Next Time On ‘Cortex: The Awful Dad’….Idk.

CUTE!

CharacterHub

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Now i have a characterhub count

...uh

Did I miss something?

Thank my Discord mutual for the idea >:)

Ever since I watched Randomalistic’s Turbo/King Candy video, I’ve been sinking back into my Wreck it Ralph hyperfixation which then made me come up with a crack au of dad Turbo

Like imagine if Turbo never went…..well…..turbo and his game remained plugged in the arcade with Felix over the years. He’s still an egotistic asshole but isn’t as murderous like in the film and sees himself as a role model/inspiration for the newer racing game characters.

But then Sugar Rush is plugged in and he now has a little hell spawn rival who is Princess Vanellope. She’s just as cocky as he is and they’re always spitting insults at each other with the little racer calling him “grandpa” and “bug face”. To her, it’s all fun and games while Turbo is so done with her!

But then he notices her racing and realizes she actually has skills. Maybe not as good as his (no one can ever be better than him) but still impressive. So he gives her tips on how to improve her speed, perform tricks, drive dirty and rough, etc. and then eventually bringing her to practice on his track in his game. Everyone is so astonished by this. Turbo not only openly acknowledging another racer but also teaching them?!

Whether they realize it or not, they develop a mentor/student or pseudo-father/daughter dynamic that has everyone in the arcade giggling at how funny and kinda endearing it is.

Every time Vanellope wins a race, Turbo brags about it to everyone, saying how “She learnt that from me!” And “Of course she won! I’m her teacher after all!!”

He is the ultimate soccer mom who brags nonstop about his winner child and is such a bad role model (encourages cheating and being a show-off) and always spoils her

Please tell me I’m not the only one who thought of this comparison.

🤔tiny doey

Mel: "Tries to escape the shop through a window to go to a fight with her knife on her hand."

Ken: Where do you think you are going?

Mud: "Taking away the knife" Yeah. I have to agree with your pops on this one. That's not a good idea.

Mud: "Pulls out the biggest, most ridiculous sword ever out of nowhere." Here. Take this instead.

Mel: "Takes it and runs away laughing like a maniac."

Mud: Have fun!

Ken: ...

Mud: What?

Waylon for the love headcanons, pretty please?

Send me a character and I’ll reply with my headcanons…

When they discover they’re got a crush: It comes gradually. Real gradually. Like, slower than molasses on a hot summer day kinda gradual. Waylon has spent most of his life alone. So, to realize that what he’s feeling very well might be something other than acknowledgement of your presence, is...kind of scary. He’s never felt like this before, for anyone.

How they confess/hint: He’s pretty upfront with you about it. But in a very awkward way. After all, he’s never really had the chance to explore this kind of thing before, so he doesn’t really know how things are supposed to work. The most he can offer you is a very raggedy, crumpled attempt at a bouquet and a half-assed confession. Give him credit, he’s trying, at the very least. This is very new territory for him.

Big gestures of love: Making an effort to get out into the world more and stop hiding himself away like the recluse that he is. He can’t live in the sewers of Gotham forever.

Little gestures of love: Filing down his claws so he can hold you without leaving scratches. Making his home “presentable” when you come over to visit. Finding and giving you things that he thinks (and hopes) you’ll like.

How to win their heart: Treat him like a regular human being. Give him the respect he wants and deserves. Just don’t treat him any differently, like everyone else does. It’s such a small, basic request, but you’d be shocked how many people find even that to be too much.

How to break their heart: Make fun of him in pretty much any way. He knows he’s a freak, he doesn’t need to be constantly reminded of it, much less by someone he was stupid enough to trust.

Tiny little turn-ons: When you run your nails down the seams in-between his scales. Especially on his less guarded areas, like his stomach and chest.

Big turn-ons: Being bitten. I know with hide like his it seems like a meaningless gesture. But when he feels your blunt little teeth digging into his thick skin, trying to leave some sort of impression, he can’t stop himself from letting out a growl of pleasure that rumbles through his whole body.

Things that make their heart flutter: The fact that you treat him like you would anyone else. That you trust him with your safety. That you respect his boundaries and that you care about the things that make him happy.

Their type: If you asked, he’d probably say someone smaller than him, because he’s a fan of size-differences...but let’s be real. Everyone is smaller than him.

Ideal date: He doesn’t have a preference. Somewhere quiet, probably. Not a lot of people around. Somewhere peaceful. Other than that, he doesn’t care.

Past relationships: He “dated” Mary Dahl for a short time, though it was a bit more of a one-sided relationship on her end that he wasn’t fully aware he was supposed to be a part of.

How they might affect current relationships: He’s pretty wary of people in general, especially those that try to rush into things. He likes to take it slow.

‘Goals’ in a relationship (marriage, kids, a house, etc): Even if he did have any future goals, he knows none of them would ever work out for him. He’s...y’know, a giant, man-eating mutant. Not to mention a wanted criminal. A ‘Normal’ life isn’t something within his grasp.

Any other love headcanons: Though he’s got a tough time opening up emotionally, in a relationship with him, Communication is Key.