Today I Want To Present You Gabi ‘i Don’t Fucking Care About Falco’ Braun:

mtp characters as birds (1)

so, one day i woke up and thought to myself: what kind of birds mtp characters would've been?

and, well. at that point, there really was no going back.

anyway, now that i have some time to put it onto my virtual paper, here's my little rant on the matter. i typed all characters that i could remember, but in this part there're only moriarty & holmes brothers + john.

WILLIAM & LOUIS: i'll be honest here—of all mtp characters, william was the hardest one to name for me. also, initially the brothers had different species assigned to them (which kinda did pair up pretty well tho), but as i had trouble envisioning will as one, i scrapped it and went with the second option. and for the better ig as it makes much more sense now.

so, all that said, my pick for both william and louis is a pair of barn owls.

ngl, barn owls are one of the long-standing favorites of mine. it was kinda natural for me to associate them with a pair of my favorite mtp characters lol. although initially that association hadn't extended to william, upon some thought i've seen the hidden appeal, and now can't imagine him as anything but a barn owl.

these ethereal birds have a lot of symbolic meaning attached to them, the most prominent being that of darkness, doom, and death. being the lord of crime, both william and louis reflect upon those ideas throughout the story a lot. but another meaning, derived from the owl's ability to see through darkness, is that of wisdom, perception, and introspection, and these fit brothers even more so. also, as the lord of crime, they match another motif connected to barn owls—transformation. this one mirrors william's desire to change his country, and louis' determination to change himself for william's sake and the world that william wanted him to see.

lastly, barn owls are simply beautiful birds, and i just think it would've been neat to include them in the list fsjkfsnkjs

ALBERT: 100% a dove. an instant pick here lol (that actually has little to do with charlie). doves as well carry a lot of symbolic meaning, such as peace, purity, freedom, and love. funny enough, albert shares none of those qualities—save for one. he rejected peace once he decided to follow william to the end. he lost his purity when he took the life of his mother. he refused freedom to atone for his (and william's) sins. love is the only thing that albert has left in abundance.

but that is not the line of thinking that i used here. actually, albert being a dove in my mind is more due to his noble status that he hates than anything else. at first, i imagined him as a white dove, one of those specially bred over the centuries kinds. perhaps, even one of the breeds that have suffered some unsavory consequences of inbreeding. but then my eyes fell upon a luzon bleeding-heart, and—

oh. my. god.

that has to be The One.

the feathers on their chests have a bright red coloration that indeed reminds of a bleeding heart. and that's— just such a fascinating piece of symbolism? that fits albert perfectly??

so beautiful.

SHERLOCK: another instant pick— none other than a crow. crows are highly intelligent birds that are also known for their mischievous and playful nature. they're quite undemanding birds that, being opportunistic eaters, can eat almost anything and thrive almost anywhere around the globe.

when a crow, or one of its flockmates, is disturbed, they'll go to no end in holding a grudge against a person who did so. although sherlock isn't the kind of person to hold grudges, he's still quite fierce when it comes to protecting those dear to him, and hunting down criminals in a fit of hyperfixation on a mystery. moreover, crows are not just intelligent, but very curious creatures too, which, again, is yet another scherlock's important characteristic.

so, all things considered, including sherlock's chaotic yet kind and loyal nature, i can't see him as anything but a crow.

JOHN: he's a cute little goldfinch! tbh i went mostly by vibe and appearance here. but i find the symbolism quite fitting as well, as these cuties are most often associated with joy, cheerfulness, persistence, and light-heartedness. and, well, who could've been the embodiment of these qualities if not john?

there's also a profound religious meaning tied to goldfinches, as they are often connected to the image of christ. as i have no real knowledge of theology or religious art, i can't give any commentary on the matter. but i still wanted to mention this fact, because imo someone who could deal with pre-time skip sherlock on daily basis must truly be a saint lol.

MYCROFT: matching sherlock's crow, he's, of course, a raven. but there's more to that decision than me wanting them to resemble each other.

actually, i think there's no one more fitting to be a raven than mycroft, as ravens are the birds that to this day are used to guard the buckingham palace. specifically, they hunt down vermin that dare to stick their noses into the royal domain. to me, that sounds a lot like our lovely government guy here!

royal associations aside, these birds are usually much calmer than crows and generally have a somewhat cooler vibe around them. and, of course, they're intelligent as hell. sherly and mycky really do enhance each other as a pair of a crow and a raven in my eyes, just like william and louis do as a pair of barn owls.

that's it for now! hopefully i'll come back to make other parts as well and share all these beautiful photos of birbs hidden in my stash too...

There is a cyclic tragedy inherent to Mori's character wherein he's actually a deeply lonely man, but it's mostly because his resolve to do morally reprehensible things and think of people as pieces on the game board is something he prioritizes over his relations with those very same people, and this inevitably pushes them away (for very understandable reasons). And it kind of sucks honestly because the most frustrating thing about Mori is that he 100% has the potential to be a fantastic teacher and mentor, and more than that, I think he loves it! Just look at Beast! But for as long as he decides he needs to be the one to make "the hard calls" to "preserve peace", then Mori will inevitably continue in this cycle of alienating all the people he has a fondness for.

I do feel as though Mori's loneliness is something he views as a necessary sacrifice that he is making for the greater good (and if he is so willing to sacrifice, then Dazai's unwillingness to do the same comes out of left field because - "what do you mean? you're supposed to be just like me!").

Anyways.

Mori voice: "I'm so alone"

Also Mori: *continues to prioritize pure logic over the emotions of his people and himself*

The people: *get rightly angry and/or become extremely traumatized and leave him*

Mori voice: "I did what needed to be done"

Mori: "..."

Mori: "..."

Mori: "I'm so alone"

Sir. You are doing this to yourself.

One day, he will come back, bathed in blood. He will tap me on the head and say to me with a smile,

“You’re the true Lord Arakawa.”

Now I'm entirely into Attack on Titan, have a Annie from the OVA Manga

"Eren, you are free."

mtp characters as birds (2)

a follow-up to this post (part 1).

and in this part it's gonna be the rest of the moriarty's party + even more fun facts about birbs~

MORAN: a steppe eagle. these birds are large and formidable birds of prey that both hunt live game and don't shy away from scavenging for carrion. and that's exactly the line of thought that i used for an association here. moran, as william's right-hand man, matches this description well: he both hunts down those who are not needed alive anymore, and clears william's path of any filth that could lead to the lord of crime and get in their way. tbh initially he was meant to be an eastern imperial eagle, but i settled for a steppe eagle purely because in my mind, it matches moran's appearance more (as its plumage is quite darker than that of an eastern imperial eagle).

FRED: a shrike! these little cuties look harmless and defenseless, but in reality they're as much fierce hunters as any preying bird. shrikes can eat about anything from insects to vertebrates, including other birds as well, and are known to hunt prey even larger than themselves. but their uniqueness comes from their hunting technique. as shrikes are not true birds of prey (they're passerines), lacking assets that those guys have (like sharp talons), they stalk their prey and ambush it in one swift strike, using their beaks to break victim's neck. and when it comes to killing prey bigger than themselves, they often impale it by carrying and throwing it at sharp barbs or thorns. all in all, they're such cool birdies lol.

anyway, all that yap is just to say that fred's fighting skills and his general role as a spy that hide behind his quiet and kind character (or is it the other way around?) remind me a lot of shrike's behavior and its deceptive nature.

BONDE: right after william, he was the second one with whom i struggled the most, but eventually i've settled on a european bee-eater for him. it's a very beautiful and colorful little bird that imo perfectly reflects james' charm and charisma. but another noticeable thing about bee-eaters (as it's evident from their name lol) is their diet, which consists mostly of, well, bees. sadly, for that reason some beekeepers would often kill them thinking they ruin their hives (which is not the case at all). in a way, that somewhat reminds me of irene adler's fate as well, considering how they endangered themselves for so long while working for a good cause, but then got involved in something far bigger than themselves and just... couldn't handle it, because, despite how talented they are, they're but a human being after all (or a bird being in case of bee-eaters ig).

JACK: ok, it seems like this fancy old man is actually the only one who gets two picks from me lol. you see, i just can't imagine him in his youth and him in his old age to be the same bird. idk, he's like a totally different person, and that's it.

alright, so, the first one, corresponding to his youth, would be a golden eagle. this apex predator perfectly describes jack at his prime, with him being feared by both his foes and allies alike.

the second pick, matching his old butler persona, would be a white stork. tbh it should've been a black stork, as i think its shy and reclusive nature better reflects jack's retirement and living for years as a simple butler, severing any possible connection to his past. and, uhh, bc how could i not include a black stork in a bird list of mine.... my friends would be shocked if they heard about it lool. but then i kinda looked again at this old man and thought that he's. um. if he's old, let him... be old. and look just as glorious for his age even as a bird. :p

MONEYPENNY: a short-eared owl! just... dang. look at how gorgeous these birds are and tell me that moneypenny isn't just as gorgeous as them. honestly, it's one of the few characters/birds where i went mostly by vibe and somewhat by appearance, but gosh that owl looks just like her incarnate, and i can't see it any other way.

VON HERDER: a proud example of a true magpie! he's sooo magpie-coded lol. again, as yet another corvid, magpies are intelligent birds that are also quite playful and energetic. even though them liking shiny/metal things is actually a myth, they're still fond of collecting some little trinkets for building their nests. and i can't help but think of von herder who always does as he pleases and invents all kinds of stuff from nothing. i bet if you give him one day, a can of trash, and leave him in a basement, he'll make you an endless engine because he got too bored. and him loving those strange metal puzzles? so cute. so magpie.

Lanzhou and Control

[spoilers up to chapter 220ish]

So I’ve been working on a future post and have been rereading my personal chapter summaries and notes. As I refreshed my memory and even reread some specific chapters, I ended up asking google a question that sent me to an interesting Reddit post.

Basically someone said they didn’t understand why Shen Zechuan initiated intercourse in chapters 40-41. Someone else gave a very thoughtful reply which you can read here, but the part I’m focusing on for this post is Shen Zechuan’s relationship with control. The replier shared, amongst other things, that Shen Zechuan gave Xiao Chiye control in that situation.

I actually just reread chapter 40 today and noticed that on page 413 of vol. 1 it says “Shen Zechuan allowed Xiao Chiye to gather his wrists into one hand”. I never really thought much of that phrase in my previous readings of volume 1, but I feel like that it only really sunk in for me after getting better acquainted with their relationship as it developed.

Throughout the story it’s repeated over and over how both leads HATE having their lives out of their hands. Xiao Chiye despises that he was forced away from his family and home. And Shen Zechuan hates how he was held at the mercy of others for years as well; vowing to never be in such a position again. Both of these individuals crave freedom. And yet, Shen Zechuan allowed Xiao Chiye to do as he pleased with him.

Now, their first time being intimate has a lot of nuance to it. They both used that moment to escape reality for a time. And this particular instance of relinquished autonomy literally had Shen Zechuan expecting to be handled roughly. But once their relationship developed into a mutual romance, time and time again, Shen Zechuan surrenders control, letting Xiao Chiye take the lead, and following his whims.

I’m currently at chapter 220 and while some of their unions still have escapist undertones, there are still pure romantic moments where Shen Zechuan completely gives himself up to Xiao Chiye. And I think it shows a key difference in these two’s desire for control: Xiao Chiye likes to dominate by nature while Shen Zechuan feels like he has to for survival. Not to call Xiao Chiye a freak, but bro is literally described as enjoying fights, likes the struggle of taming wild animals, and is possessive as hell! While Shen Zechuan’s need for control stemmed from being abused by others throughout his life. When he’s not in control, he gets hurt. So that told him when he’s in control, he can protect himself.

I have taken mental note of a few scenes during Shen Zechuan’s conquering Zhongbo era where he’s tired or even annoyed by the work that goes into running essentially a country. But why doesn’t he delegate those tasks to others? Because unless he is genuinely incapable of getting the job done himself, he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. He’s also stated several times that he doesn’t desire to be at the top: two examples that immediately came to mind being in chapter 70 when Xiao Chiye asks “Don’t you want a turn at the top?” and in Shen Zechuan’s conversation with Yao Wenyu in chapter 146. While in both of these instances he was bluffing, part of me thinks there is at least a semblance of truth to the statement.

When he lived with the Jis in Duanzhou, he was content with his simple life. He wanted to be like his brother and become a squad commander one day, but that’s nowhere near as ambitious as taking over and bringing peace to several prefectures. He was happy. And then his world was flipped upside down.

While I don’t think he necessarily regrets the path he is on now, he definitely misses simpler times. In chapter 209 Shen Zechuan says he forced himself to stop thinking about his days in Duanzhou because remembering those times make him cry. He was forcefully removed from a life he loved, and thrusted into the middle of a violent political struggle.

All of this to say, while Shen Zechuan is implied to be a natural leader and has a domineering nature, it isn’t really a position he chose to be in. Every action he takes is deeply calculated from multiple angles for the best possible outcome. Even carefully crafting his persona to attempt to control how he’s perceived. And living your life like that is DRAINING!

Oh man, Shen Zechuan is tired 😩

But when he’s with Xiao Chiye, he can turn his brain off. He can forget about his meetings. Forget about trying to watch everything the other enemy factions are doing. Forget about trying to put up a front as to not scare those around him with his true self. He can melt into Xiao Chiye and think of nothing but him.

I think the real turning point in their relationship was in the Public Ditches arc. Shen Zechuan is literally out of commission for several days due to illness and Xiao Chiye came to watch him every single night. Shen Zechuan had no choice but to let Xiao Chiye take care of him… but the tenderness Xiao Chiye showed him? The genuine concern? The comforting whispers and cuddles? It left an impression on Shen Zechuan.

I think Xiao Chiye’s sincerity truly shined through to him in those moments. None of those actions were necessary, and yet Xiao Chiye ran himself ragged handling his professional work and his silly little guy.

Shen Zechuan being cherished in such a vulnerable moment showed him that he could really trust Xiao Chiye. Half a decade before, people in power took advantage of Shen Zechuan and pinned the deaths of tens of thousands on a confused and delirious teenaged boy, while this big love struck dummy showed Shen Zechuan an intimacy he had never experienced before. And that’s so beautiful I could cry.

Shen Zechuan doesn’t need to be on his guard around Xiao Chiye, and Xiao Chiye likes being a leader. Shen Zechuan has his trusted confidant and Xiao Chiye tamed his falcon. …well, work in progress. His falcon still gets himself hurt carelessly.

Shen Zechuan needed stability and someone to lean on. And he found that in Xiao Chiye.

I have so many thoughts. OMG I’m so unwell about these two. I started writing this at 3am and forced myself to go to bed and finish it upon waking up. They drive me crazy. All the worm in my brain are Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye shaped!!!

In my next essay I shall explore why they rolepla—

Eren wants to forget. Mikasa chooses to remember.

If Eren really did send all these alternative universe visions to Mikasa, he wants to turn her back so she won’t follow the same bloody path as him. Eren sees their desire to be together as selfish one, because instead of fighting alongside with others and doing something great, they are choosing to live a peaceful life in mountains.

Eren loves his friends, but he is ready to sacrifice his love and humanity for a greater good. He doesn’t want them to remember him and bring them so much pain with his actions. He wants them to forget him so they won’t suffer as he did, when his close ones died.

But Mikasa sees it as the motivation to keep fighting and saving. She chooses to live so she will remember and the memory of her loved ones won’t die with her.

“Once I'm dead, I won't even be able to remember you. So I'll win, no matter what. I'll live, no matter what!”

Actually, before I thought that it was either because of her triggered anxiety, when she loose people she loves or when Ymir/Eren changes something in the timeline, but now it’s because Eren sends her alt. visions that should stop her from following him, but she still continues to move forward and stay by his side. Since she chooses to remember, Mikasa is technically opposing him and when she does, Mikasa gets a headache.

Mikasa’s selfish desire to be close to Eren saved so many people from Yeagerists and titans. Mikasa could simply die back in time and let herself be eaten by a titan. But her desire to love and remember pushes her to fight and simply live. Because of her Gabi wasn’t killed, Louise and her mom weren’t eaten by a titan, Kiyomi and her people didn’t die from hands of Yeagerists and much much more.

For Mikasa, love is a motivation. For Eren, love is a sacrifice.

Water Lilies painted by Claude Monet (1840 - 1926)