“Lan Zhan! Let Me Ask You, Back Then, Under The Xuanwu Cave In Dusk-Creek Mountain, The Song That You

the you i knew

SNK S4 EP13: CHILDREN OF THE FOREST

wine x blood

Eren wants to forget. Mikasa chooses to remember.

If Eren really did send all these alternative universe visions to Mikasa, he wants to turn her back so she won’t follow the same bloody path as him. Eren sees their desire to be together as selfish one, because instead of fighting alongside with others and doing something great, they are choosing to live a peaceful life in mountains.

Eren loves his friends, but he is ready to sacrifice his love and humanity for a greater good. He doesn’t want them to remember him and bring them so much pain with his actions. He wants them to forget him so they won’t suffer as he did, when his close ones died.

But Mikasa sees it as the motivation to keep fighting and saving. She chooses to live so she will remember and the memory of her loved ones won’t die with her.

“Once I'm dead, I won't even be able to remember you. So I'll win, no matter what. I'll live, no matter what!”

Actually, before I thought that it was either because of her triggered anxiety, when she loose people she loves or when Ymir/Eren changes something in the timeline, but now it’s because Eren sends her alt. visions that should stop her from following him, but she still continues to move forward and stay by his side. Since she chooses to remember, Mikasa is technically opposing him and when she does, Mikasa gets a headache.

Mikasa’s selfish desire to be close to Eren saved so many people from Yeagerists and titans. Mikasa could simply die back in time and let herself be eaten by a titan. But her desire to love and remember pushes her to fight and simply live. Because of her Gabi wasn’t killed, Louise and her mom weren’t eaten by a titan, Kiyomi and her people didn’t die from hands of Yeagerists and much much more.

For Mikasa, love is a motivation. For Eren, love is a sacrifice.

Meta on "Thank you" and "Sorry" in MDZS

Inspired out of spite by a post where someone said Lan Wangji not wanting to hear thank you and sorry from Wei Wuxian in the novel is stupid because healthy couples need communication and this is why CQL is better. LMAOO

OK. Before starting I want to point out that one of the themes of the novel and Wei Wuxian's characterisation is the concept of indebtedness and owings . It is one of the reasons why he is so dutiful towards the Jiangs and why he sacrifices his golden core and the reason he resurrects Wen Ning.

The words Thank you and Sorry are very significant in the story and are very explicitly tied to the above mentioned themes. They are the words Wen Qing says to Wei Wuxian in her parting because she feels indebted towards Wei Wuxian as he has protected her and the rest of Wen remnants and even resurrected Wen Ning on her request. Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian have a cycle of debts where they both believe they owe each other. [Just to clarify I don't think it's just indebtedness that defines their relationship but it's definitely there ].In the next life Wei Wuxian uses the exact pair of words on Jin Ling as he owes him for insulting his parents whose deaths are caused by him.

As you can see these words are explicitly associated with indebtedness and owing.

Lan Wangji loves Wei Wuxian unconditionally. He obviously wants Wei Wuxian to return his feelings BUT he does not want Wei Wuxian to do so out of indebtedness or gratitude. Whenever Wei Wuxian says thank you to him, the narration describes as him being tense and sad, the cause of this is as I described earlier and also because in the past whenever they have exchanged these words they have parted on bad terms.

The text is very explicit about this.

"Lan Zhan you're really scared of me telling you 'thank you', aren't you? I suddenly remembered many of the times we parted ways in my past life, I said 'thank you' to you right before. And every time we separated, I worsened the next time we met"

The time they killed Wen Chao and Wen ZhuLiu at the courier station, the time they met each other through the flowers at the towers in Yunmeng, the time they parted at Yiling's Burial Mound. Every time, he used that word to mark a clear line between him and Lan Wangji, stretching out the distance between them.

The word that finally breaks their makeout session in the inn is one thank you from Wei Wuxian where Lan Wangji snaps as he believes Wei Wuxian is only doing this out of gratitude towards him and not because he returns his feelings. It is insulting and heartbreaking to him and he is angry because of this.

When the conflict is resolved with Wei Wuxian's confession that includes :

"... I swear it's not the heat of the moment or joking around like I have done in the past. I'm not doing it out of gratitude either. Anyways, it's not because of anything else. I really just like you so much."

He deliberately clarifies that there are no feelings of gratitude or indebtedness involved in reciprocating Lan Wangji's feelings.

"Between you and me, there is no need for 'thank you' and 'sorry'."

This line by Lan Wangji defines how he views their relationship i.e without indebtedness or owings. So far all the relationships that Wei Wuxian had been a part of have the feeling of obligation and indebtedness, the Jiangs for raising him and Wen siblings for rescuing him and helping him out . Ofcourse he loves them but indebtedness and his sense of duty to repay them are also his major motivations. He takes drastic steps because of this and we all know how they turned out. Lan Wangji doesn't want this kind of relationship with him, the one he had with others in the past. He wants him to be free of ever feeling like that he owes Lan Wangji something.

Thank you and sorry are not just courtesy words here but carry a hurtful baggage and choosing not to use them isn't a miscommunication but freeing from the feeling of obligations.

Now I'm entirely into Attack on Titan, have a Annie from the OVA Manga

THE ORIGINAL SIN AND TEMPTATION - MILVERTON VS. ALBERT

Moriarty the Patriot is full of religious themes and references and one of them is the tale of the Original Sin. It is told in the third chapter of the Bible, in Moses' first book and it's about how the first humans, Adam and Eve committed the first, the Original Sin due to the temptation of the Serpent who made them eat from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil what was forbidden for them by God.

Milverton and Albert both bring up this tale - now I will analyze how they look at it and view their actions regarding the Original Sin and how they tempted their victims (at least, in Milverton's case) - Whiteley and William - to sin.

In Albert's case, the Original Sin appears in chapter 63 during the Empty Hearts arc when Albert, after the Final Problem, was imprisoned in the Tower. He views William's fate as his Original Sin, that he was the one who made William the Lord of Crime. Albert loathed the world's current state when he was young and wanted to change it what led to a tragedy. He realized that he doesn't have the wisdom, neither the power to change the world - and that's when he met William and hears how he talks about his ideal world. He adopts William (and Louis) because he thinks that through his noble status, William can do the change Albert wishes for. He admits that he saw Christ in William.

Albert already decided to kill his family by that time but he was unable to do it on his own so he asks William if he would kill for his ideals. In the end, the murder of Albert's family is done by William and Albert's hands and Albert seems to blame himself for it even long, long years later. Not for the death of his family, but to make William a murderer. He talks about himself that he tempted William to sin because he himself was afraid to sin, that it was him who robbed William of his innocence and made him a murderer and later, the Lord of Crime. He even compares himself to the devil for this action.

When it comes to Milverton - whose Original Sin speech appears in chapter 37, during the White Knight arc - he talks about the Original Sin when he tempted Whiteley to sin. However, unlike in Albert's case who talks about his reasons why he tempted William to sin, Milverton's speech is not about Whiteley specifically, just generally about the reason behind temptation - for devils, those who are pure evil, nothing brings greater pleasure than tempting the good-hearted to sin and he himself is pure evil. And while Albert feels guilt and self-hatred for tempting William, Milverton feels pride and joy. For Albert, making William to sin was a mere tool for the ideal world, for Milverton, tempting the good-hearted is the goal and all he does is for that end. That's where the necessary evil vs. pure evil contrast between the Lord of Crime (which is also Albert) and Milverton comes to picture again.

But there are also similarities between the two temptations. While Milverton doesn't compare Whiteley to Christ, he is very much sees himself as a hero and that's what draws him to him, just like Albert became interested in William just because he saw Christ in him. Both William and Whiteley was fighting for an ideal world but while the temptation of William led to this ideal world, the temptation of Whiteley pushed away from it (even when Milverton himself was not against equality, he was after Whiteley because he was good.) Both temptations led to a family being murdered and the target of the temptation committing murder. Both Milverton and Albert talks how they dragged Whiteley and William down from their innocence to a murderer.

(Btw, Milverton here actually says OUR side, not MY side. The importance of that will go for a later analysis)

When it comes to Albert, he feels bigger guilt than his actual crime was (but Albert is after all, like that.) The child William talks about killing the evil nobles, so he already had these intentions in his heart, he already knew that the world can only be changed through evil methods, it was actually not Albert who planted these thoughts into him. William was also ready to kill Albert's family before Albert asked him to do so, so Albert didn't manipulate William into a crime (as he thinks) while Milverton truly blackmailed Whiteley (and Sturridge. And that police officer) into committing murder. Albert also took part in the crime, he was the one who killed his mother, while Milverton uses people to set up murder scenes and doesn't dirty his own hands. Albert thinks his Original Sin through years after the happenings, Milverton is during the actual happenings. Albert probably didn't think that it was like the Original Sin for him back then, Milverton is actively aim for a temptation. And talking about his crime as an Original Sin as HIS Original Sin, the first sin he committed is sensible to do in Albert's case, but for Milverton, what he did was not his first, HIS Original Sin.

So despite that they both talked discussing the same religious theme (and the same art is used) their approach regarding it - while having certain similarities on the surface - are fundamentally different. It was very interesting to analyze this through, I'm sad that we didn't see Milverton and Albert having a conversation about the Original Sin.

Chuya's Tainted Sorrow

Here comes a meta on my favourite bsd character:

Chuya is mostly explored in the two BSD novels Fifteen and Storm Bringer, so this post covers what happens in these books. In particular, I am going to use Chuya's song, gift and literary references to explore his story.

DARKNESS MY SORROW

Darkness My Sorrow is Chuya's character song and its title combines two different literary references:

Darkness comes from the Sheep Song, which is used to trigger Corruption:

O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again!

Sorrow comes from Upon The Tainted Sorrow, which gives its name to Chuya's ability

Let's discover what these two poems represent.

CHUYA'S DARK DISGRACE (THE SHEEP)

O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave this body of mine! I want nothing anymore but simplicity, quiet, murmurs and order. O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless. O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself, O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave, leave this body of mine! I enjoy nothing anymore but my wretched dreams. (The Sheep Song, Part II)

The Sheep is Chuya's first group, which welcomes him in as a child. Why is the organization called after this animal? There are several reasons, which tie with Chuya's relationship with his friends.

1 - Chuya is a herding dog

The Sheep's members are normal kids, but Chuya guards their territory and punishes trespassers violently. This is the behaviour of herding dogs, which are famous for their aggressiveness towards outsiders.

"Everyone's waiting for you to give this enemy a beatdown! That's the only way we Sheep can protect our turf! We've only made it this far because everyone knows they can't mess with us!" (Shirase in Fifteen)

2 - Chuya is a sheep among wolves

"Chuuya's got all that berserk firepower, but here he's like sheep getting stared down by a wolf." (Dazai in Fifteen)

Chuya's relationship with the Sheep is exploitative and toxic. The other kids use Chuya's love and wish to belong to control him. All in all, Chuya is used as a pawn for the organization's well being:

"We Sheep took you in when you had no family and nowhere to go, but you already gave us more than enough in return. That's why... it's time to rest... after dying and contributing to the Sheep one last time." (Shirase in Fifteen)

3 - Chuya is the King of the Sheep

Luois I, King of the Sheep is a children book about a sheep, who finds a crown. He puts it on and becomes King. The point of the story is that Luois I is like other sheep, but chance and a superficial attribute turn him into a royal.

Chuya sees himself in the same way:

"I'm not a King," the boy, Chuuya Nakahara, spat. "I just happen to have something no one else does: power. I'm simply fulfilling the responsibility I have." (Fifteen)

Chuya's "crown" is his gravity manipulation gift that sets him apart from others. He even calls it a "good card", so something luck gives him.

Luois I lets the crown get to his head and believes he is above others. Chuya instead really wants to be part of the flock:

Chuuya wasn't anyone special; he didn't have a skill, either. He was just a regular member of the group. He wasn't the king, he had no powers, he wasn't the center of attention - he was simply a single Sheep among the flock, chatting with his friends. (Chuya's wish in Storm Bringer)

However, his ability is so powerful that it is the Sheep kids, who forget Chuya is a teenage boy just like them:

"Chuuya's covered in wounds. I've never seen him like that. He looks just like a regular guy my age. Wait, no - he doesn't just look like one. He is my age. He's a boy just like me." (Shirase in Storm Bringer)

In short, Chuya doesn't want to be the Sheep King, but he is forced into the role by the crown of power:

"Shut up! If you think you can become king, then do it! You can have this power!" Chuuya howled, unable to take it any longer. "To hell with power! If I didn't have this skill, I'd still be with you guys...!" (Storm Bringer)

Still, gifts are metaphors of the characters' interiority. So, what does Chuya's abnormous skill symbolize? What is the real flaw that defines Chuya's relationships and gets in their way?

"Once there was this boy who could amplify the skill of anyone he touched. Super convenient. So what do you think would happen if he used it on himself instead of someone else? (...) He amplified the skill to amplify the other skill, which amplified the skill to amplify skills that amplify skills. This self-referencing continued nonstop as he endlessly amplified his own skill." (N in Storm Bringer)

Storm Bringer reveals that the origin of Chuya's gravity manipulation is the gift to make other skills more powerful. The user applies his gift on himself and makes it stronger and stronger until infinite energy is created and space warps. So, Chuya's singularity is born: a gift able to control gravity. In other words:

The original ability is to make others stronger

If the ability is used on one-self (so that the wielder can become more powerful and make others even more powerful), then a contradiction arises and a monstruous skill appears

This process is a representation of Chuya's tendency to grow stronger for others' sake. He hones his fighting skills to protect the Sheep (to make them stronger), but this turns them too dependent on him (an organizational vulnerability). What a good leader should do is instead to nurture his people, so that they can be independent and strong:

“A leader is both the head of the organization and the organization’s slave. For the survival and the profit of the organization, they gladly put themselves through any manner of filth. They develop their subordinates and place them where they best fit. And, if necessary, they use and dispose of them. For the sake of the organization, they take on any act of barbarism with glee. That is a leader. All for the organization, and for the protection of this beloved city.” (Mori in Fifteen)

This is Chuya's mistake and the reason why the Sheep disbands. Chuya falls short as a leader not because he isn't as smart as Dazai or Mori (if anything, I think he is going to be a better leader than both). Rather, he fails because he doesn't know how to depend on others:

"It's because you are our friend. Were things different with the Sheep?" They had been. That was what Chuuya's flustered expression was saying. Everyone in the Sheep depended on him. The contrary was unthinkable. (Storm Bringer)

He insists on doing everything by himself, but a leader should work with his subordinates. This is what Chuya lacks in Fifteen and what he sails up to learn.

Still, to succeed Chuya needs to face the origin of this flaw, which lies in how he perceives himself:

O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself

Chuya sees himself as inferior to others. This complex makes him willing to be used, if it means he belongs somewhere:

LONELY DARKNESS MY SORROW, once it is opened by the key I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY) Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all."

This is the key stanza of Chuya's song, which reveals what Chuya's darkness really is. Loneliness. Chuya is scared of being alone, so he does his best to conform to others' wishes. For example, he dresses like those around him not to stick out.

Chuuya, age fifteen - He wears sportsy clothes, with several sheep symbols:

Chuuya, age sixteen - He wears a formal attire with much black in it. Perfect mafia-style:

However, he can't escape his interior pain, which metaphorically manifests in Corruption:

O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless.

It is not by chance that the verses, which open Chuya's gate affirm the poet's solitude. That is because deep down Corruption is just this. Chuya's isolation.

THE TAINTED SORROW (ARAHABAKI)

Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, the snowflakes fall so harsh. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, even the strong wind gusts. The Tainted Sorrow is Just like a fox’s hooded fur. The Tainted Sorrow is Covered by snowflakes and it cowers. The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets... (Upon The Tainted Sorrow)

Corruption is a state where Chuya gives up his body to Arahabaki. What is this entity? In universe, it is a singularity, a self-contradicting skill able to create infinite power. It metaphorically represents two things:

Everyone's objectification of Chuya

A part of Chuya himself

1 - Chuya's life is defined by others reducing him to a skill

-N and the Government kidnap, abuse and clone Chuya because of his self-contradicting gift. It is not the two kids (the original and the clone) they are interested in. Rather, they reduce them to their special abilities:

"Just like how we respect your will, we respect the will of your skill Arahabaki, as well. But... how should I put this? Your will is tying Arahabaki down, and as long as your will is firm, we won't be able to remove Arahabaki from you." (N in Storm Bringer)

N says it oudloud. He respects Arahabaki's will more than Chuya's. Except that Arahabaki has no will:

"Sigh... Why do you wanna see it so bad?" Chuuya said. "It doesn't have a personality or a mind of its own, so what's meeting' it gonna do for you? You gonna pray to it because it's a god? It's a god of destruction, y'know. Nothing more than a mass of energy. It's no different from a typhoon or an earthquake. Ya might as well pray to a power plant." (Fifteen)

Arahabaki is not a person, but the embodyment of Chuya's gift. And yet, it is given a name and treated as more important than the kid.

-Rimbaud literally wants to turn Chuya into a skill:

"Allow me to reintroduce myself. Rimbaud. Arthur Rimbaud. My skill is called Illuminations. Chuuya, my goal is to kill you and absorb you into my skill" (Rimbaud in Fifteen)

He doesn't want to kill Dazai because he hates murdering children. And yet, Chuya is Dazai's same age. However, Rimbaud sees him as nothing, but Arahabaki's host.

-Verlaine wants Chuya to be his clone:

"I dunno about you, but I'm human." "You aren't human. You're 2,383 lines of code." (Chuya and Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

He denies Chuya's humanity and insists he is an artificial creation. Chuya can't be the original kidnapped child, but needs to share Verlaine's origins and hate for the world. Verlaine doesn't consider his brother a person, but an extension of himself.

2- Arahabaki is Chuuya's inner beast

In psychology, the beast is a personification of one's deepest and most repressed feelings. What are Chuya's?

His control on gravity suggests two strong emotions:

a) A lack of freedom - The ability to control gravity should make one freer. And yet, Chuya is always chained:

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison

He spends his childhood imprisoned in a lab. He is used as an attack dog by the Sheep. He is threatened to join the mafia with his friends' lives and Rimbaud's secret files. In a sense, he always serves someone. That is why Arahabaki is a servant deity.

b) A huge existential weight - He can make things lighter, but he still shoulders too much:

"Tell me, tin man," Chuuya suddenly stated, his voice devoid of all emotion. "Why did they die?" "Because of you, Chuuya." Silence. "Yeah, it is my fault." (Chuuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)

For example, Chuya blames himself for what happens with the Sheep, the Flags and later on Adam:

"What's wrong, Chuuya? Everyone's going to die at this rate. You're going to kill them. Your shortcomings are going to kill them." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

Chuya fears whoever gets close to him dies. That is why Arahabaki is a god of destruction.

Points 1 and 2 explain Chuya's loneliness. On the one hand others only see his skill (objectification). On the other hand Chuya doesn't see himself (struggle with the beast).

Arahabaki is a god whose origins are uncertain, so nobody understands it. Not even Chuya:

'In languor dreams of death' … who was the one that said it?

In the song, Chuya wonders who is the author of his own poem. This shows how disconnected he is from himself. He wears a mask of violence and bravado to hide his vulnerability. Still, this fragility emerges every time he lets Arahabaki out. Here comes the interpretative key of Chuya's character...

Arahabaki is nothing, but the Tainted Sorrow of the poem:

Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, the snowflakes fall so harsh. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, even the strong wind gusts. The Tainted Sorrow is Just like a fox’s hooded fur. The Tainted Sorrow is Covered by snowflakes and it cowers.

The tainted sorrow is a fox covered in snow, while the wind howls:

Black snow began fluttering around Chuuya. Red scar-like runes crawled across his skin. He ignored the law of physics, hovering in the sky, as he glared down at the beast on the surface. Intense heat caused by the gamma radiation filled the air. The night was scorched, and the scenery warped. (Storm Bringer)

Arahabaki-Chuya is described as a tailed-beast and the anime shows he is similar to a fox. Moreover, he is covered in black snow, while his gravity powers manifest a strong wind.

The rest of the verses convey Chuya's feelings:

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets...

Interestingly, the fox and the setting sun come up in Storm Bringer:

The video showed a golden coin. One side was engraved with a fox, the other with the moon. It was beautiful yet somewhat melancholy. (Storm Bringer)

The young Chuya repeats Upon the Tainted Sorrow while playing with a coin that has a fox and a moon on its sides.

The literary metaphor becomes clear. The Sheep Song is the key to open the Tainted Sorrow's gate. Chuya activates Corruption through verses, that state his loneliness. He says them, when he is ready to face the darkest part of himself.

WHAT IS CHUYA?

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self.

The Tainted Sorrow dreams of death, which means Chuya is suicidal.

This is why he is both drawn and repulsed by Dazai:

"Your birth itself was a mistake. We're the same. Is there really a point to suffering through all that pain for a life that isn't even real?" The voice was taunting him. "Shut up," Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. "Screw you, Dazai." "That's just proof that you at least somewhat believe what I'm saying. Because deep down inside, you're the same as me." (Storm Bringer)

Dazai is the Chuya, who regrets being born and wishes to die. Still, he is also the Chuya, who wants to live, despite it all:

Chuya quietly stared at Daai's expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. "So you're saying... you want to live now?" "I wouldn't go that far," Dazai replied with a resigned smile. "Maybe I won't find anything, but I figure I'll give it a try." (Fifteen)

The Tainted Sorrow wishes nothing because it isn't a person. Chuya fears he has no will of his own because he isn't human:

Chuuya Nakahara didn't dream. For him, waking up was like a bubble emerging from within mud. (Storm Bringer)

This fear is why Chuya's friendship with Adam is so important.

Adam is a an artificial creation, like Chuya. He is even called after the Frankenstein monster. He is a robot programmed to destroy himself for the sake of his mission:

"This is the real reason why an android was sent, instead of a human detective. My core, which now contains state secrets, will be incinirated along with Verlaine." (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Adam is a person, like Chuya. He is even called after the first man. He is a friend, who chooses to sacrifice himself for a loved one:

"I get to protect you. I couldn't ask for more." (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Dazai and Adam are linked to life and humanity, which are the main themes of Chuya's arc in the novels.

They both get to keep on living together with Chuya:

Dazai curled into the fetal position and screamed, "Dying with Chuuya? Anything but thaaaat!!" (Storm Bringer)

"Would you like to hear an android joke, Master Chuuya?" (Adam revealed as alive at the end of Storm Bringer)

Fittingly, Storm Bringer ends with the three of them together and alive. Chuya loses several friends, but by the end he still has two bonds. Two people who survive their friendship with him.

Even more importantly, Dazai and Adam both care about Chuya's humanity:

"Chuuya's gonna kill N at this rate and lose his humanity, but I want to see him suffer as a human. That's why I have to stop him" (Dazai in Storm Bringer)

"Do you know whether Master Chuuya is human?" I was curiously hopeful that he would know the truth. (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Not only that, but they help Chuya finish his arc and find himself:

Then what is a soul? My friend's final words... What if those words were merely the words of a soulless command? So what? (Chuya in Storm Bringer)

Dazai gives Chuya a choice and Adam helps Chuya make it.

Dazai believes in Chuya's humanity more than anyone else:

"You sound like you're certain he's human." "I am." Dazai sighed, smiling. "There's no way I could hate a man-made character string this much." (Storm Bringer)

N, Shirase, Rimbaud and Verlaine all reduce Chuya to a skill. Dazai instead sees Chuya as his own person. Sure, he finds Chuya annoying, but he is the only one, who interacts with Chuya for who he is, rather than what he can do.

Adam realizes Chuya is human no matter his origins:

"Asleep or not, he is just an ordinary human," Chuuya replied indifferently. "his skill is strong, but that's it. He gets mad, he worries... That doesn't seem to be enough for him, though." "You are exactly right. It appears you have reached the conclusioin you needed to arrive at." (Chuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)

The Flags, Verlaine, Dazai and Chuya himself are focused on uncovering Chuya's birth. Is he the original kid or the clone? Discovering the truth is everyone's goal. Still, by the end Adam realizes Chuya's nature doesn't matter. He is Chuya either way. He is the person who teaches Adam about humanity. He is Adam's first friend.

Thanks to both Dazai and Adam, Chuya finally faces himself and activates Corruption. Not only that, but Chuya's final choice to let Arahabaki out is a perfect example of how he interprets freedom:

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY)

Chuya is trapped in many ways and he knows it. He is given a gift he doesn't want and he is forced to join an organization he dislikes. And yet, he makes all these "imposed inconveniences" his. Chuya accepts the "card he is given" and uses it the best he can.

He combines his gift with martial arts, so that it really becomes his own ability:

He finds his own motivation to work for the mafia:

"I chose to join the Mafia on my own, and I'm never gonna be your lackey, much less your dog!" (Chuuya to Dazai in Fifteen)

He doesn't open the gate when N forces him, but he chooses to on his own terms.

It is really not by chance that in Chuya's first big fight in the manga, this happens:

Chuya claims there is no choice, but he is still the one who decides to activate Corruption. Even when trapped, Chuya always pushes forward and plays the hand he is dealt with passion. Even if he is unsure of who he is, he lives on as himself.

WHO IS CHUYA?

Chuuya took off one of his leather riding gloves and gazed at his hand. This is my hand, he thought. (Storm Bringer)

Chuya is a person. He has always been, no matter if he is the original or the clone. He feels pain, happiness, surprise. He is able to bond and to empathize with others. All of this makes him human. Not only that, but all of this makes him Chuya.

It is interesting that by the end, many people who objectify Chuya, recognize his personhood.

Shirase sees him as the teenage he is and saves him

Mori traps Chuya in the mafia, but is touched by Chuya's passion and loyalty:

Both Rimbaud and Verlaine eventually see who Chuya is:

"Chuuya, you already possess strength and talents all your own, separate from Arahabaki. You are strong not as a god but as a human being." (Rimbaud in Fifteen)

"Does that mean... you do not yet resent the world?" "There's people I hate, but not all of'em," replied Chuuya. "I know better than to try and live a solitary existence. You used to feel the same, right?" Verlaine didn't respond. It was as if his silence itself was his answer. (Storm Bringer)

And tell him to live on:

"Chuuya... can I... ask you... a favor?" "What is it?" "Live" Randou said in almost a whisper. (Fifteen)

"Chuuya-live." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

Chuya manages to inspire all these people. At the same time, he is inspired back by them:

I was blessed with wonderful friends. That's all. I could have been in your situation, and you could have been in mine. (Chuya to Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

He integrates all his loved ones in who he is:

He (probably) imitates Hirotsu's habit to wear gloves and to take them away, when he is getting serious. This mannerism partially substitutes his practice to fight with the hands in the pockets

He is given his motorcycle by Albatross and keeps it as a memory of the Flags

He wears Verlaine's hat, which is really a gift from all three Chuya's key parental figures:

1- Rimbaud creates it for Verlaine

Once Verlaine puts on the hat, the fabric lining acts like coils, deflecting any external command sequences that could tamper with his mind. In other words, the wearer can control command sequences at will. With this hat, Verlaine is one step closer to becoming a human with free will. (Rimbaud in Storm Bringer)

2- Verlaine passes it down to Chuya

"You really like that hat, huh? That was his, right?" "Yeah, I'd rather not wear my brother's hand-me-downs, but it's got some pretty useful functions." (Shirase and Chuya in Storm Bringer)

3- Mori gives it to Chuya as a gift when he joins the mafia

"What's the hat for?" "It signifies your acceptance into the Mafia," Mori explained with a smile as he stood facing Chuuya. "Whoever recruits a new member into the organization usually looks after them as well. It's custom to gift the new recruit with something they can wear as a symbol of that bond." (Fifteen)

As a result, Chuya's hat is an object full of symbolism:

Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances.

It is both shadow (a shadow of a hat) and light (within the darkness, it dances). On the one hand it is the key to Corruption, so to chaos. On the other hand it gives Chuya the power to control this chaos to an extent.

It is both what grants Chuya's free will and what threatens his autonomy:

It describes Chuya's bond with Mori, which is contradictory. Mori blackmails Chuya to join the mafia and controls him. He also offers Chuya a family (heart) and an insight on leadership (mind).

It represents Chuya's bond with Rimbaud and Verlaine, who are Chuya's literary parents, as their real life counterparts inspired Chuya Nakahara's poetry. In general, Chuya's past lowkey alludes to the true poet's one, at least metaphorically.

Nakahara Chuya is born in a rather wealthy family and forced by his father to pursue medicine studies. However, he discovers poetry when he is 8 years old and his younger brother dies. Later on, he rebels against his father's education and is inspired by Rimbaud and Verlaine's works. He imitates both their poems and their dandy life-style.

Similarly, BSD Chuya finds himself trapped until he is symbolically awaken to literature (break out of the lab) by Rimbaud and Verlaine. Here, his poetry (Upon The Tainted Sorrow) is set free and Chuya is reborn:

Those newborn cries filled the outside world in the form of flames. The raging flames brought destruction to the surface for as far as the eye could see. And thus, " " was born. (Fifteen)

Interestingly, Chuya is 7 or 8, when Rimbaud and Verlaine arrive in his life. Moreover, his survival and freedom come at the cost of his other self (his clone/the original Chuya). Just like Nakahara Chuya's first poem is the result of his grief for his brother's death.

In other words, Chuya is Rimbaud and Verlaine's literary child. He is what their bond leaves behind. This is why initially they both strongly project on Chuya, but eventually let him go. Isn't it normal for a parent to see themselves in their child? And isn't it normal for the child to imitate the parents to an extent? And yet, the child is his own person. Just like this, Chuya is strongly defined by both Rimbaud and Verlaine, but he is growing into himself:

"It's okay. The Port Mafia is my family now" (Chuya in Storm Bringer)

So, who is Chuya? It's easy, really. He is a Port Mafia Executive (and probably the next Port Mafia boss). Right now, he needs to define his role within the organization and outside Mori. As a matter of fact, Mori is Chuya's third father, so to become an adult, Chuya needs to outgrow him. Just like he did with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Only then, he will truly choose who Chuya Nakahara is.

mtp characters as birds (2)

a follow-up to this post (part 1).

and in this part it's gonna be the rest of the moriarty's party + even more fun facts about birbs~

MORAN: a steppe eagle. these birds are large and formidable birds of prey that both hunt live game and don't shy away from scavenging for carrion. and that's exactly the line of thought that i used for an association here. moran, as william's right-hand man, matches this description well: he both hunts down those who are not needed alive anymore, and clears william's path of any filth that could lead to the lord of crime and get in their way. tbh initially he was meant to be an eastern imperial eagle, but i settled for a steppe eagle purely because in my mind, it matches moran's appearance more (as its plumage is quite darker than that of an eastern imperial eagle).

FRED: a shrike! these little cuties look harmless and defenseless, but in reality they're as much fierce hunters as any preying bird. shrikes can eat about anything from insects to vertebrates, including other birds as well, and are known to hunt prey even larger than themselves. but their uniqueness comes from their hunting technique. as shrikes are not true birds of prey (they're passerines), lacking assets that those guys have (like sharp talons), they stalk their prey and ambush it in one swift strike, using their beaks to break victim's neck. and when it comes to killing prey bigger than themselves, they often impale it by carrying and throwing it at sharp barbs or thorns. all in all, they're such cool birdies lol.

anyway, all that yap is just to say that fred's fighting skills and his general role as a spy that hide behind his quiet and kind character (or is it the other way around?) remind me a lot of shrike's behavior and its deceptive nature.

BONDE: right after william, he was the second one with whom i struggled the most, but eventually i've settled on a european bee-eater for him. it's a very beautiful and colorful little bird that imo perfectly reflects james' charm and charisma. but another noticeable thing about bee-eaters (as it's evident from their name lol) is their diet, which consists mostly of, well, bees. sadly, for that reason some beekeepers would often kill them thinking they ruin their hives (which is not the case at all). in a way, that somewhat reminds me of irene adler's fate as well, considering how they endangered themselves for so long while working for a good cause, but then got involved in something far bigger than themselves and just... couldn't handle it, because, despite how talented they are, they're but a human being after all (or a bird being in case of bee-eaters ig).

JACK: ok, it seems like this fancy old man is actually the only one who gets two picks from me lol. you see, i just can't imagine him in his youth and him in his old age to be the same bird. idk, he's like a totally different person, and that's it.

alright, so, the first one, corresponding to his youth, would be a golden eagle. this apex predator perfectly describes jack at his prime, with him being feared by both his foes and allies alike.

the second pick, matching his old butler persona, would be a white stork. tbh it should've been a black stork, as i think its shy and reclusive nature better reflects jack's retirement and living for years as a simple butler, severing any possible connection to his past. and, uhh, bc how could i not include a black stork in a bird list of mine.... my friends would be shocked if they heard about it lool. but then i kinda looked again at this old man and thought that he's. um. if he's old, let him... be old. and look just as glorious for his age even as a bird. :p

MONEYPENNY: a short-eared owl! just... dang. look at how gorgeous these birds are and tell me that moneypenny isn't just as gorgeous as them. honestly, it's one of the few characters/birds where i went mostly by vibe and somewhat by appearance, but gosh that owl looks just like her incarnate, and i can't see it any other way.

VON HERDER: a proud example of a true magpie! he's sooo magpie-coded lol. again, as yet another corvid, magpies are intelligent birds that are also quite playful and energetic. even though them liking shiny/metal things is actually a myth, they're still fond of collecting some little trinkets for building their nests. and i can't help but think of von herder who always does as he pleases and invents all kinds of stuff from nothing. i bet if you give him one day, a can of trash, and leave him in a basement, he'll make you an endless engine because he got too bored. and him loving those strange metal puzzles? so cute. so magpie.

the latest episode made me so excited... especially the conversation between gabi and kaya in the end. it was awesome. and i can’t help but think again about how deeply gabi actually hates herself. the saddest thing is that she doesn’t even understand it. may i just cry about this lost, misguided child?..

when kaya asks gabi why her mom must be eaten alive, all that gabi has in answer is racist marleyan bullshit. and when kaya calls her out on that bullshit, there’s nothing left but shock and panic. 

because there’s no reason why kaya’s mom has to die. and why gabi and other eldians have to suffer, carrying the burden of their ancestors, too.

it’s that simple.

but as kaya struggles to understand why people of paradis have to be eaten by titans, gabi and marleyan eldians struggle to understand why they have to live in an awful ghetto, bear countless acts of violence, and be turned into these goddamn titans. sadly and ironically, marleyan propaganda is the only thing that helps gabi not to sink in the despair her life is. it gives her simple reasoning of why she has to live like that and be hated, as well as the faith in a better future. 

if only she will be the good eldian, of course.