Blackdrago96 - Just On To See The World

I think many people have a fundamentally wrong idea of how CNC play is supposed to work.

To fit the season we are in I’ll describe CNC as the haunted house of kinky play.

In a haunted house the point is to be surprised and scared. You don’t know what is going to await you in each room and we suspend belief for a bit to pretend that these monsters are real, there is some real danger.

But under that is an agreement we make when we enter the haunted house. The actors won’t hurt us, the gore and monsters aren’t real. The people inside are going to try to scare you but if they see you aren’t having a good time they will back off.

It’s the same with CNC play. It’s something that should be done with someone you know well and who knows you even better.

It’s a blanket of consent that allows the submissive to lose themselves in the experience. To not have to constantly be checked in on over and over by their dom because their dom already knows their limits well, and how hard to push them, and can read very well when they stop having a good time and stop.

It’s a chance to explore scenarios where you wouldn’t actually want to be in. It’s the fun of someone pretending to kidnap you but you know deep down you are safe. It’s the fun of playing with multiple partners like you are being overcome against your will but the whole group is in on your limits and desires and is facilitating that for you.

CNC is never supposed to be to abuse someone. Or have an opportunity to hurt someone without their consent. It’s play, a show, an experience that’s a bit deeper and more involved than your ordinary sexual encounters. But it’s always for the enjoyment of both the dom and sub to fulfill their fantasies in a way that is always safe and consensual.

reblog to give a plushie to the person you reblogged this from

Bottle rocket under ice

Bit of advice to anyone who is new to kink or even just sex: assume "no", "stop", "too much", "wait" etc are safewords unless you specifically negotiate otherwise.

You can play with "no no it's too much stop" type stuff being banter or dirty talk or whatever, but you shouldn't assume they are. Yes even if you set a safeword and you or the other person isn't using it.

Also: getting quiet or not very responsive is a reason to check in. Someone not being able to give you a clear "yes I'm having fun let's keep going" or seeming a bit off is a reason to stop when you do check in, especially when they're a new partner.. You can't just assume things are fine bc they haven't said the safeword.

Safewords should be extra measures to ensure ongoing consent, not the only measure.

Jose Maria Velasco - Cardon

Jose Maria Velasco - Cardon (Detail)

Jose Maria Velasco - The Collegiate Church of Guadalupe (La Colegiata de Guadalupe) - 1859

Jose Maria Velasco - Valley of Mexico

José María Tranquilino Francisco de Jesús Velasco Gómez Obregón, generally known as José María Velasco, (Temascalcingo, 6 July 1840 – Mexico City, 26 August 1912) was a 19th-century Mexican polymath, most famous as a painter who made Mexican geography a symbol of national identity through his paintings. He was both one of the most popular artists of the time and internationally renowned.

Jose Maria Velasco - Valley of Mexico from the Tepeyac (Valle de México desde el Tepeyac)

José María Velasco - 'Oceano Atlántico' - 1889

Jose Maria Velasco - Tree of the Night of Sorrows (Árbol de la Noche de los Dolores)

José María Velasco - Ideal Territory

José María Velasco - Oaxaca Cathedral

José María Velasco - El Puente de San Antonio en el camino de San Ángel junto a Panzacola, (The San Antonio Bridge on the San Ángel road next to Panzacola) - 1855

Polyamory

Reblog if you’re polyamorous/open to polyamory in the future/in a polycule or open to one/interested in polyamory I want to see how many of us there are

And like if you think polyamory is okay, can be healthy, and doesn’t “go against human nature”

crybaby learns how to swim - subtitled

As both a poly and bi individual; The above jokes mentioned, are fucking sick. They aren't funny, and they are traumatic to anyone who had a bad childhood especially about sexuality.

your outwardly violent attitude towards any and all romantic & sexual arrangements that don't mirror your good wholesome vanilla monogamous ideal is actually not made quirky and lovable by your queer identity. people who do the "if my partner even asked about polyamory i would buy a gun" schtick on here are pretty functionally identical to straight people who joke about murdering their partners if they came out as bi

Yeah, both are great

i mean, why not????