1 ⏹️ Clinic report results 2 ⏹️ Shower (I'll consider this in the morning 😅)

Kinda still feeling frustrated that my professor docked points because I have been getting to class late, but I literally have accommodations for that. I hope it's just that he forgot. I'll need to talk to him about it, and I'm not enthusiastic about it...

[End of study: 12:08am] Ok, I'm calling it a day because I don't want to push my sleep back any further. Good night, lovely humans 🩵

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

I noticed myself living in fear whenever I started looking at my semester planner and seeing how many things I had failed to complete thus far. It is an overwhelming feeling that keeps me frozen and stuck.

I don't know if I can get everything done before the end of the semester. And right now, this is my worst nightmare. I have always succeeded in higher education and I think I have feared failure to this extent.

But my partner is right, I can do anything I put my mind to. This is not about whether or not I can do these tasks, it is the fact that everything needs to get done so what will I do now to make it happen. This is not about whether or not I have faith in myself and how hopeful I am about this situation or hopeless about the current misfortune, but what would the adult part of me do now to make things work out without minimizing my needs and suppressing my emotions.

This is a lot. It feels heavy like I am carrying bags of stones on my shoulders while climbing a mountain. But this time I need to face my fears like a responsible adult instead of running away from my troubles and avoiding everything.

I can do this. I WILL do this. 💪🏻